I'm totally hooked on Tales from Beyond the Pale. It's totally makes my morning commute go by like a flash when I'm on the train. I download the episode, load it up to my iPhone and I got 30 minutes of entertainment. Like I said when I reviewed the first 2 episodes, Glass Eye Pix brings about the evolution of horror radio. Top notch star voice talent, great suspenseful stories in half an hour and some sound effects that make it feel real.
The next 2 episodes were just released and both went in very different directions. Is this Seat Taken? from Sarah Langan takes a stab at serial killers while This Oracle Moon goes all sci fi. Read the reviews below to find out which one was better.
Here are a couple of brief reviews of the last 2 episodes.
Is this Seat Taken?
Written by Sarah Langan We get a Dexter-ry episode in this tale from Sarah Langan. Here be the plot:
A young man meets an alluring woman on the Long Island Railroad and slowly comes to realize they have a common past... but maybe not the one she is recollecting.
This episode was decent, though it had a few moments. I've actually commuted on the LIRR and to hear the sounds of the train were dead on.
Robert Benchley our strange stranger is manipulated by LI heavily accented Cassey Coca who has taken an interest in our hero. Their relationship is one of a doctor/patient feel but it becomes more intense. The dialogue is heavy and at times pretty hilarious. Benchley is a little odd and off and his secrets are slowly dragged out by our Amy Fisher like Cassey. At times, the conversation seems read rather than casually spoken and lines feel forced.
The end feels a little predictable as it ends with a bang. I can't say I loved Is This Seat Taken but it was entertaining. It's a pocket full of Dexter, horror radio style.
You can download a preview of the episode, by clicky here.
This Oracle Moon
Written and directed by Jeff Buhler
I recognized Jeff Buhler's name immediately. He had directed Insanitarium (which I reviewed and gave 1 SK) But what drew me to this episode was that it featured the voice talent of Ron Perlman. Perlman's voice is so recognizable you could figure it out through a subway intercom.
This is the first sci fi horror Tale from Beyond the Pale. I'll admit, I liked this one just because it was sci-fi-ish. Here be the plot:
A rescue team of astronauts is dispatched to a distant moon in hopes of reclaiming survivors from an ill fated exploratory mission sent six years prior. When no survivors are found, the rescuers turn their attention to the elusive creatures inhabiting the nearby hills for answers.
Perlman brings his Hellboy attitude in as Marsh, our el capitan. He steals the show as he has all of the best one liners. This Oracle Moon can best be compared to Event Horizon in its sci-fi horrorness. It's got that eerie chillness as Captain Marsh and his crew sense everything on this distant moon isn't as it seems.
I also liked the sound effects in this one. Just bleeps and bloops and rocket ship engines brings in a nice Star Wars touch. And for the first time, we hear fighting in a TFBTP! I imagined Perlman in his space suit punching creatures with a long metal pipe. You'd think it would sound goofy but your imagine runs wild when you HEAR something rather than see it.
Overall, This Oracle Sound twists as all the other episodes have. It's predictable but the explained ending was creative. I liked this more than the previous entry as I've not been exposed to much sci-fi horror of late. It's good their mixing in different types of horror genres. Sci-fi horror to psychological serial horror.
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As always Larry Fessenden's intro is always funny and the breaks in between make it feel all 1950s.
Every horror fan with a mp3 player, iPod or iPhone, Droid or whatever digital entertainment device should at least download one of these episodes. It's definitely worth the $2 (it's the price of a cup of coffee!) to check out some quality horror radio back from the dead.
I'll admit, I agree with almost everything on that list in some way or the other. If you don't take it too seriously, it's pretty funny and unbelievably true. Porn is the bastard child of Hollywood yet horror is looked upon as the stepchild of the studio system. Both are treated like shit.
So I'm adding 10 more to this already comprehensive list.
1.) Their conventions are eerily similar
Both horror and porn have conventions in the most unlikely of places. Horror has their conventions in hotel ballrooms while porn will have them in suburbia. Both can even sellout convention centers.
Both have booths and feature film viewings and have crazy stunts to get some buzz. Freebies a plenty at both conventions.
2.) They both remake or reboot current or past films
Horror is the reboot and remake genre of genres. Every horror movie of the last 20 years seems to either have been remade, rebooted, prequeled or sequeled. Porn is the master of their domain when it comes to parodying Hollywood movies. They've even parodied horror movies making it a double penetration!
3.) They both have an awards show honoring themselves Horror has the Scream Awards. Porn has the AVN Awards and both have quirky categories. Horror has winners for "Holy Sh*t Scene of the Year" and "Most Memorable Mutilation" while porn has "Most Outrageous Sex Scene" and "Best MILF title".
4.) Group slaughter is the same as an orgy
At times in a horror movie, the slasher will go all mass genocide on a group of victims. This is pretty much the porn equivalent of a gangbang or orgy. Both involve sweaty people and lots of heavy breathing.
5.) Both genres are dominated by white people
Most actors and actresses in both genres are white. Sure you'll get a token minority every now and then but for the most part, it's stereotypically pale. 6.) They're side by side at the video store
Umm, you ever notice that the horror videos are right next to the swinging doors that say "Adults Only!". C'mon, I know you did.
7.) Both have subgenres that are fucked up as hell
Horror has torture porn. Porn HAS actual torture porn.
8.) A hulking big man wants to "stab" the shit out of a hot girl
This is pretty much self explanatory. 9.) Both have foreplay
Before you get to the good shit, there is tons of foreplay. Slashers taunt and ridicule their victims before the final slaughter. Porn has lots of...well you know.
10.) Bodily fluid is splattered all over the place
I'll leave this up to your sick and dirty imagination.
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C'mon now, you noticed all these things to. You just don't want to admit it. A few other similarities are both have blogs and sites dedicated to reviewing their movies. Have you ever been to a porn movie review site? It's spookily similar to a horror review. Do you have any more similarities to add to the list? Think about it.
