So the Piranha 3D Teaser is out. If you haven't seen, you can watch it below. Insano Steve and I talked yesterday on remakes and his thoughts were Hollywood should make remakes on bad movies and not GOOD movies. I agree.Remake Phantasm or Leprechaun or some other crappy movie. But leave the Elm Streets alone.
In any case, Piranha is one that I guess should be remade because....
a.) Nobody saw the original
b.) You can showcase Spring break boobage
c.) Hire decent actors playing rubbery stereotypical characters
d.) See mother fuckin piranhas in a mother fuckin lake
OK here be the trailer.
OK let's start to shred this one with random thoughts shall we?
0:00-0:20
Fake James Cameron 3D PSA is a nice touch. You didn't fool me!
0:23
Boobs!!!
0:24
Is Lake Victoria right by Amity Island?
0:27
Trampoline bouncy boobs!!!
0:30
Gratuitous Eli Roth cameo. Where's your heterosexual lifemate Quentin?
0:32
Cheerleader boobies!!!
0:35
Gratuitous Kawasaki motorcycle product placement
0:39
Why is their an old hag in Spring Break? Die bitch die!!
0:46
Elizabeth Shue is still looking hawt...but nobody is going to listen to you unless you show your boobs.
0:47
Ving Rhames. You ain't know Samuel L.
0:48
Is that a Richard Dreyfus cameo? Dude the lake you want is down the road.
0:55
That's some mutant fuckin piranha...I think its got a laser beams attached to its head
1:02
Listen to Doc Brown...he's smart!!
1:07
Jet ski vs boat (its no zombie vs shark)
1:16
HA ha! I knew those piranha had laser beams attached to their heads. They just caused a boat to explode!
1:22
This shits going to be awesome in 2D!!! Umm I mean 3D!
Thoughts on this one? Please share. I hope the sequel has ill-tempered mutated sea bass. They're more deadly than this weak piranha bullshit.
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I am not all that impressed with it from the teaser. It looks like it could be fun, bu the piranha look so fake, which is bad news for a film about piranha!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't have too much potential but it may be fun... guess we're gonna have to wait and see.
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ReplyDeleteNot high expectations on this one. Obviously they going to see chomping mouths in 3D...do we get to see Girls Gone Wild boobies in 3D too?
ReplyDeleteYour trailer breakdown brought a smile to my lips, Jaded. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteVery funny! Afraid I'm probably still going to see it. I love The Rhames! And boobies are great too. I'm so easily led. Going to hang my head in shame for a bit now.
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