Wednesday, October 31, 2007

It's Jorg Buttgereit Week! Nekromantik 2 (Review)

Nekromantik 2
Nekromantik 2 (1991)

Directed by Jorg Buttgereit

The inevitable sequel is always determined if its better than the original. In the case of Nekromantik, it kinda is.

Buttgereit (still in classic art house mode) wiggles in David Lynchian imagery, classical music and corpse fucking.

And he does it so damn well.

The movie begins with the ending of the 1st movie in all its climactic, volcano glory.

The story (or lack therof) introduces Monika, a Rob loving necro herself who digs up poor Rob (our sick and depraved hero from part 1) and lets it be known that all Germans are into this sort of stuff.

Mind you, you'd think that riggo mortus would be an issue but logistics be damned!

Monika (played by Monika M. how original!) takes a bath with Rob (sorta like Bert and Ernie in those rub a dub tub scenes and only if Ernie was a rotting corpse and we all know Bert is evil)

She cuts off Rob's penis and stuffs it into the fridge (you make the joke).

Then Monika meets Mark (who voices pornos) and he discovers Monika's hobbies are little offbeat. But Monika is determined to make things work in her twisted world and in the shocking ending, we see her devious plan come to fruition.

The ending alone is by far the most clever yet perverted sickest shit I've ever seen. And as you may or may not want to know, let's spoil it for you nevertheless.

How do you solve your corpse fucking problem and your love of alivey flesh?


As Monika's ruse unfolds, she and Mark get down and dirty but alas poor Mark has no idea what's in store. Monika hacksaws his head most grusomely and replaces it with Rob.

What better way to get best of both worlds. Alas her dilemma is solved and for the audience, gore and sexhounds rejoice.

Nekromantik 2 goes on a whole new direction this time. Buttgereit doesn't go for shock value (well yeah he does but in its in his nature you know?). This time around, Jorg goes for what the title is all about. NEKRO + ROMANTIK. Get it?

Monika's love for both the stiff corpse that is Rob and the satisfaction of sexual desire is perfectly molded into one during the climatic final scene.

So let's just get this straight here. It's one fucked up movie. Buttgereit dresses part 2 in his sick blood spurting, seal dissecting package but at the end of the day, its still a movie about fucking a corpse.

The FX are still top notch (for its day) and Rob's sickly, greenish vomit inducing corpse is the star. Buttgereit giddyups into territory nobody else goes to and his sequel delivers the goods.

Nekromantik 2 is splatter-necro-core at its best. And for Buttgereit, the fact that he single handidly created a new sub sub genre, deserves around a round of decomposing applause.


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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

It's Jorg Buttgereit Week! Der Todesking (Review)

Der Todesking

Der Todesking (1990)

Directed by Jorg Buttgereit

Jorg Buttgereit week continues. In this installment, we bring you the review of Der Todesing (aka The Death King).

IMDB Plot Vault:

Seven episodes, each taking place on a different day of the week, on the theme of suicide and violent death.

Yup. Suicide and death. That's it in a nutshell.

This is one of the better Jorg movies as it done so cleanly and though filled with violent imagery and sick and twisted scenes of suicide, it's slickly metaphoric about the graphic subject matter it's showing.

As mentioned, each day of the week shows a suicide and death and the precursor or aftermath of each. Let's go through each of them shall we?

Courtesy of Wikipedia.


A man comes home, phones his boss to resign from his job, writes mysterious letters, cleans his apartment and swallows poison in his bathtub. His death is simultaneous with the death of his fish, the only being that was close to him.

Clip from Monday episode:


A man rents a film in a video store, a movie in which Nazi soldiers are torturing a prisoner in a concentration camp, castrating him and painting a swastika on his breast. When the young man's girlfriend comes home, she yells at him until he kills her with a gun. This whole episode is being shown on a TV screen in a room where somebody has been hanged.