While you're thinking, I'm going to get the best of both worlds by watching The Human Sextipede.
Well this is a first for me. One of the horror blogosphere's own Becky Sayers from The Horror Effect, with her husband has directed their first feature horror film. I know a few other bloggers have directed their own shorts or features but this is the first time I'll be reviewing one of my own brethren.
First, it's an accomplishment in itself to go out and go beyond blogging and making your own damn film. It's to be applauded on effort alone. The film was made in 2 weeks and a few thousand dollars. That's extremely low budget for even the lowest budget movies. From script to post production, the Sayers put blood, sweat and more blood into Break. The film is DIY filmmaking at it's most raw. Both Nick and Becky were Jack and Jill of all trades plus a crew and cast that were willing to go the extra mile. Kudos to them all.
But now let's get to the movie. Break is an experimental indie film that has a rawness that is not seen in many horror movies. But where it falls short, it makes up for with ideas. The ideas that flow from Break are interesting to say the least. The obvious comparison is that it is similar to The Signal. I kind of think Break is an indier version of The Signal. Same sort of ideas but set to scale.
I could easily classify this as a "descent to madness and paranoia" movie or "teens gone crazy battle royale" but somehow you can sense the idea of a good/evil paradox coming through. That's not to say it's a perfect film. It suffers from all the markings of a low budget feature film and is a little incoherent at times.
But for a first feature film, it's slickly done and tries to provoke you to think. That's worth something in my book.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
Reunited for the weekend, a group of friends are driven to violence when an unknown force seems to bring out the worst in them. Who will be the first to break?
Awesome Review-O-Matic
Going to breakdown the film by each 1/3 so you know what's the what.
The first 30....
The first half of the film is all set up as we follow a group of friends in Washington (state that is) as they party in a house in the woods. We get to know all of them and discover all their very unique personality traits. Michael is our level headed "hero", Kane our gun toting, beer drinking Stone Cold persona, Danny and Heather our normals so to speak. Running parallel is the story of Angela (Michael's GF, who oddly resembles Sarah Michelle Gellar to a tee) who lives in Cali.
It's your standard meet and greet for all of them. Angela however is soon abducted by Hector and they both begin to play a cat and mouse game of quotey quotables.
The next 30....
Soon, our house guests all start to hallucinate and de-evolves into madness. Flashbacked nightmares get everybody on edge and one by one they all start to go all homicidal. Soon Kane is hunting his prey with a shotgun as our cast dwindles away.
Meanwhile in Cali, Angela is seeing how demented Hector has become and he is the impetus for what the hell is going on.
The final 30....
All hell is breaking loose as the bodies pile up. Prey gets hunted and the hunter becomes prey. We get a thrilling conclusion and an ending that is bittersweet.
All 90.......
Wow I was vague wasn't I? OK, let's start off with the good. The film definitely has a nice look to it. Eerie shadows, a soylent green tint in some scenes and a few choice scenes of unrelenting violence. I'll admit, I could care less about those damn kids in that house. Teens going all crazy has been done before and I felt like I was watching a YouTube short.
What mostly intrigued me in Break was the scenes between Hector and Angela. Hector is a character who speaks in quotes from notable writers and authors. His reasoning for kidnapping Angela is cryptic but becomes clearer as the world is soon gonna go all apocalyptic. We don't know in the beginning why everybody goes all crazy but this gets explained by what I like to call "crazy talk" by Hector.
Angela somehow redefines "victim" with her backtalk. She criticizes his logic, insults him and seemed fearless. Their dialogue is cluttered with extra syllables and scrabbled words that kind of didn't make any sense. Why is Angela ridiculing some mad man who was about to kill her? I had to admit though, I wanted to know what they would do and say next. Their conversation is where the ideas from Break come from.
Good vs evil. Do all people have parts of the devil inside them? And if they do, does it all need to be triggered in some way and then we all"break" into madness? Sadly, we only touched the surface of this subject. I would have liked to have seen how this unknown force was handled by more characters. Our kids in the woods seem to easily become Jason Voorhees-es pretty quickly. Seeing their struggle to overcome or succumb to "the signal"would have been a more interesting thing to see.
On the technical side, Break also suffers from a few nauseous shaky cam moments and a few scenes of pure darkness. I'm not going to overly gripe about production here but it has to be noted. At times, the movie seemed to chug along into random filler moments.
The acting is tolerable but at times a little questionable. Upon seeing the death of one of their friends, the others didn't act so distressed. Umm their is a girl with a shotgun hole in her chest. I think I'd be a little shocked, wouldn't you? Some of the cast give no emotional ooooomph to their performances though the standout has to be Jonathan Bruno as Hector who plays an evil incarnate apprentice pretty well.
The dialogue is a little clunky. I'm not sure why but some lines seemed so out of place situationally. A quick exchange between Hector and Angela as Hector forces her to take a shower has got to be a total WTF moment. But I may be nitpicking at this point. The dialogue clearly pushed an agenda and taken as such, I see it as a necessary evil.
Overall Break earns points on atmosphere and ideology. It's clearly got a few wrinkles in it but it's a solid collared shirt of a movie. Break is a film that takes the conventional and mixes in the experimental. It's a cocktail some people may like and others will hate. But no matter, what you think of this low budget indie horror film, you can't deny that it was made for horror fans and for an audience that likes a little thinking in their horror.
Here's hoping it breaks through.
Nude-ipedia
Nada
Gore-ipedia
Slice and dice
WTF moment
That uncomfortable shower scene dialogue
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
The directors have sent Break to the Big Break Movie contest held by Rogue and AMC. If the movie makes it to the finals you can vote here.
Head over to the official site for more info and as always check out one of the best horror blogs out on the intertubes, The Horror Effect.
