Showing posts with label christina lindberg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christina lindberg. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

10 Things from 70s Times Square that exploitation movies need to bring back


Exploitation and grindhouse movies these days are no longer that exploitative. Sure Tarantino and Rodriguez can call their movie Grindhouse, but somehow if I'm not offended by it, it's not really exploitation. Planet Terror, Death Proof, Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun are all solid flicks but these as you would expect are sanitized Hollywood flicks for the masses.

70s Times Square could care less about the masses. They catered to the guy with the fedora, large sunglasses and trench coat. The true grindhouse films wanted to shock the shit out of you for 70 or so minutes. Bad dubbing, recut and edited foriegn flicks, and retitled films were the standard. But you'd have a wide selection of the WTF and outrageous. Movies that would offend you, test your limits and obliterate your tolerance for the absurd.

Clearly we've all grown up from our 70s scumminess and we'd hope to be a more tolerant and equal society. But a tiny part of me wants to see some exploitative absurdity, something that goes waaaay extreme that you can't believe what you just saw. A millennial Pink Flamingos if you will. 

Will we ever see any of these things/subjects ever made into a feature to call themselves real exploitation?

1.) Super duper racist films

Fight for your Life was completely nuts. Thing about this plot. 3 escaped inmates, a white trash redneck, a Mexican and an Asian violently assault a black minister. You've offended every race in America in one movie. Movies like Goodbye Uncle Tom supposedly cashed in on the blaxploitation craze but 70s grindhouse cashed in by being so offensive, you'd think a race riot would happen in the theater.


2.) Sexually violent deviousness


Ahhh clearly the 70s grindhouse could care less for women. Boobs, butts and skin all to be killed off in horrific fashion. I think of the ridiculousness of Patrick, a movie about a comatose man with psychic powers uses them to manipulate a hot nurse. The kills were wickedly hypnotizing and spawned an even more sexually violent sequel from Italy!

3.) Midgets and Freaks

Have you seen the movie Freaks? It was made in 1932 and starred actual midgets and freaks. Clearly we have to be PC about our little people and visually challenged these days. But the ironic part is this film is actually pretty good, shows them as normal people and featured a part of our society that would have been ignored.

4.) Pimps and Hookers (in Atlantic City)

The only time you see pimps and hookers is on HBO's AC Hookers. Oh what fascinating lives these two groups lead and somehow, yes somehow this could be exploited into some awesome movies if you think of it.

5.) Cannibals a Go Go

It's not like there are anymore cannibal tribes in the world anymore right? Right? I mean even if you stereotyped some tribe to be killer cannibals, it's not like they'd actually see the flick. It's the genre I miss the most. Devil white man gets comeuppance for trying to civilize the savages. It's the formula with a message and the gore.

6.) Mondo Schmondo

 Have you seen the footage of Filipinos crucifying themselves on Easter Sunday? No? Then YouTube it. This shit still happens. All countries still have some crazy, wacky rituals and I don't think we've seen them all.

7.) Experimental Surrealistic Nonsense

We all need a little Alejandro Jodorowsky in our lives.

8.) Something Japanese

Rule 34. If you've thought of something so fucked up, so nasty and so disgusting, chances are the Japanese have made a movie about it.

9.) Slashers who are plain old crazy

Luther the Geek was a movie about a carnival freak who bit the heads off chickens and drinks their blood. He then proceeds to kill random people while clucking. We need more films like this.

10.) The New Christina Lindberg

We need a movie where a girl next door vixen gets violated and then goes all revenge served cold. This is an untapped genre begging and pleading to resurface.

What 70s/80s subgenres from the olden days do you miss? Will we ever see any of these highly offensive subgenres/topics/things ever made in the Hollywood machine or the indie underground?

Chime in!

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

The Forgotten Cult Classics of Cannon Films

One of my favorite MST3K episodes was when they riffed on Alien from LA starring Kathy Ireland. I recently watched this episode on YouTube and it still freakin hilarious. So one thing led to another and I realized this movie was produced by Cannon Films, a now dedunct film company. So doing a bit of research I realized Cannon Films produced a lot of my favorite movies from the 80s and 90s. Such classics like Bloodsport, Masters of the Universe, Cyborg, The Barbarians, the American Ninja series, Cobra and Over the Top.

So what else did they produce? I'm glad you asked. There are quite a few laughers and rock em sock em awesomeness in their collection and I figured I'd pick a few to showcase. To get you ready, here's a seductive picture of Kathy Ireland in her Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue days.

Feeling good? OK let's check out some good schlock and goofiness from some awesome movies courtesy of Cannon Films. First up Alien from LA starring squeaky voice Kathy Ireland.





Oh those center of the world hijinks. Gotta love em. Up next, is Hollywood making a comedy out of nuclear war fear...it's America 3000!





What's a better segway from post apocalyptic 80s hair? Christina Lindberg of course. Here is Maid in Sweden. A young girl's story as she searches for the man of her dreams in Stockholm by sleeping with every man in Stockholm.





How do I top a naked Christina Lindberg? With Captain America of course. You knew this was coming. Fuck the Avengers movie. This has Red Skull!




And finally, the last trailer was the last movie ever produced by Cannon Films. It's Street Knight where Jeff Speakman (aka "The Perfect Weapon") battles Mexicans gangs, Black gangs, the Mafia, the police, convenience store clerks, horses and mechanics.





