Top 3 Five Spinkicks Movies of 2008

Rating:

Besides the #1 pick in my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008 (which will come on Friday), only 3 movies were granted 5 spinkicks this year.

The 5 spinkicks movies of 2008, all 3 are non horror related. They made me feel so giddy with excitement that I was happy happy joy joy after experiencing these flicks. These were the movies you wanted to see again right after watching them. These were the movies that made you go "Fuck Yeah! That was soooo awesome!"

5 spinkick movies are rare, but every once in a while, you know 10 minutes in that you're seeing something special, leaving even the most jaded viewer jaw dropped.

Click on the titles for my reviews of these films (except Rambo).

So without further delay, on to the list!

3.) Rambo

Directed by Sylvester Stallone

Rocky Balboa was good, but Rambo was Stallone's ultimate blast off comeback. So bloody, gutty and splatter-ific, this is the Rambo we only heard about in those 'Nam Special Ops stories.

The cruelty of the enemy, the mercenaries for hire, the Julie Benz gratuitous cleavage.

But its Stallone as John fuckin Rambo that made this transcend normal action and into stratosphere action. All he wants to do is bag some snakes and live monk peacefully but they always fuckin drag him back in to kick ass.

And he's a bitter old soldier. From arm decaps to the gratuitous over the top gore of a 50 cal, he obiliterated the enemy in the best action scenes of the year.

Rambo was the best action movie of 2008 and Stallone just keeps reminding us he is still on top of the uber action movie.

2.) JCVD

Directed by Mabrouk El Mechri

JCVD is by far JCVD's best movie since Bloodsport. How can Van Damme fuck up playing a variation of himself?

From the paraodic opening scene in a Bulgarian straight to DVD movie to the Van Damme kick demonstration, JCVD satires Van Damme, plays to his strengths and leaves us questioning what this meglomaniacal man has been thinking since he left the Hollywood system.

In one final climactic scene, we the fans get what we wanted as we see Van Damme kicks ass in front of the crowd. He then proceeds to high five fellow officers and taps his chest in a moment of total self ego.

Totally fuckin awesome. So classic. So Van Damme.

And if you are a Van Damme fan, this is must see.

Check out the full review here.

1.) Chocolate

Prachya Pinkaew, the director of awesome-rific films Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong, is the reigning king of action cinema.

And Chocolate again shows why guns and shootouts are fuckin overrated.

It's been a while since a full out martial arts flick totally blew me away.

JeeJa Yanin is breathtaking as Zen, an autistic girl who accumulates her martial arts skills by watching who else...Tony Jaa. Her muay thai skills are unfuckinbelievable and as always, there are no stunt doubles and all the action stunts you see are as is.

Fuck the plot and any character development. It's totally irrelelevant. What you came here to see is non stop muay thai choreography at its finest.

Non existent plot and motive plus the fact that the last 30 minutes were all action makes this one of the best films of 2008. Chocolate hit on all cylinders of what it was suppose to be. A non stop action sequence from start to finish.

Now top that Tony Jaa.

Check out my review for descriptions of all the action scenes of the movie.

Tags:
top 5 spinkick movies of 2008, top movies 2008 , rambo , jcvd, gratuitous nudity, chocolate, top action movies 2008, jean claude van damme, top 10 horror movies 2008, top 10 2008, 5 spinkicks, jadedviewer

Categories: chocolate, chocolate review, jadedviewer, JCVD, JCVD review, rambo, top 3 five spinkick movies of 2008, top 3 non horror movies, top 5 spinkick movies of 2008

Chocolate (Review)

Chocolate

Chocolate (2008)

Directed by Prachya Pinkaew

Prachya Pinkaew, the director of awesome-rific films Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong , is the reigning king of action cinema.

And Chocolate again shows why guns and shootouts are fuckin overrated.

It's been a while since a full out martial arts flick totally blew me away.

JeeJa Yanin is breathtaking as Zen, an autistic girl who accumulates her martial arts skills by watching who else...Tony Jaa. Her muay thai skills are unfuckinbelievable and as always, there are no stunt doubles and all the action stunts you see are as is. The outtakes are at the end.

Fuck the plot and any character development. It's totally irrelelevant. What you came here to see is non stop muay thai choreography at its finest. This is vintage Jackie Chan (ala Police Story) with stunts, jumps, flips and the backround as weaponry.

Boring Plot-O-Matic (thanks IMDB)

An autistic woman with powerful martial art skills looks to settle her ailing mother's debts by seeking out the ruthless gangs that owe her family money.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

OK. The plot above is why all these elaborate fight scenes develop. Zen and her cousin need money to help her mom buy badly needed medicine. They first use Zen's autistic skills via a ball toss exhibition. But they know they need more cash so they seek out the local gang owned businesses that owe her mom money. This soon ticks off the crime overlord and soon he's on their tail.

Zen also loves chocolate M&M's (hence the title), loves her Teddy Bear and has a fear of flies. This all comes into play during whats to play out.

But really that was all irrelevant.

For this review, for all intended purposes, is to grade each of the fight scenes on a number grade from 1 to 10 with 1 being shitty to 10 being fuckin awesome.

So let's get started.

1.) Hoodrats fight scene

Some teenage hoodrats test Zen's catching skills with a knife. She then uses an arsenal of mimicked Tony Jaa moves to go all Ong Bak on them. This was 18 minutes in and you get a good taste of whats to come. Like some chicken wings as an appetizer. You know it's going to get better.

Rating - 6.0

2.) Ice Factory fight scene

After a anime moment of clarity and 33 minutes in, we get the ice factory fight scene. Wow. Totally awesome. Zen shows off her mega lightning kicks and disposes of henchman without a sweat. Blocks of ice can't stop our little Zen.

