Evil Dead 2013 (Review)

Evil Dead (2013)

Evil Dead (2013)

Directed by Fede Alvarez 

Groovy.

Hollywood keeps churning out the remake machine. And we all keep eating it. Sometimes when you haven't eaten that cake you haven't had in a while, it tastes different, has more flavors and it's actually still damn yummy.

Welcome to the Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell approved Evil Dead sequel? remake? re imagining?

If you hold tried and true to the principles of what made Raimi's cabin in the woods film all so awesome, you won't fuck it up. Even when you add some Diablo Cody and some director you've never heard of, it will still work if you go with the old school makeup and gore effects and slip in a run down Oldsmobile. What you come up with is what I tweeted after seeing the flick:

There is an audience that has seen Raimi's #EvilDead and an audience that has NOT seen the original. This version works amazingly both.

Evil Dead goes for a straight take, book of the dead unleashed blood soaked horror film. Gone are the wacky hi jinks of ED2 and Army. What we have received in this installment is what noobs and hardcore veterans haven't seen in years, a demon menace wreaking havoc horror film. I have always been a fan of these films and like the cannibal movie of yesteryear, sometimes I want to see my first horror loves from so long ago.

When your nostalgia meter gets jacked to maximum and you see a few kids getting killed by all manners of weaponry, it's a fun time for all.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

 Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. The evil presence possesses them until only one is left to fight for survival. 

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Might as well review this like I did Cabin in the Woods. With my slasher Q&A. In this case, I'll slightly modify it to be more demon-y focused.

1.) Does the movie have..... a mysterious, insanely strong, ridiculed as a child, deformed, inbred redneck slasher?

It has a Deadite that goes all Urban Dictionary while being all possessively demonic and fucked up. There's tinge of wicked humor (let's call it Cody-isms) but more so awkward evil going all crazy.

2.) Gratuitous, over the top, super fleshy nudity?

Can you believe it? Nada. Sigh.

3.) Stereotypical teenage caricatures with a few old people who die gruesome and horrific over the top deaths?
 

We got our Ash-ish final girl Mia, David the older bro who borders on final guy, the nerdy tinkerer who unleashes the evil, the black tough girl and the ditzy blonde girlfriend. And yup they die waaaay over the top deaths. Our hipster has balls of fuckin steel but we'll get to that in a moment.

4.) No Plot?

It's the same old plot so pretty much no plot.

5.) Kills by our slasher that make you go "Fuck yeah!"

Our resident deadite does go all kill happy in a variety of ways. Needle trauma, brain smashing trauma, nail gun trauma, shotgun trauma, hammer time trauma.

6.) Gore, lots of it. Like serious decapitation, dismemberment, impalement, hatchet frenzy steroid rages and blood shooting out at various penetration wounds, limbs a flailing and mindless splatter and mayhem? 

We get a version of happy molesting tree, some evil hand infection and some Ash-ing it up montage moments. Blood mayhem goes old school and I deeply appreciated it. You could tell the makeup and buckets of blood being used gave it that old timey horror glaze that we all love.


7.) Geeky leader who takes charge of the hapless group as they try to escape who befriends the hot girl who knows about the "legend" (there's always a legend no one believes)

Our nerdy hippy who unleashed the evil dead sure can take a beating. He was stabbed, nail gunned, crowbared and beaten senseless and he kept breathing. Kudos to you dude.You must have been on meth or something.

8.) Funny yet ill timed dialogue but also various quips and one liners that are funny only the first time around (yet somehow funny again when you buy the DVD and only when you're stoned)

If you laughed it was probably a Cody-ism. Thank the old gods there wasn't a hamburger phone.

9.) Gratuitous cameos of horror legends (a famous man of the box, classic Universal monsters, Kubrick tweens) that make you flash a metal sign and do the Beavis and Butthead pseudo head nodding.
 
You saw the Oldsmobile Delta 88 and the end credits scene. A few of the Raimi trademarks also show up.

10.) Wildly ambiguous ending that can be used to warrant a sequel?

