Freddy Kreuger vs An Insane Proctologist: Who will win?

Two movies come out today. Sure, I know 99.9% of you are going to see the remake today. But the 0.1% of the horror-verse will go see another movie...one I'm waaaaay fuckin hyped up to see. Yup. Today we go to the doctors office and see The Human Centipede.So I've compiled some links from the jaded viewer archives for both movies to get you hyped up for both. My thoughts? I've already seen a child molester kill teens in their sleep. Been there, done...

Categories: a nightmare on elm street, a nightmare on elm street remake trailer, freddy kreuger, freddy kreuger death scenes, nightmare on elm street, worst freddy kreuger demise

Never Evaaaaaar Play NES Nightmare on Elm Street: The Game

In honor of the bastardization to come in the new Nightmare on Elm Street remake that comes out tomorrow, let's look back at the bastardization of the original Nightmare on Elm Street via video game form.CineMassacre.com's hilarious video review says it all. Thank you Angry Nintendo Nerd for suffering through this for our amusement.Check out the video bel...

Categories: a nightmare on elm street, a nightmare on elm street remake trailer, cinemassacre.com, freddy kreuger, freddy kreuger death scenes, video game movies

The 2010 LAMMY Awards: Nominate and Vote for the jaded viewer!

I'm not going to spend too much time on this but if you're part of the LAMB and you've been a Joe Regular here @ the jaded viewer, why don't you nominate the jaded viewer?I'd like to be nominated for something.Funniest Writer?Best Overall Post?Best Movie Reviewer?Best Horror/Sci Fi Blog?It's all good. The LAMBS are good people and I'm proud to be part of this league of awesomeness. In any case, if you are a fellow LAMB and dig the viewer of jadedness,...

Categories: jadedviewer, jadedviewer.com, lamb, lammys, large association of movie blogs, the jaded viewer

My 12 cents on the Piranha 3D Teaser Trailer

So the Piranha 3D Teaser is out. If you haven't seen, you can watch it below. Insano Steve and I talked yesterday on remakes and his thoughts were Hollywood should make remakes on bad movies and not GOOD movies. I agree.Remake Phantasm or Leprechaun or some other crappy movie. But leave the Elm Streets alone.In any case, Piranha is one that I guess should be remade because....a.) Nobody saw the originalb.) You can showcase Spring break boobagec.)...

Categories: 3d, 3d horror movies, eli roth, piranha 3d, piranha 3d trailer, ving rhames

5 websites that inspired the jaded viewer

I started the jaded viewer in 2006. But really Insano Steve and I kind of started searching for underground horror back in 2002 or so. The internet had just started bursting with horror websites and we were Yahoo-ing sites (yes Yahoo was the big search engine back then) for some movies that could totally blow us away (via shock value and pure gore and splatter).There were barely any horror blogs back then but there were plenty of websites that were...

Categories: horror trades, horror trading lists, jadedviewer, jadedviewer.com, the jaded viewer

Raging Phoenix (Review)

Raging PhoenixRaging Phoenix aka Deu suay doo(2009)Directed by Rashane LimtrakulMove over Tony Jaa. There's a new kick ass fighter that makes you look like Daniel-son. And it's not a dude.JeeJa Yanin sophmore effort after her mega awesome Chocolate lives up to the hype and more. Simply more WTF plot, more zany bad guys and more henchmen to dispose of.This movie has it all.Aside from the goofy plot revolving bottled tears (seriously, I'm not kidding)...

Categories: action cinema, chocolate review, chocolate thai action, JeeJa Yanin, muay thai, raging phoenix, raging phoenix trailer, thai movies, tony jaa

After Dark Horrorfest 4: Dread (Review)

As I mentioned before, I'm reviewing all the After Dark Horrorfest 4 movies on UGO.com. I've made up a hub for all my reviews. Keep checking back as it will be updated once the reviews go live on UGO.com.Here's a little excerpt from my review of Dread."In the same vain as Martyrs, Dread's psychological (then physical) trauma inflicted on the victims is done to prove a point. While Martyrs went beyond the limit, Dread goes a tad...

Categories: after dark, after dark horrorfest 2010, after dark horrorfest 4, after dark horrorfest boxset, clive barker, horrorfest, miss horrorfest

My quote is in a trailer!!!

