At one point on this site I was going to replace the Van Damme spin kicks rating system with Tony Jaa elbows to the head. I was digging Ong Bak and all the Jaa muy thai action paloozas he was making. I figured the system should evolve.
Then The Raid: Redemption came out and Iko Uwais was bashing heads and taking on one million thugs to 1 and that would mean an update to the rating logo. I'm keeping it JVCD spin kicks for now because he's fighting MS-13.
Triple Threat has been described as The Expendables of martial action stars. The roster is insane. Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais, Tiger Chen, Scott Adkins, Michael Jai White and JeeJa Yanin.
Could the hype live up to the movie?
You betcha.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
A hit contract is taken out on a billionaires daughter intent on bringing down a major crime syndicate. A down and out team of mercenaries must take on a group of professional assassins and stop them before they kill their target.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
Triple Threat is the action equivalent of the Golden State Warriors vs Houston Rockets. A flick with serious star power that's going to racked up a mountain of action points on a massive scale. Just like seeing a Steph Curry vs James Harden match up, the movie delivers you 1 on 1 and 1 on 2 match ups of the world's biggest martial arts action stars fighting against each other.
Do you wanna see Chen vs Iko? How about Adkins vs Jaa? MJW vs Iko? Iko vs Yanin? You're going to see these and more. The dream match ups are made and they deliver. It's a ballet of choreographed punches and kicks, suped up chase scenes and the carnage of the best vs the best. You almost have to feel sorry for the redshirts and low level henchmen and security who tried to stop all of them.
There are some catch our breath parts that break up the action craziness. Chen, Jaa and Celina Jade, the daughter with the contract on her head have some light hearted moments. On the other side, MJW, Adkins and Iko play mercenary antagonists with a twist. These scenes are mostly filler as you wait for the final showdowns.
The most underrated star in the mix is Adkins. He's been in a shitload of action movies and we all know who he is but somehow he still gets over looked even in a sick ensemble like this one. He holds in own as be battles Jaa, Chen and Uwais. Adkins plays an evil mercenary to a tee and elevates the other all stars during their 1 on 1s. It's why Triple Threat reaches critical awesomeness.
As much as the flick delivers its triple threat, a part of me really wanted to see one of the 3 good guys be on the opposite end. What would a Jaa vs Uwais extended action scene look like? You get a glimpse of that in an earlier scene but the WWE definition of a triple threat match is 3 guys fighting each other. Oh what could have been.
My only other gripe is all the random gun violence that seemed uneccessary. You have the top action stars on the fuckin planet and they are shooting at each other with AR-15s. Why would you not take advantage of this?
WTF moment
JeeJa's demise
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
Triple Threat delivers all the elbows to the head, upside down spin kicks and martial arts goodness you want. Instead of Jaa or Uwais battling easily dispatched henchmen, seeing the biggest action stars of today battle each other is a sight to behold.
You'll get your Triple Threat team up and honestly they were never in trouble. They won in a clean sweep.
OMG. You so have to watch the trailer below of the new movie from action choreographer Panna Rittikrai. He is the man responsible for those insane action stunts, muy thai fights and crazy battles from Ong Bak to many other action stunts.
His stunt team is now world renown and with Tony Jaa off at a monastery (seriously, I'm not kidding), there are quite a few budding action stars that want to make a name for themselves. But they're all going to make an audition in Bangkok Knockout which looks fuckin awesome.
Watch it now.
You done?
Wait did I just see the following:
A dude jump over a burning car?
A burning dude smash through a wall?
A dude get by a car going 100 mph?
A couple of dudes getting run over by a car?
A guy get run over by a motorcycle?
A fight scene take place at the bottom of a moving truck?
Flying backwards kicks?
Evil American warlord?
A dude avoiding a car by spinning?
A flying knee kick to the throat?
A backward scissors kick?
Simultaneous leap frog kicks?
Flying bike kicks?
