The Summer of Massacre (Review)

The Summer of Massacre

The Summer of Massacre (2011)

Directed by Joe Castro

Well that sucked.

Back in the day, I would search out for the most fucked up, goriest, splattered fill horror movies out in the underground. I soon stumbled upon German splatter like Ittenbach's Burning Moon or Schnaas Violent Shit trilogy. I would get excited when I'd get my hands on this type of movie because I'd see unrated gore and splatter in all it's 8th generation dubbed glory.

Those movies did it old school. Old school tubes, animal intestines and red faux blood to create those effects. Sure they were balloons filled with red dye and such but it looked awesome. Well those days are long gone unfortunately.

Today we get shit like The Summer of Massacre. A movie whose sole premise is that it holds the Guinness Book of World Records for the Highest Body Count in a slasher film at 155. To get this record it fills 1 hour and 37 minutes with HORRIBLY BAD CGI KILLS. And I don't mean these were Romero like CGI, I mean this is MS Paint bad CGI. It's the equivalent of super transposed 16 bit Genesis graphics on top of the movie. Atari had better graphics than this film.

It's technically an anthology with self contained stories about a mad killer on the loose, some grotesque handicapped kid, killer father back from the dead to torment his son, camp kids killed by mutant firemen and serial killers with a nuke. It's not as cool as it sounds. Bad acting, bad makeup effects, bad stories and utterly fuckin shitty CGI kills. Sliced necks, ankles, necks, etc. Bullet would deaths. A whole level of stupid gross shit. I could list shit but honestly I don't even remember. This is pretty much the worst horror movie I've seen in the last 10 years. And trust me, I've seen a lot of bad ones.

I just can't stand movies who use CGI in their horror these days. I'm an old school guy with a throwback to the grind mentality. I'm pretty sure it's necessary at times but I like seeing the vicious realism of trauma. It's what I grew up watching and I appreciate the effort by the filmmakers when they go this route.

The Summer of Massacre is a crappy induced diarrhea mess of a film. I'd rather have my eyes gouged by hot pokers than see this film again. I'd rather be eaten alive by cannibals and shown by beating heart than see this film again. I'd rather have all my arms and legs chopped off and placed in a wooden box buried alive than see this film again.

The scary part is all those scenes are going to probably be in the sequel in really fuckin bad CGI.

Sonnuva-fuck.

Rating:
0 spinkicks

Check out the trailer below.

Categories: 2012 horror movies, breaking glass pictures, gore, indie horror, splatter, splatter gore, splatterpunk, top gore movies, underground horror

Animals (Trailer)

After watching Neil Marshall's Doomsday, it got me thinking how awesome Dog Soldiers was. A lot of directors have fucked up werewolf movies, but Dog Soldiers kicked ass.

Now with the flux of lycanthrope movies such as Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and the Wolf Man coming out next year, are the American and world masses ready for a reintroduction to werewolf movies?

Are we going to have a lycan revival?

So as I super highwayed along, I found an interesting new werewolf movie called Animals.

Starring Naveen Andrews (Lost) and Marc Blucas (BtVS), from the trailer its filled with claw crunching gore, hot steamy naked sweaty sex and some jump editing weirdness.

Here be the eh - so - so - eh plot (from IMDB)

Syd Jarrett (Marc Blucas) is an unsuspecting, down-and-out man in a washed-up hick town whose life is turned upside down when the drop-dead gorgeous Nora (Nicki Aycox) walks through the door of the local bar. Jarrett's passion for Nora leads him peripherally into a sub-culture of animals where he encounters Vic (Naveen Andrews), a renegade whose animal instincts are stronger than his human ones. As things begin to get even worse, Jarrett realizes that his best chance for happiness, and survival, lies in his true love for Jane (Eva Amurri).

The movie is based on a novel by John Skipp and Craig Spector who are the inventors of "splatterpunk".

Gore, sex and werewolves.

This gotta be good right?

Check out the trailer below.

Tags:
animals trailer, animals horror trailer , werewolves , werewolf, lycans, lycanthrope, the wolf man, animals, werewolves,splatterpunk,naveen andrews

Categories: animals, animals horror trailer, animals trailer, lycans, lycanthrope, marc blucas, naveen andrews, splatterpunk, the wolf man, underworld, werewolf, werewolves