It's rare that I get asked to talk about myself and my blog. But when I do, it's an honor and I will go out of my way to make it as fun as possible. So when the awesome-tastic site Stuff Monsters Like asked me to do a celebrity interview, I said "Who's the celebrity? Wait you mean me?"
So I obliged and answered the questions in only the way I can...by being all around goofy. Check out the interview and read my thoughts on the state of horror, how the jaded viewer got started and which country makes the best horror movies. Plus I think I make a reference to porn. I'm pretty sure I do. Yup, tons of free porn.
Searching through my jaded viewer folder, I discovered an interview I did a while back for Stacie Ponder, who runs the awesome blog Final Girl. She started an interview feature where she sent all of us horror bloggers 23 questions to answer and she'd post the Q&A up on her site so others could discover new horror blogs. Well it looks like I didn't make the cut as the "bloggernaire" abruptly ended in the summer of 2010 and I never got posted.
Crap.
Well after reading my answers (they're fuckin awesome BTW) I figure I'd share my responses with all of you. I figure you should know more about me and if this were posted on Final Girl it would have helped my horror blogger cred. I'm sure Stacie would have posted my Q&A eventually so it's all good in any case. At least now I got a pre-packaged interview for you to read up. Hey, it's still an honor sorta being part of "The Bloggenaire"!
I also just got interviewed by Stuff Monsters Like and their interview (hopefully) will be posted in late January of next year. Cool beans all around. Well here is the jaded viewer's bloggernaire. Enjoy!
Your name: Jeff Your blog's name / URL: The Jaded Viewer (http://www.jadedviewer.com)
1) What's the key moment that led you to click that "Start Your Blog" button?
My friend and I use to trade movies back in the old Internet days. So in order to entice more trades, we started reviewing the movies we had in both our collections. Most of our reviews were nonsensical, whimsical and very incoherent. But they were very very funny.
I wanted to share my reviews with everyone, hoping they’d get a chuckle and half out of them. As the blog evolved, my posts became my mindless thoughts on anything horror related.
2) Please describe your blog in no more than 3 sentences. You must include the words / phrases "morbid", "aesthetic", and "electromagnetic".
What’s the jaded viewer other than a morbid parking space on the internet? It’s got electromagnetic posts of fun, a lost aesthetic of all that is wicked and free popcorn for the first 500 visitors. And porn without the nudity.
3) Bearing in mind that opinions are subjective (except mine because I'm always right), do you enjoy movies that are generally considered "bad"? Why or why not?
Bad movies fall into my “they’re so bad, I can MST3K them” which turns a bad apples into apple sauce. When you can make fun of a movie with help from friends, nothing can be scratch your eyeballs bad.
4) Did you know that there exists one variety of carnivorous parrot? It's true. They live in the mountains of New Zealand, and they eat the fat surrounding the kidneys of sheep- WHILE THE SHEEP ARE ALIVE. It's horrible.
Thank the Feebles, Peter Jackson can obliterate these creatures with an RPG.
5) What's the one- ONE- horror movie you love so much you want to stick it down your pants?
Fulci’s Zombi 2. You’d think after my 1,234,678th viewing of zombie vs. shark it’d get kinda boring. If only Fulci made the shark suffer some ocular trauma I’d be in ecstasy.
6) Adrienne Barbeau. Discuss.
My most recent Adrienne Barbeau sighting was seeing her in the awesome short Alice Jacobs is Dead. She was absolutely stellar playing a sick human to zombie wife.
7) Why should people bother to read your blog?
It chops, it can be used to keep you warm and it’s been described as LOLs, WTFs!??!, OMGs and WOW! What is this product that can do so much but cost a fortune? It’s The Jaded Viewer! Reviews of your favorite mainstreaminess with a few indie horror mixed in. And if you call now you won’t just get reviews, we’ll even include Lists (who doesn’t love lists?), exclusive shorts and pictures of horror hotties that are banned in Utah. Did I forget to mention it’s made out of 100% recyclable material? Are you ready to order?
8) Where does Jigsaw get all the money he needs to build all those traps and buy all that warehouse space? Better yet, does he have some sort of engineering background? He must, right, if he designs all that crap?
He totally won the lottery and got a degree in engineering from the University of Phoenix. Also, he’s enslaved elves to help him build those traps. Super smart, college educated elves.
