Rubber (Review)

Rubber

Rubber (2011)

Directed by Quentin Dupieux

"Why is ET gray?....No reason"

"Why is the president killed by someone he's never met in JFK?....No reason"

"Why does Robert the tire kill people with his telekinetic powers?.....No reason"

There is a lot of "no reason" in movies Quentin Dupieux through the character Lt Chad likes to tell us in the opening of Rubber. I'd never really given it great thought. Filmmakers slip in a deux ex machinas and you rarely question it. Maybe even a twist that makes no sense. But rarely does a movie go full frontal no reason like Rubber does. If the movie is trying to either make a statement about no reason in films or exists for no reason, you be the judge. All I can say is that it's an absurd motion picture that I thoroughly enjoyed. And I'm here to give you the reasons why I think it's one of the best of 2011.

At the end of the day Rubber is about the birth and journey of a tire that has telekinetic powers. But somehow it's also about the audience's perception of what they're seeing. Rubber has both as the audience we see is not us, but actual spectators in a hill in the middle of a desert town armed with binoculars watching this killer tire's life as it unfolds. Lost yet?

This is a meta and surreal film that reminds me why I love independent film. French filmmaker Dupieux takes Austin weird to a whole new dimension with Rubber. This is the first time in a long time I've seen a movie that's just a likeable oddity. It looks indie-ish and has a bunch of no name actors and a soundtrack that emotes the feelings of our viciously evil tire.

Rubber treads on the road of hilarity, 4th wall hypnosis and goretastic awesomness and is the most original movie I've seen in quite a while. The neo cinephiles will eat up this kookiness, regular moviegoers beware. The film is mocking you and you don't know it.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

When Robert, an inanimate tire, discovers his destructive telepathic powers, he soon sets his sights on a desert town; in particular, a mysterious woman becomes his obsession.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Honestly, how could I resist not watching a movie about a killer tire? As the movie starts, we see a sheriff breaking the 4th wall and reciting a speech with examples of no reasons in movies. The thing about breaking the 4th wall is it's automatically telling the audience we're going to flip the reality from you for the next 80 or so minutes. You're going to have to decide if the entire flick is a "no reason" film or are we watching a tire kill people for....well....no reason.

You either buy into it or you don't. I did because hell I've never seen a telekinetic "live" tire blow people's heads off. We see Robert the Tire awake and start to wreak havoc across the desert. He starts smashing things like a good tire would and when he can't he uses the power of his mind to blow up random wildlife.

Oh and it's gloriously awesome to see rabbits and birds explode into itsy bits of chunky goodness.

Meanwhile, a group of spectators with binoculars are watching these events unfold and are our sort of voice in the movie. These include a father and son, a wheelchair vet, a few chubby movie geeks, some tweeny girls and a boisterous black woman. As we watch the flick, they comment on exactly what we're thinking. It's a weird telepathic bond. An example is at one point one of the spectators, a boy says "It's already boring" and his father responds "Don't be so negative. It's just the beginning. It's going to pick up. Just be patient". I was honestly thinking the same thing and I was like "GET OUT OF MIND!!!"

It's this self awareity humor that makes you chuckle and admit the cleverity of it all is something you kinda think is hipster-ish cool. This is a modern day hipster movie with various scenes that will make the highest stoner laugh.

Soon our tire sees a hot girl, Sheila driving in a convertible and seamlessly gets obsessed with her. But this isn't before a few victim fodder fuck up our tire accidentally. Note to self: Never mess with a tire with psychic powers. Your Gore-ipedia includes some stellar (non CGI?) exploding heads that are insanely hilarious in that Scanners sort of way. Later in a motel, our tire voyeurs after Sheila and spends a few minutes watching TV?!?!

Yes, we see a tire watching TV (you know he loves the NASCAR).

With the deaths of a few more victims who've pissed off Rob after he sees a genocide on his people, the police are called into action and we get a unique speech from our Sheriff explaining to his deputies that "this isn't real life". Again the 4th wall is breaking down and culminates in our sheriff giving a demonstration of his theory. To say this is off the wall is not doing any justice. There is completely no logic in the movie and to try to understand Rubber is pointless as you watch it. You have to constantly keep reminding yourself that every question you may have should end with the words "no reason".

As the police close in on our berserk tire, an elaborate plan is executed to destroy the tire once and for all. The ending has more metaness in it and the last scenes are clearly a mock on the place where no reason movies come from.

The performances by the spectators (especially Wings Hauser as the wheelchair Vet), our inept sheriff (Stephen Spinella) and an accountant (Jack Plotnick from Reno 911 fame) are all quirky and ambitiously vague. Their performances are straight even though the scenes are completely weird. I must admit, watching Roxanne Mesquida as Sheila gave me a weapon of mass erection.

The film is shot and edited quite well. Sure we know somebody is rolling around the tire as they film but it seems so seamless. The CGI showing the tire spinning on its own is quite extraordinary. We even get a soundtrack that shows the emotion of our tire telling us he's either happy or angry. He may not be a name brand tire, but he's got personality. It's also got the funniest dialogue and odd observations as well. The spectators conversations to each other are like a sitting with Mike, Tom Servo and Croooooooooooooooow!

