EXCLUSIVE! The Client List TV Plot Summaries Revealed!

When I first noticed Jennifer Love Hewitt's BOOBS were starring in "The Client List" I knew I had to write up a post on this awesomeness that would be unleashed on cable television. The poster, production photos and sneak peak videos were such a tease on the male American audience. So many questions came to mind. Would J-Love's boobs be able to give a star performance? Would we be able to accept them on the screen every time? Would we see them bounce? Were they still perfect like they were when she twirled around in I Know What You Did Last Summer?

These critical questions were answered with a resounding YES!

It was the best made for TV movie starring a pair of boobs...well ever (check out my review made of live tweets HERE!). But now, the gods of cleavage have gifted us again. Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs will return and star in The Client List: the TV show!!! Yes my fellow boob hounds, we are going to get to enjoy J-Love in various states of undress, meet a unknowing husband and kids and see some Forever Alone sleazy johns week after week!

So what's this series all about? Let's go over the plot first.

Everyone’s got something to hide and Riley Parks is no exception. Jennifer Love Hewitt plays Riley, a single mother, living in a small Texas town and leading a shocking double life. Her secret would send shockwaves through the community and possibly land her in jail if it was ever exposed. Riley’s taken a job at a seemingly traditional day spa, but soon realizes that the parlor offers a little more than just massage therapy. It’s not the happy ending she was expecting but it does open her eyes to a world she’s never seen before. The series follows Riley balancing these two worlds - one that revolves around her kids and family - and the other that revolves around the massage parlor and it’s special clientele. These two worlds couldn’t be farther apart, yet she’s totally comfortable in both. Keeping them separate … now that’s the tricky part as she discovers she’s not the only one with secrets.

You totally didn't read that didn't you?

OK check out this music video/teaser. This will get your tent pole up.





Now check out this behind the scenes footage. One promo has J-Love's boobs popping out during an interview. This ain't your momma's Lifetime.



I think you all need a break. Here's a picture for you to look at.

Put those tissues down. You done? Now check this craziness out. Our main character, Riley Parks has a Twitter account!

The bio reads:

Hi, I'm Riley Parks. Just a small town girl who LOVES karaoke, a good margarita and my two kids Katie & Travis. (Beaumont, TX)

Isn't that cute?

But you've all been waiting for that big exclusive right? Well here you go. I've received the plot summaries of the first 10 episodes of The Client List! You haven't seen anything yet as these future episodes are steamier than a Turkish bathhouse.

1.) Episode 1: "Pilot"

Riley Parks starts her first day as a masseuse but has quickly realizes things aren't as they seem. As she works up the courage to "satisfy" her first customer, she accidentally pulls the wrong muscle. To make matters worse, she has to pick up her son from Little League during the incident leaving the client worse for wear.

2.) Episode 2: "Slippery when Wet"

An Olympic gold medalist swimmer comes into the spa looking for more than a massage from Selena, a fellow masseuse. Unfortunately she has trouble satisfying his every need (marijuana, sub sandwiches) and asks Riley for help. Riley, who has at the same time having bedroom troubles with her husband Colin, agrees. However, she asks for a favor from Selena that will have everybody seeing threes.

3.) Episode 3: "Happy Beginnings"

Riley encounters a customer who is willing to give her a bonus if she performs "characters" for his pleasure. These include being a psychic, a horror scream queen, the popular teen girl and Audrey Hepburn. Riley agrees and soon starts lavishing her family with gifts making husband Colin and her mother suspicious. Soon both husband and mother start tailing Riley across town and wonder why she's buying a Wonder Woman outfit. How will Riley explain her odd purchases and who actually is following who?

4.) Episode 4: "Riley does Beaumont"

Riley encounters a few customers including her nephew who is obsessed with cyberporn. Meanwhile, Riley's daughter is being cyberbullied by unknown students. As she tries to juggle these family issues, the spa gets a case of the paranormal that is scaring everyone. Who can talk to these ghosts and make them see the light?

5.) Episode 5: "The Massage Oils of War"

When a rival massage parlor opens across the street, the ladies of the day spa start checking out the competition. Riley and Jolene (a fellow coworker) convince one of their clients to "spy" on the new place and start to realize he isn't the only one not coming back to the spa. As tensions mount between owners, it's up to Riley and her crew to make sure the up and coming parlor know a full blown explosion is just and the corner if they don't stop stealing their customers.

Are you looking forward to seeing The Client List? Sound off. I'll be live tweeting and reviewing it when it airs. The Client List premieres on Lifetime on April 8th. Check out the official site more info.

Categories: gratuitous nudity, hookers, jennifer love hewitt, lifetime, nudity, skinemax, the client list

My Live Tweet Log from watching "The Client" starring Jennifer Love Hewitt's BOOBS

It's not everyday you get a made for TV movie that's perfect to live Tweet. But when I first heard of The Client List starring Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs, I knew I had to just go ahead and make you all aware of these magnificent melons and their latest appearance on TV.