I sometimes lose track of my list of studios and directors that I dig. In the case of Toe Tag Pictures, I've been trying to keep up to date with their latest and greatest. I last checked in when the trailer for Murder Collection Volume 1 was released. But they've released a few new movies of late including Maskhead.
I actually own Redsin Tower and August Underground Mordum (a signed copy via a purchase from Fred Vogel himself). Back in the day, I would explore the vendors and the Toe Tag crew were always a must visit.
For you noobs, Toe Tag gave birth to the August Underground flicks which have cemented themselves on hundreds of "disturbing horror movie" lists. But they have been evolving from heavy FX features to story driven flicks. That's not to say they leave out the gore and splatter out. Their expertise and believable effects are what makes them one of the best horror companies out there.
So with that, I realized a new trailer was released for their newest feature entitled Sella Turcica. Here be the plot.
Sgt. Bradley Roback (Damien A. Maruscak) returns home from active duty after a mysterious accident leaves him paralyzed. Awaiting his return, his mother, Karmen (Camille Keaton), and younger sister, Ashley (Jade Risser), remain unaware of the details of the accident and severity of Brad‘s condition. Once he arrives, though he looks sickly, his family members are pleased to see him alive and don’t bring attention to his ill appearance. Over the next twenty-six hours Brad’s condition terribly worsens, barreling down to a gruesome conclusion that will change the family forever.
Now check out the trailer.
It's been getting high praise among the horror community. They are calling it the best Toe Tag flick to date. For more info, check out the official site and to order the DVD, click here.
With the amount of digital entertainment in this day and age, you'd think radio would be dead. But it's still alive and kicking though has evolved into something a little more frightening courtesy of Glass Eye Pictures Larry Fessenden and Glenn McQuaid. Tales from Beyond the Pale is the evolution of horror radio. It's also an evolution in the horror genre. It's been a long time since the two have blended but Glass Eye Pictures has created a 21st century audio cocktail that had me on the edge of my seat.
You should already know Glass Eye Pictures as the studio that has brought you I Sell the Dead, The House of the Devil and Stakeland. But this newest project brings horror radio back from the dead and I gotta tell you it's fantastic.
At only half an hour each, each tale is filled with a story that is cunningly enticing and downright macabre. So far only 3 stories have been released and I had a chance to listen to the first two. With the voice talents of Vincent D'Onofrio and Ron Perlman, these aren't your golden oldies. These all have great actors and writers that weave a tale that give you a chill down your spine.
Here are a couple of brief reviews of the first 2 episodes.
Man on the Ledge
Written and directed by Joe Maggio
Starring: Vincent D'Onofrio and Larry Fessenden (and others)
As the title says, a man on the ledge thinks about his life as police try to talk him down. D'Onofrio plays John Alba whose life has spiraled out of control. The premise is only the trigger that enables the twists and turns to happen in this twisted tale.
The show is complete with audio stimuli from NYC sounds to police radio. These little touches make you feel like you're there. D'Onofrio is brilliant as a man who not only seems to be in utter despair but disturbed as well. The dialogue is clearly filled with rants of dubious monologue, colorful analogies and conversation that make you think.
It's all of this that makes Man on the Ledge feel oddly real. You will never look at a suicidal man about to jump the same way again after hearing this tale (because I'm sure you all do this all the time :-P)
British & Proud
Written and directed by Simon Rumley
The second episode of Tales from Beyond the Pale takes Western paranoia to a new level. British & Proud follows Sebastian, a British dude who marries Zalika, an African beauty as they vacation to visit her family in Sudan, Africa.
Let me just say the difference between TFBTP and other horror radio is that they don't just rehash old urban legends or horror short stories but we get to listen to NEW stories told in such a creative way complete with sound effects and performances of the highest caliber.
So many different themes are explored in British & Proud. Western imperialism, identity and love. As Sebastian uses his heart rather than his head, you start to empathize with him and his situation. But sometimes, when you keep it real, it can go wrong.
British & Proud is maliciously evil and uniquely mesmerizing. You really start to listen to each word, to each noise and especially to each scream at 100%. You know many of these tales won't end well, but you can't help but listen.
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If you want to download something fun and creepy, Tales from Beyond the Pale is pure 30 minutes of wickedness. Larry Fessenden's hosting introduction reminded me of the old Cryptkeeper with a tinge of Rod Serling. You even get an old timey break (it's just promos for a trailer) that makes it feel classically new.
Horror fans and bloggers, this is a must download. So turn off your TV, shut off the game console and before you shut down your computer, download Tales from Beyond the Pale. Horror radio-casting is your new form of entertainment and it's here to scare the hell out of you.
With the Walking Dead just kicking ass on AMC, I was originally going to post a list of things that logically would kinda suck during a zombie apocalypse. One of the main things would be all the freakin flies and maggots that would infest the dead. Shouldn't we see flies buzzing around each zombie? Also, a few weeks into decomposition, its maggot city right?
But I digress.
It's no shock that a zombie apocalypse to me is the king of apocalypses. I mean the dead walking around is pretty much fucked up as you can get. Limited human survivors and a constantly growing army looking to eat your brains guarantees an end to the world. But what other types of apocalypses would suck?
Here is my list. I hope you include your own in the comments. I'm also putting up a poll in the right nav bar so you can vote on which you think is the WORST OF THE APOCALYPSES.
Now head to your fallout shelter ASAP!
10.) Water Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: Think Waterworld. Say because of global warming the ice caps start to melt and we all gotta live on boats. I'm not good with boats and get sea sick pretty easily. Shit, I don't want to grow gills either.
9.) Religious Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: You'd think I'd say it would be God vs the Devil or angels vs demons. But that's not the kind I'm talking about. It would kinda suck if the world collapsed into a collective war over religious ideology. Oh shit you mean that's happening now? Fuck.
8.) Asteroid Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: You know where I'm heading. Yup Armageddon and Deep Impact territory. The impact of the asteroids would eradicate a large population but the fallout would cause us to probably all live underground. We probably wouldn't have Internet either.
