Teeth (Review)

Teeth Teeth (2007)Directed by Mitchell LichtensteinI like to define subgenres of horror. What you can call this is simple.Horrorotica.We expect to see T&A, sex and mutilation.And Teeth gives us all of the above, and gives it to us in a full blown load of funny satire and splatter.It's a simple buildup. And you know whats to come. And it climaxes at the very end.PUNS SO FUCKIN INTENDED.Boring Plot-O-Matic (thank you official site)High school student...

Categories: gratuitous nudity, jess weixler, mutilated penis, teeth, teeth review, vagina with teeth

Stag Night (Trailer)

After watching the trailer for Stag Night, the first question that popped into my head was...Really?????? Every year, 2000 passengers go missing on the subway?????Get the fuck out of here.But who am I to argue. I'm sure they have certified NYC MTA stats to back that shit up.Stag Night is brought to us by Peter Dowling, who wrote Flightplan. The plot sounds like Judgement Night, but on a train.Four guys on a bachelor party get off the subway at a...

Categories: breckin meyer, kip pardue, mta, nyc horror, scott adkins, serial killer movie, stag night, stag night trailer, subway cinema, vinessa shaw

Animals (Trailer)

After watching Neil Marshall's Doomsday, it got me thinking how awesome Dog Soldiers was. A lot of directors have fucked up werewolf movies, but Dog Soldiers kicked ass.Now with the flux of lycanthrope movies such as Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and the Wolf Man coming out next year, are the American and world masses ready for a reintroduction to werewolf movies? Are we going to have a lycan revival?So as I super highwayed along, I found an interesting...

Categories: animals, animals horror trailer, animals trailer, lycans, lycanthrope, marc blucas, naveen andrews, splatterpunk, the wolf man, underworld, werewolf, werewolves

The Search For Weng Weng (Trailer)

Weng Weng got his 15 minutes when The Chuds made him a You Tube star with their Weng Weng rap.At 2'9, the Filipino midget starred in the hilarious James Bond spoof For Y'ur Height Only and The Impossible Kid as Double Agent 00. Before Mini Me, he kicked underworld criminals asses and scored with the ladies.Well, Australian filmmaker Andrew Leavold decided to search for Weng Weng and made a documentary on the legendary Filipino B-movies of the 70s...

Categories: Andrew Leavold, for y'ur height only, for your height only, James Bond spoof, the chuds, the search for weng weng trailer, weng weng, weng weng rap

5 or Die (Trailer)

Where the hell is the jaded viewer's teaser video?Arrow in the Head got one.Bloody Disgusting got one.Dread Central got one.Fangoria got one.Where the fuck is mine??And what the fuck is this trailer all about?Thanks to the Arrow, we now know it's a new short from Tom Holland that will premiere on Strike TV the internet site created by writers during the Writers Strike.Check out The Ring-like teaser for 5 or Die.5 OR DIE - FANGORIA Internet SpotTags:5 or die, 5 or die trailer , 5 or die teaser trailer , strike tv, serial killer, horror short, snuff...

Categories: 5 or die, 5 or die trailer, horror short, pseudo snuff, psycho killer, snuff, strike tv, the ring, tom holland, writers strike

Acolytes (Trailer)

Let's pretend we had a horror-lympics and we had to give out some medals to all the countries who've produced great horror movies of the last 4 years.Would it look something like this?Gold - FranceSilver - United KingdomBronze - AustraliaYup that seem right. The US wouldn't if be in the top 5 in my opinion. I'd follow up #4 with Canada and #5 with Japan.It's movies like Acolytes that have gotten my attention instead. Straight from down under, the...

Categories: acolytes, acolytes trailer, australian horror, splat pack

Jack Brooks Monster Slayer (Review)

Jack Brooks: Monster SlayerJack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008)Directed by Jon KnautzI said it once and I'll say it again. Leave it up to the Canadians to reinvigorate the 80s horror-omedy.Jon Knautz's Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer is a dash of Evil Dead, some Weird Science, a tad of Brain Dead, a pinch of The Gate and a heaping spoonful of Robert England.I've been digging the horror-omedy of late with Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon topping...

