Thursday, April 28, 2011

Horror Movie Alternate Endings You May Have Missed

The alternate ending. It's sometimes comes out actually better than the original ending. Most of the time, it's actually a piece of shit. I'm a proponent of downer endings, one where our hero or heroine doesn't survive because it just sometimes feels more real than your standard packaged survival ending.But Hollywood and supposed "test audiences" never like downer endings. They hate when the killer lives or wins. They love open endedness-ish stuff...

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Shortround: Home

It's another edition of The Shortround. Up this week a zombie rom com from Australia courtesy of Cameron McCulloch called Home. I wouldn't exactly call it a ha ha rom com more like a sad rom zom. Here be the basic plot.Tells the story of a lone surviving woman, stuck in the middle of nowhere surrounded by the undead, trying to hold on to the last of her humanity. the jaded viewer says: This 11 minute short is without any dialogue. Starring an unnamed...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

2011 LAMMY Awards: For Your Consideration

Well I've never won a LAMMY. I figure there is a first time for everything. So I'm putting my name in the hat to win one of these categories.Best BlogFunniest WriterBest Ratings System (It's freakin spinkicks!)Best Horror/Sci Fi BlogBest Movie ReviewerThere are tons of a great LAMB blogs but none have a ratings system based on Jean Claude Van Damme spinkicks. Hell if a movie deserves more than the maximum 4 spinkicks, it gets the Dim Mak aka "Death...

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (Review)

The Poughkeepsie TapesThe Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)Directed by John Erick DowdleBefore John Erick Dowdle made Devil and Quarantine, he made a found footage serial killer film that was on my radar for a helluva long time. This was the #2 movie I wanted to see in 2008.Think about the fact that in 2008, the found footage flick boom wasn't in full effect. These days we're use to seeing shaky cam/1st POV when it comes to zombies, ghosts, demons, aliens,...

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Soska Sisters American Mary gets a poster

The Jaded Viewer has been covering all things Soska. The Soska Sisters have debuted their poster for their latest feature American Mary. Front and center is the lovely Katharine Isabelle looking kinda coma and tosed. Wait...is that somebody copping a feel?The tagline is "Appearances are Everything" which is intriguing in itself. This needs an IMDB page stat. In any case, the plot is still mum as the Soska Sisters will wait until we've gotten over...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Insano Steve’s One Sentence Reviews-O-Matic (Japanese Hipsters Edition)

It's this week's Insano Steve's one sentence review-o-matics. If you missed the previous editions, check out Perverted Militant Edition, Japanese Militant Edition, Slice and Dice Japanese Edition and Koreans are Wacky Edition. I tasked Insano Steve to review every movie in his DVD collection but instead he gave one sentence reviews (lazy bastard).This week's edition: Japanese Hipsters Edition! This is probably the last of the IS Review-O- Matics....

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Random Poll: Which "food" dish would you eat if you were having dinner at Pankot Palace?

After USA aired Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom for like the 500th time last weekend, I decided to watch it again. And for like the 1000th time I saw the infamous dinner scene. It's so funny on so many levels.I love Short Round's reaction to everything.So this leads to a random jaded viewer poll. Which "food" dish would you eat if you were having dinner at Pankot Palace? As you can see in the poll to in the right nav bar, there is no "I wouldn't...

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Troll Hunter (Review)

The Troll HunterThe Troll Hunter (2011)Directed by André ØvredalWhen trolls attack, who ya gonna call?TROLL HUNTERS!It seems in Scandinavia they take their fairy tales damn seriously. I already brought to your attention the Santa Claus in the wilderness turned killers flick from Finland Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. Thanks to that, I'll never think of jolly old Santa the same way again.But now thanks to Andre Ovredal's latest flick The Troll Hunter,...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Waldo the Dog (Review)

Waldo the DogWaldo the Dog (2010)Directed by Kris CanonizadoOne of the benefits of running The Jaded Viewer is that you get contacted to screen a lot of independent films. Some are terrible, others middle of the road and sometimes on that rare occasion you get to see a film that completely makes you go WTF! that was crazy awesome. Waldo the Dog is one of those films that was WTF crazy awesome.Director Kris Canonizado gave me the opportunity to view...

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Underbelly Blues (Trailer)

Looking for a heist comedy? Well I got you covered. Well more specifically Philip Messerer has got you covered. His latest film is called Underbelly Blues and from the trailer, it's got the zaniest characters I've seen in a while.After checking out his breakthrough film: Thicker than Water (review here) which was a revelation of vampire ingenuity warranting 3 spinkicks from yours truly, he's switched genres and he's going pulp crime fiction!So what's...

Monday, April 11, 2011

Black Dynamite: Slave Island (Comic Book Review)

If you've been a regular reader of this blog, you know I've covered everything about Black Dynamite on this here blog. From the awesome trailers to a review of the movie, to a press packet to "Fight Smack in the Orphanage!", to its DVD release, to the animated series announcement and coverage about the upcoming comic book.I'm a Black Dynamite fan through and through.So when I was lucky enough to get an early copy of the first issue of Black Dynamite:...

Friday, April 08, 2011

10 Things the Netflix Generation could learn from the VHS Generation

As a man who's experienced 2 generations of home video viewing, I have a distinct view of the past and the present world of home video. I remember the days of going to the video store and renting a movie. I also was one of the very first people to ever sign up for Netflix and take advantage of their 3 DVDs out monthly fee.Just for full disclosure, I once was banned by Netflix due to "lost DVDs". I never stole any DVDs back in 1999. It just so happen...

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

The WTF List: Black Swan (Review)

Did I really just watch a movie about ballet?Let's pretend you didn't hear that. Well I figured I'd check this one out as its supposed horror elements that echo an Argento flair were ever evident. Sure I'm a fan of Darren Aronofsky like all the other art cinephiles out there. I mean he made movies about wrestling and orgy drug use.I'm guessing the movie was good but that's for those serious critics to dissect. Let em talk about performances and...

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

The Deadneks - Trilogy of Terror Giveaway Winners are....

Thanks to all who participated in this Jaded Viewer giveaway. We'll have plenty of other giveaways soon so keep checking back here. I'd also like to thank Charlie Ruckus for providing the DVDs for this giveaway. Say thanks by following him on Twitter @ruckusprod and checking out the official site.The lucky winners are C.C. Sardonicus and Mike Little. Congrats to both of you!Even though you may not have won, check out my review of The Deadneks - Trilogy...

Monday, April 04, 2011

Prowl (Review)

Prowl Prowl aka The Strays (2010)Directed by Patrik SyversenOh After Dark, you never disappoint me. When I ask for a cliched, stereotypical horror movie with dumb white kid fodder, generic pseudo vampires and frenetic camera movements you deliver on q.Straight from the revamped After Dark Originals lineup comes Prowl aka The Strays, a horror movie that takes a different spin on the night crawlers who meet some Abercrombie and Fitch wearing small...

Friday, April 01, 2011

WTF!?? OMG?? Did somebody send me a Snuff video?!??!

It's the middle of the night as I write this and I'm a little freaked out. I don't know what to do. I got a package in the mail yesterday and it's got me totally freaking the fuck out. As you can see in the pictures above, I got a video tape, a broken lighter and a pocket watch (that appears to not be working) in a DVD mailer.The return address is a PO Box from Galveston, Texas. So why am I acting a little nuts. Well because of what the tape is labeled....it...