Thursday, September 25, 2014

Blood Manor 2014 (Review)

Blood Manor really wants to provoke all sorts of reactions for all who go through its doors. And that reaction can come in many ways. Being scared shitless, getting angry after a well timed quip or hainv a feeling of dread as you enter from room to room.

It's why it's the go to blockbuster haunted house in NYC.

I've been going to Blood Manor since 2009 and the rooms have always been top notch and the actors as intimidating and sarcastic as ever. What you don't realize is the level of effects that go in as makeup and costumes transform regular actors into a split personality schizo monsters. They'll get in your face, chew your ear off (literally if they had a chance) and the sheer girth of some of these actors is as intimidating as their personalities.

All of this happening while you're trying to find the exit.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Blood Manor is the Michael Bay of haunted houses. The walk through in Blood Manor is as frenetic or as easy going as you want it to be. The actors laugh hysterically and maniacally. They say they want to be your friend but they're probably going to just fuck with you in every way possible.

The ending is as its been for the last few years, highly colorized. But still seems to make Blood Manor distinctly pre-packaged scary. This year they've added a few new touches to scare and to make everything more orderly. A time ticket cuts wait times and a "Touch Me Thursday" as limited touching by the actors. After Halloween, Blackout Nights aim to amp up the dread.

If your tween girl needs to get her haunt on, Blood Manor is her pumpkin spice latte.

The Vitals

 Check out the trailer below.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Jaded Viewer Returns!


Wow that was one hell of a hiatus. Have I not really blogged since Nov 8th 2013?? Jeezus. And no explanation of my disappearance. WTF me! Well if you've just abandoned all ye hope, I don't blame you. It is what is is.

Well I don't know what to tell you. I just needed a break and honestly I was lacking in viewing any horror of late. I watched a few Marvel movies and a few comedies, I really don't know what happened. It probably has to do with a busted computer infected with all sorts of digital Ebola and my lack of access to film screeners. But these are lame excuses I know.

However with Halloween fast approaching, I think I need to get back into the horror state of mind. That means hopefully reviews of NYC haunted houses and the season crop of horror movies.

And maybe a walkthrough of an infamous haunted house that I've been promising for like fuckin forever.

Let me start off by giving you what I thought was the best in 2013.

V/H/S 2, Maniac, Evil Dead, The Battery and the best horror flick I saw last year was You're Next.

I think what's rejuvenated me are two flicks I'm super psyched for.

Kevin Smith's Tusk and Adam Wingard The Guest.

God I hope they are fuckin awesome.

Sorry for the unannounced hiatus and I hope you'll come back and read up on my random horror musings. One final thing. I want to end this blog on a good note so I'm officially letting it be known this is the final season of the jaded viewer.

I'm not sure what the exact end date is but this time, I'll let you know. No idea why I put up that Superman 2 ending. It was floating in my head when I decided to reboot.

Sorry I've been away to long. I won't let you down again,