So what's the prognosis? Is Rubber a movie that exists for no reason or is there something that Dupiex is trying to say? I'm going with the latter though some may disagree. We constantly suspend disbelief when we watch movies from giant transforming robots to blue alien natives. We are asked to do it again with a killer tire that can explode heads. Why is one different than the other? It's not.

Rubber mocks the mockery by giving us scenes that exist for no reason but uber amplifies them into complete outrageousnessness you just go with it. The fact we can empathize with a tire says it all. If say the tire were an animal, the same emotional bond we would have would be the same. Hell I wanted Robert to fuck up anybody who was messing with him. Did I even question I was cheering for a tire?!?! Nope. Why would I?

Rubber is a throwback to all that is awesome about independent film like Linklater, Jarmusch and Kelly. Dupieux may not be on par with those names yet but he's brought back that vibe that percolated in the early 90s. Rubber is a genre film that somehow breaks all genres. I can't even generalize what it exactly is. It's a surreal-meta-weird horror comedy. It made me laugh countless times and made me think the rest of the time. Not a lot of movies can do that.

But the question you want to know is should you watch Rubber? I say yes and for one reason.

No Reason.

Nude-ipedia

We get some side flesh from Sheila

WTF moment

The entire film

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Rubber is currently on Video in Demand and comes out in theaters 4/1 via Magnet Releasing. Rubber may not be for everyone but if you enjoy watching the non Hollywood fare of indie cinema, Rubber is must see. It's the best movie about a tire that kills people you'll see this year.

The Vitals

• Official Site
  
• Facebook Page

Rating:


Check out the trailer below.





Red Band Trailer

Categories: 2011 horror movies, independent cinema, indepentent horror, indie film, indie horror, psycho killer, psychological horror, rubber, rubber trailer. rubber

A Jaded Viewer Giveaway: Win The Deadneks - Trilogy of Terror on DVD!

A few days ago, I reviewed The Deadneks - Trilogy of Terror for The Shortound.

It's a 27 minute grindhouse short via Ruckus Productions. The Deadneks - Trilogy of Blood features the psychobilly music of The Deadneks as it mixes a music video and mini exploitation homage as 3 city girls wind up in Bumfuck Hillbilly USA.

Here be the plot:

When a trio of sexy city gals picks up a broken-down hillbilly in the backwoods of Virginia – the three kittens get A LOT more than they bargained for when they accept the drifter’s invitation to a down-home barbecue. What these lovely ladies don’t know just may hurt ‘em – when they find that the menu of this hayseed hoe-down isn’t the standard ‘burgers and dogs’…

Well I have 2 DVD copies of The Trilogy of Terror that I'm giving away. I'm not going to have you jump through a hoop this time to enter. All you need to do is leave your name and e-mail address in the comments and you'll be automatically entered. US only residents. At the end of the month, I'll randomly pick 2 winners.

That's it.

Thanks to Charlie Ruckus for providing the DVDs for this giveaway. Say thanks by following him on Twitter @ruckusprod and checking out the official site.

Check out the trailer below to see what the film is all about.

Categories: contest, giveaway, horror giveaway, jadedviewer, jadedviewer.com, the jaded viewer

Director Eric England defends "cliched" Madison County trailer

I usually only post a trailer of an upcoming horror movie if I really like the flick or I think it's inventive, creative or unique. We can watch these trailers anywhere, so there really is no need to post it up on the jaded viewer.

But I did get a press release for an upcoming slasher film called Madison County and I checked out the trailer. So what's this about?

Madison County is about a group of college students that travel to a remote, mountain town called Madison County to interview the author of a tell-all book on the accounts of the grisly murders that happened in the town over two decades ago.

Upon their arrival, the author is no where to be found and the townspeople state that they've "not seen him in years." They also deny that Damien Ewell, the notorious murderer, ever existed and that the murders never happened. As the kids start to dig around to get their own answers, they come to find that the stories, and Damien, maybe more real than the townspeople are letting on.

Now check out the trailer.



Let's break this down like Donkey Kong.

• Naked blonde girl running on a dirt road
  
• Redneck Cannibal Town, USA
• Dumb urban college students
• Private Property? Fuck that!
• Deserted house with wind chimes!
  
• Slasher with pig mask and big fuckin ax
• Local townie that warns dumb Ambercrombie and Fitch dumb white kids to leave
  
• Quickly edited running around montage
  
• Slasher swing and a miss
• Hostages with no hope of surviving
• A random oozing of blood
• A name to our slasher that sounds really familiar
• Face molestation
• Title Card!
• "Inspired by True Events" declaration
• Last "scare" shot

Yeah I just listed many of the cliches and slasher formulas we've seen before.

So why am I talking about a cliched upcoming slasher flick? Because it's a cliched slasher flick. The director of Madison County Eric England recently wrote an interesting article defending his movie and trailer in his blog which you can find here.

He wrote: "I didn't pitch this film as "the most original slasher film ever made" when I tried to get it made. In fact, slasher films themselves have been done to death. But that's exactly why I wanted to make Madison County. I LOVE Slasher films. Love them. And I want to see them live on."

