Friday, August 08, 2008

Doomsday (Review)


Doomsday (2008)

Directed by Neil Marshall

Everybody please welcome Mr. Neil "Big Budget Blockbuster" Marshall.

What happens when you give the director of The Descent 30 million to make a flick?

He doesn't remake his cave dwelling masterpiece or direct a remake of an American horror classic.

What he does is simple. He makes a movie about a B-movie post apocalyptic virus stricken futuristic world ripe with homages to everything from The Road Warriors, Mad Max and Escape from New York. Plus he throws in some medieval pics in for show.

And that's why Doomsday is jolly good fun.

Fuck the naysayers with their incoherent plot, ripoffs and been there, done that. Even the best films are homages to classics (ahem Pulp Fiction, Grindhouse, etc.).

Doomsday blends these things bloody nicely and Marshall's preposterous gore and quick editing make this a soon to be cult classic.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A virus called the Reaper virus has infected all of Scotland. The UK quarantines all of Scotland leaving the inhabitants to die a most excrutiating death. As the UK goes all tolitarian, the reaper virus shows up again and a rag tag army bats have to go back to Glasgow where survivors have been found with a possible cure.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm up. Sorry I dozed off.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Rhona Mitra (who plays Eden St. Clair) is hot in her black tank top and sporting some kick ass kung fu and a heavy duty gun. She's the major who has to infiltrate No Man's Land and find the cure. You know the drill, her team shoots a billion rounds and kills a lot of the renegade cannibal insane warriors.

But remember, it's never the good guys that make a film fun it's the baddies and boy Doomsday has a shitload. Sol is the leader of the Mad Max bunch who feast on human flesh, sport mohawks and wield clubs with spikes. Sol entertains his troops with a show number and a BBQ like no other. Everybody is tattooed and totally fucked up. But like Dr. Evil's henchman, they get their ass kicked.....royally.

After St. Clair and her team kill 500 punk rock rejects, they follow fellow survivors to find the ever elusive Dr. Kane who may or may not have the cure.

This is where I was like....."WTF!??!?"

Dr. Kane has built a world that closely resembles Medieval Times. Complete with a castle, archers, knights and wenches. I'm not fuckin kidding.

This sets up a scene where the "Executioner" knight gladiators St Clair in a pit style death match. St. Clair seems to have gone through serious Navy Seal training and bloodifies to victory.

The remaining Waterworld rejects catch up to our survivors and an unbelievable chase scene ensues with a BMW and some punk rock armored up cars.

At this point, the viewer should just sit back and watch the carnage. Ending is blah blah yay good for her and 20 minutes later you've fully digest what you've seen. You're definitely not going to be talking about this say like Memento but fuck, it's entertaining.

What more can I say? Doomsday didn't bore me. It's a little too long. I mean 2 hours? But it's got plenty of insane action scenes and tons of over the top gore and splatter.

The acting is palatable and the world Neil Marshall has intermixed is quite new. He knew how to put all the ingredients together and though it's like eating leftovers the day after, it's still pretty fuckin tasty.


The Road Warriors
Mad Max
Escape from New York (and LA)
Every post apocalyptic movie where man becomes a cannibal and goes crazy

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

People getting totally gunned down
Beheadings (I counted like 5)
Flesh eating virus gore
Shotgun blast to the head
Cow slaughter
Eye trauma
Sword head trauma
Hand and decapitations

Nudipedia (because you like boobies)

Hot blonde in a tub has big boobies
Mad Max vixens with cleavage
Rhona Mitra's hotness

WTF moment

St. Clair's eye and the Medieval Times flip of a coin

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

It's not a perfect movie but it's heart is in the right place. Doomsday didn't turd out like Waterworld but creates a 21st century post apocalyptic world that looks like Newark. I definitely knew coming in this was not going to come close to Marshall's other masterpieces Dog Soldiers and The Descent, but as fas as big budget blockbusters go, this one wasn't too bad.

Let's hope Neil goes back to his roots and gives us the next horror movie we all want.


The Trailer:

, , , , , , , ,


  1. the ending lost me on this movie. but rhona mitra looked really good threw out.

  2. teddy crescendo4/16/2019 6:47 PM

    I want to bugger Rhona Mitra (as the bird was in 1994 when the bird was 18, not as the bird is now obviously).