7.) Natural Resources Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: On Discovery Channel they once theorized if we ran out of oil all hell would break loose. Wars would breakout all over the world as each country horded gas and oil. We really do need all the stuff we dig out of the Earth and it would be madness if gas cost $100 a gallon.
6.) Vampire Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: I recently read Guillermo Del Toro's The Strain and he really details a widespread pandemic if vampires elected to go all vampy and not be all secretive about their intent. Daybreakers illustrates that we could all be infected pretty fast. A vampire world with consist of no sunlight and an overwhelming thirst for blood. But the superhuman strength would be fuckin awesome.
5.) Virus Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: An airborne virus spreading across the planet is the most frightening and MOST REALISTIC thing that could happen. We've had our scares with Ebola and Mad Cow. Say we get a virus like in Stephen King's The Stand, we'd all be fucked. Quarantine zones, wearing masks and hazmat suits. Say the virus turned us into flesh eating mutants? Who would I get to play XBox Kinect with?
4.) Robotic Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: Skynet goes self aware. Your jacked into the Matrix (which doesn't sound so bad). A war between the machines is gonna suck. When your Wii starts attacking you, all hope is loss.
3.) Nuclear Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: It's The Road and it's depressing as hell. Sure Mad Max may look fun with their dune buggies and Road Warrior shoulder pads but the 100 or so years in the fallout shelter would kinda suck.
2.) Alien Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: We're not alone. But after they destroy all the major cities and start a human genocide you'd hope we would be. A virus from a Mac ain't gonna work dude. Being slaves to an alien race is pretty much the worst case scenario. No way we can beat their technology if they're using fuckin force fields. Plus being destroyed by aliens would be demoralizing as you'd think humanity could do it better ourselves. 1.) Zombie Apocalypse
the jaded viewer says: Like I said, a post apocalyptic zombie world would just plain the best worst. Zombie corpses, flies and maggots. All major cities uninhabitable. I mean the walking dead would stink like crazy.
Plus I'm not good with firearms. Maybe I should brush up via Call of Duty.
Well that's my list. What do you think is the worst of the apocalypses? Go ahead and vote in the poll to the right and if you got your own list, share it below.
And if I flipped the question around, what would be the best apocalypse that you think we'd all be able to survive? I'm thinking vampires (we got daylight!).
The NYC Horror Film Festival kicked off yesterday. It runs from 11/10-11/14 and is at Tribeca Cinemas (54 Varick Street @ Canal St).
**TANGENT ALERT!**
It seems I couldn't get a press pass for this but was given a mild discount. It goes to show you the horror blogosphere which I'm proud to be a part of is not taken seriously as I thought. Would you rather have a blurb on Bloody Disgusting or Dread Central or a couple of in depth posts detailing the experience to the horror community? I'm not sure if I'll go to any of the programs because of this. I'm a NYC horror blogger trying to cover a NYC horror film festival. I think I qualify at press at this point. But I digress.
I think bloggers are just as important as horror journalists but in the eyes of a film festival such as this, they don't think so. But again I digress.
**END TANGENT ALERT!** THE GUESTS
The guests this year are top notch I'll admit. Robert Englund, Michael Wright, Michael Gingold, Bill Lustig, Joe Mauceri and Tony Todd will hold a panel discussion on Saturday.
THE FEATURE FILMS
I've added trailers to the list of feature films screening at this year's event. Each program will have one feature, a couple of shorts. A couple of films that were on my radar are Yellow Brick Road, Won Ton Baby! and The Pack. I've seen Ticked off Trannies with Knives which was kooky interesting to say the least.
Check out the list of films below with TRAILERS!
Bereavement (11/11 @7pm)
Yellow Brick Road (11/12 @7:30pm)
Don't Go in the Woods (11/12 @9pm)
The Pack (11/13 @ 2pm)
Outcast (11/13 @ 4:30pm)
Ticked off Trannies with Knives (11/13 @ 7:30pm)
Kiss the Abyss (11/14 @ 4:30pm)
Won Ton Baby! (11/14 @ 7:30 pm)
Also on 11/13, Robert England will receive a Lifetime Achievemant Award and there will also be a screening of a Nightmare on Elm Street. A panel discussion on 11/14 will also be held and moderated.
A few solid flicks in this year's festival. If you're in the NYC area and a horror fan, you should check out one of the programs on tap. Tickets for each Program are $16 while an entire All Access Pass is $160.
Everybody thinks it would be cool to be a vampire. You live forever, you get to have super strength and possibly even hyptonize hot girls to do your bidding. Sure, there's that sunlight problem, crucifixes are a nuisance and that overwhelming thirst for blood.
Beats being a zombie though right?
From the jaded viewer inbox comes this indie vampire flick entitled Midnight Son. Here be your plot:
MIDNIGHT SON is the story of Jacob, a young man confined to a life of isolation, due to a rare skin disorder that prevents him from being exposed to sunlight. His world opens up when he meets Mary, a local bartender, and falls in love. Tragically, Jacob’s actions become increasingly bizarre as he struggles to cope with the effects of his worsening condition. Forced by the disease to drink human blood for sustenance, he must control his increasingly violent tendencies as local law enforcement narrow their focus on him as a suspect in a series of grisly murders.
The new chic movie thing to do is make realistic supernatural flicks and it looks like Midnight Son strives to make the bloodsucker night creature more believable than ever. With a few vampire flicks already making that claim, we'll have to judge to see if Midnight Son can hold it's own.
OMG. You so have to watch the trailer below of the new movie from action choreographer Panna Rittikrai. He is the man responsible for those insane action stunts, muy thai fights and crazy battles from Ong Bak to many other action stunts.
His stunt team is now world renown and with Tony Jaa off at a monastery (seriously, I'm not kidding), there are quite a few budding action stars that want to make a name for themselves. But they're all going to make an audition in Bangkok Knockout which looks fuckin awesome.