Bangkok Knockout comes out in Thailand on December 10, 2010.Magnolia Pictures has picked up the film for US distribution. No stateside release date announced yet.
OK what do you think? Are you freakin excited? Well I am. This looks awesome.
Move over Tony Jaa. There's a new kick ass fighter that makes you look like Daniel-son. And it's not a dude.
JeeJa Yanin sophmore effort after her mega awesome Chocolate lives up to the hype and more. Simply more WTF plot, more zany bad guys and more henchmen to dispose of.
This movie has it all.
Aside from the goofy plot revolving bottled tears (seriously, I'm not kidding) and some overly melodramatic cut scenes the movie has to be graded on the fight scenes alone. Plots in muay thai action are like dialogue in porn, it's totally irrelevant. I mean that's how I graded Chocolate and its really what you want to know right?
Let me just say this. Every time I see Thai action, I usually think I've seen it all and then somehow to my surprise I see something totally jaw dropping. Limtrakul and this crew create elaborate settings to hold massive, super awesomely choreographed fight scenes that are like dancing to violence. It's violent ballet and its fuckin beautiful.
Raging Phoenix is violent poetry and Yanin is an action ballerina. You will see stunts, gymnasticy flips and severe elbows and knees to the head. And it's a work of art. This is hardcore, uncensored action porn my good jaded viewers.
And its got a beat! Boring Plot-O-Matic
Depressed socialite Deu (Jija Yanin) picks fights and plays the drums in a rock band. One drunken night, a mysterious woman and tranvestite ambush Deu in a garage, but she gets rescued by Sanim (Kazu Patrick Tang) and his crew of Muay Thai-savvy B-Boys. From Sanim, Deu learns about a kidnapping ring that targets special girls like herself and Sanim's bride, who disappeared on their wedding day. Determined to get revenge, Deu trains hard in martial arts under Sanim to prepare for the ultimate fight.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
This is actually the first movie where we hear JeeJa Yanin speak as she played a mute Jaa disciple in Chocolate. Thai-logue is very squeaky to say the least but Yanin in her acting performance plays the damsel then the slayer in a nice rounded performance. Her crew, consisting of Sanim, "The Leader", "The Joker", "The Drunk" and "The Loner" are a crew bent on dismantling the evil women kidnapping ring who like I said before kidnap women who have a certain odor. Once they kidnap these smelly women, they extract their tears (I'm not kidding!!!).
OK now that we got that out of the way, let's get to the fight scene ratings. I've given these fight scenes unique names describing why the fight scene is taking place and my rating (out of a scale of 1-4 spinkicks....obviously!). Don't like it? I'll elbow you in the head.
"Save the damsel"
The opening fight scene is quite awesome. Deu who is a noob is saved by Sanim as he fights off the lowe tier henchmen. Dudes on 2 legged pogo sticks with razors attached to em attack Deu as he fights em off. Lots of kicks to the head and pure athleticism.
Rating: 2 1/2 spins (because JeeJa Yanin didn't take part yet)
"You got Served"
Not 10 minutes later do we have another round of henchmen attack our drunk breakdancing crew in their hideout. Solid shit here. Break dancing, hip hop muy thai action-o-graphy. Totally freakin insane. I have never seen dudes breakdance while kicking and punching minium wage henchmen. They even pulled off tag team shit flipping JeeJa into kicks and punches. Some solid comic relief as well.
Rating: 3 spins
Gratuitous training montage!!!
After being rescued, Deu learns the way of the drunken Muy Thai martial arts. It's an ode to Jackie Chan's Drunken Master and serious boozing results in serious ass kicking. Very light hearted, very athletic. Even the montage had me seeing serious skill and gymnastic awe and wonder.
"Girls just wanna have fun"
Deu goes out on her own to show off her skills. She easily disposes of some badly trained henchmen with some awesome high flying kicks and choreographed blocks and counters. Good times.
