Kill List (Review)

Kill List

Kill List (2012)

Directed by Ben Wheatley

On the surface, Kill List looks to be your standard five and dime crime thriller. Underworld goons doing their trade eliminating threats for $$. But as I thought about the film after watching it, you start seeing the layers underneath Kill List that enable you to see a movie that has more than meets the eye.

Kill List is a film that slowly burns you into a look into the life of a retired hit man and scopes out a world where his past, his present and his future all collide into an orgy of madness. It's an interesting journey seeing a drama, gore soaked slaughter and a Wicker Man-ish horror flick all blended into one. Sure there is a twist at the end and numerous unanswered questions which make you go WTF but it stills hit you harder than a hail of bullets.

What you'll get from Kill List is a character study of a soldier turned assassin who elects to try to live as a normal but it seems PTSD and pure conditioning to kill are not as easy to shut down when you get home. There is pure hell to pay for the sins of your past and it seems mysterious forces want have molded our hit man's world into their own.

Kill List is a solid flick that may seem like Pulp Fiction without the glitz and glamour. And for that it gets high marks for showing me a touch of all the genres I love from the UK.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Eight months after a disastrous job in Kiev left him physically and mentally scarred, ex-soldier turned contract killer, Jay, is pressured by his partner, Gal, into taking a new assignment. As they descend into the dark and disturbing world of the contract, Jay begins to unravel once again - his fear and paranoia sending him deep into the heart of darkness.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

I'm going to break this down via Earth layers. Seems easier that way as far as I'm concerned.

The Crust

Kill List starts off as we see Jay and his Swedish wife Shel arguing about money. It seems Jay is a retired ex soldier with tours of Iraq who came back and went all crime underworld . We meet his friend and partner Gal and during a dinner party they talk about their lives, a past botched job and the life they now lead.

Clearly Wheatley uses this first Act to make us care for Jay and Gal and their alpha male shenanigans. Jay and Shel have a son and we see his fatherly side as well as Mr. Husband. Both Jay (Neil Maskell) and Shel (MyAnna Buring) have an uneasy relationship and you can see the scars Jay has been dealing with bubbling up. He's angry and all his instincts have have been dulled by being in this normal life.

Both Maskell and Buring give off good chemistry as a husband and wife who know they have had issues as they both transition to normals (Shel knows Jay is a hit man which is unique). Michael Smiley as Gal is still struggling to go normal but it seems as we move on the the list, we'll see who still has the instincts to do the job.

The Mantle

As both Jay and Gal fulfill their assignments, Jay slowly descents into what he was in the past. Before they embark on the kill, they stake out their victims finding in their now grey moral world reasons to take them out. The kills involving a Priest (highlighted in big white text), a Librarian are dastardly brutal. They slowly start out as professionals but it seems as Jay's scars get reopened (allegor-ized by a inflicted slice on his hand) he's going towards the deep end.

It begs the question can a soldier or even a hit man just turn off "their switch" when they retire? Is it just that easy to do? Kill List says no and I agree. Jay who seemed to be a brutal killer back in the day is as vicious when he gets a taste for it again. Each of the victims on "the list" are moral embodiments to stop him from going back to his killing ways. A priest representing morality, a librarian representing logic and a government official representing the law. Jay ignores all of this and slaughters them all.

The Core

The final scenes with the final kill go into weird Wicker Man territory. Everybody seems to have been played and characters who looked idle appear to be more sinister. A action sequence through a tunnel is mesmerzingly claustrophobic and vicious. These last scenes are very peculiar whipping in survival horror with bizarre rituals. It' s possibly fitting Jay confronts organized chaos as his final test. Having been now conditioned into a cold blooded killer/soldier, his instincts kick in and he becomes the embodiment of a savage.

Could we have gotten a better explanation of the "game" being played? Final answers on why characters actions became oddly weird? Sure but Whealtey seems to want us to fill in the holes which is fine with me.

Kill List gets a barely 3 spinkicks from me for taking me on a long journey of how easily a man can be stripped of his normal suit and launched into a naked and vicious savage. That's what you should take away from Kill List.

Nude-ipedia

Nada

Gore-ipedia

Hammer to the head trauma
Gunshots to the head
Torture trauma
Sliced bowel trauma

WTF moment

The twist ending

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Kill List is available on VOD and on Amazon Instant Video. It comes out in theaters on February 3rd.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2012 horror movies, british horror, crime thriller, gore, indie film, indie horror, twist ending, UK horror

Attack the Block (Review)

Attack the Block

Attack the Block (2011)

Directed by Joe Cornish

The first thing I noticed about Attack the Block is the dialogue. British ghetto younglings have a speech all their own and it's really mesmerizing to hear. Lots of "Get me?" and "love" and "Believe!". At times, I had no idea what the fuck they were saying. But that's the fascination right?

