Friday, January 29, 2010

Live Tweeting while watching the worst of torture porn: Train (Review)

Posted on 11:00 AM by the jaded viewer
First the plot.................In Europe, a group of American college athletes unknowingly board a train that will become one deadly rideOK here was my live tweet transcript from yesterday. Follow me Twitter for more upcoming live tweets of terribly bad flicks. jadedviewer Ok I'm starting my live tweet of train....supposedly the worst torture porn flick ever....if you miss this...ill post it on the site tom #jvtrainjadedviewer Well opening scene...
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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Exploitation Awesomeness or Sleazy Horror Porn?

Posted on 11:00 AM by the jaded viewer
If you walk into any mom and pop video store, you'll see the same layout in each one. The action flicks are next to the sci-fi movies, which are next to the horror movies. And what's next to the horror movies? Yup, saloon style doors with bells on them signaling the entrance to the porn section.Porn and horror are like a fat man is with a Big Mac. They go hand in hand.So what happens when you mix horror with porn? You get Shane Ryan's Amateur Porn...
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A Vote for the jaded viewer is a vote for......well me!!! (Bloody Disgusting's Horror Blogger Awards)

Posted on 11:00 AM by the jaded viewer
A few weeks ago, the horror blogosphere got in an uproar over Total Film's definition of a horror blog. So Mr. D of Bloody Disgusting (one of the nominated "blogs") decided to call out for nominations for the real horror bloggers out there.And guess who nominated the jaded viewer?Well I nominated my own blog of course. Why wouldn't I nominate myself? This be America, where if we ever had a zombie apocalypse, I'd be the first one hording the gas....
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The Dead (Trailer)

Posted on 10:30 AM by the jaded viewer
I rarely post any mainstream news on here but I gotta say, after seeing the trailer for The Dead, I got flashbacks of Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2. Damn this looks awesome. I thought the zombie film was a shotgun to the head away from dying, but I might be wrong.I'm not too excited about George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead as the early exit interviews have been ripe with "ugh" and "WTF". But The Dead, directed by the Ford Bros. looks like a zombie classic...
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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Boring Bikini Samurai Assassin Girl = OneChanbara (Review)

Posted on 11:00 AM by the jaded viewer
OneChanbaraOneChanbara (2008)Directed by Yôhei FukudaI didn't really expect a good movie as I popped OneChanbara into my DVD player but I mean the cover has a girl with samurai swords, a cowboy hat and she's wearing a bikini. Least this could have been was Japanese Skinemax.But it turns out OneChanbara, which is based on a PS2/Xbox game wasn't a Versus like zombie movie or Japanese hentai. It turned out to be some low end, cash in video game movie...
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Monday, January 25, 2010

Vampires that don't sparkle! The Strain (Book Review)

Posted on 11:00 AM by the jaded viewer
The Strain By Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck HoganHey! Look at what we have here. The jaded viewer actually reads a book! Yes, I do read on occasion. I got this book for free for being a VIP after visiting Nightmare: Vampires, a haunted house in NYC.So yes, it took me about 3 months to read a book. Well it was 400 pages so it was kind a long. But I'm glad I finished it. It's what you call a blockbuster action book. Pure Reading Rainbow, out of this...
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Friday, January 22, 2010

The Horror Continuum (Random Edition)

Posted on 10:00 AM by the jaded viewer
Ahh its' Ivy in a lab coat! My current TV crush is Liza Lapira who plays Ivy on the Fox show Dollhouse. I've been obsessed with her and a bunch of the hotties on that show of late.But I digress. I haven't done a Horror Continuum in a while and I've been getting a lot of stuff in my inbox looking for some free PR. Well might as well get this over with.As seen on the Interweb....Bloody Disgusting is putting together a horror blogger contest..submit...
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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Parkour + French Racial Unity = District 13: Ultimatum (Review)

Posted on 10:00 AM by the jaded viewer
District 13: UltimatumBanlieue 13 - Ultimatum (2009)Directed by Patrick Alessandrinpar·kour n. (park-joor') An activity in which the participant movies quickly and fluidly, by surmounting obstacles such as walls and railings and leaping across open spaces.Not going to write a long review here. I recently picked this flick up at a cheap DVD store and with the pending US DVD and theatrical release upcoming, I'd thought I'd share my thoughts.When...
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Blood Creek (Review)

Posted on 11:00 AM by the jaded viewer
Blood Creek (aka Town Creek)Blood Creek (2009)Directed by Joel SchumacherLook at that. That's not a typo. This film was actually directed by Joel Schumacher. So 75% chance this is gonna suck. I mean this is the man who gave us Batman nipples. I think the only flick I liked of his was 8mm.But I digress. Lion's Gate poops out horror movies into the dollar bin every year, sometimes they give low budget theaters a chance to screen their horror line....
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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Horror Blogging 101 (or what the hell do I write about?)

