Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Bxx: Haunted - The Revolution of Web Horror?

You know what I forgot to do? I was suppose report back on what I thought of Kill Cam, an interactive horror story that I checked out over a few weeks. It was interesting to say the least. The live web cam turned into a webcam orgy of bored Australian nerds. The story did have a twist but was kind of predictable. To say the least it tried to hard but it did have it's moments. It also didn't go viral like I thought it would within the horror universe.

But you know what Kill Cam was missing?

Star power. A creative genius that had the imagination, funds and scope to make interactive horror on the web a real reality. That's when I stumbled upon Daniel Knauf's Bxx Haunted. Knauf is the creative mastermind behind HBO's Carnivale, Spartacus and Supernatural. So what's Bxx: Haunted? Well it's a non linear interactive movie which after watching the video below, I'm kind of intrigued.

Like a Choose Your Own Adventure tale, you get to choose which characters you want to follow, investigate rooms and check in on cams throughout an house. The story goes that a group of paranormal investigators become trapped in a house that's gone a little Poltergeisty. The Box Narrative is an interesting new way of storytelling and dammit, I'm pretty psyched. 6 characters in one house for 48 hours and we can take any path we want to reveal the narrative.

We're the filmmaker so to speak.

I'm all for new ways to watch horror and this is definitely the most creative gimmick I've seen in a while.

Sign up now as the first 5,000 people get an invitation and then it closes!

Full access will be available online 11:26 PM PST Friday 2/24 by invite only. Check out the teaser with Knauf and the trailers below. Also follow on Twitter.

The Box-Narrative from Daniel Knauf on Vimeo.

Bxx:HAUNTED Teaser #1 from Daniel Knauf on Vimeo.

Bxx: HAUNTED Teaser #2 from Daniel Knauf on Vimeo.

What do you think of this? Do you think this will work as a format to tell a story? Share your thoughts!

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Linsanity Of The Walking Dead

So I've gotten caught up with Linsanity, the rise of the New York Knicks Jeremy Lin from obscure "Rudy" to superstar savior. An Asian American playing NBA ball at the highest level is rare to say the least so it's pretty awesome to see him breakout and truly be a top notch baller.

But you know what else is rare?

Asians Americans on TV. Yup, look at any TV show and Asian Americans barely register. Sure they only make up 5% of the population but the representation is almost non existent unless they know kung fu. Stereotypes aside, I loved the fact Glenn's first appearance on The Walking Dead was not one of victim but savior. He saved Rick in Atlanta and showed he was a resourceful and was courageous kid in an apocalypse. I had high hopes that Glenn would grow to be a main character that was impactful in some way.

But slowly the stereotypes creeped in. He wasn't invited to the big missions, seemed to hang out with Dale alot, was used as bait, used as comic relief and was shy and awkward with the farmer's daughter. If he was written this way in the comic I do not know but as I watch The Walking Dead, I really hoped that we just underestimated him. That Glenn as a minor bench warmer was only temporary. I was hoping Glennsanity was just around the corner.

I mean there are some signs right?

He scored and saved the hot girl (got some!), killed a few walkers in spectacular fashion and discovered the barn. I think he could play an intricate part in the story. He's got the skills, the know how and the zombie IQ to kick ass and lead this team to victory (hmm I'm getting my Lin and Glenn's confused I think)

Glenn could actually make our Walking Dead outcasts better. He's unselfish (he went on the pharmacy run, the bait thing, searched for Sophia, etc.) As we get sick of the soap opera storylines, Glenn could probably add some much added pizazz and fun to the show. How much more Rick (he's like the Amare Stoudamire of the group), Shane (Yup, he's Melo) and Lori (D'Antoni) can we take?

I've already compared the Walking Dead to Lost but the others resemble other Knicks. Daryl is Shumpert, Andrea is Chandler, Dale is Jarred Jeffries. Well I could go on. Glenn is the kid every Walking Dead fanatic/nerd/geek roots for. He's the young kid who seems to be overlooked, never gets the chance to voice his opinion in major decisions but somehow scored the hottie. He's the guy we relate to. He cares more about the team (err I mean rag tag group of survivors) that he'd be willing to sacrifice having grunt relations with Maggie.

He's the underdog that has the potential to be awesome, to make the show better than it is now. This needs to happen. We deserve it.

We need Glennsanity.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Jaded Viewer would like a cameo.....please?