Categories: 1980s horror, ash, evil dead, fantasia film festival 2008, horroromedy, jack brooks monster slayer, jack brooks monster slayer trailer, Jon Knautzm 80s horror

We're part of LAMB! (The Large Association of Movie Blogs)

The Jaded Viewer is happy announce that we are now a member of the LAMB, The Large Association of Movie Blogs. They've got a comprehensive index of all the movie blogs on the web.From horror to comedy to anything movie related, they've got it all.The jaded viewer was recently featured as LAMB #161 you can see below.I've checked out some of the blogs and they all are pretty cool. It's a nice little niche in the internet-sphere. If you've got a movie...

Categories: lamb, large association of movie blogs, movie blogs

Chocolate (Trailer)

Ever wonder if Tony Jaa was a hot looking Thai kick ass autistic woman?Well the director of awesome-rific films Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong , Prachya Pinkaew has decided to answer that question. And the result is Chocolate.This is why Prachya Pinkaew is the reigning king of action cinema.I love the ridiculous plot (thanks IMDB)An autistic woman with powerful martial art skills looks to settle her ailing mother's debts by seeking out the ruthless gangs...

Categories: action cinema, chocolate, chocolate thai action, chocolate trailer, JeeJa Yanin, muay thai, Prachya Pinkaew, thai movies, tom yum goong, tony jaa

Seventh Moon (Trailer)

Eduardo Sanchez (who directed The Blair Witch Project) stayed under the underground radar as nobody noticed his last film, Altered.But I'm sure everybody will notice his new film, Seventh Moon, as the tagline alone has given me fanboy chills:"On the full moon of the seventh lunar month, the gates of hell open and the spirits of the dead are freed to roam among the living.”Seventh Moon stars the super hot Amy Smart and Tim Chiao as newlyweds who...

Categories: 7th moon, amy smart, amy smart naked, china, fast moving zombies, horror movies 2008, hungry ghost festival, living dead, seventh moon, seventh moon trailer, the blair witch project

Tyrese Gibson: A Jaded Viewer True Hollywood Story

I asked Insano Steve for a review of The Take. After a few weeks of prodding, he said he couldn't write a review that was potently funny or ridiculously entertaining. (I find this hard to believe as The Take seems ripe with some MST3K quips ready to be made). Instead he decided a Tyrese retrospective would be a better fit.So here is Insano Steve's retrospective.Tyrese Gibson: A Jaded Viewer True Hollywood StoryBy Insano SteveIf somebody asked me...

Categories: baby boy, black movies, gangsta movies, guns, the take, tyrese, tyrese gibson, tyrese retrospective, waist deep

The Cottage (Review)

The CottageThe Cottage (2008)Directed by Paul Andrew WilliamsThe dry sense of humor the Brits have can either be considered bloody unfunny or bloody fuckin brillant.I'm a big believer in that the subtle inappropriate remarks are better than the big jokey, long winded kind.And that's why somehow the Brits have time after time made the horror-omedy work. Shawn of the Dead, Severance and now we have The Cottage.Mixing the 2 genres together is very tricky....

Categories: horror-omedy, severance, shawn of the dead, the cottage, the cottage review, the office

Black Dynamite (Trailer)

"Now you see me where I'm coming from you jive MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"That's how the trailer concludes for Black Dynamite which I got to say looks fuckin awesome. With the influx of revival grindhouse and exploitation flicks coming out this year (see Hell Ride, Bitch Slap, Black Devil Doll), Black Dynamite might pull off the impossible.Be a full fledge blaxploitation film that has all the elements of classics such as Shaft, Superfly and Sweet Sweetback's...