Watch it now.
You done?
Wait did I just see the following:
A dude jump over a burning car?
A burning dude smash through a wall?
A dude get by a car going 100 mph?
A couple of dudes getting run over by a car?
A guy get run over by a motorcycle?
A fight scene take place at the bottom of a moving truck?
Flying backwards kicks?
Evil American warlord?
A dude avoiding a car by spinning?
A flying knee kick to the throat?
A backward scissors kick?
Simultaneous leap frog kicks?
Flying bike kicks?
Bangkok Knockout comes out in Thailand on December 10, 2010.Magnolia Pictures has picked up the film for US distribution. No stateside release date announced yet.
OK what do you think? Are you freakin excited? Well I am. This looks awesome.
A Serbian Film (2010) Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic
"It's like a cartoon for grownups"
That's a quote from one of the characters in A Serbian Film, which by now if you're a fan of the film festival circuit, you know about the reputation this film has received.
Was it a movie critiquing the Serbian government's brainwashing of ordinary citizens into committing atrocities during the war? Or is it a vile, disgusting piece of crap pretending to be art?
Honestly, I don't know. As I watched I tried to see if there was satire as we watch the de-evolution of our main character Milos. But viewing fucked up scene after fucked up scene, I was kind of shocked into a jaded submission of WTF. Something is being said about the Serbian's ravaged past but all that kept echoing was "NEWBORN PORN!"
That is one of the many fucked up things that happens in A Serbian Film.
Critics have either praised or been disgusted by the film and I now know why. Having heard of this film through the festival grapevine (and that it was being banned from film fests) I can honestly say it's a downright despicable film from the beginning and especially towards the end.
In the vain of Palumbo's Murder Set Pieces, Buttgereit's Nekromantik, Oldboy, August Underground and Hostel, the movie shocks and shocks until you vomit and then shocks some more. I of course have made it a point to see all the most fucked up movies and to be honest, yeah it's sickening but not as sickening as I thought it would be.
Could a commentary on Serbia's government and the lives of its citizens NOT be done in such a vile manor? Sure, but nobody would go see it. Only the art cinephiles would see a subtitled film portraying the atrocities of a small country in Eastern Europe.
So Srdjan Spasojevic and writer Aleksandar Radivojevic decided to go the exploitation/horror sub genre to make a point. Exploitation is now the new chic, the "It" genre, the rebooted sub genre that used to be the stepchild of the horror genre.
And that's why I think it's effective. Can anybody truly "like" a movie like this? Of course not. But in it's perverted, fucked up way, it was effective in doing the 3 things it set out to do.
Shock the hell out of people
Say something important
Get people talking
Be honest, it does all 3 and it does it well. Boring Plot-O-Matic
Milos is a former porn star who is down on his luck financially. When he receives a call from his long-time movie actress partner, Layla, he welcomes her call. Apparently she's heard that a new film director wants to hire Milos to star in his "artistically-designed" porn film for a very generous price. He is easily lured form his semi-retirement by the lucrative offer, agreeing to meet the director in an isolated mansion.
As the filming progresses, Milo begins to suspect that the director's intentions may be darker than mere pornography. As the film begins to devolve into a horrifically violent production, Milos finds escape may not be an option Awesome Review-O-Matic
To tell you which scenes were most shocking is like telling you what part of the haunted house the scares are going to come from. If I just wrote down and described to you all the WTF moments, it wouldn't have the same impact as seeing it. So no spoilers here.
"My son is 15 years old and wanted to see this film at a friends house. He can watch most horror films OK and enjoys them but I'm a bit worried about this one. Is it really that bad?"
American Remake?
Hahahaha. Too funny. Umm no kids should not being watch a movie that has pornography, rape, bloody violence and Skinemax style sexual acts. Jeez.
But I digress. The movie is indeed an extreme film that will jolt Joe Moviegoer and make even the most jaded viewer cringe. (hahaha pun intended). I'm adding fuel to the fire. So how does this controversial film accomplish what it set out to do?
What the shock?
The first 40 or so minutes is set up. We follow Milos, a now retired porn star with a wife and little boy. We can see he yearns slightly for his past sexcapades but his ultimate driving force is for his family. The set up is not without it's weird scenes as we see Milos's 5 yr old son watch his father's work via VHS (yes VHS!).
It's not until Milos agrees to star in Vukmir's "art" porn that our "artist of fuck" starts to wonder what he's gotten himself into. Soon he's being followed by bodyguards doubling as camera operators. Spasojevic litters the next 30 or so minutes with hard to stomach scenes ranging from violent BJs, To Catch a Predator innuendo and the kicker of it all "newborn porn". I'm going to leave that last bit alone. It's enough to make me cringe all over again.
The film is no holds barred when it comes to sex. Bordering on porn, it's full frontal with all its nudity and its simulated sex scenes. There isn't any soft music with rose petals here dude. It's grimy, filthy, bloody violent sexual insanity. All of it contained in a feverish frenzy of nightmares and reality mixed in.
Slowly Milos is trapped on an endless loop of depravity where he loses himself. Discovering what's been done to him, he goes all vengeance served cold but it's far to late. When we get to the end, the climax is reprehensible and the twists are revealed and the ultimate WTF moment is shown to our now raped retinas.
The movie does a decent job of slowly burning the shock into our minds. The first scenes Milos has to "film" are tame in the beginning but become more fucked up as we go along. By the time we see the reveal of everything that has happened, you are tolerable enough to withstand the impact (well at least I was).
Yes the movie shocks and awes and punches you in the balls with a steel toed boot. I'll admit, it does everything as advertised. So say something important
If I really think about it hard enough, yeah there is a slight political message in the film. Milos, a common man is seduced into making an art house porn film (if there is such a thing which is an argument in itself). Slowly, he is turned into a raving sexual lunatic made to do the most deplorable acts by the director.