He goes on to say that he loved Adam Green's Hatchet and that most movies are retelling of the same stories over and over again. Well this got me thinking. Can I really bash Madison County's trailer because I think it has those overused slasher cliches when I wrote a review of Hatchet and Hatchet 2 praising the slasher cliches in Adam Green's films?

Ah ha you're saying right now. Would I be a hypocrite for doing such a thing? Am I contradicting myself for asking indie horror filmmakers to make creative and new films but praising films that follow the same old formula? For instance, I liked Laid to Rest for being a cliched sorta new slasher film and Slither for being an homage monster slug movie. If I like those Hollywood is going to keep remaking those flicks. I'm just contributing to the Hollywood machine aren't I?

Regular loyal jaded viewers know I support indie horror and will try to hold judgement on a movie before I see it. But when I watch a trailer that seems generic, I kinda start forming an opinion in my head. After seeing so many horror movies, especially slasher flicks you know what's coming. You know all the tricks, the stereotypical characters, the BOO! shots. The one thing that Hatchet had going for it was the kill scenes were pure blood drenched gore-tastic moments that made your jaw drop....literally.

So I make a call out to Mr. Eric England.

I want to know what's different about Madison County from the other slasher films we've all seen? Explain to me why I should see college kids get sliced and diced in Redneck Country, USA by a slasher in a pig's mask?

Every new slasher is a little different, has a unique backstory and can kill in new and inventive way. I'm hoping Damien has a little creativity in him. Hell he has some farm supplies he can arm himself with. Let me know what's going to separate Madison County apart from the rest. That's all I ask.

As for my fellow jaded viewers, my question is this. Are we all being hypocritical when we praise a slasher flick filled with the same old cliches but demand Hollywood stop making remakes?

What do you all think?

Categories: 2011 horror movies, 80s slasher horror, hatchet, hatchet 2, madison county, slasher films, slashers, texas chainsaw massacre

Homemade Monster (Review)

Homemade Monster

Homemade Monster (2008)

Directed by Brandon and Leia Gadow

Fresh from the jaded viewer indie mailbox, I was sent a very DIY film by Brandon and Leia Gadow of Scumbag Films. When I say DIY, I mean it. Scumbag Films based out of San Diego is run by this husband and wife team and they do it all. Act, produce, write and direct. They've produced a wide variety of music driven films and in Homemade Monster, which was made for around $400 they create a musical revolving around that old reliable Frankenstein cliche.

I gotta admit, I've seen some low budget indie films but I've never seen a low budget rockabilly horror musical. And if I, the jaded viewer have never seen it, you earn bonus points just on that.

Homemade Monster may have been made on a dollar cent budget but it's got a mixture of indie spirit and a killer soundtrack that make it a Misfits song come to life. It's clear Mr. and Mrs Scumbag are amateurs in the filmmaking world, but this musical has lots of ambition and they don't overdue it or try to hard.

What you get is a funny, jazzy DIY film that's like seeing a garage band music video.

Oh yeah it's got boobs and blood too.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Faced with an unspeakable act at her own hands, she attempt to rectify the situation and since she is frustrated with men, our heroine decides to make her own. This story is about her struggle to gather the necessary parts, put together and animate the man of her dreams. Music by The Jim Rowdy Show, who’s psychobilly rock and roll parallels our character’s
inner turmoil but hopefulness.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Leia wants a man with all the qualities that will make a lasting relationship. Somebody who cares, has brains and of course has a big dick. After a fight with her boyfriend she drugs and kills him and comes up with the bright idea to make her own new super boyfriend by assembling them out of the parts of various dudes.

Well that's the the gist of the story.

The film which runs about 45 or so minutes is littered with rockabilly tunes delivered by Leia as she sings her troubles, her plans and her ultimate goals. Some are catchy like the opening number and a song where she seduces a bar patron. They all have their country twang sound with a psychobilly beat and I'll admit, it's a bit catchy.

The big number comes after Leia assembles a brain from a yawny professor, a heart from a chubby bartender and Johnson from a big ole cowboy, she finally finishes assembling her masterpiece. Now all frisky she goes all stripteasy, gets topless and makes monster grunty with her dream man. We get lyrics like "cuz I am bringing you to life." as she tries different methods to zap him to life.

However it gets kinda repetitive at times and with all musical numbers you expect a elaborate dance routine to accompany the beat. We get sporadic moments of a choreographed number but mostly it's singing with monotonous acting.

The acting and singing are all pretty solid but the glaring oddness of it all is the lack of budget. I'm not going to criticize the film because of that but it's pretty funny to see SyFy-ish rain and lightning, a beer can labeled beer and some cardboardy acting by the other actors. Some scenes were way too dark but I wouldn't expect we'd get proper lighting on a $400 budget. During a penultimate scene where our Mrs. Frankenstein wishes her monster to "come alive!" we hear a dog barking in the background. It seems intentional but I got a chuckle out of the homemade-ness of it all.