Categories: black dynamite, black dynamite trailer, blaxploitation, exploitation film, interracial sex, pimping, shaft, superfly, Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, top movies of 2008

Philosophy of a Knife (Trailer)

There's a debate on whether or not Philosophy of a Knife is worth the time, money and effort to watch what the horror underground is calling the first "Goreumentary". Though many would say Men Behind the Sun is the first (a film that shocked the fuck out of me) that movie was made 20 years ago and you figured somebody would take the goreumentary a little further.That's where Andrey Iskanov comes in.The Russian director of Nails and Visions of Suffering...

Categories: Andrey Iskanov, goreumentary, japanese atrocities, japanese unit 731, Men Behind the Sun, Philosophy of a Knife, Philosophy of a Knife trailer, russian horror, unearthed films, world war 2

Bitch Slap (Trailer)

You know what? I didn't get the memo about the blaxploitation, muscle car, Pussycat Kill Kill Kill, grindhouse revivals.I finally got the TPS report so I'm now up to speed.Hence after seeing the must see trailer of the year (Black Devil Doll), the 2nd most kick ass trailer has got to be from Bitch Slap.Starring some hot blooded, kick ass, heavy artillery, much hot vixens. It's Kill Bill meets Grindhouse. Looks very Tarantino-ish but homages the...

Categories: b-movie, bitch slap, bitch slap trailer, cult clasic, exploitation, faster pussycat kill kill kill, gratuitous nudity, grindhouse, muscle cars, quentin tarantino, sexual killings, top movies of 2009

Doomsday (Review)

Doomsday Doomsday (2008)Directed by Neil MarshallEverybody please welcome Mr. Neil "Big Budget Blockbuster" Marshall.What happens when you give the director of The Descent 30 million to make a flick?He doesn't remake his cave dwelling masterpiece or direct a remake of an American horror classic.What he does is simple. He makes a movie about a B-movie post apocalyptic virus stricken futuristic world ripe with homages to everything from The Road Warriors,...

Categories: doomsday, doomsday review, doomsday trailer, escape from new york, mad max, neil marshall, post apocalyptic, rhona mitra, the road warriors, top horror movies of 2008

Gutterballs (Trailer)

I stumbled upon the poster for Gutterballs (I love the homage to the Maniac poster) and immediately wanted to check out the trailer which is below.From the director of Live Feed, it seems they went with a "bad" movie set up which ultimately has gotta be fuckin hilarious.Cardboard cut out horror slasher, stereoptypical characters and a 80s bowling alley equal the good 80s horror of old.They've created other poster variations of other classic 80s horror...

Categories: 80s horror, bowling, gutterballs, gutterballs teaser trailer, gutterballs trailer, maniac, plot digger productions, slasher films, top horror movies of 2008

Black Devil Doll (Trailer)

I really think I've seen every sorta genre movie. Be it mushy chick flick to hard-gore horror. Hence the name: the jaded viewer. But every once in a while, I'll see a flick and go "Wow that's fuckin new!"After seeing the trailer for Black Devil Doll, I said that exactly.Part blaxploitation, part porn, part horror-omedy. It's a mix bag of grindhouse homage and cheesey velveeta goodness.Director Jonathan Lewis with fellow writer Shawn Lewis (who is...

Categories: black devil doll, black devil doll from hell, black devil doll trailer, black devil doll uncensored unrated trailer, blaxploitation, gratuitous nudity, grindhouse, porn

Top 50 Hottest Sci Fi Girls (Feature)

I'll admit it. I watched Lexx. I also watched Cleopatra 2525. Hell I even watched Xena too. I attribute these addictive shows to a disease that strikes men 18-34 years old and can be contagious as hell.I call it Dark Angel Syndrome. See the definition below.Dark Angel Syndromenoun1.) Watching any particular form of entertainment (movie, tv show, etc.) because the hotness of lead actress outweighs the horrible plot, bad acting and totally shitty...

Categories: cleopatra 2525, dark angel, jessica alba, lexx, top 50 hottest sci fi girls, ugo, ugo.com, women of scifi, xenia seeberg