Showing posts with label top horror movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top horror movies. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Best Horror Movies of 2008 (Compilation from other sites)

I like to peruse what other horror sites have ranked as the top horror movies of 2008 before creating my own. Usually they may have some movie on their list I missed watching. More likely, they may have the same picks as I do.

To make it easier for you guys so you don't have to keep googling or going from site to site for everybody's top 10 lists, I've compiled everything for you below. If I missed a site top 10 list, please let me know so I can add it in. Hell, if you have a list let me know and I'll add it in.

Go ahead and argue your points in the comments section. I'd love to hear what you all think about the year in horror.

My 5 spinkick movies of 2008 will appear tomorrow and my Top 10 Horror movies of 2008 will be posted on Friday.

So get your yelling on and check out the links below.











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Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year from the jaded viewer!

The jaded viewer turns 2 years old this Jan 09. Yay! Thanks to everybody whose supported the blog-o-rama.

My Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008 list also comes out in January. I know it's one of the more popular lists on the site so I've been prepping that up and figuring who makes the list. Also, I'm making a comprehensive list of what I've reviewed this year and probably will make a Worst Horror Movies of 2008 list as well.

I've been catching up on all the 2008 horror flicks I missed of late. 2 flicks that may end up on the list are Gutterballs and Dance of the Dead. Reviews are up so check em out below. That's all for now.

Happy New Year!

(And yes, I know every other horror site is going to put this 80s slasher new years trailer up like I did)



Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Train (Trailer)

It's Hostel on a train!!!! Yup that's what Train is about. Supposedly a remake of Terror Train, the movie is now its own and chocked full of gory tidbits and full fleshy nudity. Currently at NC-17 because of extreme splatter and boobies, this may be quite a flick.

Plot.................

In Europe, a group of American college athletes unknowingly board a train that will become one deadly ride

Hopefully, Thora Birch will partake in the nude-fest but she'll probably be running away from the maniac nutzoid killers. Back to Bratislava!!!

Check out the trailer below.







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Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Ruins (Review)

The Ruins

The Ruins (2008)

Directed by Carter Smith

I'm a big Jenna Malone fan. Let's get out of the way first. She was awesome in Donnie Darko, Saved and here in the Ruins.

But alas, the Ruins is well another horror movie that will be placed in the used DVD bin soon enough.

It wasn't great, it wasn't bad. It just was.

Was what you may be asking?

It's another movie where white American tourists make trouble for the indigenous local inhabitants and get themselves killed.

Fuckin white teenagers always get into shenanigans and go where they're not suppose to.

Local guy says: "Don't go to the secluded beach"
White kids go to the beach......and die.

Local guy says: "Don't go to abandoned house"
White kids go to the abandoned house.....and die.

Local guy says: "Don't go to the ancient Mayan ruins"
White kids go to the ruins......and die.

Fuck em. They got what they deserved right? They never fuckin listen.

But as I kept watching, I gotta admit that from the trailer you'd think the movie is about a cursed Mayan pyramid or killer trees or plants but actually its about putting a couple of white American tourists in an impossible scenario and seeing how they'd react.

It's like watching mice in a maze. And that's why it's worth the watch.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A group of friends whose leisurely Mexican holiday takes a turn for the worse when they, along with a fellow tourist embark on a remote archaeological dig in the jungle, where something evil lives among the ruins.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Let's just start by saying that Jena Malone in a bikini may have been worth the price of admission or rental or torrent download (whichever method you prefer). She plays Amy, the resident Jennifer Love Hewitt of the 4 Spring Breakers. She and her best friend Stacey (Laura Ramsey) with their boyfriends Jeff (Jonathan Tucker) and Eric (Shawn Ashmore) are in Mexico doing the MTV spring break thing.

They meet a German tourist Mathias (Joe Anderson) who tells them about some ancient ruins. Of course they go down the non touristy path and end up at the ruins where the local Mayan community aint thrilled with seeing them.

Like Manifest Destiny, they go and explore the ruins. Little do they know that when they have contact with the plants, it "infects" you. You'd think the Mayans would post a sign in Spanish and shit.

The locals force our turistas to stay on the temple, threatening to kill them if they do.