9) Several theories regarding the reasons why people would subject themselves to watching horror films (when they're so, you know, traumatic) exist. Which is closest in line with your feelings on and reactions to the genre? Feel free to elaborate. Or don't, see if I care.
a) RELIEF THEORY: The unpleasant feelings of distress cause more stimulating feelings of relief when the unpleasantness passes- the stressed arousal caused by fear becomes pleasurable arousal later on. b) CONTINUOUS REWARD: The excitement felt during the film is the appeal in and of itself. c) SOCIAL THEORIES: 1) Stereotypical gender roles are reinforced: men act as protectors, women need protection. 2) Violating social norms- watching "deviant" entertainment- is exciting. 3) Experiencing heightened emotions with others makes us feel like we "belong" and we're truly part of a group.
It’s gotta be C. There hasn’t been a C in like forever. In any case, most horror is watched with social aspect whereas most of society’s social mores are thrown into a tailspin. We don’t usually see a slasher or monsters in our normal, everyday boring lives and seeing these as entertainment make us all experience something together that draws on all our common fears. Deviant entertainment is only deviant to the ones doing the labeling. To the horror fan, it’s a Friday night. 10) Which year produced better horror movies: 1977 or 1981? Why?
1981. Two movies: Evil Dead and Cannibal Ferox. 11) What the eff is up with those French and their crazy horror flicks?
I know right? For the last 2 years I’ve picked Martyrs and Inside as my best horror movies of the year. Our biased American assumption that the French are sniveling cowards who drink lots of wine and eat croissants is sadly untrue. They are actually a people bent on taking over the world through horror cinema. Subliminal horror movies that tell us to CONSUME and BREED. You know what I’m getting at right?
12) What's your favorite Animals Run Amok movie?
Gremlins 2. Oh those silly gremlins!
13) If Jason Voorhees is on a train heading east at 80mph and Leatherface is on a train heading west at 65mph…why the hell would anyone ever watch Rob Zombie's Halloween?
Trick question! Rob Zombie didn’t actually direct Halloween. It was Uwe Boll.
14) What are your funereal wishes?
Funeral? That’s so 2004. I’m getting myself cryogenically frozen.
15) Why do I have such a fondness for Shelley Hack? It's not like she's really done much to deserve it, but there it is.
I think it’s the same feeling I have for Jean Claude Van Damme. Insert dancing Van Damme animated gif here.
16) You're on a sinking ghost ship that's being piloted by a witch. What are your last words?
“Yo Glinda, Imma let you finish, but Hermione Granger had one of the best boat crashes of the year.”
17) Asking about your funereal wishes and your last words means nothing, I swear.
No worries. I’ve had multiple blogicide attempts over the last year.
18) Do you know where I can get some lye?
Tyler Durden….is that you?
19) Weren't you glad when THAT JERK in THAT HORROR MOVIE got what was coming to him?
Totally happy. After he escaped from the unkillable slasher, I heard he got a college education, opened up a car wash franchise and married the hot high school cheerleader he had a crush on.
And abruptly died from a massive coronary after eating at a Carl’s Jr. Hahaha sucker!
20) Overall, what’s your favorite era of horror films?
80s. The birth of the horror franchise. 21) Would you rather be: 1) a vampire 2) a witch/warlock 3) a werewolf 4) a Frankenstein (and yes, I know technically it’s “Frankenstein’s monster” but “a Frankenstein” sounds better) 5) a Jaws
Vampires sparkle. Being a witch/warlock seems to involve lots of memorization, werewolves are hairy, Frankensteins are too slow… That leaves a Jaws. Who wouldn’t wanna be a motherf*ckin shark?
22) If you could turn back time- if you could find a way- would you take back those words that hurt me, so I’d stay?
Stacie, it’s time you learned the truth. I'm from the future. I came here in a time machine that I invented and tomorrow I have to go back to the year 1985.
23) What's something you want people to know about you or your blog that I didn't ask?
My rating system is based on Van Damme spinkicks. I also tend to write my reviews in an FAQ style which on occasion turns out quite hilarious. Also, I have a running joke where if a quote from a review I’ve written appears on the back of a DVD box, I will immediately terminate the blog.
I’m serious. OK maybe 30% serious.
EXTRA CREDIT! You can ask me a question, if you want to.
So now that you’re super famous, can we expect a reality show following your exploits?
*************************************************************** Is there anything else you want to know about me? I guess leave your question in the comments and I'll take a crack at it. And to answer your first question, it's front to back.
Well we here at the jaded viewer got a world exclusive! I got to interview Mr. Jason Voorhees of Crystal Lake. In the brief transcript of the interview below, you'll get insight into the man, the icon and the legend of Jason. Here he lets loose on a variety of topics ranging from his favorite kill to his secret crushes of his favorite final girls.
It's got some juicy gossips for you TMZ-ish horror fans. Check out the interview below!