The film is decently made for a husband and wife team with no film making experience. They do a good job of getting set ups to music numbers and there were different settings. But at the end of the day, it's all about the music and as a punk rocker in a former life, I dug the tunes. If you enjoy listening to the rockabilly you'll enjoy this rockabilly horror music video.

I can rest easy now that I've watched my first ever rockabilly horror musical. I can check that off my bucket list.


The Vitals

• The official site
• Facebook Page
• YouTube Videos
• Twitter Page
  

Rating:
1/2

Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2008 horror dvd, homemade monster, indie film, indie horror, monster movie, musical

The Shortround: The Deadneks Trilogy of Blood (Review)

If you have an indie short, our motto at the jaded viewer is we'll review it. So our latest edition of The Shortround is a grindhouse short via Ruckus Productions called The Deadneks - Trilogy of Blood. Featuring the psychobilly sickos The Deadneks, we get a full blown exploitation homage as 3 city girls wind up in Bumfuck Hillbilly USA.

Here be the plot:

When a trio of sexy city gals picks up a broken-down hillbilly in the backwoods of Virginia – the three kittens get A LOT more than they bargained for when they accept the drifter’s invitation to a down-home barbecue. What these lovely ladies don’t know just may hurt ‘em – when they find that the menu of this hayseed hoe-down isn’t the standard ‘burgers and dogs’…

the jaded viewer says: Shot on a claimed budget of $62, Trilogy of Blood is a 27 minute long Deadneks music video with a Herschel Gordon Lewis grindhouse homage blended in. Ruckus Productions spared no expense (well maybe expenses for beer, Spencer Gifts decaped arms and blood and more beer) to give us a look and feel of an exploitation film circa the 70s. The tagline says it all:

SEE the BLOOD! FEEL the TERROR! HEAR the PSYCHOBILLY SICKNESS!!!! Experience the sensory TRIPLE-SKULL-FUCK that is…TRILOGY OF BLOOD!!!!!!!!

Damn that's alot of exclamation points.

Add in the grainy staticky footage and some Gordon Lewis homages from 2000 Maniacs to Blood Feast and you got a nice decent short with 3 performances by The Deadneks whose punk rock style is a blend of The Misfits, The Cramps and Reverend Horton Heat. I haven't heard psychobilly punk in a while since my early punk rock days and it was nice to hear some good tunes while seeing ocular trauma, smashed heads and cannibal rednecks. We even get a horrific chubby fuck, incest makeout session and a boink-o-thon on a tractor trailer.

I've never seen that before.

Trilogy of Terror is grindhouse schlock with a killer soundtrack that horror and punk rock fans should check it out. I'm not saying it's the best the grindhouse has to offer but it's got all the basics and cliches and offers nothing more, nothing less.

Boobs, blood, beer and rock and roll. If that's your poison, check it out.

The Vitals

• Fun Fact: Brenna Roth (daughter of David Lee Roth) stars as one of the girls
• Picked to be part of the Underground Horror Fest II taking place in March of 2011
• 2010 Horrorfind Weekend and Fright Night Filmfest selection
• Official Site
• Facebook Page

Check out the trailer!

Categories: 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, gore, grindhouse, horror short, indie film, punk rock, short, short film, splatter, the shortround

Black Death (Review)

Black Death

Black Death (2011)

Directed by Christopher Smith

"The twist of Black Death is there is no twist"

-Director Chris Smith in a Q&A after the NYC premiere of Black Death

Let me give you some context of where that quote came from. I was lucky enough to attend the NYC premiere of Black Death, the latest film from British director Christopher Smith who has given us some gems as Triangle (its #10 on my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010) and Severance.

He was in attendance and gave an opening speech before the film and a Q&A after the film which was hosted by UGO.com. One of the LOLs he told the packed theater was the mercenaries in the film got to pick their weapons based on there rankings on IMDB. Hence Sean Bean getting an awesome sword. I got to talk to him after the film which was kind of all sorts of awesome.

But let's talk about Black Death.

Black Death is a medieval throwback that stabs and slices with intense battle scenes and also challenges your cerebral with religious themes and the quest for power. It's an unbelievably constructed film that stays true to being a 14 century story without going into the ridiculous of being Monty Python. Smith takes the setting of the times of the bubonic plague and spins a story that you'll think about weeks after you've seen the film while balancing it out with characters that you empathize with. Only a master storyteller can keep you interested in such a tale and Smith just does that.

I had no idea what I was going to get going in. Would it be filled with ridiculous scenes of gore and splatter ala Severance? Would it be a thinking man's film like Triangle? Somehow Smith somehow takes both worlds and blends a thinking man's LOTR. Black Death is seriously entertaining and when you get to the end, you'll be mesmerized by the journey you've just seen.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

The year is 1348. Europe has fallen under the shadow of the Black Death. As the plague decimates all in its path, fear and superstition are rife. In this apocalyptic environment, the church is losing its grip on the people. There are rumors of a village, hidden in marshland that the plague cannot reach. There is even talk of a necromancer who leads the village and is able to bring the dead back to life.