Rating: 3 spins
"The Respect"
Deu takes on "The Loner" in a non romantic, waves pounding beach action scene. Deu seriously wins in a shutout. Beautifully shot, some serious counters and high flying kick-assery. The team gets united and forms Voltron. All 5 team members get ready to take on the uber evil kidnapping crew.
Rating: 2 spins "The Hideout"
Using Deu as bait, our Thai Force Five find the not so secret hideout of the kidnappers. They've got some heavy duty mini bosses who are tough as shit. One is a red haired dude and the other is a old man master kinda guy.
Everybody is going nuts, punches are flying and our crew is getting their asses kicked. All looks doomed for our team.
Rating: 3 spins
"The Teaser"
I call this "The Teaser" because this is a fight scene with our main boss Roontawan (she's the Asia Pacific Woman Bodybuilding Champion...no seriously). Crazy looking boss, heavily built and she can be lethal. Sanim and Deu use some tag team shit but that doesn't work at all. I should also mention Sanim is there to save is fiancee who got kidnapped.
Rating: No rating as this is just a teaser to the next scene.
"The Bridges"
And we get one of the best fight scene in the entire movie. Taking place on all creaky Temple of Doom like wooden bridges, our hero and heroine battle it out against Boss Lady. Serious rope flipping, duck and cover and awesome counters. Even tag team shit comes at a mile a minute. Totally insano stuff here...pure action ballet to the uber max.
When you think our heroes have won, you'll be shocked to see what happens.
Rating: 3 1/2 spins
"The Catfight"
After our other crew get their asses kicked, its up to Deu to step it up (get it!!!). Our Thai Force Five are badly beaten, Muscular Boss Lady looks to have won but Deu won't give in. Quick montage of Sanim, her training and those poor kidnapped women...she knows what she needs to do to get the strength she needs to defeat evil HGH Boss Lady.
She drinks her spinach tears!!!!
This leads to an easy ass kicking off the mini bosses and sets up the ultimate muy thai catfight. This has gotta be the best catfight action scene evaaaaaaaaaaaaar!!!!!!
Both get some serious shots in. Elbows are a flying, kicks are connecting and both women are eating floor. But Deu goes ballistic and takes care of business. I fell in love with JeeJa Yanin as she elbowed and kneed 'roided up Boss Lady in the face. Some reverse kicks and a spectacular finishing maneuver make this a happy ending.
Sanim is played by Kazoo, a TRICKZ martial arts champion from France. Thai B-Boys, some awesomely trained stuntmen and the hot JeeJa Yanin make Raging Phoenix a Must See film. If your tired of the boring American action films that rely on *yawn* guns and explosions, then hit up the alternative that is Thai action cinema.
JeeJa Yanin is clearly the cute action slayer and whatever her next film is, its going to be filled with the action you clearly paid to see. She's Tony Jaa with boobs and their really is nothing sexier than seeing a women elbow and knee somebody in the face. That's fuckin hawt.
Nude-ipedia
It's action porn, not regular porn
Gore-ipedia
This is not the gore you are looking for.
WTF moment
The final scene
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
I gave Chocolate 4 spinkicks. I'm giving Raging Phoenix 3 and a half. That's not to say Chocolate is better, but at the time I had never seen anything like Chocolate before. The movie has a run time of 1 hour and 50 minutes (I know right?) and some of the movie is filled with melodramaticy moments which make the movie longer than it should be.
But damn those fight scenes are awesome.
(Shhhhh the movie on YouTube right now, so you can actually watch it)
It's a happy fun time watching Raging Phoenix. I guarantee.
Rating:
1/2
Check out one of the fight scenes below.
This is a stunt show demonstration from a Thai TV show (funny stuff)
The original Ong Bak was super duper awesome. Ong Bak 2 was awesome. With Ong Bak 3, it's hard to know what to think. But what you can count on is Tony Jaa jumping on elephants and kneeing and elbowing people in the face. So that's gotta be good right?
Let's get this out of the way first. This is a pseudo sequel to the smash and bash that is Ong Bak. Got that?
