Monday, April 14, 2008

Top 10 Scenes in Bloodsport

What are the top 10 scenes in Bloodsport? Well there are so many to choose from but we here at the jadedviewer have narrowed it down. I had to make some tough choices and cut it down to ten. Some notable exclusions are the opening montage scene, a couple of the mega fights (yes I know, I've got no Paco or E.Honda fights listed) and some memortable Dux moments ("you might wanna have kids one day" SPLIT).

Not everything can be put in but these 10 are the most awesome.
10 scenes. 10 classic moments.

So on to the list Shingo!

#10 "OK USA!"

Why it kicks ass: Big goofy Chinese guy's line as he brings Dux and Jackson to the so called underground tournament is classic broken english.

#9 "That's why they call this thing Bloodsport kid."

Why it kicks ass: The opening fight establishes the Kumite as some serious hardcore human cock fighting. Kudos to the janitor getting a gold tooth as he cleans up the blood on the mat hence the line.

#8 "Yeah Franky!!! Yeah!!!"

Why it kicks ass:
If this was a seeded tournament, Ray Jackson would be a solid #12 seed. But he easily disposes of his 1st opponent with a severe smash to the head then taunts Chong Li (bad move Ray). I mean how the hell did Ray Jackson get invited to the Kumite?

#7 "He's the American shithead that makes tricks with bricks"

Why it kicks ass: Hossein thinks he's so fuckin cocky trying to slap Janice and shit. But can Dux grab a coin from him before he closes his hand. Fuck no!
Fun note: Dux learns this trick from the fish in the pond training during the Tanaka montage.

#6 "I'll be in the airport in 2 days"

Why it kicks ass: Dux gets chased by Forest Whitaker and the other guy through boats all over Hong Kong in that cheesy 80's montage sort of way. The hilarious kicker at the end is classic.

#5 "Aren't you a little old for video games?"

Why it kick ass:
It's Karate Champ! This goofy exchange between Dux and Jackson makes for a some classic trash talk. Awesome use of a 80s video game for foreshadowing!

#4 "You are not Japanese! You are NOT Tanaka!"

Why it kicks ass: It's an opening training montage! That's why. Whats more 80s than that?

#3 "Say It!!! Say It!!!!"

Why it kicks ass: Fuji dust, the referee jump kick, the 6 spinkicks, the Dux groan plus flashbacks!, Uncle. Nuff said.

#2 "Chong Li! Chong Li! Chong Li!"

Why it kicks ass: Chong Li becomes the unstoppable, ultimate evil when he kills his opponent and disrespects the Kokoruki elders. You so bad ass Chong Li!

#1 "Show us the Dim Mak"

Why it kicks ass: I mean c'mon now. This is the pinnacle of the movie. The judge asks for the "bottom one" and Dux obliges. When have you EVER seen somebody smash a brick with their focused energy?? Of course the Dim Mak later failed against E. Honda's chubby fat ass, but hey at least the Dim Mak got Dux into the tournament right?

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  1. I was really hoping for these classic lines to make the list.

    "You mean you're not gonna call the cops..."


    "Someday, I'll fight in the Kumite and make my father proud."

    But great list,

  2. I'm so happy to have been directed to this wonderful list! I don't even know where to start?!

    I think Ray Jackson moved his way up the ranks thanks to his aroma. There is no way in hell he doesn't smell like sweaty balls and warm he may have won thanks to his opponents just throwing in the towel in fear of coming in contact with such wretchedness!

    One of my favorite lines in Bloodsport is "You lose American asshole" so therefor, number 7 is a fav of mine for so many reasons.

    I wonder how things would end with the chase scene in number 6 if Whitaker were Ghost Dog instead of just some schlep cop. Such a great song too, by the way...

    Great top ten scenes list...I could watch all of theses scenes over and over again. Kinda like how I watch the movie over and over again whenever it plays on VS. HD, which is like everyday!

  3. Young Dux with Shingo is so awesome in so many ways. He's got the SF Giants hat and NY Giants shirt and than Shingo goes all "Someday, I'll fight in the Kumite and make my father proud."

    Basically Dux's parents sold little Frank into a life of bondage and slavery for Tanaka.

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