Ulric (Sean Bean), a fearsome knight, is charged by the church to investigate these rumors. He enlists the guidance of a novice monk, Osmund (Eddie Redmayne) to lead him and his band of mercenary soldiers to the marshland, but Osmund has other motives for leaving his monastery. Their journey to the village and events that unfold take them into the heart of darkness and to horrors that will put Osmund’s faith in himself and his love for God to the ultimate test.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Clearly the film has to establish we're in a time of pestilence and we get to see the havoc wrought by the plague. Boiled littered bodies, burnt and barely alive litter the streets of a small English town. We meet Osmund, a young monk who is not as virtuous as he seems. Later, a knight, Ulric (Sean Bean) visits the monastery and tells the Abott ("It's that guy!", David Warner) he needs a guide to investigate a town that has not been ravaged by the plague. Osmund volunteers and they begin their journey into the marsh within the forest.

Ulric is accompanied by a band of misfits who are only on this mission for money. The mission? Find an evil necromancer where claims of the dead coming back to life have been heard and bring him back to the bishop. The gang is filled with a variety of weirdos. A former executioner, a Frenchman and a few rogues.

They soon see villagers who are about to burn a witch. Ulric takes matters into his own hands and kills her. The film starts to reveal the men on this journey. They all reveal their motives to the monk, who also has his own motive for being on this mission. When one of their team falls to the plague, Hob a sort of 2nd in command does the dirty deed of executing the sick man. It's this development of character that shows Black Death is not just a quest flick but one that develops the emotional impact the pestilence has on the people it surrounds.

But what's a medieval movie without some random violence and slaughter? Smith makes sure we get a meal full as a group of bandits attacks them. Sword play is the main attraction but we get even more brutality than an iron maiden. Your Gore-ipedia includes necks snappage, sliced throats, arms are severed, heads decapped and spiky hammers trauma. Oh it's damn glorious all of it. And there isn't much CGI blood thank goodness. The civil savagery of it all is a ballet of splatter. Good times.

They finally get to the village and are greeted with open arms. What they see is a village without any signs of the plague and where the women outnumber the men. A woman, Langiva is the leader and she takes a liking to our young monk, as she heals his wounds. They go all Medieval Times and drink some mead and Ulric notices something isn't right. This leads to frenetic reveal that this village is not of God but worships something else.

The men are soon tortured and are given a choice to denounce their God or die. And die they will. Oh my. Some of the men seek death and do not betray their God. The torture our mercenaries endure is insanely awesome. Let me say it just involves rope and horses. It's not until we see what the monk does and what our hot Langiva reveals do we get the full impact of Black Death.

The themes within Black Death are complicated and layered. Smith wants you to pick a side but endorses neither of them. It's a skilled manipulation of the film to tug your emotions one way and then give you a different POV the next. Christianity is portrayed not as the "good" religion compared to the necromancer's "evil" belief, but a way to show you man's control for power. And it goes both ways. Christianity or Necromancy is but a quest for power by the people who seek it. In a time of despair and hopelessness, one man's religion is anothers blinded folly.

Our monk sees the magic involved when he witnesses his true love Averill "risen" from the grave. Is this magic or something else? Higher beings, sorcery and magic are staples of medieval films. Black Death shows us humanity faced with challenges and given the option of living or dying, many may select the option you don't necessarily think they'll make. Many of these themes hold true today which is why Black Death echoes so well.

The ending will make your jaw drop and you won't see it coming. Well I didn't. It's an ending that fits the atmosphere of the movie and everything that came before it. Smith later revealed in the Q&A that the completed ending was not what was originally scripted. The original ending involved a battle in hell?!? Jeez. Thank goodness Smith took over this film.

Sean Bean plays the noble knight solidly but its Eddie Redmayne as the young monk who's evolution we relate to the most. He fell in love with a woman Averill and has to prioritize who he loves more, God or her. It's a intense emotional journey for Osmund and Redmayne does a phenomenal job. Performances by Carice Van Houten as Langiva are also strong.

The only gripe I would say is we did not see more of the POV of the villagers and of Langiva. I wanted to see what the villagers conflict of denouncing God and choosing their new belief system.

Black Death is a conflict waiting for you to see. A conflict of the body vs disease, man vs man and belief vs non belief. The contradictions man has to endure are as brutal as the battles and Black Death makes you experience all of these. There is no twist in Black Death. The only curveball is that it's brutally honest right up to the very end about the plight of humanity during one of the worst periods in history.

Nude-ipedia

Nada

WTF moment

The ending

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Black Death is currently on Video in Demand and comes out in theaters March 11th. Don't miss this epic film. It's clearly one of the best films of 2011. And if you want to complete your Smith filmography check out Triangle, Severance and Creep as well.

The Vitals

• The official site
• Facebook Page
• UGO.com coverage of Black Death premiere
• Black Death Review from Planet of Terror
  

Rating:
1/2

Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, black death, indepentent horror, indie film, indie horror, severance, triangle

The Shortround: Worm (Review)

With all the hoopla in Wisconsin about unions and teachers unions being underfunded and teachers jobs being cut, it's kinda ironic that I watched Richard Powell's 20 minute short Worm. It's produced by Zach Green and on the surface it's about a teacher with a serious darkside. On the inside, it's like watching the mind of a volcano about to explode.