If the message by Srdjan Spasojevic and Aleksandar Radivojevic is to say that ordinary men were tricked by the Serbian government to kill and commit unspeakable atrocities during the Yugoslavian war and they have still not recovered, it's definitely within the context of the film.
Sex and violence are almost interchangeable within the world of film these days. If this movie had been about an ex military sniper who is lured back to kill again, we would not even give this type of movie a second guess. Say this sniper killed not just men but women and kids, we'd be aghast but not completely shocked. But A Serbian Film substitutes sex for violence and somehow it's more sickening. Sex and violence go hand in hand and the filmmakers know this. They're aware of how the old 70s American grindhouse movie would justify rape with revenge. Do they do this effectively? Like a punch in the face, yeah they do.
Porn is the cinematic equivalent of an action themed blood soaked war film. Is seeing rape depicted on scene far worse than seeing a man shot point blank in the head? Aren't these similar in fuckedupness? Both are acts of violence yet somehow one is worst than another?
Americans don't really know about what goes on outside our borders. I only recently understood the Yugoslavian war through a ESPN 30 for 30 documentary about Vlade Divac and Drazen Petrovic. If somehow the director and writer wanted to make a statement about their country's plight to me, the average American cinephile, they picked the genre with the most impact.
Hell, I can't resist a exploitation movie.
Damn, now I'm talking about this
So with my positive review, I've chosen the side which believes the movie has a point to prove. Can it be said that other shocking films have one? The fact that A Serbian Film can say something says a lot about this most messed up movie.
Sometimes, a food doesn't look all too good. It also smells and looks peculiar. But when you bite into it, it taste fuckin awesome.
I'm not saying I'm going to eat A Serbian Film all the time, but I'd say for the adventurous and probably jaded viewers out there, it's a good solid snack. There aren't many movies out there that take chances that want to shock the shit out of people. Most of the ones have come overseas which includes Martyrs, Inside and Them. These films go over the proverbial edge to make a point. They try to drop an ACME anvil over your head to make a statement.
I can say adamantly A Serbian Film clearly does that.
Nude-ipedia
Tons of full frontal nudity by hot women BBA trifecta (boobs, bush and ass) Full frontal male nudity
Gore-ipedia
Beheaded head splatter Head bashing Gun shot trauma Tons of carnage
WTF moment
Newborn pron?!??! The climactic ending
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
The film has made it's way through a bunch of film festivals. Supposedly in the UK, it's been cut by 3 minutes.
Should you see it?
Yeah why the fuck not? It's not everyday you see a movie which is a total mindfuck. I make it my mission to challenge myself by viewing movies that want to challenge the way I think about the world and also to challenge my psyche and my senses. Plain and simple, A Serbian Film does both. The Vitals
I never think a director or writer ever reads my reviews. The Jaded Viewer is a small corner of the interweb and I mean you'd think they'd be to busy to bother to read what a NYC horror blogger has to say about their film.
But when I reviewed Gary King's Dismal: Eat or be Eaten, I kinda made a few zingers at the movie's expense. Shockingly, I got an e-mail from writer and producer Bo Buckley and he appreciated that I reviewed the film even though it wasn't overly positive.
Added to this, I actually didn't know about director Gary King's other work too. His filmography reads like an art house menu of NYC based films. So when Mr. Buckley informed me that he had teamed up with Gary King again, and this time it was a kung fu zombie comedy, I didn't know what to think. The trailer looked pretty hilarious though but would this end up dismal like Dismal?
I'm glad to say it didn't.
Death of the Dead is a campy horror kung fu comedy, comparable to seeing a YouTube video of a dude getting kicked in the groin. Think Karate Kid meets Troma and throw in a little bit of Scary Movie and some Zucker Brothers. Mix in a blender and you got Death of the Dead.
I'll admit I LOL-ed throughout most of the movie as the gags, inside jokes, 4th wall breaking jokes had me on the floor. Sure it's an indie production but it doesn't look like it. The dialogue winked at the audience a few times, the CGI (which didn't work in Dismal) seemed right at home in this comedy and the acting by our lead Christina Rose who plays Wanda is spot on brilliant.
Sure some jokes fell flat and a few scenes were mostly filler but it's not like your watching Inception here. It's definitely a film that cliches itself to death (all intentional) and includes a scene with ball busting numchucks.
I mean what more can you ask for? Boring Plot-O-Matic It's Karate Kid meets 28 Days Later in this over-the-top horror / action / comedy from Strange Stuff Productions. Wanda is an uber nerd with the coordination of a seizure victim. Her karate trainer is an aging pervert with a penchant for ball gags and various sex toys. When a bus from a rival karate school accidentally runs over a couple scientists dumping a toxic chemical down the sewer, the entire class is turned into high flying, flesh eating baddies!
As they wreak havoc on the town turning others into zombie ninjas, Wanda and her instructor must save the planet with the help of a magic karate belt. That's right, I said MAGIC KARATE BELT. An epic feature full of brains, boobs and bad ass bitches, Death of the Dead is fun for the whole family!
Awesome Review-O-Matic
There have been a ton of horror parodies of late. Zombieland and Scary Movie come to mind. But in the indie world, these comedies are not often seen but they rival the best Hollywood has to offer.
Death of the Dead is chock full of sight gags, toilet humor and self aware jokes that it had me laughing at all this kung fu foolery. It's also smart enough to not be those movies where you parody the latest popular movie (sorry Twilight fans). What it does is take 2 genres, the karate action movie and the zombie movie and mixes in the cliches from both to make a comedy that cleverly mocks the mockery.
I'm not usually good at reviewing comedies so I'm turning this review into a jaded viewer cliche review with the old standby Q&A review! This is where I answer the questions I make up that I think you'd ask.
1.) Wanda is Daniel-son type uber nerd but she transforms into a kick ass, karate zombie killer. OK I can buy that, but she gets naked right?