I know all the supposed "bad" neighborhoods in NYC. But I've been getting the feeling I should never set foot in Brixton in south London if I ever visit. Get these kids in a movie theater and shit gets loud (oh no he didn't go there!) Lots of ghetto kids go see a horror flick and will yell shit at the screen saying if faced in the same situation with the killah they'd "fuck that suckah up!" (they're words I cleaned up a bit) The beauty of Attack the Block is now we get to see these same tough thugs battle hairy, glowy teeth but blind alien monsters and see if they're all just talk.

Attack the Block is a mix of a thugged up Goonies meets Gremlins and it's all freakin awesome. Blending a mix of comedy, monster mayhem, action-palooza and some class warfare "MESSAGE!!" it's a slice of fun fun fun. The unlikely criminal tykes we bloody fuckin hate somehow grow up, learn a lesson and gain respect the hard way. Throw in some neato sci-fi monsters, a few splatter and gore and quick witted pop culture references rapid firing at a mile a minute and it's all the fun you'll have in 90 minutes.

Quick rehashed plot revolves around a thug of youths led by Moses who mug Sam a girl who lives in the projects (is that what they call em in London?). Soon our ragtag group of misfits (3 blacks, 1 white boy, Sam, pot smoker Brewis) are running and dodging these reject monsters from Star Wars. Aided by Nick Frost and also on the run from a kingpin drug dealer, the block is all in chaos in this one night.

The action scenes are well executed. The kids have bikes, scooters to aid in their escapes and they've got the weapons and use em. Samurai swords, knives and fireworks (the dangerous kind) all come into play and shit gets real fast for them. But these same kids, supposedly tough as nails get scared too. It's this balance in characters that makes them feel human and empathetic. The fact they know the choices they make have consequences is a theme throughout. Lots of good suspense and wicked kills are littered throughout ATB and director Joe Cornish paces it nicely.

He also puts in great scenes of funny jampacked with British references. They call the monsters gollums (LOTR) and Dobbies (HP) and it breaks the tension to have them be all kids in such an adult situation. Any reference to video games will give me a chuckle.

Sure it's a bit silly at times and the monsters aren't very memorable as they should be, but it's forgivable. Clearly we get racial overtones and "the feds" are willing to go all Rodney King on any black youth we see. I mean after seeing the shit that went down during the London riots (that video of the foreign exchange kid getting jumped comes to mind) you really want to hate these brothas from south London in real life and in this movie. But it's all about the choices they make and here they make the right ones.

Attack the Block is a sci-fi kid adventure and twisting the protagonists around makes it worthwhile. You'll rarely see a film that takes the outrageous cheesiness of furry alien monsters and blend it in with thug life. It's a one of a kind movie, one with charm and scares.

Believe.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, aliens, british comedy, british horror, gangsta movies, independent cinema, indie film, sci-fi, UK horror

Exam (Review)

Exam

Exam (2010)

Directed by Stuart Hazeldine

Exam is not a horror flick but more of a psychological thriller. The easy comparison is to say its one of those trapped in one room with some offbeat characters type movie. Like Cube, The Killing Room and others it takes that one setting gimmick and milks it for all its worth.

I have to say I liked it.

When you have one of these one room movies, your characters have to be very interesting. And we get a mish mash of characters from the angry Brit to the muttering Frenchman.

The movie is like the Apprentice but with a more insanity and yet somewhat futuristic feel. The candidates try to decipher what the question may be and do everything they can to solve the final test riddle.

I'm not describing it well so you can read the plot below.

Eight talented candidates have reached the final stage of selection to join the ranks of a mysterious and powerful corporation. Entering a windowless room, where an armed guard keeps watch, they are given 80 minutes to answer one simple question.

The invigilator outlines three very specific rules that they must obey – and if they don't, they will be disqualified:

1. They must not speak to the invigilator or the guard.
2. They must not spoil their papers.
3. They must not leave the room.

The invigilator starts the clock and leaves.The candidates turn over their question papers, only to find that they are completely blank.

Tensions rise as the clock counts down to zero, and each candidate must decide how far they are prepared to go to win the ultimate job.

So who are these candidates?

We got a conniving Brit, a brotha, a Middle Eastern looking dude, a hot blonde, a brunette psych major, an Asian hottie and a muttering Frenchman.

Suffice it to say the Brit takes charge and starts to try to figure out what the question and answer is. Lots of bickering and info is exchanged between all the parties and they try several different methods to see if their papers hold the question.

But suffice it to say, it's filled with lots of old reliable reality show cliche antics, characters and double and triple twists. Exam makes you pay attention to every syllable each character utters, makes you notice the room they are in and has some high tense suspense scenes that leave you on edge.