Let's also get this out of the way too.
Thailand is still the king of action cinema for now. Stunt-a-palooza, muy thai kneeing and elbowing and just rampant 1-2-3 punches. Sick shit all around.
I'm not a big fan of period piece action cinema. Whenever some Chinese or Japanese movie is set in the past, I get bored. I like my action in the present day, where stunts are performed in an urban setting, parkour becomes commonplace and a final scene can play out on the side of a fuckin building.
So you can see my dilemma after having watched Ong Bak 2?
The simple review is this. The historical ploppity plot is a yawn but the stunts and the actionography is fuckin fantastic and the stunts as always are awesome the magnificent.
You still want a review.....arghhh ok. Boring Plot-O-Matic
Set in the regal times of King Naresuan, Tien (Tony Jaa) is a man who was born into nobility but had it stripped from him after his parents were brutally murdered. During his childhood Tien learned Khon, a form of dance which is usually reserved for royalty. Although he didn't know it yet, Khon would later prove to be an invaluable aide to him. After seeing his parents murdered at the tender age of 10, Tien is forced to live on the streets where he is eventually captured by a group of thieves who take him in and teach him how to steal and fight.
Tien's expertise as a thief and fighter grows and it isn't long before he is made head thief. Then Tien sees something that makes his stomach churn. A competition is being held to find the best knights to serve under the very man who had killed Tien's parents all those years ago. Tien passes the tests easily and is made Lord Rachasana's 2nd Knight. Now, he has his opportunity to strike but he will have to use all his skill and ingenuity if he is going to get his revenge on the man who killed his parents.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
Read the plot above because I'm not going to talk about it anymore. Let's get to the action scenes shall we?
1.) Random medieval army vs army carnage
Slyly put into the sword on sword and bow and arrow battles is CGI blood. You know the one...that fake "300" CGI blood. I do not like this and there was way too much of it during the fight scenes.
However, good crazy choreographed action-rama when 2 battle armies go mano y mano is never a bore.
2.) The Elephant Scene
Tony Jaa has always tried to top his stunts and in this one he balances off a pack of wild rampaging elephants than does a sick backwards flip off its trunk. Totally sick...very nice.
3.) The training montage plus SAT Pirate tests scene
Jaa has to pass 3 tests to become the man of the pirates gang.
a.) Beat some schmuck with a sword b.) Beat some schmuck with his muy thai c.) Beat some schmuck with everything he's got in his arsenal
Suffice it to say he does.
4.) Tien's Uber Revenge Scene
Jaa's is in full revenge mode using Pacquiao like speed and lightning quick martially arts to dispense of the people who fucked up his village. Tons of different weapons are used, crazy numchucks, swords, that rope with the rock at the end of it (what's that called?) and plain old bare fists and legs.
The scene blows by so quickly if you blink you may have missed something unfuckinbelievable.
5.) The Ending is 20 -30 minutes of action porn
Seriously...its like he exploded and went completely nuts. Jaa has all the cylinders working. Guys are coming at him left and right and he's disposing of them like he's blowing his nose. It's Jaa vs an army of 300. Slice and dice, punch and crunch. Jaa is kicking ass so fast its a ballet of brutality. A battle on top of an elephant made my mouth stay open for a good 10 seconds.
It's great choreographed insanity and it's pretty fun to watch.
The ending leaves a soon to be sequel ready to be filmed. All in all, a good solid flick. Though it didn't have the magic of the first Ong Bak. The original had humor, a very funny motivational plot device and muy thai-ing that went off the radar.
Ong Bak 2 had none of that. But that's ok. It's like getting psyched up for your favorite dish and it not living up to your expectations. But it's still satisfying.
Gore-ipedia/Nude-ipedia
Nada. More like one big sausage factory but with flying spinkicks.
WTF moment That crazy elephant back flick
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
Ong Bak 3 was greenlit and its suppose to start filming at the end of this year. Hollywood has been itching to get Tony Jaa to Hollywood. Please don't stick him in a buddy cop movie...fuckin Hollycrap.