Alas no nudity by our zombie killing vixen but in the first 3 minutes we get boobs and thats a plus in my book. The opening scene has stereotypical cheerleaders doing stereotypical cheerleading things like being bitchy, cat fighting and being lesbian.
2.) So the relationship between Wanda and her sensei is strictly platonic right? Does that mean I get to see boobs?
Jeez, what's your obsession with boobs dude? Wanda and Master Sensei develop a bizarro world Daniel-Miyagi relationship. The first half of the movie is a total Karate Kid parody complete with Wanda being made fun of and a final karate tournament match. DOTD skewers 80s montages, the old Cobra-Kai cliche and the evil sensei.
And then there's a cat fight in a kiddie pool filled with mud....or it could have been poo. My money is on poo.
3.) I'm not that literate when it comes to theoretical quantum physics. What do you mean by 4th wall?
The most hilarious moments are when the movie breaks the 4th wall. From visible boom operators to a very noticable stunt double, I can't help but laugh when this happens. It's a brilliant gag that hasn't been used very much. Think Wayans I'm Gonna Git you Sucka and Menace. Last time I saw this was in Black Dynamite.
DOTD somehow places these gags in just the right places and at the right time. Like if I told you right now I was writing this while eating a McRib. See what I mean?
4.) WTF man! Kung Fu Zombies?
So some toxic goo turns the evil Cobra-Kai team into zombies and they take over Cleveland, OH. I know what your thinking. Kung fu zombies is a brilliant adversary for our uber nerd turned slice happy Wanda. As the town is overrun, Master Sensei and his box of sex toys try to save the day.
5.) I heard that ILM did the special effects for this. Is that true?
I joked that the CGI in Dismal was bad at one point wrote "The CGI fire and explosion look so fake, it's like they put a lighter in front of the camera." The same effects return here. But somehow when you see a zombie split in half and it looks cheesy, you laugh and you know its part of the joke.
6.) Ummmm so this is a smart kung fu zombie horror comedy? Are you on drugs?
[Inhales via bong while simultaneously doing crystal meth]
What? Nope not on drugs. The thing about DOTD is its kinda smart with its in jokes. Bo Buckley inserts a few ha ha's while ridiculing the cliche of exposition and plot explaining. The characters are stereotypical but somehow feel unique and different with some anti-cliche personalities.
I don't know. I kinda dug Wanda's nerdo to hottie transformation as well as her gothy sidekick in tow. I even laughed at Master Sensei's stupidity. 7.) It can't all be good. Something must have sucked. What was the suckage?
Well there were a few jokes that didn't work. There is so many dick and fart jokes I can take. You'd think gross out humor and over the top props and sexual innuendo would be fun, but some jokes are done over and over again. The fight scenes were completely laughable but I didn't care because Wanda was slicing and dicing in a Wonder Woman outfit bought from an S&M store. Yum.
8.) So what's the deal here? Am I going to like this? Is their subtle satire in this comedy that will make me reevaluate the world?
Umm no. It's a fun little indie horror comedy that is a total time waster. I would say Death of the Dead is right up there with the best Troma movies (maybe even a bit better). Gary King makes the movie completely coherent and has good set up then punchline scenes. The writing has got lots of smarty jokes, the acting is top notch led by Christina Rose as Wanda.
Death of the Dead smartly recognizes what the audience knows, what it's making fun of and what the audience wants. There hasn't been a horror comedy about kung fu zombies that I know of. Let Death of the Dead be your first.
WTF moment
Wanda gets revenge on the "Sweep the leg Johnny!" character
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
I believe Death of the Dead is playing a few film fests before it gets released on DVD. Check out the official site for more info.
**Hello fellow Redditors, it seems you are all curious of this
haunted house that other haunted houses are afraid of. I'll be posting
my review of 2012 edition in the next few weeks. In the meantime, be
sure to ask your burning questions in this AMA which The Raven and Black Cat
has created. TRBC and myself have been to at least 4 Blackout haunts
including the infamous invite only Spring event. We're part of the
Survivors Club and we know what we're talking about. Also, head over to
the Jaded Viewer Facebook page and check me out on Twitter. Also check out TRBC on Twitter as well.**
But the one that everybody keeps asking me to spoil for them is this one. I promised to not spoil anything until after Halloween because it would have ruined the experience for anyone who decided to go.
Also out of respect for Josh Randall and Kris Thor, creators of this brilliant haunted house I wanted to keep the mystery going all the way to October 31st. But Halloween is over and I'm sure they are going to change up next year's version to something more crazier and I can finally divulge what happened. So I'll do this checklist style as it's easier for me to remember.
The entrance is non descript. Just a random building on 26th street b/w 6th and 7th Avenue. (see my pictures on my Facebook page)
You enter and you have to read the rules and sign a waiver
You (and another participant) are led by Josh into a section offed room surrounded by black curtains, here he gives you the surgical mask and asks one more time if you have epilepsy and agree to the rules
Next, you're led to another mini room where strobe lights are flickering like crazy. With the mask and the strobing, you start to get a serious headache (well I did anyway)
After waiting for a few minutes, Josh grabs you and opens up a curtain and tells you to follow string tied against a wall
You follow the string in complete darkness. Somebody tells you to get up against the wall and to put your hands on the wall (police style) where they start touching you on your neck, your head and your arms (you can't tell where it coming from as its completely pitch black dark)
You are then grabbed and led to a chair and told to sit. You sit in complete darkness and at this point my ear was touched and a balloon popped which startled the shit out of me.
You are them told to kneel and I for one was getting tired of kneeling and sat on the floor. A dimly lit tunnel opens up and you are told to crawl through the tunnel. A "dead body" looks to be in the tunnel and as you go past it, he grabs you and holds you tight. He's starts talking to you to "stay with him" before he lets you go.