Somebody will find the goddamn Necronimicon. They always do.

************************************************************

I'm not going to say Evil Dead is a perfect film, but it does its job well. It's 90 minutes of furious hellish fun that takes the cabin in the woods formula and gets all creative. I mean ever since Whedon's masterpiece, I've been scarred by the cliched woods film. But Alvarez seems to genuinely care about the source material, does his fair share of homaging and actually creates his own version that shines. Is it a sequel? a remake? a chapter?

Who the hell knows. We should be glad we got this installment of the franchise and be happy.

Groovy indeed.

Rating:
 

Check out the trailer. 

Categories: bruce campbell, deadite, demons, evil dead, horror remakes, sam raimi

Drag Me To Hell (Review)

Drag Me To Hell

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Directed by Sam Raimi

There was some ying but no yang.

That's the best way to describe my feelings towards Drag Me To Hell. I too was excited by Raimi's returning to his horror roots. So going in and finally watching this, I was a little hyped. But as I watched the movie I noticed something that bothered me.

I couldn't watch the movie without flashbacking to what I liked about Raimi's other flicks. Evil Dead series, Darkman even Spiderman.

And then it hit me. Drag Me To Hell was making me remember everything I love about Raimi's work except one thing.

It didn't have a hero (or in this case a heroine).

And this is why I'm going to give it the rating I give it. And I'll explain why.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A loan officer ordered to evict an old woman from her home finds herself the recipient of a supernatural curse, which turns her life into a living hell. Desperate, she turns to a seer to try and save her soul, while evil forces work to push her to a breaking point.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The critics can't be wrong right? 92% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, the film is on numerous top 10 lists and praised by numerous mainstream horror sites and the blogosphere. OK here is where I become a salmon and swim against the current. I'll tell you what I liked, what I didn't like and just because I know everybody saw this, I'm not going to rehash plot and shit. I will try to just summarize my thoughts with Evil Dead quotes...hopefully you won't throw feces at me after reading this review.

"I know now that my wife has become host to a Kandarian demon. I fear that the only way to stop those possessed by the spirits of the book is through the act of... bodily dismemberment."

-Voice on the recorder

OK lets go through the awesome shit of Drag Me To Hell. The Lamia demon is pure mega-rific Universal monsters fun. All the great Raimi's angles and closeups and wicked camera movements are in full effect. Raimi going back to solid basics is always good stuff. Adding to the effect are all the awesome shock scare moments. Pure, vintage Raimi.

Rattling pans, curtains fluttering, shadowy glimpses, window breaking and the best jump scares are all back in action. From gushing bloody noses and mouths to gypsy lady in a closet and anvil droppings. All good shit. Eye popping action, flies on our lens, talking goats. Yay. I also really never get tired of regurgitation in my horror comedies. The entire sequence as Christine fights off Grandma Ganush in the car is brilliantly yummy. No complaints. Keep the poop in check for now.

Henrietta: I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul!
Ash: [Aims shotgun at Henrietta's face] Swallow this.

Alison Lohman as Christine does a decent job screaming and just has that Pam Beasly look to her. Act tough! Act scared! Act concerned! Act loan officer-ish! Justin Long is OK as the everyday guy who is clueless but Dileep Rao as Rham Jas gives us a good ole seance guy and makes us believe the demonology.

"Then let's head on down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch." -Ash

OK. Here is why I think the movie lacks. The problem lies with Christine. She never goes into hero mode. Not even an anti-hero mode. I'm not looking for her to be Ash or Spidey or Darkman but I need her to believe that the forces of evil are real. Each of Raimi's other heroes BELIEVE in the impossible, the supernatural and the tech. And then they kick the shit out of it.

With all the devlish demons of hell tormenting Christine, she still seemed surprised by it all. Oh yes, she believes eventually but towards the end Rham Jas asks her to repeat the line: "I welcome the dead to my soul" and then Jas tells her "You must believe it! It's like Christine was playing the "this is still not real" perception even after everything that happened to her.

