Machete's Danny Trejo is one bad ass Mexican!!!

Obviously Machete comes out today and it's on everybody's must see list. But taking a look at Danny Trejo's long and illustrious career, there is one common theme: He's a "That Guy" in the villain Hall of Fame. And whenever he showed up you could count on a few things:

• He is going to kill somebody
  
• He is going to look badass doing it
• He is going to die in the most gruesome way possible
  

So playing the hero is going to be new for all of us. Even in his most recent film, Predators he was a Mexican cartel enforcer who of course dies horribly. Not a lot of people could tell you while watching a Trejo film who this now most recognizable actor is. Your first reaction upon seeing Trejo onscreen was probably like mine: "OMG! It's the dude from From Dusk Til Dawn!!"

But with Machete, we're going to get to see more Danny than the usually allotted 15 minutes of his screen time. And I have to tell you I'm psyched to see he's getting his due in a leading role. But let's stop the motherfuckin praise and see this bad ass Mexican in action.

I've compiled a few of the best compilations found on YouTube for your pre-Machete enjoyment.

Danny Trejo killing robots in Eyeborgs! "You binary bastards!"





Danny Trejo fuckin people up in "Desperado"





Danny Trejo kills a teddy bear.





Danny Trejo snorts coke and kills hot naked women.





Danny Trejo mows the lawn.





Danny Trejo can make a big blockbuster grindhouse movie and in the same year make a low budget grindhouse movie. He is fuckin awesome.





And finally, a solid mashup just in time for his new role as the "GOOD GUY".





Congrats Danny Trejo! It was about time you killed the rapists and the killers while playing a rapist killer. Don't mess with the Trejo motherfucker.

Categories: danny trejo, exploitation film, eyeborgs, grindhouse, machete, mexican border, mexico, quentin tarantino, Revenge movie, robert rodriguez

The Shepherd: Border Patrol (Review)

The Sherpherd: Border Patrol

The Sherpherd: Border Patrol (2008)

Directed by Isaac Florentine

Let's call these straight to DVD Van Damme flicks the end of the end.

Sigh.

Van Damme has stated he wants to make "character action". These character action STV movies started with Replicant and have continued endlessly. Post theatre Van Damme has had a few decent flicks. Replicant was actually ok. Umm. I think that was it.

Suffice it to say we really don't need to go on an in depth review of this. So I'll try to summarize in a few sentences or less.

So on to the nitty gritty cliffnotes version.

What's the plot?

Van Damme plays Jack who after his daughter ODs (yes I just told you a major spoiler) joins the border patrol and vows vengeance after the American Special Forces who are in cahoots with the Mexican cartels along the US/Mexican border.

Are the evildoers evil?

Not really.

Is the Border Patrol really inept?

Yes. And very corrupt.

Is there a lot of action?

Some gun fights ensue and Van Damme gets some good shots in.

Is there a WTF moment?

Totally. A bus armed to the teeth carrying drugs, nuns, priests and the turncoat American army baddies crosses the border with JCVD and his black sidekick in tow. Shootout ensues. Very surreal.

Is there a classic Van Damme moment?

Pretty much it's the jailhouse fight scene.
Van Damme stunt double (sigh) does some awesome martial arts against a rogue inmate. It's the best scene in the film. So why don't you watch it below.




Is there a guy who outshines JCVD?

Yes. Scott Adkins fight scene with JCVD at the end reminds us what JCVD use to be.




Is it true the comic relief comes in the form of a bunny?

Yes.

Is there gratuitous nudity?

Yes. We see Mexican boobies.

Should I watch this film in its entirety?

No. It will make your eyes bleed.

Can I get the gist of it by watching clips of it on YouTube?

Frak yeah!

Is JCVD's career over?

Unfortunately yes. Unless of course J.C.V.D. becomes a hit.

Rating:

Tags:
Jean Claude Van Damme, the shepherd border patrol ,

Categories: character action, Jean Claude Van Damme, mexican border, straight to dvd, the shepherd border patrol