Triple Threat (Review)

Triple Threat 

Directed by Jesse V Johnson

At one point on this site I was going to replace the Van Damme spin kicks rating system with Tony Jaa elbows to the head. I was digging Ong Bak and all the Jaa muy thai action paloozas he was making. I figured the system should evolve.

Then The Raid: Redemption came out and Iko Uwais was bashing heads and taking on one million thugs to 1 and that would mean an update to the rating logo. I'm keeping it JVCD spin kicks for now because he's fighting MS-13.

Triple Threat has been described as The Expendables of martial action stars. The roster is insane. Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais, Tiger Chen, Scott Adkins, Michael Jai White and JeeJa Yanin.


Could the hype live up to the movie?

You betcha.


Boring Plot-O-Matic

A hit contract is taken out on a billionaires daughter intent on bringing down a major crime syndicate. A down and out team of mercenaries must take on a group of professional assassins and stop them before they kill their target.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Triple Threat is the action equivalent of the Golden State Warriors vs Houston Rockets. A flick with serious star power that's going to racked up a mountain of action points on a massive scale. Just like seeing a Steph Curry vs James Harden match up, the movie delivers you 1 on 1 and 1 on 2 match ups of the world's biggest martial arts action stars fighting against each other.

Do you wanna see Chen vs Iko? How about Adkins vs Jaa? MJW vs Iko? Iko vs Yanin? You're going to see these and more. The dream match ups are made and they deliver. It's a ballet of choreographed punches and kicks, suped up chase scenes and the carnage of the best vs the best. You almost have to feel sorry for the redshirts and low level henchmen and security who tried to stop all of them.

There are some catch our breath parts that break up the action craziness. Chen, Jaa and Celina Jade, the daughter with the contract on her head have some light hearted moments. On the other side, MJW, Adkins and Iko play mercenary antagonists with a twist. These scenes are mostly filler as you wait for the final showdowns.

The most underrated star in the mix is Adkins. He's been in a shitload of action movies and we all know who he is but somehow he still gets over looked even in a sick ensemble like this one. He holds in own as be battles Jaa, Chen and Uwais. Adkins plays an evil mercenary to a tee and elevates the other all stars during their 1 on 1s. It's why Triple Threat reaches critical awesomeness.

As much as the flick delivers its triple threat, a part of me really wanted to see one of the 3 good guys be on the opposite end. What would a Jaa vs Uwais extended action scene look like? You get a glimpse of that in an earlier scene but the WWE definition of a triple threat match is 3 guys fighting each other. Oh what could have been.

My only other gripe is all the random gun violence that seemed uneccessary. You have the top action stars on the fuckin planet and they are shooting at each other with AR-15s. Why would you not take advantage of this?

WTF moment

JeeJa's demise

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Triple Threat delivers all the elbows to the head, upside down spin kicks and martial arts goodness you want. Instead of Jaa or Uwais battling easily dispatched henchmen, seeing the biggest action stars of today battle each other is a sight to behold.

You'll get your Triple Threat team up and honestly they were never in trouble. They won in a clean sweep.

Rating

3 Spinkicks

Trailer

Categories: action cinema, chocolate thai action, Iko Uwais, Jean Claude Van Damme, JeeJa Yanin, ong bak, the raid redemption, tony jaa

V/H/S 2 (Review)

V/H/S 2

V/H/S 2 (aka S-V/H/S)

Directed by Simon Barrett (segment "Tape 49") Jason Eisener (segment "Slumber Party Alien Abduction") Gareth Evans (segment "Safe Haven") Gregg Hale (segment "A Ride in the Park") Eduardo Sánchez (segment "A Ride in the Park") Timo Tjahjanto (segment "Safe Haven") Adam Wingard (segment "Phase I Clinical Trials")

If you're a frequent reader of this blog, you'll know I gave the original V/H/S 3 spinkicks. Most of the shorts were good in my opinion and though a little muddled, they showed what the next generation of horror directors could do with a slick collaboration.

I went into seeing VHS 2 knowing it had critical acclaim and one can only wonder if that seeps into the unconscious when reviewing a film. I'll be the first to admit I tend to get influenced by the Rotten Tomatoes or Metacritic rating. But hell, I went against that when I praised VHS.

So now after seeing the sequel, I'm in a place I was before. It's a solid anthology that delivers a taste of the mild, the hardcore and the fantastic. What you get with this collaboration is a film that edges the original just based on originality, blood and guts and more amped up WTF. Found footage in VHS 2 is just the wraparound. The 1st person forced perspective is the next evolutionary step and here we see it utilized well and not so well.

