Friday, November 09, 2012

Spinkick these Trailers: The latest Jean Claude Van Damme Movie trailers

For a blog with Frank Dux as it's logo and him spinkicking the shit out Chung Li as it's rating system, sometimes my focus wanes into horror movies then from the icon on my site. But I've kept tabs on the Muscles from Brussels, letting you know about Dragon Eyes and his other projects. I've seen Expendables 2 and Assassination Games.

But JCVD has been on a role since EX2. And I'm here to lay out the trailer frenzy he's been on. Below you'll find all the latest trailers for all his upcoming movies and my thoughts on them.

 Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (2012)

The Jaded Viewer says: It isn't a JCVD film unless you have Scott Adkins in it. Adkins joins JCVD's Luc Deverauxas JCVD continues his villainy roles. I have no idea why JCVD's face is all painted white. Maybe he's going to star in Japanese kabuki theater. Also Dolph has died at least 20 times already.

6 Bullets (2012)

The Jaded Viewer says: Well somebody had to knock off and copy the Taken formula and make a straight to DVD film. Why not Jean Claude? Van Damme has been killing Albanians and Romanians for like the last decade. This looks pretty awesome, I saw spinkicks, gun play and JCVD firing a bazooka. All he needs is one classic line and I'm sold.

 U.F.O. (2013)

The Jaded Viewer says: Well this bit of sci fi action seems to be designed to give Bianca Bree (aka Bianca Van Varenberg) JCVD's daughter a lead in her own film. She's got the looks (amazingly she's kinda hot)  and her cameos in the other Van Damme flicks were OK. It's good dear old dad is there to wield a shotgun to give us Van Damme die hards a reason to go see this British flick. It also stars Pierce Bronan's son!

Welcome to the Jungle (2013)

The Jaded Viewer says: No trailer as of yet but check out these hilarious clips of Van Damme in this comedy. Bianca is also in this as well so if we get to see her in a bikini, I'm going to get Dim Mak-ed. Jean Claude plays Storm Rothchild, an unhinged team building coach. It's like the movie Severance but with a funny crazy wacky Van Damme. It also stars Kristen Schaal and the asian guy in the latest Wendys commercial.

So who's psyched for these films? Only me? 2013 is going to be the year of the Van Damme!


  1. the sneering (homo-phobic) snob11/10/2012 10:07 PM

    Jean Claude Van Damme is a fucking worthless pile of dog-shit, the only good thing about him is his rampaging heterosexuality, in literally EVERY other regard hes a bloody ludicrous and pathetic joke.

  2. JonBenet Ramsey11/10/2012 10:11 PM

    Did you know that Oliver Reed was actually accused of molesting Cindy Hinds on the set of "The Brood" in 1978 but no charges were ever brought against him because of apparent lack of evidence.

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