Friday, May 14, 2010

The Spiral Downward to Irrelevancy of Sarah Michelle Gellar

More than a Forgotten Horror Hottie, Sarah Michelle Gellar is iconic when it comes to kick ass girls. With Whedon is my Master's Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Gellar stamped her mark playing the slaytastic heroine.

So instead of posting a few pics and reading her resume, I wanted to examine...well what the happened to her career?

I'm not saying she was the best actress, but with Buffy her performances were all top notch. Spewing that Slayer speak, emoting with those eyes and lips and going all comedy in a few standout episodes, you'd think after the show ended she'd enter ScarJo or Megan Fox elite bombshell status.

But things haven't panned out for our former Slayer. Her career since the series ended has been filled with some rather odd acting choices. Her foray into horror seemed to be a good move since she played the lovely but totally gonna die Helen Shivers in I Know What You Did Last Summer. But after BtVS ended, it's been kinda downhill.

So let's see where her career jumped the shark shall we?

MID BtVS films

1.) Cruel Intentions (1999)

the jaded viewer says: Wowsers. She tries to seduce Ryan Philippe and instead makes all the guys take notice of her "assets". Good film, good vixen performance.

Career Prognosis: 9 (on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being Skinemax and 10 being an Oscar winner)

2.) Harvard Man (2001)

the jaded viewer says: Wowsers again. I never really watched the whole movie but she has a very awesome sex scene Mr. Skin would be proud of.

Career Prognosis: 8 (when a sex scene is your BEST scene, you're in trouble)

3.) Scooby Doo (2002)

the jaded viewer says: You just made a movie based on a cartoon. And the movie also starred your husband and a CGI animated talking dog. This is not a good move. You should have fired your agent.

Career Prognosis: 6 (How can we take you seriously when your dressed in purple?)

POST BtVS films

4.) Scooby Doo 2 (2004)

the jaded viewer says: You made a sequel to the cartoon CGI dog movie? Sigh.

Career Prognosis: 5.5 (Who is your agent? Bugs Bunny?)

5.) The Grudge (2006)

the jaded viewer says: Somebody had to star in all those J-horror American remakes. Not a bad performance, just a bad remake. Very boring and as scary as bumper cars at an amusement park. Wasn't Naomi Watts part open for The Ring?

Career Prognosis: 4 (You picked the worst of the j-horror remakes)

6.) Southland Tales (2006)

the jaded viewer says: OK I applaud the move here. Take a part in an ensemble cast in a quirky Richard Kelly movie. And yay! You played the stripper Krysta Now. Somehow this resulted in negative points as this movie sucked.

Career Prognosis: 3.5 (Good change of pace role, bad change of pace movie)

7.) The Return

the jaded viewer says: With her career falling rapidly, SMG decides to partake in psychological and supernatural horror films. These films are dull and boring and boring and dull. Did I also mention she's a brunette in these flicks? Booooooo.

Career Prognosis: 3 (I don't like brunette SMG)

8.) Possession (2009)

the jaded viewer says: Romantic love triangle turned supernatural thriller. I watched the trailer and I don't get it

Career Prognosis: 3 (Blonde SMG is back!)


Fun Fact! SMG did some voices for Robot Chicken. Her geek cred ups by +2!


9.) Veronika Decides to Die

the jaded viewer says: Supposedly a good drama movie. I haven't seen it but based upon IMDB users, let's say she gives a good performance.

Career Prognosis: 5 (+2 on the geek cred!)

10.) The Wonderful Maladys (2010)

the jaded viewer says: HBO pilot that was not picked up.

Career Prognosis: 4 (Maybe she could guest star on True Blood?)


So what have we learned? She picked lousy Hollywood roles post Buffy. She picked lousy Hollywood horror movie roles post Buffy. She tried to take daring, uber indie roles post Buffy. But maybe SMG's personality has something to do with her selection in movies.

Via Wikipedia.

During her 2006 interview with Marie Claire, Gellar spoke about her thoughts on the movie industry for women. She spoke about her views on the roles of women in movies saying:

"You realize it's a very tough market for women. For me it's about getting roles where women get to do something active, not the girlfriend, not the wife. There are mainly two types of roles for us, women in-jeopardy films and romantic movies."

Hmm. That is true. Maybe SMG was looking for something different instead of the damsel in distress hence all the odd movie choices. In any case, it looks like she'll be out of the acting biz for a while as she and Freddy Prinze Jr. just had a baby girl named Charlotte.

Maybe it's not a spiral downward to irrelevancy for Sarah Michelle Gellar after all. Looks like it's a upward spin to relevancy for her and for her family.

Only time will tell. So Sarah, can you make a Buffy movie already?


  1. that was hilarious and tragic. nice work.

  2. Poor SMG. I vaguely recall not hating The Return, though that's probably due in part to not remembering what the heck it was about. And I was never able to sit down and watch a Scooby Doo movie ... even the trailers irritated me.

    Southland Tales was watchable, and it was nice to see her in that movie, but it was even nicer to see Mandy Moore--yowza.

  3. I would have to disagree with your rating for SMG on The Grudge. This film gave her career a major shot in the arm. It recalled Jamie Lee back in her prime. I would give this an 8 or 9 for relvancy in her career. It was just the roles (mainly The Return which opened at number 10 and quickly disappered from theaters) after this film that she took and unending series of bad luck for her. The film did open up with $40Million and grossed well over a $100Million and a big chunk of the ad campaign was centered around her.

    As for Possession, I really liked this film. It was a return to form for her acting wise. One element that made Buffy was it's moments of sincerity and that same connection she had there on those terms is in Possession. The production company that made it, went bankrupt afterwards and the film got tied up in legal mumbo jumbo. It was supposed to be a theaterical film, but went straight to DVD as a result of it's legal troubles. At least if this had went to theaters as originally intended, it would have kept her in the public eye.

    At any rate, I am a SMG fan for life.

  4. I agree with this great post. I've always scratch my head when it comes to SMG's career. So much promise and it ended up going nowhere interesting in particular. I know she hasn't worked recently due to motherhood, but if her husband can constantly get jobs [which is kind of sad in some ways], she can definitely secure a good one. I think maybe she should do more TV before she does the movie thing again. Or maybe if she does work in film, pick supporting roles. It's pretty sad that CRUEL INTENTIONS is still her best work in film. I'm not knocking that film at all, as it's one of my guiltiest pleasures. But that was 11 years ago. Things should have gotten better, not worse.

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