Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake Trailer Thoughts)

OK, you've all seen the trailer by now. What?!? You haven't? Have you been stuck in South Dakota again? Jeezus. OK, for your viewing pleasure, I've posted it below.

A Nightmare on Elm Street in HD

OK let's start to shred this one with random thoughts shall we?


Where the hell is he running too? Head to the boiler room pronto!


Damn, Freddy Kreuger is fast for a child molester.


We get our first "Hey, It's That Guy". Clancy Brown (Sgt Zim from Starship Troopers and other That Guy roles) is the lead parent mob dude.


Hmm maybe Freddy never actually did molest or kill those kids (Freddy Kreuger FAIL)


Ahh the green and red colors that don't run...that rocked


Michael Bay. Sigh


Yeah it's the jump roping kids. Sing it!!!


This is our new Nancy? She's got the girl next door look but I'd rather just stare at Megan Fox


It's gratuitous internet wallpaper! 1024x768 please.


From Wall Street to Elm Street


1..2...Freddy is coming for you...wait was that just sung by Taylor Swift? I don't want to interrupt but that song was better in the original Nightmare on Elm Street


Blackboards are screaming


Well they just stole that scene shot for shot with the hand in the tub. There should be a disclaimer at the bottom stating "Property of Wes Craven"


So John Connor is our new boyfriend Jesse? You aint know Johnny Depp son.


Really? A car cigarette lighter? Seriously, all you needed to do is drink some Red Bull.


Gratuitous quick shot, tightly edited glimpses and death scenes we've seen already in 1984.


I no like the new font


Rorschach? How'd you end up in this? Get Ozymandias now!
I've got no problem with the voice...I mean it's not like they're gonna dub in Englund or some shit.


Down goes the blonde bimbo


What the fuck is up with our new Freddy Kreuger's face? He's barely got 1st degree burnage here. I'm looking for 6th degrees at least, maybe some decaying tissue and skin falling off, a few blood vessels oozing out. Freddy Kreuger face FAIL.

For high res still and photos from the trailer, head over to Bloody Disgusting's gallery of Freddy.

Overall, they are going back to basics. I am NOT a fan of funny Freddy. I loved when Wes Craven returned Freddy back to his evil of evil in New Nightmare. The first film is so iconic, scary and creative, it's hard to remake this classic.

The teen fodder are MTV award nominees waiting to happen (best death scene anyone) but we'll see how Jackie Earle Haley plays the legend. Because the entire film will depend on whether or not he can pull off what Robert Englund built up. Sorry, you can't overlook that shit. Anybody can don the hockey mask but fuckin Freddy talks....and that's the difference when you put on the red and green, the fedora and the glove.

So to sum it up, I feel blah, ooooohhhh, ugh, wow and hmmm.

OK, I need to know I'm not going crazy. What do you guys think?

Related links: The Thread: What was the worst of Freddy Kreuger's demises?

1 comment:

  1. Who doesn't like gratuitous wallpapers.

    I'm glad Connor is branching out.

    "Really? A car cigarette lighter? Seriously, all you needed to do is drink some Red Bull."


    That blonde was in Taken I believe.

    They couldn't show a decaying face in a trailer for all audiences.

    You forgot he played the Krugen in Highlander as well and was Captain of the guard in Shawshank Redemption.

    Finally, I'll wait and see.