The Roommate (Review)

The Roommate

The Roommate (2011)

Directed by Christian E. Christiansen

[this review brought to you by Insano Steve, who got a 4.0 after his freshman year roommate went mental]

I knew from the moment I first saw the trailer for “The Roommate”, that it was a must-see movie (not necessarily a must-pay-to-see). As a bad movie connoisseur, I was pleased when this film received less than 10% positive reviews. Comically bad acting and incoherent plots are what I’m all about.

The Roommate definitely delivered the bad movie I was hoping for.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

College student Sara finds that her new roommate Rebecca has an obsession with her, which quickly turns violent.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Plot: SPOILER: If you’ve seen the 1992 film, “Single White Female”, then you already know all the spoilers for this movie. The Roommate is essentially a remake. The setting this time moving from uppity NYC to the University of Los Angeles (good ole ULA!) Almost everything else is verbatim. SWF has the better acting. The Roommate has the better overacting.

And a more attractive cast.

Acting: The regular girl is played by Minka Kelly who is smoking hot, but not that much of an actress. She can play beautiful and horrified very well. Not sure if she can handle much more than that. Kelly is the real-life girlfriend of New York Yankee/son of a bitch, Derek Jeter.

The psycho girl is played by Leighton Meester. Though not as pretty as Kelly, she is obviously the better actress. She provides some decent chills in the movie, especially when she starts beating herself up (with a boxcutter!).

The other notable character is Minka Kelly’s boyfriend in the film, Stephen, who plays the douchebag fratboy with the heart of gold. His character spends the entire movie squinting for some reason.

Gore: Well, this was a PG-13 movie, so nothing could be genuinely be considered gore. But there were some notable scenes such as:

1. Belly button trauma
2. Mid-coitus homicide
3. Hyperthermic feline-icide
   

T&A: Very sad to report that there was none. Unfortunately, this is the price to pay for having semi-famous actresses. There are mild simulated sex scenes, and some gratuitous lesbian experimentation. But certainly nothing titillating. But, I have to give kudos for the random cinematography!

The WTF Moment:

“You Were Never My Friend”

My favorite scene in the film, was one of those obsession-movie clichés. While Kelly and Meester are at a coffee shop, they encounter a girl that Meester had terrorized previously.

A very bizarre conversation ensues. It’s always an awkward moment to meet up with an old friend who had tried to psychologically destroy you in high school.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

If you like bad movies, the Roommate will not let you down. Go in with the lowest expectations and you will be pleasantly surprised. You can forget what those 50 year old dinosaur movie critics say (hey Rex Reed, do the world a favor and kill yourself).

In a sold out movie theater filled with audience participation, the Roommate is a fun-filled 90 minutes!

The Vitals

• The official site
• Facebook Page
• The Roommate: What the generic still photos actually tell us
  

Rating:


(because it was so bad its good logic)

Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, leighton meester, minka kelly, the roommate

The Roommate: What the generic still photos actually tell us

There is a little subtext in the marketing campaign for The Roommate. Oh you didn't know? Well I'm a decoding master blaster and I'm going to break this subliminal marketing wide fuckin open. By now you've probably seen the trailer. You know it stars Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly. Seems Ms. Meester is on some fancy schmancy show on the CW....Gossip something. Minka Kelly however I DO know. As Mrs. Derek Jeter, she's like baseball wife #1.

Sure its a blatant ripoff of the vintage 90s Single White Female, but could this film be hiding something more?

Let's start off with the tagline:

"2,000 colleges. 8 million roommates. Which one will you get?"

the jaded viewer says: This statement is purely racist. What? Can't see it? What they're actually saying is if you don't get someone that doesn't look like you, they are completely fuckin crazy. Man your screwed if you get a brotha from South Central or a Latina from the Bronx. Thanks Hollywood for the advice.

Now on to GENERIC STILL PHOTO #1

the jaded viewer says: See our crazy white girl is Rebecca and she goes off our medication. What this is really saying is all white people have to be fearful of getting addicted to meth. Because the movie is saying if you start becoming a meth addict you can go from fun loving, beautiful normal white girl to a obsessive compulsive angry insane meth tweaker.

GENERIC STILL PHOTO #2

the jaded viewer says: Now where does the path of a meth addict lead to? Lesbianism of course. Seriously Hollywood? Your not so subtle subtext isn't so subtle. See college is a breeding ground for girl on girl action. Women meth addicts: all lesbians according to a recent poll.

GENERIC STILL PHOTO #3

the jaded viewer says: So where do meth heads get their fix? The streets of course. Remember when white people go to the projects, it's just to score some drugs. Of course this is a momentous occasion which one has to take a photo of. As a meth whore, it's Rebecca's duty to get her new roommate addicted as well. Who wants to get fucked up alone right? I mean look at that graffiti. It screams "we're in the fucked up dangerous part of town, there might be gangstas here".

GENERIC STILL PHOTO #4

the jaded viewer says: Look at that product placement. VAIO. Damn you Sony. The Roommate is going to be filled with more product placements than a Michael Bay film. Just you watch it. From Mountain Dew to KFC to American made cars, you'll be bombarded by 18-34 year old teen targeted ads. Sure this is all normal to you all because you can't even filter through the static. But after you see The Roommate, you're going to head to a Chilis because Rebecca and Sara went to a Chilis. Their in your head!

MOVIE TRAILER STILL PHOTO #5

the jaded viewer says: OK this isn't a production still but a shot from the trailer. Of course you can't use the privacy breaking, biggest social media network by name. So you make your own! Frienderz! Oh how I love fake websites in movies.

But of course this is slickly intertwined to get you to Facebook a little more. Open up your "likes" to the world. To slowly get you into the habit of divulging more info out into the Internet. Because if Facebook asked you, I think you'd post your social security number and mother's maiden name in your status right?

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Well now you're prepared to see the hidden meaning in The Roommate. What else can you "see" from the trailer? You tell me. Check it out below and let me know if you figure out what's the what behind the hot girls, glitzy lights, popular soundtrack and generic quick editing.




Also, The Roommate has got an interesting college marketing plan as they've been posting flyers with this phone number on it:

1-866-666-6001.

Seriously, call it up. It's kinda hilarious.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, leighton meester, minka kelly, the roommate