Friday, November 08, 2013

The Green Inferno (Review)

The Green Inferno The Green Inferno (2013) Directed by Ei Roth "I wonder who the real cannibals are." -Professor Harold Monroe Its funny. Every now and then I'll check my stats and realize this post "Top 5 Cannibal Movies Of All Time" will get some traffic. It's an old post, the videos don't work anymore but it still resonates with people searching for the exploitation of old. The cannibal genre. I've been itching to see The Green Inferno...

Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Jaded Viewer Halloween Super Awesomeness Adventure Guide

Happy Halloween jaded viewers. If you're looking for super awesomeness today, you've come to the right place. Below you'll find all my reviews for all the NYC haunted houses and Halloween events as well as a few of the Long Island haunts I went to. Whatever your poison is this Halloween, remember to check for razor blades in apples. That really happens. New York City Blackout Elements (2013 review) Nightmare Killers 2 (2013 review) Blood...

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Gateway's Haunted Playhouse (Review)

To find the the very best haunted houses in New York, you sometimes have to venture away from the city. I've been stuck within the city limits, but with the help of The Raven and Black Cat and Survivor Bailey Squared we all jam-packed into a car and road tripped to the various haunts of Long Island a few weeks back. Our final stop was Gateway's Haunted Playhouse, a haunt that has been on top 10 lists and voted #1 haunt in LI for consecutive years....

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The 5 Basic Levels of Haunted Houses

There are a lot of lists on the Internet telling you what the best haunted house in America is. Other lists will tell you what the most extreme haunt is. The Raven and Black Cat has a list of the most extreme haunted houses where they will touch you. Clearly, there are levels of haunted houses ranging from family friendly to WTF.  And though I love haunted hayrides my bread and butter has always been the WTF. More and more haunted houses...

Monday, October 28, 2013

Nyctophobia 2013 (Review)

To find the the very best haunted houses in New York, you sometimes have to venture away from the city. I've been stuck within the city limits, but with the help of The Raven and Black Cat and Survivor Bailey Squared we all jam-packed into a car and road tripped to the various haunts of Long Island a few weeks back. Our second stop was Nyctophobia, an interactive experience I've been dying to try for the last few years.  It changes year after...

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Adventureland's Nightmare on the Midway (Review)

To find the the very best haunted houses in New York, you sometimes have to venture away from the city. I've been stuck within the city limits, but with the help of The Raven and Black Cat and Survivor Bailey Squared we all jam-packed into a car and road tripped to the various haunts of Long Island. Our first stop was Jesse Eisenberg approved, Adventureland's Nightmare on the Midway and if you're looking for a place to take the kids, this is it. The...

Monday, October 21, 2013

Blackout Haunted House: Elements 2013 (NYC Review)

[This is just a review of Blackout Elements. A spoiler filled walkthrough will follow after the show's run ends.] Well if you're reading this fellow jaded viewers, you have probably read all the stuff  I've ever posted about Blackout. There is no doubt that this once upon a time, urban legend of a haunted house, the one where "they touch you" and "they water board you" is now a full fledged powerhouse now running in both NYC and LA and will...

Friday, October 18, 2013

Blood Manor 2013 (Review)

You should be overly familiar of Blood Manor by now. I've reviewed this NYC Haunted House staple for 5 years straight. I first went in 2009, then 2010, 2011 and 2012. So it's been churning out the scares well before I went and it's still going strong. What you'll get from Blood Manor is what you get every year. Scared tweens, tweenagers and brave mom and dads who accompany their kids into an elaborate maze of solid sets, sarcastic and stealthy...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Legends of the Fog Haunted House (Review)

Joined by fellow Blackout Survivor "D" and "C" from The Raven and Blackcat, we ended our Maryland haunted house road trip with Legends of the Fog, a haunt in Aberdeen, MD. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much from this haunt but I had read up they had 3 attractions lined up with one of them being a haunted hayride which would have been my first. On that excitement alone, I went in hoping for the best and to my surprise I left feeling outright...

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Bennett's Curse Haunted House (Review)

When you're planning to go on a haunted house road trip, make sure you're with people who are on the same page as you or you're going to have a bad time. Thank the crazies I have friends who are as insane as I am. Joined by blogger "C' of The Raven and Black Cat and fellow Blackout Survivor "D" we trekked the 3 or so hours to just outside Baltimore, Maryland to hit up not 1 but 2 haunted houses on the same night. First stop was Bennett's Curse...

Monday, September 30, 2013

Nightmare Killers 2 Haunted House (Review)

As you enter Killers 2: A Nightmare Haunted House, a man tells you about the horrors of unsolved murders and gruesome murders of NYC and around the country. It's pretty terrifying to know serial killers are out there, somewhere waiting, hunting. If this doesn't unnerve you a bit, maybe a walking Jeffrey Dahmer lookalike will. The notorious reputation gained from last year's haunted house Tim Haskell's sequel is actually more terrifying and spectacularly...

Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Paris Catacombs are AWESOME, the horror movie is SHIT

So I vaguely remember seeing this Catacombs movie on Showtime late at night a few years back. I never thought anything about it but I figured I'd watch because I had a crush on  Shannyn Sossamon and I mean it had fuckin PINK in it. Honestly, I couldn't tell you if it was scary or hell what ending was it. It was pretty shitty. All I remember is that there should have been no way kids would be able to throw a rave in the fuckin Paris, France...