I'll admit it. I've reviewed a ton of indie horror movies and sometimes its truly gratifying to have a filmmaker, writer or director thank you for giving such a good review or promoting a film. Though I love writing this blog and supporting indie horror I also do love getting free shit. I don't get paid for the site (I run no ads). But a part of me longs to get an e-mail that says:

"Hey Jaded Viewer, do you wanna have a cameo in our film?"

Fuck yeah I do. Every horror blogger would love to be asked that. Hell, I don't want even speaking lines. I'd like to just be in the background pretending to hold a conversation with a hot girl speaking gibberish. Of course, it would be kinda cool to "die" in a horror movie. I mean that would be the awesomest cameo wouldn't it?

All horror bloggers blog for the love of horror but the perks are pretty fun to. We've all probably met our fair share of celebs, filmmakers and stars. Hell when Eli Roth tweeted back to me one time, I was thrilled! But I wouldn't mind being slaughtered by a rich psychotic douchebag either.

Clearly, I have no acting experience whatsover. I 'm not part of any guild or organization for acting but I'm sure not all indie actors might be either. I can say I was once a zombie in a college short film but I've never actually seen the short and I only did it to hang out with a cute girl. The funny thing is I entered that Walking Dead sweeps where you could have been flown to Atlanta to have a zombie cameo. I entered that contest like a zillion times. That would have been the dream cameo.

So I'm putting this out there. If you're filming an indie film or indie horror, I'd love to make a cameo in your film playing any part. You need me to be a cadaver? I'm there. You need a homeless looking guy? I'm your man. You need a delivery guy? I'm always on time.

Horror bloggers and fans, if you could have a cameo in a horror film, which filmmaker or director would you want to be in?

And seriously...I'm an awesome zombie. I've got my staggered walk and echo moans down pat. We all need the jaded viewer zombie.

Make it happen.

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Shortround: The Code (Review)

Lots of new Shortround posts this week. Here's another one where you can actually watch for yourself. From Mark Blitch comes The Code, a horror comedy short that part Buffy part Shaun of the Dead.

The tagline says it all: Put it on your Google Calendar

Watch the short below and then read my review.

The Code - watch more funny videos

the jaded viewer says: At 6 minutes, The Code cleverly polishes it's Buffy dialogue and Shaun of the Dead references while throwing in cameos chock full of horror icons. It's funny and knows the stereotypical horror cliches it parodies. I like the cliched opening of a douchebag alpha male with the supposed dumb blonde though I was 100% sure she was a Buffy in disguise.

The vampire, chainsaw slasher and Bigfoot were solid surprises but Taylor Brandt as zombie Shaun steals the show with his loyalty for Google Calendar. Obvious reference aside, it made me LOL and the makeup and FX won ton of awards at the Splatterfest Festival in Houston.

Good job by all those involved and I'm happy you all were able to see it as well.

Check out the links below for more info.

Film -
FB -
Metal Sandwhich Films:

Thursday, February 09, 2012

How Do You Write A Joe Scherman Song? (Trailer)

I've been seeing a lot of promos and posters all over NYC for NBC's new show Smash. I'll admit, this is not my sort of bag, but when jaded viewer friend Christina Rose dropped me a line informed me that Gary King's indie musical How Do You Write A Joe Scherman Song? is soon to be released I had to take a quick glance at the trailer (which is below).

Here be the plot:

Joe (Joe Schermann) dreams of hitting it big on Broadway. After landing an opportunity to write for an Off-Broadway musical, he is forced to cast either the love of his life Evey (Christina Rose) or his newly discovered muse Summer (Debbie Williams). The realities of show business prove to Joe that writing is easy, living is hard.

Christina is a brilliant actress (she was brilliant in Death of the Dead (see review here and interview here) and I'm sure she's going to show off all her talents: her beauty, singing and acting in this little slice of NYC indie film.

Here's more info via the Press Release:

HOW DO YOU WRITE A JOE SCHERMANN SONG is an original feature film musical written and directed by Gary King; music and lyrics by Joe Schermann; and original score by Ken Lampl. It stars the singer/songwriter of the same name Joe Schermann, Christina Rose (of Broadway's GREASE, Deadheads, & previously worked with King on "Death of the Dead"), Mark DiConzo ("New York Lately"), Debbie Williams, Jenn Dees ("What's Up Lovely") and Darly Ray Carliles (Jaradoa Theater). The incredible dance sequences in the film were choreographed by Mark DiConzo and Christina Rose. The indie film was funded primarily through crowdfunding (Kickstarter) which has led to a global fan base long before the film's release. Marcus Wolf and Edward A. Bishop of Flicker Dreams Productions served as executive producers.

Film festival screening announcements coming soon.

Check out the trailer.