So we get our plant vs man encounters. National Geographic never had an episode about this. These fuckin plants are nuts. They can mimic ringtones, voices and even sex!

Did Apple or Microsoft grow these things?

Soon its gets all horrificly bad, you'd hope they had a weed wacker or some shit. Some 2 unscheduled surgeries occur. A leg amputation will make gore hounds rejoice and some tape-worm-ish plant wiggles are kinda icky.

Ending (seems there are 2 alternates on the DVD) is a bit cliched but how could you really end a movie about killer plants?

The Ruins is 90 minutes that are paced well. Lots of downtime with some mindless talking but the uptime is where it's at.

At times you can try to empathize with the characters and it's psychologically exhausting. Would you wait for help or concieve a plan and execute it. If some freakin plant virus was mutating in you, would you wait to die or go all suicidal?

The movie raises some intriguing questions and that's where the true horror comes in. Not the fucked up Windows plants or the hostile tribe, but the decisions we make for our own survival.

But alas, as I said before, these American "The Hills-like" teenagers got what they deserved for not listening. They should have been shopping at Hollister and Pacific Sunwear, but instead they got massacred by some vines.

Plants 1
Dumb American white teenagers 0

Yay plants.



Influences

Turistas
The Happening
Little Shop of Horrors
I Know What You Did Last Summer 2


Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Gunshot to the head
Leg amputation plus soldering
Bone smashing
Knife surgery
Dead bodies
Knife to the heart
Arrow trauma
Child trauma
Plant infection in body trauma


Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

Jena Malone's bikini
Laura Ramsey's boobies and ass


WTF moment

Did I not just say the plants can mimic ringtones, voices and even sex!

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Is the Ruins worth the time and effort? Yeah I'd think so. I wasn't bored and it goes by pretty quickly. Jena Malone and the cast give good performances. And it's got some decent moments that got the horror juices flowing. But even after watching mice do experiments, you get bored. And that's when you check to see what else is in the used horror DVD bin.

Rating:
1/2

The Trailer:


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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Signal (Review)

The Signal

The Signal (2008)

Directed by David Bruckner, Dan Bush and Jacob Gentry

"Do you have the crazy?"

Fuck yeah I do. I'm crazy for The Signal, which is one the best movies of 2008.

Let me start off by saying the jaded viewer is jaded because I've seen a lot of horror and underground movies. So when I tell you I like a movie, it's fuckin rarity rare.

Your movie doesn't have to be an original idea (The Signal is more of a few ideas thrown into one) but when you can pull off a solid piece of storytelling, glue in some splatter and chaos and throw in a few scenes of LOL, it makes for an awesome, most totally good time.

And that's exactly what The Signal does.

I really hate how Hollywood churns out PG-13 turd burger after horror turd. So when 3 directors can team up and shell out a gem like this, it totally gives me a happy.

Told from 3 different perspectives and directed by each director in their own unique style, each has it's own personality and blends in nicely to form a coherent film.

The movie starts off with a WTF moment but then slowly transitions into a visceral apocalypse.

First we start off with David Bruckner's "Transmission I" and we are introduced to Mya (Anessa Ramsey) and Ben (Justin Welborn).

<--Tangent Alert!!!!-->

Throughout the whole movie I thought Mya was being played by Christine Elise and not Anessa Ramsey. They look very similar to me. I have no idea why.

I was shocked when it was a different actress. The signal must have infected me. Where's my hammer?

<--Tangent Alert!!!!-->

Mya is cheating on her husband with Ben and then that's when all hell breaks loose. The signal, a flurry of colored images and a shrieking sound start broadcasting on every TV, radio and cell phone (though no Internet huh?).

Then everybody goes fuckin nuts.

Mya returning to her apartment has her husband go all Barry Bonds on his friends. Escaping she see's her neighbors go insane and start Voorheesing with knives and garden shears.

It's a great opening 40 or so minutes, chilling, totally manic and the carnage is beyond comprehension. Your sad to see this segment go but the one to follow is like the X-Files series. One episode is monster of the week, the next is light hearted Lone Gunmen fluff.

