Friday, January 29, 2010

Live Tweeting while watching the worst of torture porn: Train (Review)

First the plot.................

In Europe, a group of American college athletes unknowingly board a train that will become one deadly ride

OK here was my live tweet transcript from yesterday. Follow me Twitter for more upcoming live tweets of terribly bad flicks.

jadedviewer Ok I'm starting my live tweet of train....supposedly the worst torture porn flick ever....if you miss this...ill post it on the site tom #jvtrain

jadedviewer Well opening scene they just deskinned somebody ala martyrs...on a train! Whatta surprise #jvtrain

jadedviewer Thora birch is looking oldish and she's on an american wrestling team? And they are in bratislava! E europe is like the w virginia of europe #jvtrain

jadedviewer Thora birch gave 2 creepy guys her passport...didn't she see hostel? #jvtrain

jadedviewer the failsafe of torture porn....ocular trauma!#jvtrain

jadedviewer Brass knuckle and urination torture...well that's new #jvtrain

jadedviewer Well they just discovered this is terror train to harvest organs or some shit...and thora birch is badly emoting #jvtrain

jadedviewer Gratuitous use of a tunnel to make it oooooooh scary....organ harvesters 5 americans 0 #jvtrain

jadedviewer Nipple torture and the old reliable bone saw....and chest cavity gore...and hooks thru the mouth..and these people are still alive? #jvtrain

jadedviewer Omg there is like 30 min left in this flick....crap #jvtrain

jadedviewer I've been watching for an hour and I have no idea what thora birchs characters name is. #jvtrain

jadedviewer They just bashed a dudes head with a rock...that's old school flinstones torture porn #jvtrain

jadedviewer So all her friends are dead and now she's going all final girl revenge frenzy...look out black market killers!!! #jvtrain

jadedviewer Final fight is thora birch vs bratislavan big john studd!!! #jvtrain

jadedviewer Haahhahaha she used a wrestling move to make big john studd tap out and now he got squished by a bad #jvtrain

jadedviewer Well that sucked maybe I should pick a good movie for a live tweet #jvtrain

Check out the trailer below.

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  1. This was surprisingly...informative. Haha.

  2. Wrestling eh.. This sounds like an 6-beer-er a la Children of the Corn remake

  3. Oh look! Another movie I don't wanna see for the rest of my life!

  4. Yeah it was outright terrible. We Americans are such a**holes when we go to another country...thank goodness their are serial killers in these countries to slaughter them.

  5. Its really one of horror movies that some people like. Great acting of movie cast.