Posted on 11:00 AM by the jaded viewer
I've noticed a lot of new bloggers starting their own horror blogs recently. That's good to see. People who are passionate about the horror genre and want to chime in on their thoughts makes this little horror blogosphere better. Joining this horror blogosphere is supe duper awesome. All the people I've talked to, tweeted, e-mailed and left comments for are some of the uber coolest people from across the country and the world. All have a unique style to their writing, some are cleverly Tricks are for Kids hilarious and others come up with theme...
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Monday, January 18, 2010

Killer Movie (Review)

Posted on 11:00 AM by the jaded viewer
Killer MovieKiller Movie (2008)Directed by Jeff Fisher[this review is brought to you by Insano Steve who is back from the dead. Check out his other reviews and features in the right hand nav bar]So, the jaded viewer asked me to review some movies for the site. Movies that he felt were so irredeemably bad, he could not physically review himself, citing fear for his health. Seeing that I'm pretty much the trash-TV expert, I figured I'd choose to do...
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Friday, January 15, 2010

The Tournament (Review)

Posted on 10:00 AM by the jaded viewer
The TournamentThe Tournament (2009)Directed by Scott MannI hyped up this movie a year ago and when the trailer came out, I hyped it up some more. So when I won this film shockingly from Fangoria I couldn't believe my luck. I dig a good horror movie, but over the top action flicks are where I get my kicks from.The movie has a clever premise (see below) and had an all star cast and the trailer had shit blowing up, could it live up to the hype?Fuck...
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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Forgotten Horror Hottie: Alexa Davalos

Posted on 10:00 AM by the jaded viewer
Her Horror/SciFi Resume: TV Series Angel, The Chronicles of Riddick, The Mist, Clash of the TitansOther Notable Films: DefianceThe Jaded Viewer says: My first glimpse of Alexa Davalos was on Angel where she played the hottie electroshock vixen with a heart Gwen Raiden. She also appeared with Vin "I grunt alot" Diesel in The Chronicles of Riddick. Her only horror movie was The Mist.I think she's gonna jump all mainstreamy when she appears as Andromeda...
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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Award Cooties are the best!

Posted on 10:30 PM by the jaded viewer
Well I'm infected again...WOOHOO! Awards month is still not over thanks to Chuck @ Zombies DON'T Run. He's given award cooties to 10 more horror blogs and yours truly is one of them!This award is awesome coming from Chuck. So thanks again...we will proudly sneeze this award on to two other horror blogs.Well I'm giving this award to Bloody Disgusting and Dread Central..... hahahahah...... PSYCHE!!!!Oh they're not horror blogs, well according to Total...
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The WTF List: Avatar Edition

Posted on 10:00 AM by the jaded viewer
So on a cold, frigid day last week I went to see the overly hyped, groundbreaking behemoth that is Avatar. What can you say that hasn't been said already? I dug the Real D awesomeness but the story was equivalent to a high school film club pitching potential Star Trek episode ideas.Insano Steve said it best. It's the same rehashed story they use for every other movie. Dumb, stoopid guy has to join group and learn their ways. Meets girl. Likes girl....
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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Awards are like gremlins, just add water to get more of em!

Posted on 10:30 AM by the jaded viewer
Well it looks like awards mania isn't done yet. It's like that damn H1N1, spreading like a 3rd graders toy collection. Well color me infected because I've gotten 2 more awards from some super awesome bloggers.First up is the fantastically Frightening award as first seen on Day of the Woman. This one was bestowed on me by Andre @ The Horror Digest. You can check out the blurb about moi by click on the link here.....no here......ok this is the right...
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Dollhouse "Getting Closer (TV Review)

Posted on 10:00 AM by the jaded viewer
If you've been an avid reader of this blog, you know I've been reviewing Dollhouse for UGO.com. Well that's sadly coming to a close as the series is down to 2 more episodes after this one. It's funny that now, Dollhouse is getting uber awesome, packing in characters that I adore and plot twists that have you scratching your head and high fiving at the same time, its all coming to an end.I NEED MY WHEDON!!! HE IS MY MASTER NOW!!So over the next few...
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Monday, January 11, 2010

Best Horror Movies of the Decade (Compilation from the horrorsphere)

Posted on 10:12 AM by the jaded viewer
Well with my compilation of sites and blogs who put up Best of... and Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009, seems other horror sites put up best horror movies of the decade (2000-2009). I'm like a wiki to all that is lists and I like aggregating things for everyone to make it easier.So below you will find links to all your favorite sites and blogs that wrote up a Best Horror Movies of thee 2000s decade list.Now keep saying nice things about me. I like that.About.comThe...
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Saturday, January 09, 2010

Awards-O-Matic @ the jaded viewer!

Posted on 3:30 PM by the jaded viewer
WOW! It seems people actually read this thing. Yay me! Well, the jaded viewer got some praise from the horror blogosphere last week and after my post last week about how far the site has come in 3 years, it's finally resulted in some nominations for some neat-o awards for the site.First up, the Kreativ Blogger Award (yup that's how its spelled)Thanks to....Matt @ Chuck Norris Ate My BabyChuck @ Zombies DON'T RunRev. Phanton @ Midnight ConfessionsHayes...
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