Monday, September 30, 2013

Nightmare Killers 2 Haunted House (Review)

As you enter Killers 2: A Nightmare Haunted House, a man tells you about the horrors of unsolved murders and gruesome murders of NYC and around the country. It's pretty terrifying to know serial killers are out there, somewhere waiting, hunting. If this doesn't unnerve you a bit, maybe a walking Jeffrey Dahmer lookalike will. The notorious reputation gained from last year's haunted house Tim Haskell's sequel is actually more terrifying and spectacularly awesome than the previous version. The rooms move like clockwork, the performances are top notch and set up jump scares that will have you jumping out of your shoes and an ending that will make you rethink walking down an infamous street.

Nightmare Killers 2 is a perfect clash of documentary meets haunted house terror. You may not know who each of these infamous serial killers are, but they all will be imprinted in your mind once you leave. If there is one New York City haunted house you and some friends want to get your scare on, Killers 2 is it. It has all the elements of the traditional room scares, the sets that go from tight spaces to creepy uncomforableness and just the right amount of scares from being the first person in to the last person out.

Wikipedia the Killers

Like last year, I attended Killers 2 with the lovely "L" from Downtown Traveler. It seems we are both adept at being both jaded upon all haunted houses these days with the thing scaring us the most is not being able to know where to go next.  Upon entering the Clemente Soto Velez Cultural and Educational Center, you'll be greeted at the acid trip paintings of some of history's notorious serial killers with a some notes on their gruesome murders and crimes. I highly suggest you read these blurbs so you know who you'll be meeting once you go in. This year also has a Killers Act Stage where a variety of performers (ranging from some piano playing to spoken word when I was there) perform for the people waiting on lines. It's something to watch instead of playing Candy Crush on your phone.

Molested by Uncle John

In keeping with what worked, Nightmare brings back the option of being touched by the actors. If you choose to do so some double XX blood splatter will be marked on your forehead. I of course chose this option because who doesn't liked getting touched by depraved psychopaths? Patrons will go in groups of 6 or so and it actually is the perfect amount to get the most of each room. Groups work best as you can laugh at others being scared shitless.

I won't spoil the rooms but this years version seems to up the ante. Actors will get up close and personal, yell out instructions and retort with their own brand of devlish humor if you disobey. You'll get a variety of rooms, with set designs that you may remember and others that are intricately detailed with 70s and 80s nostalgia. And with these elaborate sets are the infamous killers, telling their wicked tales of murder and dementia. Last years version had the creme de la creme, this years we get some familiars and a few that you probably never heard of (I didn't). Harrison Graham and Aileen Wournos might have you Googling but Charles Manson and Richard Ramirez will have you going oh oh. A few fictional killers will make appearances as well and were quite a surprise.

Each room tells a tale and the actors do a great job of giving you some Wikipedia about these maniacs before the unsuspecting participants get BOOed! It's in your interest to immerse yourself in each room and get an idea of the story each rooms pulls off. If you partake earlier in the season, you'll have at least a minute and a half in each room and the haunt paces it nicely making sure you get to spend quality time with each killer. You'll be asked to perform some actions and marked foreheads will get extra attention. I was again molested by John Wayne Gacy (goddamit I hate clowns) as I made a new friend in his basement. Nightmare seems to moving over into that edge of getting under your skin with the touching and even my sarcasm directed to the actors didn't break their concentration. Uncle John promised me candy. I didn't get any.

Later on "L" got abducted by Richard Ramirez and I was called an "asshole" by a certain American Slasher. The actors truly make it work and even go into the surreal with Wuornos room being very. It would seem you can get 20-30 minutes out of the whole experience though I found myself trudging into each room head on and allowing myself to get up close and personal. 


Nightmare had a few rooms that seemed anti climactic. An outside adventure that had Dexter last year was a bit more subdued. There was some cushioned narrow corridors and a swamp that had me mesmerized by the design but also as scared as watching Twilight. However, the ending of a certain Harrison Graham was completely bonkers and I had remnants my encounter with a certain "monster" all over my shirt. That to me should have been the ending but instead we get a post credits scene that made it anti climactic. But overall, that last encounter proved priceless to myself and it was something I would not forget.

With Halloween fast approaching, each room may not get your full attention as crowds and actors will speed read their lines and scare faster. I think if you go before Halloween or after, you'll get the full effect of what Nightmare Killers 2 has to offer.

Killers 2 is one of those haunted house sequels that actually outdoes its predecessor. The direction, the pace, the actors, the killers and the overall experience is one that seems fine tuned and in flow. New York City is a scary place in itself sometimes but even the hardcore jaded New Yorker needs to go to a place that creates a scare machine to test his limits.

Why not attempt to go through a maze of serial killers? If you pass that test, it's like getting a gold star and some candy.

Just don't get molested by Uncle John.

The Vitals
Check out the trailer

For a full schedule of performances visit

Tickets for NIGHTMARE: KILLERS2 are $30 - $60 and available at, or at the box office prior to each performance.   

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Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Paris Catacombs are AWESOME, the horror movie is SHIT

So I vaguely remember seeing this Catacombs movie on Showtime late at night a few years back. I never thought anything about it but I figured I'd watch because I had a crush on  Shannyn Sossamon and I mean it had fuckin PINK in it. Honestly, I couldn't tell you if it was scary or hell what ending was it. It was pretty shitty.

All I remember is that there should have been no way kids would be able to throw a rave in the fuckin Paris, France Catacombs. I mean this shit is holy and sacred.