Got any other favorite Cannon Film classics? Do you remember these flicks? Nostalgia away!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Top 5 Rape and Revenge Movies of All Time


With the remake of The Last House on the Left coming out today, I'd figure I'd get you noobs caught up on this subgenre of exploitation films. For you jaded viewers, move along, these aren't the droids your looking for.

There seems to be a reimagining boom for this genre. Run Bitch Run comes out this year, plenty more will probably come up if Last House grosses a jillion dollars.

There's a few on this list that I'm not covering from what you can read here. I love how Wikipedia summarizes rape and revenge movies in the same ole 3 act structure:

  • Act I: A woman is raped/gang raped, tortured, and left for dead.
  • Act II: The woman survives and rehabilitates herself.
  • Act III: The woman kills all of her rapists.
But check out the trailers below to see whats come before.

Honorable mentions: I Spit on Your Grave, Dogville, the Virgin Springs

Also, House on the Edge of the Park should be on this list as well as it was #2 on my Top 10 Ruggero Deodato Movies of All Time. I've placed that as a bonus trailer at the bottom.

On to the list!

5.) Freeze Me (2000)

Why it kicks ass: Haven't seen it. But its directed by Takashi Ishi so its gonna be crazy right?


4.) Irreversible (2002)

Why it kicks ass: Gasper Noe's reverse chrono flick features Monica Belluci in a sick 20 minute plus rape scene and the most fraked up use of a fire extinguisher as a deadly weapon.

3.) They Call Her One Eye (aka Thriller a Cruel Picture) (1974)

Why it kicks ass: Starring the beautiful Christina Lindberg, this movie has everything you need in your revenge bent vixen: an eyepatch, a shotgun and she's frakin mute. What more needs to be said?

2.) The Last House on the Left (1972)

Why it kicks ass: Wes Craven's first movie delivers the exploitation goods. It should be watched in all its grindhouse glory and not in a shitty remake.

1.) Ms. 45 (1981)

Why it kicks ass: Abel Ferrara's masterpiece of NYC slime and crime. Zoe Lund plays Thana who gets raped twice and then goes all revengy armed in a nun's outfit and a .45. The ending is like an LSD trip of awesomeness.


IT'S A BONUS TRAILER!!!

House on the Edge of the Park which is a glorious #6.



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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Anita (Review)

Anita

Anita (1973)

Directed by Torgny Wickman

As I perusing various horror websites, I stumbled upon the Playground Movie Reviews. There, they had a review of Anita which I read like a goofy schoolboy.

A movie about a 17 year old nymphomaniac!

This I gotta see.

I gotta admit, it was a nice change of pace from watching the constant zombies and cannibal redneck slaughter I've been watching over the last few weeks.

I even decided to have Hollywood rape my childhood by going and seeing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. So bless all that is Swedish erotica!

Plot-O-Matic

Anita, at 17 yrs old is a nympho. She picks up dudes all over her small town. She's got an uppity, goodt two shoes sister, her parents hate her and she has no friends. But she befriends a psych student played by a young Stellan Skarsgard, who is willing to help her break her sex addiction, by giving her the one thing that can cure her...an orgasm.

Fuck yeah!

Influences

Umm. Yeah this is vintage grindhouse, predecessor to all that is Skinemax. Take your pick from other 70s erotica. Even the American stuff.

Nude-ipedia

Christina Lindberg is like naked for 85% of the movie.

She gets down and dirty with a variety of johns. There reaction is always priceless.

"You're want to do what??......for free????....OK!!!"

We typically do not have nudity here at jadedviewer.com but I mean this review definitely needed visuals. So as you can see to the right, this is the super hotness of Christina Lindberg.

Rewind the Insanity

Christina Lindberg is hot. Did I mention that? And as this is just 70s skinemax, it's got that grindhouse, scratchy film, abrupt cuts and fading audio feel to it that makes you feel like your at a sticky Times Square theatre. What more can I say? I mean she's doing every guy in town in like 20 scenes. It's sleazy classic that you can't turn your eyes away from.

So what do we get in the moments where she isn't blowing or fucking some dude.

See below!

Anita buys a hot dog.
Anita hangs out at a disco.
Anita buys a pretzel.
Anita gets yelled at by her parents.
Anita gets embarrassed in school.
Anita hangs out with musicians.
Anita gets beaten up.
Anita hangs out with junkies.
Anita makes out with a lesbian counselor.
Anita strips at a XXX club.
WTF Moment

Anita gives a strip tease and all out nudey-topia to her father's male friends at a family dinner.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Watch it. Why not? Yeah you can view hardcore porn, but sleazy 70's erotica is done so awesome here, you may even watch for the plot (I didn't). Lindberg's protrayal of a revenge chick from Thriller: A Cruel Picture was the inspirtation for Daryl Hannah's character in Kill Bill.

But here it's all out full frontal swedish B grade erotica.

Lindberg is so cute in that girl next door sorta way, when she pouts as she eats breakfast, you want her to do something dirty and naughty....and then she does in the next scene!

In the end, she does get cured by her new "boyfriend" but at that point, you're looking for tissues. [Wink Wink].

Now that's worth the price of the download.

Rating:

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