The Jaded Viewer: Thanks Mr. Voorhees for taking some time out of your busy schedule to talk to us. We only saw you a year ago and you looked a little sluggish with your latest performance. Some critics hammered you on your diminishing killing abilities. What do you have to say to these naysayers?
Jason Voorhees:
TJV: Interesting. You do have a point there. I never thought about that. So fans of your work want to know what your best kill was. Got any favorites?
JV: [heavy breathing]
TJV: Wow, fascinating. That wasn't on many top 10 lists that I know of. OK let's switch gears and talk about who was your greatest foe. Which final girl gave you the most trouble?
JV:
TJV: Now that's a shocker! Did the other counselors know about you two?
JV:
TJV: Yeah I totally agree. Most girls have a difficult time getting over the "killing thing". You'd think that be part of the package. So are you two still friends?
JV:
TJV: Ummm with the machete huh? Breakups can be bad. We know all about your mom. It's been well documented. But I wanna know about your dad. Can you tell our viewers who your dad was and what was he like?
JV: [deep heavy breathing]
TJV: That's unbelievable. Do you think that contributed to who you are today?
JV:
TJV: Wow. I mean that's something nobody knows about you at all. I'm sure people now know who the real Jason Voorhees is because of that little fact. Anything else you want our viewers to know?
JV:
TJV: Will do Mr. Voorhees. Thanks again for taking the time to talk to us today. Good luck in your future killings and I hope you continued success.
JV:
***********************************************
What do you think about these shocking revelations by Jason Voorhees? Does it change your perception of the iconic slasher? Do you think he'll survive this public ordeal? How will his fellow slashers react to this news? Chime in and let your voice be known!
In my review of Death of the Dead (read full review here) I wrote Christina Rose's performance was "brilliant" and described Rose's character Wanda ".....was slicing and dicing in a Wonder Woman outfit bought from an S&M store. Yum."
As you can see in the photo above, I wasn't lying was I?
Gary King's Death of the Dead is a hilarious film that turns the zombie and kung fu genres upside down and produces a bucket of laughs. So intrigued my Christina Rose's performance, I wanted to get to know the actress behind nerdy Wanda. So thus is born the first jaded viewer interview. Christina Rose was gracious enough to answer my goofy questions. Thanks Christina!
1.) Tell us a little about yourself. Be sure to include the adjectives like awesome, beautiful and zombie killer. :-)
An awesome fun fact about me is that I was born in Naples, Italy. I have a beautiful family of six including three sisters, my mom and dad, and my amazing dog Sammy :-) . I’m a New York based Actress who has worked professionally in Film, TV, Commercials, Broadway, and am also a professional Zombie Killer. :-)
2.) How did you get involved with Death of the Dead?
Gary King and I had been in contact before this film. He was hired onto the project and was able to recommend me to the producers of the film. I auditioned for the role of ‘Wanda’, and the rest is history! 3.) Your performance as I wrote in my review was brilliant. Have you acted in a comedy before? Is acting in a comedy (especially in a horror comedy) different from your previous work?
Thank you for the wonderful compliment. My first feature film that I fhot was called ‘Happy Birthday Harris Malden’, in which I played the supporting role of ‘Elsa’. This film was a comedy, but the style was very different from ‘Death of the Dead’. I’ve also performed in many stage plays/musicals that were comedies as well, such as playing ‘Adelaide’ in ‘Guys and Dolls’ and ‘Marty’ in ‘Grease’ on Broadway.
Acting in ‘Death of the Dead’ (a horror comedy) is both similar and different to my previous work. I find that the main ingredient for an actor in playing any role in any comedy is finding the TRUTH in the moments that the character is living. The actor should never ‘try’ to be funny or witty. If the actor is living in the moment and experiencing what the character is going through then humor will arise.
Physical comedy was prominent in some of the previous work that I mentioned and in ‘Death of the Dead’. As an actress I have to be very open and unlimited in the use of my body when it comes to a comedy. Some things work, and others don’t, but you have to be willing to experiment.
4.) I think Wanda might be the new Buffy we've been looking for. Her transformation from clueless nerd to kick ass zombie killer was fun to watch. How did you approach the role and what kind of characteristics did you give her that weren't in the script?
I knew that the character had to go through a huge transformation after reading the script. In the audition my main goal was to show the diversity between the two sides of ‘Wanda’ by making strong choices. I knew there needed to be a big physical transformation as well as the character’s personality.