My main point is this. Christine continues to play the victim until the very end (and we know what happens at the end). It's debatable to speculate if she deserved what happened to her but I needed her to fight back. Be the heroine, femme up and be a pseudo vintage final girl. Instead, she pays 10gs and hires backup.

But Raimi is also at fault. He built up a high octane demon vs medium seance then unleashes a deux ex machina on us which of course is to give the button to somebody else, thus passing the curse. This is what he ends the movie with which is like a roller coaster going to its highest point then dipping down at 200 mph. I mean who didn't see the envelope switch. It was rather obvious. But that's not the point.

The point I'm trying to make is were suppose to have good vs evil. It's what makes a good horror movie. Yes you can make the hero grey or muddled, possibly even non likeable but there is suppose to be a give and take. A ying and a yang. Demon attacks, hero fights back. Hero fights back, demon attacks. Ultimately good triumphs over evil (though I do love when evil wins too).

The fact Christine suffers and gets attacked and only waits until the end to metaphorically load up her chainsaw with some mediums do we get any fight from her. As a character, Lohman plays her as sympathetic but fuck it, she's not. She screwed the old lady and deserves the shit that's coming to her. She probably is the cause of the entire United States economy going into a depression. Damn banks and loans lenders can go straight to hell as far as I'm concerned (pun so well intended)

Drag Me To Hell is vintage Raimi but it shows off his rust as he comes back into the horror genre (OMG! You guys just threw poop at me didn't you?) I did love some of the moments but as I said I think we encountered a few hiccups along the way. If you step back and think about the film, you'll see what I mean. Throughout the entire movie I wanted Sylvia Ganush and the Lamia demon to drag that money grubbing bank employee to hell.

I gave her a chance of survival of about 10%. Why?It's not like she's a hero or anything.

Gore-ipedia

Vomitous Gratuitous
Ocular trauma
Stapler trauma
Feline trauma
You know the rest

Nude-ipedia

Nada

WTF moment

Ganush can kick ass

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

So I'm giving Drag Me To Hell 2 spinkicks. And no, its probably not making my Top 10 list of 2009. This is what I thought and you can brand me a Raimi traitor if you wish. I just didn't think the movie was spectacular as everyone else did.

OK, let me know what you think. I can take it. But please, no more poop. Don't you have tomatoes?

Rating:
Check out the trailer below.



DRAG ME TO HELL: Movie Trailer - Watch the best video clips here

Categories: 2009 horror dvd, 2009 horror movies, 2009 horror trailers, ash, drag me to hell, evil dead, sam raimi

Jack Brooks Monster Slayer (Review)

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008)

Directed by Jon Knautz

I said it once and I'll say it again. Leave it up to the Canadians to reinvigorate the 80s horror-omedy.

Jon Knautz's Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer is a dash of Evil Dead, some Weird Science, a tad of Brain Dead, a pinch of The Gate and a heaping spoonful of Robert England.

I've been digging the horror-omedy of late with Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon topping my top 10 Horror movies of 2007.


So it was surprising that I would dig Jack Brooks which despite it's flaws is a pretty fun film from the middle to the end.


Boring Plot-O-Matic

(gracias IMDB)

As a child Jack Brooks witnessed the brutal murder of his family. Now a young man he struggles with a pestering girlfriend, therapy sessions that resolve nothing, and night classes that barely hold his interest. After unleashing an ancient curse, Jack's Professor undergoes a transformation into something not-quite- human, and Jack is forced to confront some old demons... along with a few new ones

Awesome Review-O-Matic

On a rainy night, Insano Steve and I attended the NY/East Coast premiere of Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer. It was presented by Fangoria and the director Jon Knautz and Mr. Jack Brooks himself Trevor Matthews were suppose to be on hand for a Q and A but alas they could not attend due to the bad weather.

But some hardcore horror fans did attend and we all saw some throwback 80s horror homage that we all left us skippy happy.

The first thing you notice when you watch Jack Brooks is, is this 1988? Because all the classic 80s horror conventions are in full effect.
Let's go through a checklist shall we?