Clearly we get a mixed bag but the pure ingenuity in some of these shorts must be graded on a curve. Kudos to Bloody Disgusting Brad Miska for producing and delivering a reemergence of the anthology.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Searching for a missing student, two private investigators break into his house and find collection of VHS tapes. Viewing the horrific contents of each cassette, they realize there may be dark motives behind the student's disappearance. 

Awesome Review-O-Matic


Well here be some mini reviews of each segment and a letter grade for each. Shorts are listed in the order as they appear in the film (though I think I'm forgetting the order now)

Tape 49/frame narrative (Simon Barett)


The private eyes segment starts with boobs in your face but is usually the weakest of the inter spliced shorts. Clearly better than the first wrap around in the original, it's your standard VHS tape spookiness with some clear The Ring influences to get your jump scares.

Grade: C

Phase I Clinical Trials (Adam Wingard)

Again my excitement stemmed from getting my Wingard fix in VHS 2. A man with an eye transplant starts seeing ghosts though believes it to be glitches in the software of his untested implant. The forced perspective of "eyeview" provides glimpses of faraway ghosts, one being a creepy man and a little girl. Later joined by a an ear-psychic hot girl, they soon realize technology is NSA-ing into another dimension. Nothing new on this front. Just some old fashioned Paranormal Activity spooks and scares.

Grade: C

A Ride in the Park (Gregg Hale/Eduardo Sanchez)

Sanchez and Hale are your found footage pioneers (via The Blair Witch Project) and it's awesome to see them back in the sub genre they started. With this short, one can only wonder how in the world have we not seen this originality...well ever. A biker with a camera attached to his helmet unfortunately wanders into the zombie woods and tries to escape. But our hero becomes our anti-hero hero zombie hero.Got that? Infected, we see the wonders and hilarity that ensue when we get the zombie's point of view.


On the oh shit that's awesome scale, this is zombie vs shark type awesomeness. Brilliantly written and directed by the founding fathers, we see the chaos unfold at a kid's party and the utter sadness of being a zombie. Ridiculously LOL moments throughout that make you wonder why nobody has ever done this before.

Grade: A


Safe Haven (Gareth Evans/Timo Tjahjanto)

If you've never seen the The Raid: Redemption, go watch it now. I'll wait. You one? Wasn't that awesome? OMG too awesome. With Safe Haven, I had to figure out how in the world Gareth Evans would do something horror-y. Clearly, were back in Indonesia/Thailand? for some very fucked up reason. And as short unfolds telling us of a Branch Davidian like cult, you start to realize this is going to end well. The news crew all equipped with hidden cameras on their clothing interview a manic cult leader and visit the compound where it seems they are in final preparations for something big. When the chaos begins, all hell breaks loose.
Evans dresses up the suicide cult with all the brainwashed angst we love and the frenetic pace and movement of a fight scene that's actually a "I gotta run away from these fucked up cult members".

It's pure brilliance than turns in WTF that turns into OMG. Who knew this would be one of the stellar shorts in VHS 2?
 
Grade: A

Slumber Party Alien Abduction (Jason Eisener)

I'm hoping all of you have seen Hobo with a Shotgun by now. Eisener's fake trailer turned full length movie is what indie horror is all about. With Slumber Party Alien Abduction, you have all the elements of taking the ordinary wacky pre teens and older sister dynamic and getting our Fire in the Sky on. It borders on the absurd but it's what Eisener clearly is great at. The greys start to attack our tweenage boys, the teenage older sister and her boyfriend until were left with a boy and his dog.It's a bit too weird for my tastes and seem out of place for a horror film.

Not great and one of the oddest choices to end VHS 2.

Grade: C

*********************************************************************

VHS 2 is like an appetizer sampling of the who's who in the next crop of the Internet generation's horror alumni. You may not like all the shorts but the one's you do, hopefully will enable you to see watch the director or writer's other films. Wingard is coming out with You're Next which I'm excited to see. VHS 2 is definitely better than it's predecessor focusing more laughs than scares. The monsters are out and about in VHS 2 and that's definitely a good thing. With few shorts, the movie gives more time for each segment to set up.

A Ride in the Park and Safe Haven are standouts and should be seen by any self serving horror fan.

With VHS 2, the found footage/POV film is alive and well and the pioneers and the colonists are still making sure it stays that way.

Nude-ipedia

Yes and it's awesomely gratuitous (well look at that. I copied what I wrote in my last VHS review)

Gore-ipedia

Lots of it. You're momma would be proud. (ditto!)

WTF moment

The ending for Safe Haven.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

VHS is now out on VOD and in theaters on 7/12. Head over to the official site via Magnet Releasing and Facebook page.