HOW DO YOU WRITE A JOE SCHERMANN SONG - Official Trailer from Gary King on Vimeo.

For more info check out these links:

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

The Shortround: Familiar (Review)

The Shortround returns with another Fatal Pictures short film by producer Zach Green and director Richard Powell. I previously reviewed their short Worm which was dastardly disturbing. In Familiar, we get what made Worm mesmerizing and also a bucket of splatter.

Here be the plot.

Through a series of tragic events a middle aged man grows to suspect the negative impulses plaguing his mind may not be his own.

the jaded viewer says: In Familiar, we follow John Dodd, twin brother to Geoffrey Dodd who we saw in Worm. He has a American Beauty like life, with a wife and daughter living the suburban dream (or nightmare). Like his brother, we get to hear his inner most thoughts and he's longing for escape from his mid life hell. Dinners are eaten, sleep is dreadful and all John wants is to escape after his daughter goes on to college.

But John believes his wife is the cartoon ball and chain and is plotting to keep him locked to this living hell. Soon a big development has him taking drastic measures to ensure his escape but that nagging voice in his head is more than what it seems. As Familiar concludes into some self inflicted open surgery, John must battle the inner demon living inside of him.

Familiar is the type of short that packs an emotional punch in it's 20 minute run time then most Hollywood dramas. The lack of dialogue other than an inner monologue by Robert Nolan is paced to a point where it slowly grows over time. It clearly is American Beauty meets Cronenberg madness. Powell works the inner monologue with methodical timing and inserts conversational emotions with each scene between the characters.

I would say it lacks in the fact that an eerie conclusion is used as an ending where possibly a reunion between John and his wife might have been more fitting. Clearly the WTF-ness of it all makes it 10 times more terrifying. Nolan's performance is top notch and shows he can drive a short with just his face.

Green and Powell are a hell of an exciting duo in indie film and there is no doubt a feature is on it's way. If Familiar is the type of work we can look forward to, I can't wait.

The Vitals

Check out the teaser trailer.

Monday, February 06, 2012

ABC's The River (TV Review)

I was able check out ABC's new show The River a little early. You've probably seen the commercials and the marquee branding that it comes from Paranormal Activity director Oren Peli. Having watched the pilot, I gotta admit it's probably the best pilot I've ever seen since Lost.

It really grabs you from the opening scene and you get seriously mesmerized by it all. Sometimes in pilots, they think they need to establish characters so you all know who is who. The River touches on a few character developments but doesn't get bogged down in the details. It knows it'll get into that in later episodes.

What The River does well is jump right into the shit you wanna see. So what's that exactly?

A Steve Irwin (but American) like TV explorer and wildlife guru and his family were stars of a hit weekly TV show where they discovered new species and got into the adventures (you know Swiss Family Robinson style I guess). Years later, dear old dad seems to have gone missing and his wife, his son and a new TV crew go searching for the long lost star explorer. They're joined by a hot blonde (there is always a hottie and who also lost her dad in the last expedition), a few TV producers and camera guys and a South American guide with his daughter and it's bon voyage into the Amazon.

Filmed with that Paranormal Activity style of shaky cam footage (via the cameramen), surveillance shots, old archived footage and traditional TV style, it all works on all those different levels. Soon these rag tag group locates a beacon that is suppose to be from Dr. Emmet Cole, our intrepid adventurer and they locate and search an abandoned boat of the long lost crew. But then shit starts hitting the fan.

Magical unseen forces are wreaking havoc, weird footage of dad doing Amazonian things and a glimpsed at story from the natives is told. A few scenes had me going WTF. But it's the pure awesomeness of Peli and his sight beyond sight that makes The River standout. We get a mythos in the pilot, a few blurry attacks and a good ole WTF death scene. Awesome.

Sure it's basically Paranormal Activity meets Lost. The characters all seem to echo a bit of shadiness and our "Jack" character is now called Lincoln Cole. But all in all, something seems not right and the mystery really does hook you. The dragonflies are all quirky and the mysterious entity that "seeks blood" isn't just shutting doors or flickering lights but outright attacking the castaways.

The River looks promising and I'm going to definitely check out series. There is already so much good horror TV shows probably on your plate but I'm banking on the natives and the river to slaughter and cannibalize this millennial version of the SS Minnow.

Good times.

The River premieres on February 7th 2012 (Tuesday) on ABC.

