Monday, January 15, 2007

Top 10 Horror/Underground Movies of 2006

10.) The Hills Have Eyes

After seeing Haute Tension at the Museum of the Moving Image a while back and meeting the director Alexander Aja, he told me it this was his next film. I asked him if he was going to do anything different and he told me that Wes Craven told him to make the movie in his own style. That's what Aja does in THHE. The set up is familiar but the payoff is outstanding. Grotestue mutant americana is interspersed with reltentless disturbing imagery. Good survival is always bloody, and Aja makes us see it without the Hollywood PG-13 tag on it.

9.) District B13

This may have come out in 2005, but District B13 is a fun little action flick that makes me think I can go and parkour around NYC. Gibberish plot about nuclear weapons and a cop/thug team up to stop the nuke from going off. Whatever. The stunts are classic here. Chase scenes as the 2 parkourers (?) go climbing, jumping and vaulting over every man made object. Totally excellent. Totally nuts.

8.) Severance

If the Office (British version) collided with Sean of the Dead, you'd get Severance. One of the most hilarious horroromedy flicks that got me laughing out loud. Bunch of office defense contractors go on a wilderness retreat and encounter some're going to have to find out. The sly witty British humor mixed in with oodles of gory and bloody carnage is well done. Bloody well done.

7.) Snakes on a Plane

Without the internet hysteria, nobody would have seen this except me. But what Snakes is really is going back to basics. Forget the plot, just give me when animals attack in a confined area and I am happy as a kid on Christmas. Samuel L. Jackson plays Mr. Cool and the snakes are well...snakes....on drugs. Good Times.

6.) Feast

If Severance was the British horroromedy entry into this list, Feast is the American version. Where else can you find Henry Rollins playing a motivational speaker and bloody thirsty hell creatures boinking. I'll forgive this is a Project Greenlight movie because Krista Allen and the rest of the unknowns gave me a happy movie about killer monsters rampaing through a small town and attacking a bar where we know most of the characters (paper cutouts explained via a killer funny intro) are going to die. Totally gross, very goofy humor and an insane ending that still gives me hope American horror is not dead after all.

5.) Hard Candy

Question: Can you really make a movie about pedophilia and pass it off as a revenge horror movie?
Answer: Yes

David Slade's Hard Candy doesn't just aimlessly go all Kill Bill but delicately takes our heroine Hayley and disects her meticulous calculated revenge upon Jeff in a most intelligent way. There aren't outright scenes of carnage (except for a wee bit piece of unscheduled surgery). Most of the movie are scenes of painstaking conversation between Hayley and Jeff. And these disturbing talks about nothing and everything make the ending totally mindblowing.

4.) Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

Chan-Woo Park's final installment of his Vengeance trilogy isn't as good as Oldboy or Mr. Vengeance but is disturbing and totally magnificent that you downright applaud its precise non chalant feel as you watch it. The characters, the settings and lady vengeance herself Geum-ja Lee are so well done that they make each scene mesmerizing. Of course as in the previous 2 movies, the ending is downright lovely (in that horror sort of way).

3.) Hostel

I hated Eli Roth's Cabin Fever. But I gotta admit, Hostel is a movie designed for the horror fan boy and follows the checklist of making a good horror/splatter movie. Let's go through the list.
Young horny teenagers......check.
Drugs and alcohol......check.
Gratuitous nudity......check.
Relentless gore and splatter.....check.
Plot revealed after 2/3 of the movie that makes the viewer go "oh i get it, that's fucked up"........check.
Ending that just doesn't live up to the entire movie but leaves room for a sequel that opens up this year......check.

You can't deny Hostel's disturbing imagery, ocular trauma and Achille heeling grossness. It almost makes you want to not travel abroad...almost.

2.) Slither

I knew when I saw Slither in the theatre that I was going to love this flick. And it holds firmly to #2 on my list. Spawning off Night of the Creeps and Shivers, it brings back the 80s feel of disgusting creatures infecting human carriers for the 21st century audience. The creatures are slimy and relentless (who cares what they are or why they are here). All that matters is once your infected, you go insane. Nathan Fillion is perfect as the sheriff designated to protect his small town against the parasitic invaders. The ending is so B-movie perfect Peter Jackson would have been proud. So gross, so disgusting, so apalling and over the top, I am proud to have my ticket stub of Slither framed on my wall.

and the best horror movie of 2006 is...................................

1.) The Descent

Without question, The Descent is the best horror movie of 2006. Group of women go sperlunking and all hell breaks loose inside the caves they explore. Natalie Mendoza as Juno steals the show has the pseudo leader who causes tension amongst the group of cave divers try to escape the monstrous cave crawlers. The claustrophobia and relentless darkness are done so eeriley and seemlessly you don't mind scenes that are in complete darkness.
UK ending is waaay better than the US ending and the flick has so many shocks and thrills that as the group goes from point A to point B, the ride is scary as hell. So many good things to say about this flick that by the time I'm done, the inevitable sequel will already be released.

Worst Horror Movies I've seen this year........

Saw 3, Turistas, Final Destination 3, The Hamiltons

Worst Horror Movies everybody agrees were just downright bad.......

Pulse (remake), Stay Alive, The Omen (remake), Black Christmas, The Wicker Man, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, The Grudge 2, When A Stranger Calls, Bloodrayne and plenty more that I shouldn't even take up more space.

The Most Anticiapted Horror/Underground movie of 2007.......


Underground/Cult/Horror Movies that might be decent in 2007........

The Hitcher, Primeval (saw it, was decent), Black Snake Moan, Zodiac, Sunshine, 28 Weeks Later, Hostel 2, Rob Zombie's Halloween, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Blockbuster Movies that will have to be seen in 2007.............

Spiderman 3, Live Free or Die Hard, Transformers, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Simpsons Movie

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