Ong Bak 2 is your fix for all that is the uber martial arts action genre has to offer. If you can keep awake during the pointless plot pushing the action scenes do not disappoint.
Somehow they need to tie this flick and part 3 to the original. Maybe that head in the first movie is Tien's head.
Yeah that make sense. Hmm maybe not. Oh fuck it. Just knee kick somebody in the head please.
If the trailer is any indication of the martial arts chaos that will ensue in this movie, I am fuckin psyched. Lots of choreographed stunts and fight scenes that may have you going Ong what?
The new style is called Silat. Yeah I know, I haven't even heard of this martial arts form myself. But it looks mega fuckin instense.
Prachya Pinkaew, the director of awesome-rific films Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong , is the reigning king of action cinema.
And Chocolate again shows why guns and shootouts are fuckin overrated.
It's been a while since a full out martial arts flick totally blew me away.
JeeJa Yanin is breathtaking as Zen, an autistic girl who accumulates her martial arts skills by watching who else...Tony Jaa. Her muay thai skills are unfuckinbelievable and as always, there are no stunt doubles and all the action stunts you see are as is. The outtakes are at the end.
Fuck the plot and any character development. It's totally irrelelevant. What you came here to see is non stop muay thai choreography at its finest. This is vintage Jackie Chan (ala Police Story) with stunts, jumps, flips and the backround as weaponry.
An autistic woman with powerful martial art skills looks to settle her ailing mother's debts by seeking out the ruthless gangs that owe her family money.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
OK. The plot above is why all these elaborate fight scenes develop. Zen and her cousin need money to help her mom buy badly needed medicine. They first use Zen's autistic skills via a ball toss exhibition. But they know they need more cash so they seek out the local gang owned businesses that owe her mom money. This soon ticks off the crime overlord and soon he's on their tail.
Zen also loves chocolate M&M's (hence the title), loves her Teddy Bear and has a fear of flies. This all comes into play during whats to play out.
But really that was all irrelevant.
For this review, for all intended purposes, is to grade each of the fight scenes on a number grade from 1 to 10 with 1 being shitty to 10 being fuckin awesome.
So let's get started.
1.) Hoodrats fight scene
Some teenage hoodrats test Zen's catching skills with a knife. She then uses an arsenal of mimicked Tony Jaa moves to go all Ong Bak on them. This was 18 minutes in and you get a good taste of whats to come. Like some chicken wings as an appetizer. You know it's going to get better.
Rating - 6.0
2.) Ice Factory fight scene
After a anime moment of clarity and 33 minutes in, we get the ice factory fight scene. Wow. Totally awesome. Zen shows off her mega lightning kicks and disposes of henchman without a sweat. Blocks of ice can't stop our little Zen.
Rating - 7.5
3.) Warehouse fight scene
38 minutes in, Zen is in full effect. She's using the warehouse as a weapon of mass destruction. Slipping in through tight spots and using lockers, chairs and cardboard boxes as a playground of weaponry, it's a beautiful thing to watch.
Spinkicks, swipe kicks, flying backward spin kicks, flying splits and a few comedy kicks to boot. And the climax is a slide under a glass table that only Zen could pull off. FUCK YEAH!!! Poor henchman. Why do they keep trying?
Rating - 8.0
4.) Meat Factory/Butchery fight scene
Does Zen have a weakness? Well remember that fear of flies? Well Houston, we have a problem. But thanks to her cousin whose there with a electronic fly swatter, problem solved.
45 minutes in, we are going to see meat cleavers and knives and a spinkick-palooza. Never has a butchery ever been so critical to some ass kicking. A few sporadic funny ha ha's during the fight scene with some elbows to the head make this one of the most entertaining fight scenes ever. The stunt team is so critical to the action. They are the one's getting hit and they are getting hit really fuckin hard. Kudos to them.