1.) Ordinary, every day guy who has to save the day and becomes our reluctant hero.

CHECK.

2.) His clueless, blonde annoying girlfriend who is a ditz.

CHECK.

3.) Cardboard cutouts of high school streotypes (fat smart girl, stoner guys, nerds, hot punk rock chick, jocks and "Styles like Teen Wolf guy").

CHECK.

4.) The creepy old guy who tells the eerie back story of the evil that is to come.

CHECK.

5.) The professor who discovers a mysterious evil underneath his house, digs it up and gets fuckin posessesed.

CHECK.

6.) An over the top, gross out splatterfest with a boss character at the end that looks like Chet from Weird Science.

CHECK.

What we're initially seeing is an origin story. Jack's origin story and it's filled with classic moments that you can't forget. Trevor Matthews plays Jack as the confused everyday guy (he's a plumber attending night school) who's just looking for his purpose in life. Sorta like Ash, he's been put into a situation that eventually will make him see his true calling.

But it's Robert England performance that makes this classic. He's in vintage form as the night school professor that gets possessed by an evil demon heart (!?) that metamorphizes him into a fat, slobbering mutant big eyed ENORMOUS mouth monster that injects victims into blood thirsty demons. His slow transformation is hilarious as he devours chicken, veggies and his poor dog. Some gross out reversal of fortune moments and the Fly-like transfo is just awesome.

The final epic battle is fought in the school and the POW! BIFF! WOP! battle ensues as Jack battles the demons....using his plumbing tools.....and his wits.

It's all pretty generic but it's still all fun.

We get few camera angles, POV shots and some locker door smashing straight from the Sam Raimi school of directing. Some great one liners and gore and splatter FX that are top notch.

If Slither and Jack Brooks are the evolution of the classic 80s horror reinvigorated for today's audience, we're in good hands. Fuck the remakes. That shit never works. Do it right and make your own movie and franchise it.

Move over Ash, you've got company.

Influences

Evil Dead series
Brain Dead
Weird Science
Night of the Creeps
Slither
The Gate
Troll
80's horror movies

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Heart eating
Chicken wing eating
Monster tube slicing
Pipe smashing
Ax slashing
Head splatter smashing
Sodium Chloride expoding

Nudipidedia (because you like boobies)

Nada

!!!!WTF moment!!!!

The opening scene.
The monster at the beginning (and in the picute to the right)
The transformation

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Do we have a new Ash in the making? Yes and his name is Jack Brooks. And he's a fuckin monster slayer.

If you love the 80s horror of old, then you'll dig this.

Here's hoping their's a sequel.


Rating:

The Trailer:

Check out the official site for more information and screenings. If you are in the NYC area, it's playing at the Two Boots Pioneer theatre.

Tags:
Jack Brooks Monster Slayer, Jack Brooks Monster Slayer trailer , horroromedy , fantasia film festival 2008, evil dead ash, top movies of 2008, monsters, Jon Knautz, Jack Brooks Monster Slayer review,Evil Dead, ,1980s horror,

Categories: 1980s horror, ash, evil dead, fantasia film festival 2008, horroromedy, jack brooks monster slayer, jack brooks monster slayer trailer, Jon Knautzm 80s horror

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (Trailer)

Leave it up to the Canadians to reinvigorate the 80s horror-omedy.

Jon Knautz's Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer from the looks of it looks like a dash of Evil Dead, some Brain Dead, a pinch of The Gate and a heaping spoonful of Robert England.

I've been digging the horror-omedy of late with Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon topping my top 10 Horror movies of 2007.

Do we have a new Ash in the making?

Judge for yourself.

The official site is live.

Tags:
Jack Brooks Monster Slayer, Jack Brooks Monster Slayer trailer , horroromedy , fantasia film festival 2008, evil dead ash, top movies of 2008, monsters, Jon Knautz

Categories: ash, evil dead, fantasia film festival 2008, horroromedy, jack brooks monster slayer, jack brooks monster slayer trailer, Jon Knautz