Here be the plot.

A day in the mind of Geoffrey Dodd, a seemingly kind, gentle and sane High School teacher. As we follow Geoffrey through the course of a typical school day we gain an eerie insight into the darkest corners of his soul and beyond. Beneath the carefully constructed veneer of Geoffrey Dodd lies something wretched, insidious and foul rotting him from the inside out.

the jaded viewer says: Geoffrey has the shittiest job other than being a guidance counselor, being a teacher. Can you really educate the youth of America today in a world filled with distractions from Facebook and Twitter to Lady Gaga and Eminem? What do our teachers really think of the students they teach?

I really think it's not to far from what our disturbed teacher Geoffrey thinks. As we follow him along on a typical school day, we the audience get to hear what he's thinking like a twisted version of What Women Want. The narration is odd the first time you hear it but his ramblings are clearly what drives this short.

From mocking the dumb students to raging jealousy of the smart students, we hear his insults and his anger. After a few breaks in the teachers conference room, Geof blasts his fellow staff with a running commentary of the hot well dressed teacher's smarts to the fat teacher who he wants to have another heart attack.

It also seems he's writing a love story in his spare time but is interrupted by another fellow teacher with a dying mom. Geof lacks compassion and his thoughts echo that same view. Oh he says all the right things in reality and in face to face conversations, but we see his 2 face and slowly we begin to hate his guts.

At the tale end of the film, we begin to see he is enamored by one of his female students. A Lifetime movie of the week with kidanpping and To Catch a Predator overtones starts to seep into his narration. By the end we feel a reverse Columbine about to happen. What do you think happens?

Worm is clearly a play on the apple on a teacher's desk. It's a wonderful experimental short that blends noir-ish cliches into a modern day horror film. It sometimes strays into repetitiveness and hearing a man's thoughts like we were telepathic gets kinda irritating after a while. If somehow Worm was balanced with some suspense or another POV, it might have given it a counterpoint. Instead we get one man's drawl on his shitty life.

I liked it and if I had to pick a grade like our teacher Geoffrey does I'd give it 6/10. What he writes on one of his know it all students papers kinda holds true: YOU CAN DO BETTER :-)

The Vitals

• Official Site
• Facebook Page
• Worm Review on Planet of Terror
• Worm Review on All Things Horror
  

Check out the some clips below.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, horror short, independent cinema, indepentent horror, indie film, indie horror, psycho killer, serial killer movie, short film, the shortround, worm

The Buffy Comic Giveaway Contest Winner is....

I'd like to thank everyone who participated in The Jaded Viewer's Buffy Comic Giveaway! I can't believe I got so many entries to this contest when I was only expecting maybe a dozen or so. Obvious nobody got the list of Big Bads wrong (you're all so Xander smart!) but the puns were priceless and I shared a few of them in the comments on the original post. Be sure to check them out.

Here's a couple of my favorites based on the clip below.

Here's mine:
"I'd like a Double Medley Burger, small fries and a dusted vamp to go please"

And here are your punny puns.

"Every time I pull out the stake, they make with the shock and the awww. Maybe I really do need a nametag."

Vampire:" You fight like a barbarian you prissy little......." (death stab)

"One vampire stake, extra dusty."

"Got wood? I do....wait, that didn't come out right."

"Sorry, all out of A1."

"No neck-sucking on face-suckers for you."

*After defeating 3 vampires*
"Well that was the worst Foursome ever."

"Well that's it. 3 spikes and I'm out."

"Oh C'mon, these teenagers fooling around have more endurance than that!"

*pulls stake out* : "two company"
*stakes vamp* "Three's a crowd"

If you came up with a pun, you got an extra entry into the contest.

And finally a special thanks to Whedonesque for the plug!

OK enough stalling. The winner of The Jaded Viewer Buffy Comic Giveaway Contest is.........

Chelsea from California!

Congrats Chelsea and thanks for participating. I'll be having more giveaways and I have another Buffy Comic Book to giveaway soon.

So check back real soon. Thanks to you all for making this an awesome contest!

Categories: buffy the vampire slayer, comic books. graphic novels, comics, giveaway, horror giveaway, jadedviewer, jadedviewer.com, joss whedon, sarah michelle gellar, the jaded viewer, whedonesque

The Shortround: Risen (Review)

We've got another edition of The Shortround. I had a chance to check out Gregory Kurczynski's Risen, a 23 minute short that blends 2 genres that take Dexter into Romero territory. It's a fun little experiment in intertwining these two horror genres and the results are in. But before we get to that here be the plot.

A chance meeting between two lonely people leads to terror as a serial murderer chooses a new victim on a night when the dead rise to feast upon the flesh of the living.

the jaded viewer says: Risen is a film that plays on fears from all angles and does it adequately enough. We get to meet two lonely people Henry (Al Mauro) and Jen (Jennifer Ward) who chance encounter at bar. Jen's drowning her sorrows after a breakup and Henry seems preoccupied. This leads to some banter between the two and our first inclination Henry was more dangerous than we realized.