Friday, February 03, 2012

Ferocious Planet (Review)

Ferocious Planet

Ferocious Planet (TV 2011)

Directed by Billy O'Brien

[this review is from The Jaded Viewer 2 DVD Giveaway Winner Kim K. She suffered through these awful flicks like a real soldier and for that I'm giving her a honorary jaded viewer gold star of awesomeness]

I was warned - these movies won’t be making any "best of" lists. Watching them was a test of will. I have a short attention span. I'm rating them not by spinkicks, but by how many failed attempts it took me to actually sit down with the movie long enough to watch until the end.

"Ferocious Planet"

Alien movies, even when done well, are not typically the subgenre I reach for first. Plus, I tend toward thinking that any film with the word ‘Ferocious’ in the title is bound to be lame. But you can't judge a film by it's cover right?

Okay... maybe you can.

This movie begins with two scientists giving a demonstration to a group of politicians, military and fellow scientists on their groundbreaking technology whose purpose quickly becomes unimportant as once activated, the entire lab rips out of our dimension and into one inhabited only by dinosaur-like aliens. The scientists spend the remainder of the movie trying to fix their machine so that the group can make it back home. The politicians & military men prance around the jungle exploring, in hopes of securing fame and fortune. You can probably guess which group was (marginally) more successful.

There were funny moments, though most of them were likely unintentional. This movie had a feel of Jurassic Park-meets-Predator tweaked for a scifi original. The CGI was cartoonish, but in the context of this movie, it works well enough. The concept was ridiculous from the get-go, so I say run with that. The movie doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously either, which I respect, so if you’re going to watch, make it a drinking game:

  • Drink every time someone gets killed

    -Twice if it’s not the person you expect
    -Three times if killed in almost identical manner to the previous character

  • Drink for every cut-to-commercial edit

  • Drink whenever someone says “that’s impossible,” “we’ve hit a snag,” or “we have a problem”

  • Drink for every time gunshots don’t work.

    -Twice when characters use them anyway.

  • Drink anytime someone mentions self preservation

  • Drink for breathless running through the forest.
There is one kind of funny, ironic twist in the final five minutes that I appreciated, but not enough to make watching the entire movie worthwhile.

I give this film: 4 failed attempts.

No nudity in either flick and minimal gore, I’m afraid.

And there you go. Now may I request you send me a copy of “Martyrs” or “The Woman” as consolation for playing? ;)

[Totally, Kim. My Top 10 Horror Movies of 2011 List is at your disposal. You can pick any film you want :-) ]

Check out the trailer.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Could the Jaded Viewer outsmart (or die horribly) against these infamous slasher icons?

I was watching an episode of Tosh.0 and Daniel Tosh started naming celebrities he thought he could beat up. It's pretty funny video and it got me thinking, if I were a final guy trapped in a horror movie, which top horror slashers could I outsmart?

Based upon my educational level, my vast knowledge of horror trivia, tactics and experience, I think I could do well against certain slashers and pretty much get sliced early on against others. So below you'll find a list of slashers and whether or not I could outsmart them and escape scot fuckin free.

I want you fellow jaded viewers and my horror blogger alumni to try this experiment as well. List a bunch of slashers and think really hard if you could come out a winner. Don't be asshole/douche and think you could really get away from all of them. Share your lists and we'll all pretend to be smart motherfuckers!

Here's mine!

1.) Jason Voorhees

the jaded viewer says: Fuck yeah I could outsmart Jason. I'm not that freakin clumsy, won't trip running away in the woods and I'm pretty sure I'm in decently physically fit cardio wise. Jason waits for you to board yourself up in a house or cabin in the woods. Fuck that shit.

I'm running all night, even in the dead of night until I reach pavement of a highway. I'll bring a water bottle with me.

2.) Freddy Kreuger

the jaded viewer says: When I dream, I'm totally not in control. I don't know how to dream properly (lucid dreaming or whatever it's called) and I'd totally get Inception killed by the son of 1000 maniacs.

3.) Michael Myers

the jaded viewer says: The king of slashers and the smartest maniac on the planet. Michael was calculated, methodical and damn clever. I wouldn't last 10 minutes if I was hanging out in front of the Haddonfield 7-Eleven.

4.) Jigsaw

the jaded viewer says: Fuck y'all. If I need to hack my arm off I'm doing it to live. But knowing Jigsaw, his traps always have a damn twist so my likely survival probably hovers around 20%.

5.) Chucky

the jaded viewer says: He's a fuckin doll. Outsmart Chucky? Hell I could actually kick his ass. I'll show him who's the Good Guy.

Name a slasher in the comments and in my follow up to this post, I'll let you know if I could win or die a horrific death. If you have a horror blog, choose a few slashers and ask yourself if you could beat these icons of horror.