A man and a girl meet in a park in the pouring rain. The man tells the girl about his disastrous sex life with his wife which led to him killing her. The girl pulls out a gun to kill him, but the man takes it from her and blows his brains out.


A motorway bridge somewhere in Germany, superimposed by the names, ages and occupations of the people who have jumped from it.


A woman, alone in her apartment, is observing a young, seemingly happy couple in the neighbourhood. She spies on them and finds a chain letter in front of her door, urging her to kill herself. Obviously everybody in the house got the letter. She ignores it, eats chocolates and falls asleep, dreaming of surprising her parents when they make love. The camera shows the young couple, dead on their bed.


A young woman, equipped with a camera and a gun, kills several people in the audience of a rock concert (the front man is played by Die Ärzte-drummer Bela B.) and records it on film, until someone kills her.


A man, alone on his bed, is crying and banging his head over and over violently against the wall until he dies.

The episodes are interspaced with sequences showing a corpse in the cumulative state of decay.

This time around Jorg shows us suicide in all its graphic yet docu-style glory.

Monday is the typical suicide, depressed man nothing to live for. His fish is his only friend.

Tuesday's is the anger suicide, with a twist I didn't see coming. (look for Jorg's other movies in the video store scene)

Wednesday's is the revenge suicide. (total sick slo-mo bullet in the brain)

Thursday is the mass suicide. (crazy theatre style executions)

Friday's is the unknown suicide.

Saturday is the public suicide and Sunday is the crazy suicide.

Got all that?

Buttgereit's facets on death are eerily striking. The scenes are graphic and unrelenting. Jorg shows us death in it's natural state. He does not tell us why these indivuduals have commited suicide or murder. Motives are not known. Der Todesking is about the natural act of commiting suicide. The taboo of suicide is never discused in film. At times its romanticized and made Hollywood-ish in subject mater. Buttgereit's days of the week approach to story telling as a rotting corpse decomposes is metaphoric of time's arrow of death.

Each suicide is an example of reasons unknown, of death in its most purest state and taking the bird eye's perspective.

Der Todesking is a hard movie to watch as compared to hmmm let's say Nekromantik? But it's impact is so mersmerizing that after watching it, you'll feel a little part of you has died.


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Monday, October 29, 2007

It's Jorg Buttgereit Week! Nekromantik (Review)

Nekromantik (1987)

Directed by Jorg Buttgereit

**Warning: Some of this film may be seen as grossly offensive and should not be shown to minors!!!**

-from the trailer of "Nekromantik"


I remember vividly when my friend and I decided to irrevocably change the way we watch horror movies. As we were super splatter-philes already, we decided to take the plunge into the world of sick and twisted underground horror.

We knew what the movie was about. Sick, perverted necrophilia. But it's reputation was undisputed. It was banned in many countries, even it's own. It's director was German and was being arrested for indecent content for showing it in various German film festivals.

So in the late 90's, after many months of hype among the both of us we went to a seemingly innocent Queens video store and there lay Nekromantik. It's box cover slightly deterioriated. The images in the back of the box very disturbing. The plot summary vague and overhyped. We quickly brought the box to the counter and rented the damn thing. In it's VHS glory (not rewound) it was ready for viewing.

Holy fuckin shit.

Plot summary: (from your IMDB super store)

A street sweeper who cleans up after grisly accidents brings home a full corpse for him and his wife to enjoy sexually, but is dismayed to see that his wife prefers the corpse over him

Yeah. If you can call that a plot. The thing about Nekoromantik is that it's filmed so grainy and staticky (thank's to Jorg's Super 8) you swear you were watching this at one of the old grindhouses in Times Square. And that's why this was the #1 bootlegged film of all time (according to various sources I made up).

The opening scene catapults you into glorious splatter as our man Rob, cleans up after a grisly car accident between some oversexed Germans. He brings the eyes of the corpse home to his wife Betty and we get to enjoy their lovely oh so lovely necrophilia fetish (that's fucking dead bodies). It seems Rob loves collecting body parts (I mean who doesn't?)

