Has a long lost love died horribly in a devastating car accident?
Don't let death get in the way on Valentine's Day. We here at The Corpe Lover Factory won't let you spend a Valentine's Day alone. With a special price plan special today, we can bring your loved one who's long past to your door in 24 hours!
You're probably scared of diseases and stench. Don't worry! We'll take care of any olfactory and deterioration that might cause an issue between you and your special person.
Don't take my word for it. Check out what our customers have had to say.
"CLF was professional and courteous when my husband fell down from a large plant. They brought back my husband in even a better condition then when he was alive. Even when he lost a special part, they replaced it free of charge!"
-Jill (Beantown USA)
"My girl was accidentally poisoned...you know not by me or anything....but I called up CLF and they brought her to me so we could be together one more time and this time we're gonna go out together!"
-Romeo (Shakesland, USA)
One of our customers even put together this tribute video!
So call today! We'll dig up your loved one, clean em up and plop em on your sofa in 24. Only 20 installments of $19.99!
Call 555-CORPSE-F*CKER!
0 comments:
Post a Comment