Rating - 7.5

3.) Warehouse fight scene

38 minutes in, Zen is in full effect. She's using the warehouse as a weapon of mass destruction. Slipping in through tight spots and using lockers, chairs and cardboard boxes as a playground of weaponry, it's a beautiful thing to watch.

Spinkicks, swipe kicks, flying backward spin kicks, flying splits and a few comedy kicks to boot. And the climax is a slide under a glass table that only Zen could pull off. FUCK YEAH!!! Poor henchman. Why do they keep trying?

Rating - 8.0

4.) Meat Factory/Butchery fight scene

Does Zen have a weakness? Well remember that fear of flies? Well Houston, we have a problem. But thanks to her cousin whose there with a electronic fly swatter, problem solved.

45 minutes in, we are going to see meat cleavers and knives and a spinkick-palooza. Never has a butchery ever been so critical to some ass kicking. A few sporadic funny ha ha's during the fight scene with some elbows to the head make this one of the most entertaining fight scenes ever. The stunt team is so critical to the action. They are the one's getting hit and they are getting hit really fuckin hard. Kudos to them.

Rating - 8.0

5.) Rooftop restaurant fight scene (with Mini boss #1!)

Let's just list some fragmented action highlights. Elbows through the head. Knees to the face. Some acrobatic kicks to the face. A fight scene that takes place with Zen crouched down under some pipes. All this climaxes to a knee to the head that is without a doubt the best I've ever seen.

Rating - 9.0


6.) Restaurant dojo fight scene

No holds barred as we get an onslaught of henchman for Zen to kick the shit out off. This is muay thai action at its finest. All the kicks and elbows and punches are perfectly timed. The flips and jumps all choreographed without any flaws. 360 spinkicks to the back of of the head. Just beautiful. A knee to the face in awesome-rific slo mo. Oh yeah.

And we're not even done!!!

Because the next scene is probably the most politically incorrect thing you'll ever see in an action movie. BUT WHO FUCKIN CARES!!! IT'S FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!

BIG SPOILER BELOW!!!!

Zen has to face off against the crime lord's biggest weapon yet. An autistic mini boss #2!!!!

This dude in glasses and an Adidas track suit has some autism too and he's as spazzy as can be. Plus he's got this breakdancing muay thai style she's never seen. Zen gets her ass kicked but she uses her snapshot focused brain to mimic her enemy. Soon she's spazzing and kicking mini boss #2 unconcious. The finishing move is just totally unbelievable. Bless all stunt wire work!!!

You have see this to believe it. SO AWESOME I THINK I WET MYSELF.

END BIG SPOILER!!!!

But it's not over yet. We get a samurai sword-palooza and soon Zen has snapshot her dad's moves to eliminate this threat.

Which then leads too...........

Rating - 9.5

7.) Side of the building fight scene (FINAL BOSS SCENE!!)

This is single handidly the best fight scene on the side of a building EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zen has to chase final boss through a parade of fire escapes, neon signs and the side of a train platform. It perfectly plays out. Because you know henchmen are gonna fall down some 2 stories...badly.

A great way to end the film. The final fight scene is everything you wanted it to be. Such killer stunts and action sequences, I can't believe they accomplished all of this in less than 90 minutes.

Rating - 10.0

Influences

Are you kidding me? Prachya Pinkaew and his stunt team are their own influence on other films.

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

This ain't horror son.

Nude-ipedia

Dude, this ain't horror.

WTF moment

The spoiler scene listed above. I lost my shit when I saw it. So awesome.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

This may be the first movie I may give 5 spinkicks too. But I'll give it 4 plus an extra spinkick for being so awesome. Non existent plot and motive plus the fact that the last 30 minutes were all action makes this one of the best films of 2008. Chocolate hit on all cylinders of what it was suppose to be. A non stop action sequence from start to finish.

Now top that Tony Jaa.

Rating:

plus one more for being awesome

Check out the trailer below (with English subs!)

Tags:
chocolate, chocolate trailer , chocolate thai action , ong bak, tony jaa, JeeJa Yanin, top movies of 2008, muay thai, thai action movie, Prachya Pinkaew, tom yum goong, chocolate review,

Categories: action cinema, chocolate, chocolate review, chocolate thai action, chocolate trailer, JeeJa Yanin, muay thai, Prachya Pinkaew, thai movies, tom yum goong, tony jaa

Chocolate (Trailer)

Ever wonder if Tony Jaa was a hot looking Thai kick ass autistic woman?

Well the director of awesome-rific films Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong , Prachya Pinkaew has decided to answer that question. And the result is Chocolate.

This is why Prachya Pinkaew is the reigning king of action cinema.

I love the ridiculous plot (thanks IMDB)

An autistic woman with powerful martial art skills looks to settle her ailing mother's debts by seeking out the ruthless gangs that owe her family money.

JeeJa Yanin is breathtaking in the trailer below. Her muay thai skills are unfuckinbelievable and as always, there are no stunt doubles and all the action stunts you see are as is.

Holy shit this is going to kick major fuckin ass.

Check out the trailer below (with English subs!)

Tags:
chocolate, chocolate trailer , chocolate thai action , ong bak, tony jaa, JeeJa Yanin, top movies of 2008, muay thai, amy smart naked, thai action movie, Prachya Pinkaew, tom yum goong,

Categories: action cinema, chocolate, chocolate thai action, chocolate trailer, JeeJa Yanin, muay thai, Prachya Pinkaew, thai movies, tom yum goong, tony jaa