Monday, May 23, 2011

Beach Spike Trailer shows us Hong Kong is just as shallow as America

When Hollywood conjures up ways to somehow show beautiful hotties in bikinis, they usually put them in surfing or cheerleading movies. It's pretty much standard now. When they really think the audience won't care, they also like insert these hotties in tight leather and parade them as super secret agents, fledgling singers or dance street competitors. Regardless of the case, you know the movie somehow will involve a boy, a hardship that has to be overcome and some sort of life lesson learned.

But lets be real.

As much as we'd like to think these camouflaged chick flicks are designed to get women to see their life problems addressed, they are aiming for that 18-34 year old male demo as well. Remember that rom-com starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston? Nope? Do you remember it also starred Brooklyn Decker in a bikini? See now you do.

It's not too hard.

Well rest assured the Hong Kong film industry also likes to parade their young and beautiful hotties and put it into movies where they have to do what's right. In this case, 2 attractive beach volleyball girls defend their beach from ruthless developers. But the twist here is they learn kung fu to aid them to victory. Yeah it echoes Shaolin Soccer alot but there be boobies bouncing around in this.

First check out the plot:


Hong Kong’s Paradise Cove is like Venice Beach on the South China Sea, a haven of tanned bikini-clad Asian babes, bronzed bodybuilder types, artists, surfers, musicians, beach bums? Chrissie (Chrissie Chau) and Kim (Theresa Fu) are two of Paradise’s sunniest spirits, working at the restaurant of their kung fu master uncle Tao (Lo Man) and taking on all comers in lively beach volleyball matches. One day, a shadow falls on this apparently endless summer: The wealthy Bu Family plans to turn the beach into a playground for the rich, banishing the young, poor and fun-loving. Mrs. Bu’s two arrogant Eurasian daughters, Porsche (Jessica C) and Phoenix (Phoenix Valen) challenge Chrissie and Kim to a volleyball match, and our heroines suffer a humiliating defeat.

The two Eurasian vixens lay down a challenge: if the two local girls enter and win the upcoming All Hong Kong Women’s Volleyball tournament, Mrs. Bu will revise her plans to further develop the area. Though they accept the challenge, Chrissie and Kim feel they have little chance of winning the tournament, until Tao teaches them superior kung fu skills that can be applied to the volleyball court.

After surviving their training under Tao, the girls get to test their newfound skills both on and off the sand. Comedy, curves and kung fu collide in a fast-paced actioner in the madcap martial arts tradition of? Shaolin Soccer. And Kung Fu Hustle.

Now let's whet your appetite with some stills.

(via Twitchfilm)

We're like your typical Eurasian hot girls. We love stacking chairs!

She's got a good grip on that ball. Go team go!

It's a staredown! The evil bitchy volleyball hottie is like "I'm taller and have a bigger cup size!" If this was America, she'd be a brunette with a tattoo.

Finally, here is the trailer with gratuitous slo-mo bouncing boobies...errr I mean volleyball action. I like how their is a Miyagi figure and a nerd and fat guy for comic relief. I think Chrissie Chau is my new favorite Hong Kong pseudo model of all time.

Clearly a film like this has only one goal in mind when it gets released. But it goes to show you Hollywood and HK know how the male mind works. Sure you don't want to see the beach be turned into a resort, but I'm still hypnotized by the in game action.

And to all the dudes, you know you flipped on ESPN and checked out beach volleyball for that. Well that and the other thing.


  1. the woman actress looks like so skinny...

  2. "Hong Kong’s Paradise Cove is like Venice Beach on the South China Sea, a haven of tanned bikini-clad Asian babes, bronzed bodybuilder types, artists, surfers, musicians, beach bums"

    What a joke! Is there anywhere even remotely like this in Hong Kong?

  3. Yes, there is, jab. But we keep them well hidden so they don't become like everywhere else.