Overlapping their conversation is a TV broadcast informing the public of random acts of violence which seem kinda like the dead rising from the well....dead. It's spinkled in as background and if you didn't pay attention, you'd miss it.

Soon Henry has drugged and incapacitated Jen and goes all serial killer monologuey. You know it's the same old story. Women scorns man, man goes crazy, man starts crazy killing. The first act is all set up , the second bleeds serial killer motif and the final act blends the two together with a twist you can kinda see coming.

Risen makes its case to bridge the two genres and it decent enough. I was intrigued by Henry and his instability and I wanted to see how the zombies would get into the story. At one point Henry watches a count/counterpoint mock news program as they debate on whether or not the zombies are dead or just sick. It's a mockery that's works.

What I felt was lacking was the long filler scenes of Henry doing nothing but contemplating. He also spoke in such a whisper I couldn't hear what he was saying. A slice and dice pending torture went fade to black. WTF? C'mon now. We're all grown ups here. In order to see Henry as evil and despicable we gotta see him butcher and unfortunately we don't. A a viewer, we need to see the evil first hand so when our bad bad man gets his comeuppance, it's more rewarding. I felt kinda indifferent.

Risen has creativity and that's what makes it interesting to watch. Kurczynski clearly has a good idea and he fully developed a short that will make horror fans smile.

Risen is an experiment on being different and that's what independent horror is all about.

The Vitals

• The official site
• Facebook page
• Risen Review on The Man Cave

Check out the trailer.

RISEN Trailer from Gregory G. Kurczynski on Vimeo.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, horror short, independent cinema, indepentent horror, indie film, indie horror, risen, short, short film, the shortround

Hobo with a Shotgun (Review)

Hobo with a Shotgun

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

Directed by Jason Eisener

"Delivering justice, one shell at a time..."

Don't fuck with the homeless.

That's the lesson I learned after watching Hobo with a Shotgun, the infamous grindhouse trailer turned full frontal feature from director Jason Eisener. If this was the 3rd film in a triple feature with Planet Terror and Death Proof, I'd have to say it was the best of the three by far.

Hobo with a Shotgun punched me in the face with it's witty humor, clever cleverisms and pure blood drenched awesomeness. It's a time travel throwback to 80s Troma mixed in with Street Trash and would be a banned video nasty if this were 1985. Each scene is like a mini trailer in itself, which you could cut up and edit and make 10 more trailers out of the film.

But even though it's hilariously ridiculous and you start scratching your head with one WTF after the other, it still never loses it's power to make you laugh, make you scream and make you applaud like a pimp at a whore convention.

Hobo with a Shotgun hits harder than a cop during a riot. You're not going to get a better throwback grindhouse movie this year. And for the first time in a long time, I'm giving it the highest rating the jaded viewer can bestow.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A train pulls into the station - it's the end of the line. A Hobo jumps from a freight car, hoping for a fresh start in a new city. Instead, he finds himself trapped in an urban hell. This is a world where criminals rule the streets and Drake, the city's crime boss, reigns supreme alongside his sadistic murderous sons, Slick & Ivan.

Amidst the chaos, the Hobo comes across a pawn shop window displaying a second hand lawn mower. He dreams of making the city a beautiful place and starting a new life for himself. But as the brutality continues to rage around him, he notices a shotgun hanging above the lawn mower... Quickly, he realizes the only way to make a difference in this town is with that gun in his hand and two shells in its chamber.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

There's not an overcomplicated story here. The movie is exactly what the title says. It's about a hobo with a shotgun. But our hobo (Rutger Hauer) arrives in Scum Town (renamed Fuck town by the locals) and immediately realizes this is one fucked up town. The town is run by Drake (Brian Downey), a clean cut evil crime boss who with his two sons Slick and Ivan (who are preppie douchebag killers) are willing to display their cruel and unusual punishment to keep the locals in line.

Did I mention the film takes place circa sometime in the 80s?

That's the first thing that makes you go WTF. Our hobo wanders the streets and we see what he sees. Boom boxes, video cassette video cameras, arcade machines and 80s jazzy clothing that makes you think we're in some Beastie Boys video. And it wouldn't be the 80s without some fuckin coke right? Cocaine is like Krispy Kreme donuts. Everybody is addicted! The town is full of low life pimps, bumfight entrepreneurs and Santa child predators. It's a fuckin shitty place.

Soon he meets a hot prostitute Abby and saves her from the clutches of our asshole preps. Abby and our hobo seemed to be both misfits in a town full of crazies but they start to form a bond. When you think HWAS would start to slow down during these non gore soaked moments, it doesn't. The conversation between our Hobo and our whore are hilarious. From talking about bears, an alternate job for Abby and to our Hobo's dream of buying a lawnmower!?!? so he can start his own business, the ridiculous and over the top conversation is as equally if not more awesome than the succeeding gore and splatter that embody a homeless man exacting vengeance with a shotgun.

Which brings us to the grindhouse and exploitation masterpiece that's been constructed by Eisener. It has a look and feel of a grindhouse films from the opening titles (Filmed in Technicolor!) to the shades of green and red tints that resemble your vintage graininess. But red is the color that dominates Hobo with a Shotgun and we get buckets of it. Your Gore-ipedia includes ripped off heads, shotgun trauma, blood splatter windows, hand splatter, neck gore and some sick slice and dice.