Dan Bush's "Transmission II" goes all Evil Dead by being funny and goofy. It's odd to go into post apocalyptic humor mode, but it works here. Here we meet a Pleasantville 3 as the interactions between Lewis (AJ Bowen), Anna (Cheri Christian) and Clark (Scott Poythress) are hilarious. There are some horroromedy Three's Company like moments as each of them tries to figure out "who has the crazy" The climax comes in the form of a Mr. Furly like character Jim Parsons (Chad McKnight) who had me LOLing milk out my nose.

Finally "Transmission III", Jacob Gentry's conclusion goes into Cronenberg and Danny Boyle mood as the escape from Terminix is a redux of all zombie finales. Ben searches for Mya with the help of Clark. This trimester has the tone of the first 2 and intersplices both and concludes into an eerie downer of an ending (which I always like).

I really hate happy endings. Horror movies that end with a negative are always good in my book.

As I said before, The Signal isn't original (I first thought of Romero's The Crazies and Cronenberg's Videodrome). But originality can be forgiven if the characters and the carnage never get boring.

The satire of our reliance on technology and our never ending need to be "plugged in" is ever evident. As one character states: "...rational behavior has given way to primordial action..." Do we all turn into savages when we run out of hot water or we can't watch TV? (One time I had no cable and I thought I was going to go insane)

I do have to gripe about this film in that, like Cloverfield nothing is ever explained. We get a theory from one of the characters what the signal is but that could be just mindless ramblings from his insanity. Also, part 1 could have easily carried the movie into part 3 and bypass the sitcom-ish part 2. Finally, explaining why something is happening doesn't diminish the idea if done well. It's called motive and as a viewer, we need motive. Just suspending disbelief sometimes doesn't work.

The Signal is not entirely horror, but is sort of an artsy cinema engulfed in a horror apocalypse. Some of us lived in a time without the Internet (yeah I know I just dated myself). So I know when a film challenges this new Internet generation with a film of brainwashing insanity and brute rawness, it's totally new and a breath of fresh air.

I mean seriously, when you IMDB or Wikipedia a film right after you've seen it, you know you reaaaaaaally liked it right?

The Signal will go into the horror cult of fame and is one of the best horror movies of 2008.

And that's why The Sign-dfshgsdhgklsjfdbgsdfngluithgikhefwoaehrgjenbkjsbfklrjegb

Whoa my screen just went all fuzzy and psychedelic and now I hear a shrieking noise.

You hear that?

Oh fuck me.

Rating:


Trailer:







More images:



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Monday, January 15, 2007

Top 10 Horror/Underground Movies of 2006

10.) The Hills Have Eyes

After seeing Haute Tension at the Museum of the Moving Image a while back and meeting the director Alexander Aja, he told me it this was his next film. I asked him if he was going to do anything different and he told me that Wes Craven told him to make the movie in his own style. That's what Aja does in THHE. The set up is familiar but the payoff is outstanding. Grotestue mutant americana is interspersed with reltentless disturbing imagery. Good survival is always bloody, and Aja makes us see it without the Hollywood PG-13 tag on it.







9.) District B13

This may have come out in 2005, but District B13 is a fun little action flick that makes me think I can go and parkour around NYC. Gibberish plot about nuclear weapons and a cop/thug team up to stop the nuke from going off. Whatever. The stunts are classic here. Chase scenes as the 2 parkourers (?) go climbing, jumping and vaulting over every man made object. Totally excellent. Totally nuts.








8.) Severance

If the Office (British version) collided with Sean of the Dead, you'd get Severance. One of the most hilarious horroromedy flicks that got me laughing out loud. Bunch of office defense contractors go on a wilderness retreat and encounter some well....you're going to have to find out. The sly witty British humor mixed in with oodles of gory and bloody carnage is well done. Bloody well done.






7.) Snakes on a Plane

Without the internet hysteria, nobody would have seen this except me. But what Snakes is really is going back to basics. Forget the plot, just give me when animals attack in a confined area and I am happy as a kid on Christmas. Samuel L. Jackson plays Mr. Cool and the snakes are well...snakes....on drugs. Good Times.