Later, some dude who is picking apples (?) is killed and his body is dumped in a lake which leads to Joe's Streetcleaning Agency picking up the corpse. Rob decides that a whole corpse is just what's needed for his entire collection.

The pinnacle scene involves Rob, Betty and Mr. Corpse enjoying the most twisted threeway you've ever seen.

Jorg films this all artsy farsty avante garde Fellini-ish cinema. He intertwines random styilized shots, then shows us some sick perverted corpse fucking. The piano music is all mellow, classical and somewhat mesmerizing. You fall into a trance while watching Betty prop up a a broom handle where the corpse's johnson was and then put a condom on it.

Yeah I know. I can't believe I just wrote that too.

It's as sick as advertised. Later, Rob loses his job and Betty leaves him and takes the corpse with her. Rob's psychosis and depression leads to murder, which leads to rape, which then leads to...well you get the picture.

The final scene finds Rob, totally distraught and looking to fulfill the void left by his wife and his need that is corpse fucking. The climax (pun sooooooo intentionally intended) is outright shocking.

So wtf, see it below.

If you somehow got through that, mucho kudos. Nekromantik is by far Jorg's best movie. He's got themes in it (some critics even say its about the AIDS epidemic), but you really shouldn't be trying to concern yourself with that, I mean seriously.

After viewing it for the first time back then, it did what it intended to do. Shock and Awe. 80 minutes of sick, disturbed imagery and the subject matter nobody dares talk about.

Added listlessly are scenes of a rabbit being skinned (for real!), decapitations, blood soaked baths, wrist cutting and lack of dialogue.

It's to be seen to be believed.

Jorg Buttgereit's Nekromantik is the apex of where all movies about necrophilia splatter flicks are judged (I mean the only other movie in this category is its freakin sequel)

It's so sick and twisted you feel ashamed to have watched it. But never has a movie made me spew out (pun again sooooo totally intended) such vile and happiness. The fact that it warranted a sequel says it all.

The Trailer:


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Monday, October 15, 2007

Review of the Day: Captivity

You really have to think twice when you decide to watch a horror movie where the lead actress is soooo hot you'll see her in anything. Of course you'd like to see her naked, covered in blood or screaming in pain. Or doing something sexually deviant or psychotic or violent.

But if you do watch a movie because of this reason, you have a severe case of "Dark Angel Syndrome".

(Dark Angel Syndrome: Watching any particular form of entertainment (movie, tv show, etc.) because the hotness of lead actress outweighs the horrible plot, bad acting and totally shitty experience of the show. )

Well I've got a severe case of DAS because I watched both Captivity and Rise: Blood Hunter (which I'll review this week) back to back. And all I know is my head is spinning from the after effects of seeing these turds.

So on to the review!

Captivity (2007)
Directed by Roland Joffe

Elisha Cuthbert is freakin hot. Her blondness. Her full figuredness. Her voloptuousness. Her breastedness. Her blue eyes-ness. Her Canadianess. Super hot.

OK now that I got that out of my system.

Regurgitated plot is about a super model and stranger are abducted by an unknown serial killer and are held captive where sadistic games are played on the both of them.

Of course its rippin off Saw but Saw didn't have a hot actress screaming in every scene and crying in pain for almost the entire movie (hmm actually all the Saw movies did...never mind).

Torture-core has been secretly embedding its way into mainstream horror but its 15 minutes are up. But that's not to say that the sub sub genre doesn't have merit. Captivity was utter garbage. Cuthbert's overacting, the lack of tortureific devices was non existent and the twist ending was sooo predictable a 3rd grader could have figured it out.

Of course I watched recut edition that seems devoid of any gore or torture. But it would have all been the same anyway.

Cuthbert is waaay hot but no way does it save the movie.

If you want to watch torture-core in its finest and purest form, you need only see a few movies on a short short (midget-ish) list.