If you've followed this little corner blog on the web, my running joke is if a quote from one of my reviews ever ended up on a DVD box, poster or advertisement, I would immediately shut down the jaded viewer.I've come close though the criteria hasn't always applied (and I find nice loopholes to keep the site going :-P). My quote from a review of the trailer of Incest Death Squad (full review here) is on the cover of the DVD box. Some of my quotes...

Categories: dead hooker in a trunk, dead hooker in a trunk trailer, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, independent cinema, indie horror, soska sisters

What did you think of Kick-Ass?

Hopefully some of you have seen Kick-Ass (click for full review here) by now. As I said in my review:"Kick-Ass is simply perfection in what a comic book movie is suppose to be. It politely mocks the genre but knows what the audience came to see. Witty humor, POW! BAM! action and a new band of heroes that you won't ever forget. Kick-Ass sits on the throne of comic book movie royalty daring anybody to take away it's crown. Hit Girl says it best.""OK...

Categories: comic books. graphic novels, comics, graphic novel, kick-ass, kick-ass exclusive clip, kick-ass trailer, nicholas cage

It's Chiller Theatre 2010! That means we salute Sci-Fi Ninja Theater!

The Chiller Theatre Expo is taking place this weekend April 16th to 18th in Parsippany, New Jersey. I think I went to my first Chiller in the late 90s or maybe in 2000. I forget. Good times all around. However, having went 2 years ago, I may not go this year. I documented that I thought the horror conventions of late were gasping for air. I've had no motivation to go of late though I must admit the guests seem interesting.I mean where would I get...

Categories: chiller theatre, Chiller Theatre Toy Model and Expo 2008, fangoria weekend of horrors, horror convention, horror dealers, the horror continuum

The Collector (Review)

The CollectorThe Collector (2009)Directed by Marcus DunstanI never liked Saw. My main gripe was it was told in flashbacks that destroyed the suspense. So all that was left was seeing how somebody died or lived through the trap.Mind you I still watch the Saw movies even though I despise them. Why? Because it's like a bad TV show you've already watched a couple of episodes and you feel like you gotta keep watching just to see what they do next.So going...

Categories: 2009 horror movies, 2010 horror dvd, gore, saw, splatter, splatter gore, the collector, top splatter movies, torture porn

The Hero We All Need To Believe In!

Watch this video and see the hero we all can believe in.He will never retreat, never surrender...

Categories: jadedviewer, jadedviewer.com, the jaded viewer

Ong Bak 3 (Trailer)

The original Ong Bak was super duper awesome. Ong Bak 2 was awesome. With Ong Bak 3, it's hard to know what to think. But what you can count on is Tony Jaa jumping on elephants and kneeing and elbowing people in the face. So that's gotta be good right?Check out the trailer bel...

Categories: muay thai, ong bak, ong bak 2, ong bak 3, Prachya Pinkaew, tony jaa

Dawning (Review)

DawningDawning (2009)Directed by Gregg HoltgreweThere are perks to being a part of the horror blogosphere. One of them is getting to see a film the blogosphere has been praising for a while now. After getting a screener from director Gregg Holtgrewe, I had high expectations as much of the buzz was overtly positive.So would I be part of the "Yay" team?I cannot lie. Dawning is quite yay, a few hiccuppy nays but all good.When a indie filmmaker like...

Categories: 2009 horror movies, dawning, independent cinema, indepentent horror, indie horror

After Dark Horrorfest 4: Hidden (Review)

As I mentioned before, I'm reviewing all the After Dark Horrorfest 4 movies on UGO.com. I've made up a hub for all my reviews. Keep checking back as it will be updated once the reviews go live on UGO.com.Here's a little excerpt from my review of Skjult aka Hidden."It's a little odd that Hidden has ended up in the After Dark Horrorfest 4 lineup. The film has some elements of horror, but it’s really a psychological suspense movie...