It's like a stage play in form and creates a mythos pretty quickly. Good solid flick that had me go "Ah Ha!"at the end. Sometimes it's those type of flicks that you need to break the monotony of a horror-thon.

Rating:
1/2

Categories: 2010 horror dvd, 2010 horror movies, british horror, independent cinema, indepentent horror, the killing room, thriller

Temptation (Review)

Temptation

Temptation (2009)

Directed by Catherine Taylor

The UK too can churn out its own versions of DHARMA Initiative "GENERIC LESBIAN VAMPIRE FILM". The perfect example is Temptation, which plays out like a bad modern day Anne Rice novel.

All the cliches are here and they follow a Macarena beat down to the super cliched very obvious ending.

If I wanted my fix of a lesbian vampire film, I'd watch anything from Jess Franco. But you've gotta cash in on the vampire craze which is still alive and kickin. True Blood, Let the Right One In, Daybreakers and *gasp* Twilight to keep you tuned into the 24/7 convenience store that is vampire. They should have read my Vampire Rules 101.

At least those all have clever premises. Temptation has hot British chicks with red contact lenses and plastic dollar bin fangs.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Catherine Taylor's seductive and tantalizing vampire tale unleashes an onslaught of bloody killings, sexual excess and vampiric desire set against a lush, colorful London night life of swinging singles and nocturnal predators. Beautiful, young professional Isabel (Caroline Haines) is out on the town with friends. One too many is the least of her problems when she is saved from the clutches of a serial rapist by a centuries-old, ruthless but gorgeous vampire, Aurelie (Rachel Waters) - but at what cost.

Now under Aurelie's spell and with an intensifying taste for blood, Isabel has only 48 hours to decide whether to give in to her lustful and crimson cravings or end it all before it's too late. Temptation brings a fresh and new look to the vampire genre with atmosphere, sensuality and filmmaking bravado.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

No extensive review here. Let's just list vampire cliches ok?

• Our protagonist? Semi hot British blonde
  
• Let's begin the movie at the end...then have a finale where we began the movie!
• Cabbie on passenger rape violence
• A French vampire with fiery red hair
• Rapid fire music video edits and cuts
• Flashbacks to things we just saw 2 minutes ago!
• Vampire suckage
• Dreams of the vamp who made you in 80s music video fade montages
• Hmmm I can't seem to eat regular food and the sunlight hurts me...it must be that time of the month
• Gratuitous black and white cop investigation
• The douchebag boyfriend that becomes the first meal
• Nightclubs with burlesque and over elaborate dance numbers
• Hot, sexy vampire vixens making meals of the clientele
• Flashback to 1700s vampire origins
• More flashbacks to things we saw 1 minute ago!
• More lesbian vampire nekkidness and kissing
• Why is it nobody believes in vampires in vampire movies?
• The old debate: should I be a vampire or get a spontaneous combustion tan?
• Let's kill the vamp that sired me because I'm a "good vampire with a heart"
• Look who's a vampire too supposed twist ending!

Temptation is generic as they come in this super duper sub sub sub genre of vampire films. I really can't get into the same old story.

I love the sub genre of vampire films but if you don't do anything different, you FAIL. This story has been done to death and either you twist the Bram Stoker's vamps into something creative or you make a zombie film.

On second thought, please don't.

Gore-ipedia

Sliced throats
Blood oozage
Knife trauma
Neck trauma

Nude-ipedia

Various quick cuts of boobies but none from our vampyro lesbos

WTF moment

Those flashbacks of things we saw 6 seconds ago

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

If you want to get your vampyro lesbos on, Temptation is your quick fix. It's now on DVD via Vicious Circle Films from Breaking Glass Pictures. What can I say? This is a movie that I didn't want to sink my teeth into. (classic cliche pun...thank you thank you)

Rating:
Check out the trailer below.

Categories: british horror, lesbians, nightmare vampires, vampires

After Dark Horrorfest 4: The Reeds (Review)

As I mentioned before, I'm reviewing all the After Dark Horrorfest 4 movies on UGO.com. I've made up a hub for all my reviews. Keep checking back as it will be updated once the reviews go live on UGO.com.

Here's a little excerpt from my review of The Reeds.

"The one thing I’ll say about The Reeds is, well it had actual planty like reeds. As for the movie itself, it’s a muddy boggy creek. In other words, a complete mess."

Read the rest of the review by heading to UGO.com.

Categories: after dark, after dark horrorfest 2010, after dark horrorfest 4, after dark horrorfest boxset, british horror, horrorfest, miss horrorfest

Colin (Trailer)

I first read about Colin and it's $70 shoestring budget on CNN which has a interesting article about the film and its UK director Marc Price. Now that its premiered at Cannes and is getting hype among the horror-sphere I am intrigued by the set up.