During the audition process I made some specific choices for ‘Nerdy’ Wanda. I knew the character was unattractive and your ‘typical nerd’ so I wore large glasses, put my hair in a pony tail, and wore baggy clothes. But a character is so much more then just the physical appearance. I had to find out what ‘Nerdy Wanda’ was like beneath her skin (self conscious, socially awkward, weak-yet still having a strong belief in herself).
Once I found out who ‘Wanda’ was from deep within I was really able to enjoy and play with the role. One characteristic that stays throughout the film is Wanda’s big heart and belief that she could be something great!
In the beginning her lack of talent, looks, and all around ability prevent her from moving forward until she obtains the magic belt. So as ‘Sexy Wanda’ she is finally physically able to do everything she has ever dreamed of doing and finally unstoppable! I got to become a super hero. I’m thrilled that I was able to have the opportunity to explore this character and make her what you see onscreen today! 5.) What was it like working with Gary King and Bo Buckley?
Working with the entire creative team was amazing! I don’t think this film could have been what it was without the efforts of every single person involved.
Bo Buckley was a fantastic producer/writer for the film. He helped the production run very smoothly. His positive energy and great business sense and made him a joy to be around on set. Gary King is a splendid director. This was my first time ever working with him. He allows the actor to make various choices per scene. I love that I was able to say the lines a variety of different ways so they had multiple choices to use in the editing room.
Gary is definitely one of the best director’s that I have ever worked with. He really lets the actor get involved with the development of their specific character. He’s a very talented filmmaker, and I see big things for him in the future.
6.) You handled yourself solidly in the action scenes. Did you get any weapons training? What was it like to film the onslaught of these kung fu zombie hordes?
One of my favorite things about this film were the fight scenes. We had such a blast on set, but it was very fast pace. I only had 2 days of training before we started shooting the movie. One day of scene work with the other main actors, and then one day of fight training. On the day of fight/weapon training I learned Bo Staff, Nanchuku, and various Martial Arts moves (kicks, punches, blocks, etc.). My previous experience included Stage Combat, Stunt work (bungee,harness), some Karate, and my dance training.
The person director Gary King and I chose to model my ‘BadAss’ Wanda after was Jean-Claude Van Damme because of his graceful/dance like fighting style. This was my first opportunity to portray a character like this. I really enjoy doing a lot of my own stunt work. I would do it again in a heartbeat!
7.) The movie has quite a few one liners, zingers and hilarious jokes. Do you have any favorites?
A few lines that the audiences seem to remember are:
‘Wanda the wimp’ ‘Wanda the weirdo’ ‘Wanda the weakling’
They’ve become a favorite of mine because I hear these repeated so often!
8.) Any possibility of a sequel if the movie takes off? What would you like to see in a possible sequel?
There are some exciting things happening right now with the film that could eventually lead to a sequel if the audiences dig it enough. We have a current ‘Death of the Dead’ Comic Book in the works, as well as possible action figures. The film has been getting great reviews from the press and the fans, so if it gets the right distribution there is a good chance it could hit a wide audience.
If there is a need or strong desire for a sequel in the future I think we can make it happen. I know the director and producers have already been tossing around ideas. We’ve discussed more of the adventures of ‘Sexy Wanda’ fighting various battles. Gary said it would be the same humor, but more action. So we’ll see! 9.) I see your collaborating again with Gary King again in How Do You Write a Joe Scherman Song which is a musical. How's this film differ from DotD? Also, do you have any future projects coming up?
‘How Do You Write a Joe Schermann Song’ is a Feature Length Movie Musical. So the main difference right off the bat is that there will be singing and dancing in the new film that comes out in 2011. This film is also a drama. We like to say that it’s ‘Once’ meets ‘All that Jazz’. As you can tell ‘Death of the Dead’ is far from a drama. My character in the Movie Musical, Evey, is an aspiring Broadway performer who is struggling with love and life in NYC. My character is VERY different from ‘Wanda’. You will have to watch the film to see more!
I’m very excited for 2011. I have a few Feature Films that are in development right now. I cannot release information on these projects just yet. I would love for people to stay tuned to my Facebook Fan Page, Website, and Twitter to find out my future projects when I can release the information. You can also watch for me in the ‘Lucille Roberts Gym’ Television Commercial that will air all next year (2011). I also have been talking to various filmmakers about projects for 2012.
Thank you to everyone for your support and please continue to follow and support my career! :-)
It's rare that I get asked to talk about myself and my blog. But when I do, it's an honor and I will go out of my way to make it as fun as possible. So when the awesome-tastic site Stuff Monsters Like asked me to do a celebrity interview, I said "Who's the celebrity? Wait you mean me?"
Posts