Sure we've seen them in the Ghost Whisperer but who the fuck actually watched that show? I sure as hell didn't. But you know JLove's tits were going to make mucho appearances about a mom turned hooker for the love of her family (awwwwww..yay for mom!)

Was it sappy as hell? You betcha! *wink* *wink*. Was their gratuitous cleavage and seriously hot whores? Yuppers. Was their alot of crying and waterworks. Boo Yeah hoo. But you know why we all watched this of course. Because remember folks, everything is bigger in Texas and JLove's boobs fit right in.

So here is my Twitter log from yesterday's premiere. Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ jadedviewer. This is my 2nd running live tweet (I did one for the bad torture porn Train)

This is what you missed. Enjoy!

jadedviewer #TheClient starring #JenniferLoveHewitt's boobs is on in 15 and I don't have Lifetime in HD?!?! WTF! #JenniferLoveHewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Oh well in a few I'll be live tweeting various comments on this badly disguised Skinemax movie! #JenniferLoveHewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Of course this could only happen in texas....love looks super hot in curlers. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer The boobs make their first appearance. They're real and they're spectacular! #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Jeez jlove's cleavage are weapons of mass erections. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Jlove just realized she's gotta give happy endings at her new job. She had the biggest "oh" face ever. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer "At the end of the day it beats the hell out of waitressing!" These are the hottest massage therapists ever. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer If this was on cinemax, we would have seen heaven 5 minutes ago. jlove just got naked. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Omg its a montage of jlove boobs in lingere...this is unfreakinbelievable. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer The lifetime commercials are like an endurance test for me. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer We hit the hour mark and that's when shit hits the fan. A kid is gonna call jlove a whore in 3..2..1 #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Jlove's boobs are hooked on coke....omg the cops just busted in! (Pun so intended) #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Jlove's boobs are crying...it isn't a lifetime made for tv movie without some gratuitous crying. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Omg that black lawyer is from battlestar galactica! #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Wow even tiger woods is on this client list...he really got around. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Only 30 days in jail for whoring...way to joves boobs! #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer What have we learned? When yr broke become a whore. Then teach the johns wives how to do it right. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

Did you watch this masterpiece of boob on film? Thoughts? Comments? Bad puns? And be sure to join this Facebook page by clicking on the picture below!

Categories: gratuitous nudity, hookers, jennifer love hewitt, lifetime, nudity

Jennifer Love Hewitt's BOOBS star in "The Client List"

So I was at my local mall last weekend and while on a search for a new belt (I'm not kidding) I noticed my mall seems to have advertising all over the place. It looked like a Times Square movie billboard. I counted 15 posters for Step It Up 3D (which is to be expectted), 11 posters for Despicable Me and 6 or so posters for a Lifetime Movie of the Week. Yes folks, a Lifetime movie. And this was no ordinary movie...no no. This one stars Jennifer Love Hewitt. Or more precisely, Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs.

I wasn't shocked to see a movie ad for Lifetime movie. Tons of moms watch this channel including mine. So it's easy to figure they were advertising to these mothers. But the picture of JLH got my attention looking all seductivey and once I got home I had to find out what this was all about.

It's called The Client List (official site here) Here's the poster I saw.

A mother will do anything for her family! And it's "Inspired by a True Story"! Holy fuckin cow. I am so watching this today!

So what's the whole story? Here ya go.

Inspired by a true story, this Lifetime Original Movie is the story of Samantha Horton (Jennifer Love Hewitt), a former Texas homecoming queen and physical therapist. When both she and her husband, Rex (Teddy Sears), are laid off from their jobs, Samantha accepts an offer to work at a massage studio in a nearby town, not realizing that the other staff members are actually prostitutes who service a clientele of wealthy and powerful businessmen.

Eventually realizing what goes on behind closed doors, but desperate to provide for her family, Samantha goes along for the ride. But when the police raid the business and Samantha is arrested, she ends up as a key witness in the case — putting high-profile johns in handcuffs and bringing a small Texas town to its knees.

It also stars Cybill Shepperd and that hot black girl from that movie I forget! Oh man, it gets so much better. Even the preview pictures are awesome.

I'm doing this for my family! Not for the thrills or money!

I'm just a regular mom with regular size boobs. Don't call me a MILF!

My daughter baked these cookies. You have to eat one before you see my cookie.

I'm the luckiest sonnavabitch ever. Why am I crying like a sissy?

OK that's enough of the photos. Now it gets waaaaay better. Now check out the videos. Holy cow man, I think Love's boobs need to win an Oscar for their performance. Somebody call the mammary police because these should be locked up.

First up, the trailer!





This is the best performance by JLH boobs in a drama. If this doesn't make you see this, I don't know what will.





And finally, I want to visit this town as this is some excellent massaging going on.




Well I'm definitely watching this badly disguised Skinemax film for sure. Whose with me? Do I need to give you another visual? Jeez.

Categories: gratuitous nudity, hookers, jennifer love hewitt, lifetime, nudity, tv shows