Rating:
 

Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2013 horror movies, adam wingard, anthology, horror anthology, horror short, the blair witch project, the raid redemption, v/h/s, v/h/s 2, vhs

The Best Elephants and OMG! Movies of 2012

Before I post my top 10 horror movies (yes it's coming soon), I wanted to go over the other movies (yes I saw other non horror flicks) that I thought were super duper awesome this year. From the box office Hollywood juggernauts to the indie spectaculars, these stood out like no other (plus there the only ones I saw).

I still can't believe I haven't seen Looper yet.

"Box Office Elephants"

1.) Django Unchained: Yummy Tarantino is pure filmmaking at its best

2.) The Dark Knight Rises: Very epic conclusion to the trilogy. 

3.) End of Watch: It's the anti Training Day because it's pro cops. You need to see this flick because it takes buddy cop vs gangsta flicks to a whole new level of aweome,

4.) Marvel's The Avengers: Whedon is my Master now.

5.) 21 Jump Street: Having not seen Ted yet, this was pretty damn funny.


"OMG! Movies"

1.) The Raid: Redemption: Best action movie of 2012. Nuff said.

2.) Expendables 2: Glad to see JCVD back in the theaters.

******************************************************

What non horror movies did you think were the best of 2012? Let me know!

Categories: django unchained, the avengers, the dark knight, the expendables 2, the raid redemption

The Raid Redemption (Review)

The Raid: Redemption

The Raid: Redemption (2012)

Directed by Gareth Evans

After seeing The Raid, I tweeted this:

@TheRaidUS is the equivalent of seeing a 100 car pile up, head on collisions and fiery mushroom cloud explosions. It's fuckin awesome

It's rare to see an action movie that says, fuck the characters and the plot! We're not going to waste time developing our characters or explaining the plot. Instead, we're going to give you non stop action for well over 100 minutes and it's going to be some of the most insane stuff you have seen in a while.

Remember when you first mesmerized by Tony Jaa in Ong Bak? Well The Raid is Ong Bak on fuckin steroids and fully armed with nuclear explosives. It's bar none the best action movie I've seen in the past decade.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

The plot is simple. SWAT Team are told they have to take out a ruthless crime lord in an old tenement building. The building is heavily guarded by 1-800 Henchmen and house lowlifes, thugs, addicts and pieces of shit. It also has a few good Samaritans who our remaining cops will meet later. All you need to know is humans with lady parts are at a minimum. You're going to see glorious violence in a Just Dance choreography that is pure awesomeness.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

I said it would revolutionize the action movie and I wasn't wrong. You may not know the name Iko Uwais but you will after seeing The Raid. Move over Tony Jaa, your 15 minutes are up. I first saw Uwais in Merantau, Gareth Evans first flick featuring Silat Harimau the Indonesian martial art. I'll admit, it had some stellar action scenes but it was full of boring drab plot and story and had staged action scenes that seem to appear out of nowhere.

But The Raid is floor after floor of non stop Silat in closed quarters, rooms with many breakable objects and ferocity of throwing your enemy against the wall numerous times. Uwais is a skilled tactician playing our hero cop and the synchronized ballet of Silat on Silat violence via endless henchmen are a sight you won't fuckin forget.

The man who steals the show however is Yayan Ruhian who plays Mad Dog. Dude is like the Nate Robinson of the film. He's barely 5'8 from the looks of it but his Silat skills are fuckin stellar. In the penultimate scene, he battles Uwais and his "partner" in well over 15 minutes display of kicks, blocks, punches, blocks and gallery of lightning quick Silat-o-pedia of moves.

And don't get me started by the point blank violence. Holy fuckin shit. Here are things I've never seen before:

• Execution of 4 men via point blank gunshots to the head (and one via hammer)
• Silat battle ending in multiple gunshots to the face
• Machete wielding fight scene
• Rude Awakening neck breakers

I mean check this scene out.

This is a badass flick that destroys all semblance of what action porn should be. It defies the genre by be unrelenting and ferocious. It doesn't apologize, it says FUCK YOU and gives you more of what you want. It has moments of pure suspense and anxiety then delivers one screaming kick after the other.

The Raid Redemption is the one action movie you need to see this year. Gone is Thai action. Indonesia is the king of action and Gareth Evans and Iko Uwais are sitting on the throne.

Nude-ipedia

Puhlease.

Gore-ipedia

Mucho gun trauma
Mucho broken bones trauma
Mucho head, arms, legs trauma

WTF moment

Uwais takes on EVERYBODY!!!!

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Raid is out now in limited theaters. It's a must see, no ifs or ands about it. It's the pinnacle of the modern day action flick. It's why it's getting a release here. The Raid may have been overshadowed by that movie with kids killing kids, but leave it up to the adults to give us grown up violence.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: action cinema, bloody violence, crime thriller, gore, guns, indonesia action movie, kung fu, martial arts, merantau, merantau trailer, splatter, the raid redemption