Categories: 2010 horror dvd, 2010 horror movies, after dark, after dark horrorfest 2010, after dark horrorfest 4, after dark horrorfest boxset, horrorfest, miss horrorfest

5 Foreign Movies that are Shocking as Hell (and that you may not have heard of)

Clearly, my post on the new freakishly bio-torture film, The Human Centipede has got me thinking of other foreign flicks that have been labeled as "most disturbing" or "totally shocking". I had to search long and hard to figure out what I HAD seen and what I could put comprehensively on a list. What I have down below is what I can remember and probably just a few of the movies I've seen that are disturbing as hell.Sure there are others, but I tried...

Categories: disturbing movies, independent cinema, man bites dog, mutant pig, shocking movies, sweet movie, underground splatter

After Dark Horrorfest 4: The Reeds (Review)

As I mentioned before, I'm reviewing all the After Dark Horrorfest 4 movies on UGO.com. I've made up a hub for all my reviews. Keep checking back as it will be updated once the reviews go live on UGO.com.Here's a little excerpt from my review of The Reeds."The one thing I’ll say about The Reeds is, well it had actual planty like reeds. As for the movie itself, it’s a muddy boggy creek. In other words, a complete mess."Read the rest of...

Categories: after dark, after dark horrorfest 2010, after dark horrorfest 4, after dark horrorfest boxset, british horror, horrorfest, miss horrorfest

I'm a fan of watching people get surgically connected by their anus

Last September, I first heard of The Human Centipede and my jaw dropped. The stills were WHA!?!? The plot was double WHA?!? I even wrote:"Is this the start of biotorture horror?"The thing about a movie like The Human Centipede is its like eating really uber spicy food. Or kinda like eating super apocalyptic, nuclear hot wings. It's not going to taste good, you are probably going to vomit and it's going to make you feel sick, but if you get through...

Categories: 2010 horror movies, 5 types of moviegoers who watch horror movies, the human centipede, the human centipede photos, the human centipede trailer, torture porn

I watch Skinemax for the acting and story!

I watch Skinemax for the acting and story! Don't you?Part of my tagline above is to review the world of erotica. Well I've been slacking on that subgenre of late. I mean the only erotica review I've ever done was detailing the exploits of the titular character Anita in Anita: The Shocking Account of a Young Nymphomaniac.Starring Swedish girl next door Christine Lindberg, this is some quality erotica. But here in the good ole United States of America,...

Categories: after dark, gratuitous nudity, nudity, porn, porn stars, skinemax

Leftover Thoughts: Jaded Viewer Edition

Before I started the jaded viewer, I had a personal blog filled with my leftover thoughts. The blog was aptly titled leftoverthoughts. It was pure continuum of thought, just randomness, blurbs and mumbo jumbo. I figured I'd share the more movie and horror themed thoughts I posted on this now defunct site. Enjoy!You know, its actually hard to speak like you're in the Buffyverse...I know this for a fact because I tend to skew my nouns into adjectives...

Categories: jadedviewer, jadedviewer.com, leftover thoughts, the horror continuum, the jaded viewer

After Dark Horrorfest 4: Lake Mungo (Review)

As I mentioned before, I'm reviewing all the After Dark Horrorfest 4 movies on UGO.com. I've made up a hub for all my reviews. Keep checking back as it will be updated once the reviews go live on UGO.com.Here's a little excerpt from my review of Lake Mungo."I must admit, Lake Mungo was not on my must-see radar when reviewing the After Dark Horrorfest movies. But this is the hidden gem beneath the proverbial sand of the eight films. I was exceptionally...

Categories: after dark, after dark horrorfest 2010, after dark horrorfest 4, after dark horrorfest boxset, australian horror, horrorfest, miss horrorfest, paranormal activity, the blair witch project

EXCLUSIVE!!! A Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake Review)

A Nightmare on Elm StreetA Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake -2010)Directed by Samuel BayerI must be the luckiest man in NYC. Somehow the stars aligned again and after I got to see an early screening of Kick-Ass, I couldn't believe I got to watch the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street yesterday. April is starting out super awesome!But my dream turned into a nightmare after I saw this turd of a turd.Sorry folks, it's a big giant pile of heaping crap.And...

Categories: a nightmare on elm street, a nightmare on elm street remake trailer, freddy kreuger, freddy kreuger death scenes, horror remakes, nightmare on elm street, slasher films, worst freddy kreuger demise