Rating - 8.0
5.) Rooftop restaurant fight scene (with Mini boss #1!)
Let's just list some fragmented action highlights. Elbows through the head. Knees to the face. Some acrobatic kicks to the face. A fight scene that takes place with Zen crouched down under some pipes. All this climaxes to a knee to the head that is without a doubt the best I've ever seen.
Rating - 9.0
6.) Restaurant dojo fight scene
No holds barred as we get an onslaught of henchman for Zen to kick the shit out off. This is muay thai action at its finest. All the kicks and elbows and punches are perfectly timed. The flips and jumps all choreographed without any flaws. 360 spinkicks to the back of of the head. Just beautiful. A knee to the face in awesome-rific slo mo. Oh yeah.
And we're not even done!!!
Because the next scene is probably the most politically incorrect thing you'll ever see in an action movie. BUT WHO FUCKIN CARES!!! IT'S FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!
BIG SPOILER BELOW!!!!
Zen has to face off against the crime lord's biggest weapon yet. An autistic mini boss #2!!!!
This dude in glasses and an Adidas track suit has some autism too and he's as spazzy as can be. Plus he's got this breakdancing muay thai style she's never seen. Zen gets her ass kicked but she uses her snapshot focused brain to mimic her enemy. Soon she's spazzing and kicking mini boss #2 unconcious. The finishing move is just totally unbelievable. Bless all stunt wire work!!!
You have see this to believe it. SO AWESOME I THINK I WET MYSELF.
END BIG SPOILER!!!!
But it's not over yet. We get a samurai sword-palooza and soon Zen has snapshot her dad's moves to eliminate this threat.
Which then leads too...........
Rating - 9.5
7.) Side of the building fight scene(FINAL BOSS SCENE!!)
This is single handidly the best fight scene on the side of a building EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zen has to chase final boss through a parade of fire escapes, neon signs and the side of a train platform. It perfectly plays out. Because you know henchmen are gonna fall down some 2 stories...badly.
A great way to end the film. The final fight scene is everything you wanted it to be. Such killer stunts and action sequences, I can't believe they accomplished all of this in less than 90 minutes.
Rating - 10.0
Influences
Are you kidding me? Prachya Pinkaew and his stunt team are their own influence on other films.
Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)
This ain't horror son.
Nude-ipedia
Dude, this ain't horror.
WTF moment The spoiler scene listed above. I lost my shit when I saw it. So awesome.
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
This may be the first movie I may give 5 spinkicks too. But I'll give it 4 plus an extra spinkick for being so awesome. Non existent plot and motive plus the fact that the last 30 minutes were all action makes this one of the best films of 2008. Chocolate hit on all cylinders of what it was suppose to be. A non stop action sequence from start to finish.
An autistic woman with powerful martial art skills looks to settle her ailing mother's debts by seeking out the ruthless gangs that owe her family money.
JeeJa Yanin is breathtaking in the trailer below. Her muay thai skills are unfuckinbelievable and as always, there are no stunt doubles and all the action stunts you see are as is.
I just watched the trailer for Ong Bak 2. And all I have to say is....WTF?
Ong bak had simple premise. Super uber muay thai fighter Tony Jaa comes to Bangkok to get back mystical head, meet his funny cousin and kicks anybody's ass in the process if they get in his way.
He also runs, flies, skips, dashes and avoids obstacles in a local market than savagely beats up henchman and the boss at the end.
That's it. So can somebody tell me why is Ong Bak 2 an epic period movie filled with num chucks, elephants and facepaint?
Arghhhh. C'mon Tony Jaa. Doing crazy kicks, free running and kneeing somebody in the head is what made Ong Bak rock. I need to see you elbow somebody's fuckin head.
Well, I'll give this movie a chance. It seems like they are showcasing some other Thai martial arts so that seems cool. And this flick has weapons. Maybe the weapons will help. We'll see.
Ever wonder if Tony Jaa was a hot looking Thai kick ass autistic woman?
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