August Underground (Original, Mordum and Penance) and Murder Set Pieces.

All of them are sadistic, sick and twisted. Worst than Saw, worst than anything known on the planet. And thoughts spew out just thinking of the sick shit that's in these torture-core masterpieces. (I'll share them on a later date)

But if you need your Elisha fix and need to see a innocent woman tortured, then Captivity is your bag.

I mean look at her: How could I not suffer DAS on this.


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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Consolation Prizes of American Horror

So as we wrap up 2007, Hollywood is churning out some horror that may or may not be worth 2 shits. Below is a list of some either gems or turds with extra corn.

1.) 30 Days of Night

The Blah Blah Blah:

Vampires in Alaska. Did I just write that?

2.) Saw IV

The Blah Blah Blah:

Is Jigsaw the new Chucky? Seems like it after the 4th effin sequel.

3.) The Signal

The Blah Blah Blah:

Cell phones make people go insane. That happens everyday in NYC.

4.) P2

The Blah Blah Blah:

More torture-core? Please stop. I mean I'm one Captivity away from torturing some innocent woman.

5.) The Mist

The Blah Blah Blah:

When weather becomes the unstoppable evil, I feel like they're not even trying anymore.

That's all theatrical for now. I left off release dates because I mean all of the above makes me want to have Hatchet face slice me open.

There are a few straight to DVDers that peaked my interest.

Wrong Turn 2 (ooooooooooh)

Return to House on Haunted Hill (with their gimmicky "You Choose their fate" function)

Black Sheep

...and countless others. I think it's time I rejoin Netflix.

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Review of the Day: Hatchet


Hatchet (2006)
Directed by Adam Green

Old School American Horror. Motherfucker.

What makes a good, fun slasher movie? Below is a list of what we here at jadedviewer deem as full of chunky gooiness when it comes to the ingredients of a solid slasher-palooza.

Does Hatchet achieve everything on this list?

1.) A mysterious, insanely strong, ridiculed as a child, deformed, inbred redneck slasher.


2.) Gratuitous, over the top, super fleshy nudity (and seeing the boobies of a former Buffy the Vampire Slayer cast member)?


3.) Stereotypical teenage caricatures with a few old people who die gruesome and horrific over the top deaths?


4.) No Plot.


5.) Kills by our slasher that make you go "Fuck yeah!"


6.) Gore, lots of it. Like serious decapitation, dismemberment, impalement, hatchet frenzy steroid rages and blood shooting out at various penetration wounds, limbs a flailing and mindless splatter and mayhem


7.) Geeky leader who takes charge of the hapless group as they try to escape who befriends a hot girl who knows about the "legend" (there's always a legend no one believes)


8.) Funny yet ill timed dialogue but also various quips and one liners that are funny only the first time around (yet somehow funny again when you buy the DVD and only when you're stoned)


9.) Gratuitous cameos by actors who have portrayed horror legends (Candyman, Freddy Kreuger and Jason Voorhees) that make you flash a metal sign and do the Beavis and Butthead pseudo head nodding.


10.) Wildly ambigious ending that can be used to warrant a sequel?


Hatchet is 80 minutes of the most fun I've had in a theatre. I had to scour NYC to find the one theatre it was playing at. Some of the jokes were kinda lame but the characters were throwbacks: geeky leader, token black guy (who plays the token black guy to perfection), bimbos with the idiotic director, Floridian elderly touristy couple, hot looking local and the asian (or not so asian) tour captain.

And the throwbacks made me all nostalgiky. Our man, Hatchet head is by far the most solid slasher to come along in ages. He's not a mysterious, conjured up evil or a pissed off fisherman, nor is he two teenage horror buffs.

He's a deformed, inbred redneck with a big hatchet scar. His had put a hatchet in his fuckin head. That's a awesome slasher.

Hatchet is great fun. It won't change your life, but when has seeing gore and titties at the same time made you think of changing the way you live. Right?