Once we get to the mid camp ending, all hell has broken loose. After some close calls in a battle between Slick and Ivan versus Hobo and Abby Drake brings in the big guns called "The Plague" to take down our Hobo who's been cleaning the gutter trash criminals off the street. These 2 heavily armored metal rejects slaughter a hospital staff before we get a Mad Max finale complete with a Mexican standoff.

Rutger Hauer is nearly flawless as our 100% hobo vigilante. It's like he copied the persona of one of the bumfight participants and as he yammers in his peculiar conversations you get 100% hooked. He's an old cranky man who knows shit and Hauer makes it believable. Downey as Drake plays it pretty over the top and our two preppie douchebags (Gregory Smith and Nick Bateman) give performances like they were mutated evil from a John Hughes film. Molly Dunsworth as Abby evolves from down and out hooker to an ever dedicated sidekick and does a great job looking hot and kicking ass.

Everything from Hobo with a Shotgun is viciously fucked up. It lives up to it's title because it's initial premise evolves into a full frontal assault of pure tastelessness. From vulgarities revolving orifices to maddening threats of torture, it's going to be obscene just to be obscene. Damn how I love that. I love the fact it never wavers, never says let's be a little PG-13 here or be a little tame in this scene. Nope. It goes all out to make you feel like you've been exploited for having seen this. Your going to laugh at seeing somebody get the shit beaten out of em and your not going to feel guilty at all.

Neo grindhouse has been on the up and up with remakes of 70s cult classics being assembly line made. It's refreshing to see a homegrown (in this case Canada) being made. Hobo with a Shotgun is old and new. If this was made in the 80s, it would SO be remade by now. It's because of all this that I proudly give Hobo with a Shotgun the rare 4 spinkicks.

Now give that homeless man on the street corner some spare change or you might get a hole in your chest.

Nude-ipedia

We get some titties

WTF moment

The Plague battle an octopus?!?

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I was able to see this gem during a screening courtesy of Magnet Releasing. Hobo with a Shotgun comes out on April 1st on Demand and May 6th in theaters. Here are some interesting fun facts:

• Original grindhouse trailer was made for $150 and won the SXSW Tarantino/Rodriguez Grindhouse trailer competition
• The Director of Photagraphy is Karim Hussain who made the cult classic Subconscious Cruelty
• Producer Rob Cotterhill (with Eisener) made the short Treevenge
• Only a few scenes from the original fake trailer made it to the feature

The Vitals

• The offical site
• Facebook Page

Rating:

Check out the trailer.



Here's the original fake trailer

Categories: 2009 grindhouse movies, 2011 horror movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, hobo with a shotgun, quentin tarantino, robert rodriguez

The Time Life Books still creep me out!

I've been pulling double duty in the blog world as I've been trying to get my new Tumblr blog: Who is that hot ad girl? off the ground. That blog is dedicated to finding out who unknown actresses are in TV commercials. You should really check it out ;-)

But let's back to to your regularly scheduled jaded viewer programming.

Commercial hunting got me thinking about the scariest commercials I had seen as I was a kid and what popped into my head were those wickedly haunting Time Life books commercials dealing with the "Mysteries of the Unknown".

You remember them don't you?

I remember my friend giving me 3 of those books and I read it cover to cover. I mean all these concepts were so new to me and I dug the unexplained phenomenon and ate it up. It was perfect timing that The X Files debuted and I was so hooked. I currently even have a "I Want to Believe" poster hanging up in my home and it all stems from those books.

I watch those commercials again and I still get chills. Dismissed as coincidence? How do you explain that? I really don't know!!!

So let's go into the wayback time machine and check out the spookiest commercials from the pre-Internet age.








This one stars a young Julianne Moore!



And finally we have Time Life Horror Books starting with Wizards and Witches. I'm getting chills.



So how's that for some nostalgia? Jeff @ Dinner with Max Jenke also had some thoughts on these commercials too. So who remembers these creepy late night commercials?

Categories: book review, jadedviewer, the jaded viewer, time life books, Top Terrifying Supernatural Moments, ufos

Insano Steve’s One Sentence Reviews-O-Matic (Koreans are Wacky Edition)

It's this week's Insano Steve's one sentence review-o-matics. If you missed the previous editions, check out Perverted Militant Edition, Japanese Militant Edition and Slice and Dice Japanese Edition. I tasked Insano Steve to review every movie in his DVD collection but instead he gave one sentence reviews (lazy bastard).

This week's edition: Koreans are Wacky Edition! Enjoy.

• Memento Mori - The Korean lesbian atrocity. Nowhere near as good as I just made that sound.
  
  
• The Record - After making an impromptu snuff film, an exceptionally attractive Korean cast is killed off one by one. Chae Young Han!
  
  
• Attack the Gas Station - My personal favorite Korean movie. It's about a Korean gas station that is being held hostage. Features lots of wacky hijinks and assorted foolishness!
  

Categories: insano steve, korean horror, movie review of the day, steve's movie review of the day