6.) Feast

If Severance was the British horroromedy entry into this list, Feast is the American version. Where else can you find Henry Rollins playing a motivational speaker and bloody thirsty hell creatures boinking. I'll forgive this is a Project Greenlight movie because Krista Allen and the rest of the unknowns gave me a happy movie about killer monsters rampaing through a small town and attacking a bar where we know most of the characters (paper cutouts explained via a killer funny intro) are going to die. Totally gross, very goofy humor and an insane ending that still gives me hope American horror is not dead after all.






5.) Hard Candy

Question: Can you really make a movie about pedophilia and pass it off as a revenge horror movie?
Answer: Yes

David Slade's Hard Candy doesn't just aimlessly go all Kill Bill but delicately takes our heroine Hayley and disects her meticulous calculated revenge upon Jeff in a most intelligent way. There aren't outright scenes of carnage (except for a wee bit piece of unscheduled surgery). Most of the movie are scenes of painstaking conversation between Hayley and Jeff. And these disturbing talks about nothing and everything make the ending totally mindblowing.




4.) Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

Chan-Woo Park's final installment of his Vengeance trilogy isn't as good as Oldboy or Mr. Vengeance but is disturbing and totally magnificent that you downright applaud its precise non chalant feel as you watch it. The characters, the settings and lady vengeance herself Geum-ja Lee are so well done that they make each scene mesmerizing. Of course as in the previous 2 movies, the ending is downright lovely (in that horror sort of way).




3.) Hostel

I hated Eli Roth's Cabin Fever. But I gotta admit, Hostel is a movie designed for the horror fan boy and follows the checklist of making a good horror/splatter movie. Let's go through the list.
Young horny teenagers......check.
Drugs and alcohol......check.
Gratuitous nudity......check.
Relentless gore and splatter.....check.
Plot revealed after 2/3 of the movie that makes the viewer go "oh i get it, that's fucked up"........check.
Ending that just doesn't live up to the entire movie but leaves room for a sequel that opens up this year......check.

You can't deny Hostel's disturbing imagery, ocular trauma and Achille heeling grossness. It almost makes you want to not travel abroad...almost.


2.) Slither

I knew when I saw Slither in the theatre that I was going to love this flick. And it holds firmly to #2 on my list. Spawning off Night of the Creeps and Shivers, it brings back the 80s feel of disgusting creatures infecting human carriers for the 21st century audience. The creatures are slimy and relentless (who cares what they are or why they are here). All that matters is once your infected, you go insane. Nathan Fillion is perfect as the sheriff designated to protect his small town against the parasitic invaders. The ending is so B-movie perfect Peter Jackson would have been proud. So gross, so disgusting, so apalling and over the top, I am proud to have my ticket stub of Slither framed on my wall.





and the best horror movie of 2006 is...................................



1.) The Descent

Without question, The Descent is the best horror movie of 2006. Group of women go sperlunking and all hell breaks loose inside the caves they explore. Natalie Mendoza as Juno steals the show has the pseudo leader who causes tension amongst the group of cave divers try to escape the monstrous cave crawlers. The claustrophobia and relentless darkness are done so eeriley and seemlessly you don't mind scenes that are in complete darkness.
UK ending is waaay better than the US ending and the flick has so many shocks and thrills that as the group goes from point A to point B, the ride is scary as hell. So many good things to say about this flick that by the time I'm done, the inevitable sequel will already be released.




Worst Horror Movies I've seen this year........

Saw 3, Turistas, Final Destination 3, The Hamiltons

Worst Horror Movies everybody agrees were just downright bad.......

Pulse (remake), Stay Alive, The Omen (remake), Black Christmas, The Wicker Man, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, The Grudge 2, When A Stranger Calls, Bloodrayne and plenty more that I shouldn't even take up more space.

The Most Anticiapted Horror/Underground movie of 2007.......

Grindhouse

Underground/Cult/Horror Movies that might be decent in 2007........

The Hitcher, Primeval (saw it, was decent), Black Snake Moan, Zodiac, Sunshine, 28 Weeks Later, Hostel 2, Rob Zombie's Halloween, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon


Blockbuster Movies that will have to be seen in 2007.............

Spiderman 3, Live Free or Die Hard, Transformers, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Simpsons Movie

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