How could this go un-fuckin-detected?

So here is your brief history lesson of the Paris Catacombs via a Lions Gate trailer.

Got all that?

Well on my recent Europalooza, I was able to go to the Catacombs and see first hand this marvel of history. It's true that Paris ran out out of places to bury their dead and it seems millions of bodies and bones ended up here. As I couldn't read French I'm not too familair with the history but look it's a Wikipedia article!

But I must say being in there is spooky as fuckin hell. I waited about an hour and a half to get in because you know decorated bones and being underneath Paris is a pure tourist attraction. Once in, you descend a circular staircase that seems to go on and on.

Once down, tight narrow passages are dimly lit and your are actually walking underneath the city streets of Paris. It's pretty tight and if you're claustrophobic you're gonna have a bad time.

Most of the first few passages are just filled with piles of rocks. Probably tunnels to dig into the actually cemataries. Then shit gets real.

Holy shit does it get real. No flash photography is allowed but it's a pure scene straight out of a horror movie. First up some odd looking stone castle. I like to think this was created by some bored Frenchman who liked hanging out in tunnels.

And then we get to the good stuff. Skulls, bones and more skulls arranged in the most gothic way possible. Seems like the living like playing with the dead in the 1700s.

Oh and its even crazier. Bones piled 6-8 feet high and in the middle are more skulls. God bless these poor souls. You weren't allowed to touch the bones as scary men with flashlights would yell at you in French if you did.

There were endless rooms with skulls and bones arranged in the most disturbing of ways. The fact that you were in a crypt should have made everybody feel uneasy. But alas, this tourist hub had a baby in a stroller, annoying Americans and everybody (including myself) gawking at the skulls and taking pictures with iPhones and cameras.


A part of me wanted to get my rave on.

And on second thought...I wouldn't want to be on Mollies while I was down here. And we conclude with this wall of skulls.

Overall on my one day in Paris, I visited some badass catacombs. My only other experience seeing catacombs was when Indiana Jones found the knight's tomb in Venice Italy in The Last Crusade. I don't know what I was thinking when I headed down there but I knew it would be a helluva sight.

Surely a horror movie could be made about being stuck underneath Paris, in dark Catacombs with unseen forces trying to kill you. But one does not need to make a movie such as this. Seeing real life places that may have been on a National Geographic channel is pretty awesome. I highly recommend it if you find yourself in Paris. Getting out was quite an ordeal in itself. Once you're done hanging out with the dead, you have to walk up another circular staircase that got me winded and dizzy. Truly this is where we Americans fail. Exercise is not our pastime.

You end up  on the other side of Paris and we were a bit lost when we got out. Though you'd think we'd have exited through the gift shop, though this time it was right across the street from us.

The Paris Catacombs are simply spooky as they are mesmerizing. No horror movie could ever get it right. Visit them if you ever get a chance. Just please don't watch the movie.

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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Nightmare Killers 2: Contest Giveaway!

With October fast approaching, it's time we all got our spook on. And what's the best way to do that? A New York City haunted house. The Jaded Viewer and Nightmare Killers 2 have teamed up to do a little giveaway contest.

I have yet to enter the sequel to last year's haunted house but I will be going soon and will post a review soon. In the meantime, to get in the mood for the opening of this notorious NYC haunt on 9/27, The Jaded Viewer in conjunction with Nightmare is giving 1 (ONE) FREE TICKET to this year's haunt.

How do you enter? In either the comments of this post or on the Jaded Viewer Facebook page, write down the following:

1.) Who do you think is the most infamous serial killer in history?
2.) Your name
3.) Your e-mail address

I will then pick a name a name at random and the winner gets one free ticket to Nightmare Killers 2. That's it.

Contest ends October 6th. Good luck! 

**Please note there are Blackout days. The only blackout dates for winners are October 18th and 19th, 25th and 26th and 31st.**

Want more info on Nightmare Killers 2? Check out this awesome linkage!

For a full schedule of performances visit
Tickets for NIGHTMARE: KILLERS2 are $30 - $60 and available at, or at the box office prior to each performance.   


Visit Timothy Haskell’s blog at   

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Saturday, September 07, 2013

Bring on the Elements! Blackout Haunted House Opening Night 9/7/13

It's a bit odd to go to a haunted house (or interactive horror theater in this case) in the first week of September but the day has come. Blackout Haunted House Opening Preview night is today and guess who's first on line?

Yup, clearly jaded viewers I got too excited about this.

It's been a little weird to get into the haunted house hype but while I visited Myrtle Beach, SC a few weeks back I did go to these year round haunted houses: Ripley's Haunted Adventures and Nightmare Haunted House (not to be confused with Nightmare NYC)

Mind you visiting a haunted house in the summer is a little off as it's barely occupied and the haunt usually gives 40%. But it was a thrill to haunt up in August.

So before I write my review of this years Blackout Elements, we'll be giving first impression thoughts (without spoilers or a walkthrough) tonight and tomorrow.

If you want to follow along tonight, follow me on Twitter and on Facebook. I will probably go the Twitter route as pics and possibly Vine videos might be posted.

Who knows what will happen tonight?

Tickets are now on sale for NYC and LA. Check out the trailer below.

Blackout Haunted House NYC 2013 Off Season Haunt Testimonials

Blackout Haunted House Reviews and Walkthroughs

Blackout Haunted House Invite Only, Off Season Spring Haunt Reviews and Walkthroughs

Leave any comments/questions on The Jaded Viewer Facebook Page or on Twitter