It's a zombie film from the zombie's point of view.

Now's that's different. But on the proverbial flipside of the coin is the thing I hate the most. From what I read it's got that Blair Witch/Cloverfield point of view shaky cam also. Arghhh.

A movie POV where we are not tagging along with survivors sounds interesting to a point. I'll have to check this out when it gets distributed. You can check out the trailer below.

Categories: british horror, cannes, colin, colin trailer, diary of the dead, homeless zombies, zombies, zombies pov

The Broken (Review)

The Broken

The Broken (2008)

Directed by Sean Ellis

I saw the trailer for Sean Ellis Cashback but never saw the movie. It does look really cool.

So instead I saw The Broken. Part of the After Dark Horrorfest flicks.

I can understand After Dark films wanted to have a collection of different horror subgenres to be part of its 8 films to die for.

So what we get here is an anti-gorehound movie for the masses. Very tension filled, suspense driven, M. Knight endingly BORING SNOOZE-A-RAMA.

The movie is filled with moments of nothingness. Absolutely nothing. By nothing of course I mean scene after scene of filler. When a movie starts to flashback to something that happened 15 minutes ago showcasing something dreamlike, you know you're in trouble.

In addition to that ZZZZ-fest on the eyes, all we see is Lena Headey aimlessly walking from one place to another trying to be scared (or Ellis trying to scare us). Which of course isn't scary at all.

All this adds up to a meta-horror universe of Poe and Barker like stories that work out to probably be a good read but makes a horrible movie.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

On a busy street in London, Gina thinks she sees herself drive past in her own car. Stunned by this strange event, Gina follows the mystery woman up to her apartment. From here, events take an eerie turn for the worse until Gina's awareness slides from solid reality into a world that will haunt more than just her nightmares.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The beginning of a movie has to set up everything so the ending will pay off. But when the set up is long and arduous and ridiculously pointless, you begin to even wonder if the pay off will be worth it.

The Broken's beginning and middle are so broken (pun so fuckin intended) that by the time you get to the "AH HA!" ending, you don't give 2 shits.

Lena Headey (she's actually British you Sarah Connor fans!) plays a radiologist in London. Her family/friends includes:

1.) Her Dad (he's American)
2.) Typical brother dude
3.) Brother's girlfriend
4.) Her boyfriend, some French dude

She sees somebody that resembles herself, we join Gina on figuring out WTF is going on. Soon she starts noticing odd things (aka more nothingness) and a lot of broken mirrors (even more nothingness).

Her family starts to get killed off by their own set of dopplegangers and soon she's next on the hit list.

Suffice it to say, if I kept going I'd probably give away too much.

For a 90 minute movie, it felt like 100 years. Effective movies that build suspense and make the audience hooked to their seats give their audience some idea of what the hell is going on. At no point in the Broken did I get that.

Sure, I was speculating on a wide variety of what was stalking Gina. Was it......

1.) Vampires?
2.) Time traveling assassins?
3.) Evil Dopplegangers?
4.) Ghosts?
5.) Evil Doppleganger, vampire ghost, time traveling assassins?

One of those is true by the way. But by the end, I didn't really care. Usually, I'll IMDB Trivia a movie or Wikipedia or Google to get more info.

There was no way I was gonna give this movie too much of my brain power.

Here are a few fun facts from The Broken:

1.) Times somebody takes a shower: 3
2.) Times we see Lena Headey nude: 1 (boobies!)
3.) Times we see a fake looking crash test dummy in a dreamlike car accident: 4
4.) Times we see the London Underground: 2
5.) Times we see a broken mirror: too many to count

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Suffocationand blunt trauma
Mouth trauma
Vehicular crash test dummy trauma

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

Lena Headey gets nude!!! (only boobies and walking around nakedness)
British girl gets naked

WTF moment

The ending that I saw coming a billion light years away

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I don't discriminate in my horror movies. I am a big gorehound but I also dig the psychological horror, the Mist-like horror films that are all about suspense.

But this really was a big snoozefest and if it wasn't seeing Lena Headey nude, this would have been totally pointless.

Be sure to check out the used DVD bin at your Walmart. This is where you will find the Broken.


Rating:
The Trailer






Tags:
after dark horrorfest, after dark horrorfest 2009 , lena headey nude , 8 films to die for, horrorfest, after dark horrorfest 2009 trailers, gratuitous nudity, horror movies of 2009, the broken,the broken review

Categories: after dark horrorfest 2009, after dark horrorfest 2009 reviews, after dark horrorfest 3, british horror, doppleganger, lena headey, lena headey naked, lena headey nude, the broken, the broken review