Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Roommate (Review)

The Roommate

The Roommate (2011)

Directed by Christian E. Christiansen

[this review brought to you by Insano Steve, who got a 4.0 after his freshman year roommate went mental]

I knew from the moment I first saw the trailer for “The Roommate”, that it was a must-see movie (not necessarily a must-pay-to-see). As a bad movie connoisseur, I was pleased when this film received less than 10% positive reviews. Comically bad acting and incoherent plots are what I’m all about.

The Roommate definitely delivered the bad movie I was hoping for.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

College student Sara finds that her new roommate Rebecca has an obsession with her, which quickly turns violent.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Plot: SPOILER: If you’ve seen the 1992 film, “Single White Female”, then you already know all the spoilers for this movie. The Roommate is essentially a remake. The setting this time moving from uppity NYC to the University of Los Angeles (good ole ULA!) Almost everything else is verbatim. SWF has the better acting. The Roommate has the better overacting.

And a more attractive cast.

Acting: The regular girl is played by Minka Kelly who is smoking hot, but not that much of an actress. She can play beautiful and horrified very well. Not sure if she can handle much more than that. Kelly is the real-life girlfriend of New York Yankee/son of a bitch, Derek Jeter.

The psycho girl is played by Leighton Meester. Though not as pretty as Kelly, she is obviously the better actress. She provides some decent chills in the movie, especially when she starts beating herself up (with a boxcutter!).

The other notable character is Minka Kelly’s boyfriend in the film, Stephen, who plays the douchebag fratboy with the heart of gold. His character spends the entire movie squinting for some reason.

Gore: Well, this was a PG-13 movie, so nothing could be genuinely be considered gore. But there were some notable scenes such as:
  1. Belly button trauma
  2. Mid-coitus homicide
  3. Hyperthermic feline-icide

T&A: Very sad to report that there was none. Unfortunately, this is the price to pay for having semi-famous actresses. There are mild simulated sex scenes, and some gratuitous lesbian experimentation. But certainly nothing titillating. But, I have to give kudos for the random cinematography!

The WTF Moment:

You Were Never My Friend”

My favorite scene in the film, was one of those obsession-movie clich├ęs. While Kelly and Meester are at a coffee shop, they encounter a girl that Meester had terrorized previously.

A very bizarre conversation ensues. It’s always an awkward moment to meet up with an old friend who had tried to psychologically destroy you in high school.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

If you like bad movies, the Roommate will not let you down. Go in with the lowest expectations and you will be pleasantly surprised. You can forget what those 50 year old dinosaur movie critics say (hey Rex Reed, do the world a favor and kill yourself).

In a sold out movie theater filled with audience participation, the Roommate is a fun-filled 90 minutes!

The Vitals

(because it was so bad its good logic)

Check out the trailer.

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  1. This definitely is a bad movie. Filled with too many stars from the CW to make it interesting, and the reason there is no T&A. Totally agree that Kelly is hot and can't act, while Meester isn't all right and a much better actress. Surprised you didn't mention the blond girl. I thought she was hot, and still a better actress than Kelly. Great review!

  2. Right on. Great review. Fun action. But, an appalling lack of T&A. Somehow, someway, I think i could still masturbate to this.