Monday, December 24, 2007

Happy Holidays from the Jaded Viewer

Happy Holidays from jadedviewer.com.I've got 2 gifts for all you jaded viewers out there. 2 magnificent kick ass trailers. One for Machine Girl and the other for Mirage Man. Both are foreign flicks that will probably be super mega duper in 2008.Mirgage ManWhy do you think we here at jadedviewer think Mirage Man will kick ass?He's seen 2 Girls 1 Cup....that's fuckin why. Classic viral shit.He also kicks Barney's ass. Thank you Mirage Man. Machine GirlMachine Girl is Japan's answer to Kill Bill and Evil Dead combined.Finally, I'm compiling my Top...

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Michael Haneke's Funny Games US Remake Trailer

Here is the trailer for Michael Haneke's Funny Games US Remake.It stars Naomi Watts and Tim Roth.I've seen the original German version and it is unbelievably awesome.According to Haneke, this is a shot by shot remake of his origin...

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Steve's Movie Review Of The Day: J-Horror Edition

I know it's been a while since I've updated. But I've been watching a lot of horror and now I soon will have many more reviews to post.So for now I present to you some classic Insano Steve reviews (J-Horror edition)!InugamiInugami (2001)Directed by Masato HaradaRural Japanese village is haunted by ancient spirits of evil which are essentially a scapegoat for all the shit that goes wrong in town. Lady goes through mysterious reverse aging process when she hooks up with new stranger in town. She wishes to leave God-forsaken village but finds it difficult...

Sunday, November 11, 2007

After Dark Horrorfest 2008

After Dark Horrorfest 2008 is taking place this week.These may be overhyped and glorified Sci-Fi Channel movies but they are all intriguing.Bloody Disgusting has reviewed all of them (not very positive)The list is below.1.) The Deaths of Ian Stone2.) Nightmare Man3.) Crazy Eights4.) Unearthed5.) Borderland6.) Mulberry Street7.) Tooth and Nail8.) Lake D...

Fear.net Buried Alive

Fear.net has created an online game that is part Saw part mystery. Seems like they are putting a twist in the torture porn motif. Check it out. Buried Alive centers around a handful of 20-somethings, each unwillingly encased in a custom-made coffin. Trapped in this underground world that is ruled by a maniacal antagonist, the group must discover the connections between themselves; the reasons for their abductions; and, with luck, an escape from the nightmare. Aiding the group above ground are two sleuths, siblings Melanie and Travis, each with...

Friday, November 02, 2007

Insano Steve's Review of the Day: Der Todesking

Insano Steve wanted to chime in on the Buttgereit week festivities so we conclude Jorg Buttgereit week with his review of Der Todesking.Der TodeskingDer Todesking (1990)Der Todesking (the Death King) is Jorg's more ambitious artsy suicide movie.Does Jorg pull it off? Is he skilled enough?Um, no. You gotta admire the effort though. Movie is broken up into 7 days/episodes (which you know he got the idea from another movie from a better director). In...

Thursday, November 01, 2007

It's Jorg Buttgereit Week! Schramm (Review)

SchrammSchramm (1993)Directed by Jorg ButtgereitIf Buttgereit were still making movies today, horror sites would be clamoring for Jorg to make a serial killer movie. Well, we're glad he did. Way back in 93. And oh my, it's one hell of a sick movie.The thing about Buttgereit is that to understand the madness of his films is to dig deep into the psychosis of insanity itself.Wow that sounds all Freudian. But alas after watching Schramm, you'll know...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

It's Jorg Buttgereit Week! Nekromantik 2 (Review)

Nekromantik 2Nekromantik 2 (1991)Directed by Jorg ButtgereitThe inevitable sequel is always determined if its better than the original. In the case of Nekromantik, it kinda is.Buttgereit (still in classic art house mode) wiggles in David Lynchian imagery, classical music and corpse fucking.And he does it so damn well.The movie begins with the ending of the 1st movie in all its climactic, volcano glory.The story (or lack therof) introduces Monika,...

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

It's Jorg Buttgereit Week! Der Todesking (Review)

Der TodeskingDer Todesking (1990)Directed by Jorg ButtgereitJorg Buttgereit week continues. In this installment, we bring you the review of Der Todesing (aka The Death King).IMDB Plot Vault:Seven episodes, each taking place on a different day of the week, on the theme of suicide and violent death.Yup. Suicide and death. That's it in a nutshell.This is one of the better Jorg movies as it done so cleanly and though filled with violent imagery and sick...

Monday, October 29, 2007

It's Jorg Buttgereit Week! Nekromantik (Review)

NekromantikNekromantik (1987)Directed by Jorg Buttgereit**Warning: Some of this film may be seen as grossly offensive and should not be shown to minors!!!**-from the trailer of "Nekromantik""DEATH IS JUST THE BEGINNING"I remember vividly when my friend and I decided to irrevocably change the way we watch horror movies. As we were super splatter-philes already, we decided to take the plunge into the world of sick and twisted underground horror. We...

Monday, October 15, 2007

Review of the Day: Captivity

You really have to think twice when you decide to watch a horror movie where the lead actress is soooo hot you'll see her in anything. Of course you'd like to see her naked, covered in blood or screaming in pain. Or doing something sexually deviant or psychotic or violent.But if you do watch a movie because of this reason, you have a severe case of "Dark Angel Syndrome".(Dark Angel Syndrome: Watching any particular form of entertainment (movie, tv...

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Consolation Prizes of American Horror

So as we wrap up 2007, Hollywood is churning out some horror that may or may not be worth 2 shits. Below is a list of some either gems or turds with extra corn.1.) 30 Days of NightThe Blah Blah Blah:Vampires in Alaska. Did I just write that? 2.) Saw IVThe Blah Blah Blah: Is Jigsaw the new Chucky? Seems like it after the 4th effin sequel.3.) The SignalThe Blah Blah Blah:Cell phones make people go insane. That happens everyday in NYC.4.) P2The Blah...

Review of the Day: Hatchet

HatchetHatchet (2006)Directed by Adam GreenOld School American Horror. Motherfucker.What makes a good, fun slasher movie? Below is a list of what we here at jadedviewer deem as full of chunky gooiness when it comes to the ingredients of a solid slasher-palooza.Does Hatchet achieve everything on this list?1.) A mysterious, insanely strong, ridiculed as a child, deformed, inbred redneck slasher.Check.2.) Gratuitous, over the top, super fleshy nudity...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

jadedviewer.com's rating system

I wanted to explain our rating system so going forward everybody good get a clear understanding of what we think is good and what is utter shit. As I am a big fan of Jean Claude Van Damme, (even his shitty straight to DVD movies) the rating system is based on Van Damme spin kicks. The Van Damme spin kick, first seen in the movie BloodSport is lethal and a most potent weapon (other than the infamous Dim-Mak) in the arsenal of Frank Dux. In the...

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Review of the Day: Halloween (Rob Zombie Remake)

HalloweenHalloween (2007)Directed by Rob ZombieI don't know why Zombie thought he could attempt to remake Halloween. It's just going to fuel the naysayers who love to add fuel to the fire American horror is dead. And though I loved the Devil's Rejects, this piece of floating turd should be flushed down the nearest toilet.The thing about this movie is that the aura of Michael Myers is his ambiguity. All Loomis tells us from Carpenter's version is...