You go down some stairs into the "basement" where you meet this hottie mental patient. She instructs you to look into a broken mirror and speaks incoherently. It's at this point the freakiness occurs. She puts masking tape on your earlobes and then reaches underneath her patient gown and licks up the blood she has found. She takes the remaining blood and wipes it on your mask. You then proceed to the next room.
In the next room, another asylum hottie instructs you to sit in a weird swiveling dental chair. Here, she started sniffing me and looking at me provocatively. She then removed my right shoe and sock and gave me air traffic controller noise cancelling headphones.
As I enter another room, I'm attacked by thugs who lift up my shirt and use a staple gun on my now exposed flesh. Now again in complete darkness you are told to kneel and your hands are tied behind your back. A mask is placed your head (probably a burlap sack of some sort). The man tells me to "BARK LIKE A DOG!" I concur and do my best Snoopy impersonation. He yells at me again to "BARK LOUDER!!!". I do. Now he tells me to scream. Then again. Then again and louder. I do as I am told (well its in the rules)
I am told to get up and I began to feel like somebody was squeezing me. I now have the surgical mask on, a hood over my head and my hands are tied behind my back. Now somebody is squeezing me and/or pressing me against a wall and it's getting kind of hard to breathe. This seemed to go on for like 10 minutes in my head (but it could have been 3 minutes). To me, this was the most frightening part of the whole thing. This is probably the point where the SAFETY word gets called. I thought about it and said FUCK NO. I gotta review this baddest of the bad haunted houses. And I endured. But I gotta tell you folks, this is the closest to being tortured I've ever felt.
After you are dehooded and the headphones are removed you go down a long room which is littered by condoms and has old TVs that are part surveillance camera and you are actually viewing yourself going down the hallway. I try to not step on any condoms with my exposed right foot. I mean shit....it looked kinda icky.
In the final room, you see a large black man having sex with a white woman on a mattress that's on the floor. (God I hope that was simulated Skinemax sex) The room is dimly lit red and has many shoes littered across the floor. I began to realize I would have to find my shoe from among the many shoes and socks.
The large NAKED black man (and I mean completely naked) instructs to me go to the corner which blocks the view of the bed. I hear some grunting and see a few glimpses of naked flesh as I peek at what's going on. I keep creeping to see what the fuck is happening when the large black dude tells me to get on the bed.
Now I'm on the bed and I look at the NAKED woman (who has some awesome boobs) and the black man starts playing with my exposed foot. As he plays some weird game with my foot, the woman starts to hug and grab me yelling "Get me outta here!" and "He's crazy!".
The black dude stops his foot massage and grabs my shoe and tells me to "Get out!"
I go up a flight of stairs and am told by the staff to put my shoe on.
You are then told to go to a bathroom and to wait there then unexpectedly are grabbed yet again and are thrown out into the exit.
You "look" like you've run out of the house but in reality you have been thrown out.
The End
Sure, it sounds like no big deal. Condoms, naked people, pretend vagina blood may sound cheesy but it was fuckin intense. Especially the mock torture. Hell some people might get off on this, but I am not one of those people.
I actually got to talk to Josh Randall after my experience and a few things changed from last years version. Flashlights are gone and the ending was the torture. The final room was added in as was a few of the performers acting looney.
I was curious as to whether or not females get the same treatment as their male counterparts when they go through this haunted house. Josh wrote me:
"The answer to your question is - no. the experience is pretty much exactly the same for both genders. Everyone has their own journey, sure, but that's mainly due to how differently everyone behaves. If someone's visibly upset and shaky the actors might go the extra mile to really effect them. On the other end of the stick is if someone is relatively neutral and unresponsive, the actors will most likely back off a bit and go the subtle and subversive route. Having said that, the "narrative" is always the same for both men and women."
I can describe to you what happened but to describe what I was feeling during it is a whole different thing. Because your going through it alone, there is nobody to hold on to, nobody to joke about it to and all that's left is your own thoughts and the frightening feeling of what would happen next. I can't convey to you what I was deeply scared at some points during the experience and at other times a little WTF-ed.
Well, that be your walkthrough and spoilers. Some of you may think this was goofy, cheesy or stupid, but it was fuckin crazy awesome. I've never experienced a full spectrum of fear then in this psychological horror experiment.
I asked you all who should be in the Action Hall of Fame and you left some great comments. I got some great feedback and a few others chimed in via the poll and comments.
Jackie Chan is your winner! As you can see in the poll below he garnered 51 out of 182 votes.
Coming in second was my man Jean Claude Van Damme followed by Jason Statham in 3rd. Jackie Chan is most deserving to be in the Hall with the likes of Schwarenegger, Willis and Stallone. His action resume is freakin stellar on both sides of the ocean.
I got some great comments on why Jackie Chan came in first. See below.
Alyssa wrote:
"Jackie Chan is the shit.. no one compares, and he is an amaizing person who made worldwide people entertained with his sick ass moves!"
JustinH wrote:
"jackie chan without a doubt, forget his american movies, what he has done for world cinema throughout the late 70's until now has been incredible. The amount of pain doing them death defying stunts and brilliant fight choreography are untouched. Also he's a director,producer,writer,stunt chor,fight chor,singer,editor, everything. he is the ultimate action hero."
Rabid Fox wrote:
"Begrudgingly, I must tip my hat to Jackie Chan. I enjoy so few of his movies, but there's no doubt that the guy's filmography is prolific. And the guy does so many of his own stunts, I have found the end credits to his movies where they show the mishaps of stunt work to be more enjoyable than the actual film."
Thanks to all who voted and I'll be coming up with a new poll soon!
I'm totally hooked on Tales from Beyond the Pale. It's totally makes my morning commute go by like a flash when I'm on the train. I download the episode, load it up to my iPhone and I got 30 minutes of entertainment. Like I said when I reviewed the first 2 episodes, Glass Eye Pix brings about the evolution of horror radio. Top notch star voice talent, great suspenseful stories in half an hour and some sound effects that make it feel real.
Is this Seat Taken?
This Oracle Moon
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