Friday, September 19, 2008

Treevenge (Review)

Posted on 12:05 AM by the jaded viewer
Treevenge

Treevenge (2008)

Directed by Jason Eisener

Short films are sometimes a hit or miss. But one does come along that works perfectly as a short.

And that short is Treevenge directed by Jason Eisener.

Treevenge is one of the short films online now at the AMD Fantastic Fest Online.

What Treevenge should be called is Treepocalypse. A horror short that works perfectly as a horror-omedy.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Pine tree "victims" get massively "killed" and sold to the human murderers. But the trees get the last laugh.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

It's a 15 minute short but it's perfectly paced. The familiar eerie Cannibal Holocaust intro music opens up the first scene. The first 10 minutes are the slaughter of our little pine trees. The lumberjacks are evil, maniacally laughing as they chainsaw, ax and chop down these poor, defenseless trees.

Our tree victims talk in "tree talk" some sort of gibberish, baby squealing. Subtitles are added for us to hear them question why they are being holocausted to death.

It is the funniest thing I've seen this month.

Our trees are sold off for the holidays to families, couples unknown to them the trees are plotting their revenge.

Then they mock the trees by decorating them with shit. How much more can the trees take? It's like they are in Abu Gharib. What's next? Waterboarding the trees?

On Christmas morning, the human scum get all fucked up.

And the last 6 minutes are just awesome bloody slaughter. Totally the funniest splatter and gore in a short I've ever seen. From ocular trauma to infanticide. Each gory death made me say yay. (See the Goreipedia for a list of the kills)

The ha ha's are totally clever. We are portrayed as genocidal deviants and the ending makes me want to get an artificial tree for the holidays.

You gotta see this. And it's free. Treevenge is treeFUN!

Influences

Cannibal Holocaust
Horror-omedyies

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Little girl get mauled by the killer tree
Cat gets decapitated
Christmas Star to the neck trauma
DOUBLE OCULAR TRAUMA!!!
Leg amputation
TREE RAPE!!!!
INFANT - FUCKIN - CIDE!!!
A TREE STOMPING A FUCKIN BABY'S HEAD!!!!
Tree Holocaust

Nude-ipedia

I think I saw boobies.

WTF moment

A TREE STOMPED ON A FUCKIN BABY'S HEAD!!!!

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The AMD Fantastic Fest Online is from Sept 14th to Sept. 20th. Treevenge is one of the 10 films you can watch online now for FREE.

You just need to register.

If Treevenge is the start of Jason Eisener's film career, he's off to a great start. It'll make you think, really hard, next time you want to buy that next Christmas tree.

Click here for more info about the fest.

Rating:

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5 comments:

  1. Lurple9/20/2008 1:18 PM

    I enjoyed Treevenge too. The talking trees were quite amusing, and then it all goes to bloody hell.

    Glad to see someone else checking out these online shorts! Did you watch Kingz?

    ReplyDelete
  2. thebonebreaker9/22/2008 10:22 AM

    Man, I wish that I had known about this on-line film fest - I so would have tuned in! :-(
    (Is this a yearly event?)

    Anyway, this sounds like a really Cool short!

    Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous7/24/2009 3:37 PM

    This is a great and funny short, but did anyone else notice the trees are talking in Ewok samples from Return of the Jedi some of the time?

    ReplyDelete
  4. the jaded viewer7/25/2009 1:35 PM

    I didn't notice that. Now that its online maybe I should watch it again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jason12/08/2011 11:01 AM

    Hilarious. Poor baby trees. They teach them Ewok as a second language?

    ReplyDelete

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