Showing posts with label quarantine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quarantine. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Reaper's Revenge Haunted House (Review)


I thought I was done with my haunted house road trips. In total, I've been to 7 already this month. But  when opportunity arises to go to 1 more, who am I to say no?

So I found myself near Scranton, PA and with family in tow I dragged them to a haunt that touts itself as America's Best Haunted Attraction. It's a bold strategy Cotton let's see if it pays off for them. And does it?  After going to Reaper's Revenge, it kinda does.

Reaper's Revenge packs a formidable punch in the 4 attractions that it offers. It's a mish mash of a solid haunted hayride, an outdoor maze fool of mischievous carnies and killer clowns, a pitch black maze that seemed to have no end and a quarantine zone that was stellarly executed. Some of the attractions were perfectly executed, others were not but not without the crew trying to make it work which I'll get to.

Overall Reaper's Revenge was a jam packed hour and half of solid haunts mixing in minimalistic creepy with high tech Hollywood special effects. You get a good snack size sampling of all of them for a $35 admission. There's a bon fire and stage as you wait or hang out and you'll be outdoors for most if it. I'll admit I was pleasantly surprised that this haunt seemingly around Scranton used the deep woods to scare the shit out people.

The Haunted Hayride

Reaper's Revenge is one of those rare haunts that forces you to go to each haunt one after the other. You don't get to choose which haunt you go to first or last. You'll pack into a haunted hayride and be with this group as you go along. The hayride was filled with horror monster cameos from a Jason Voorhees, Samara from The Ring and Michael Myers. They offer an option of either being touched or not be touched through all the attractions. If you're a big fat pussy, you can opt to wear a neon green glow in the dark necklace. This necklace seemed to complete the outfit of tween girls wearing Harry Potter scarves and Uggs.

However if you Survivor Up! you'll have the actors get really up close and personal, using chainsaws and jump scaring you as they Ninja up from their hiding places. It seems you can even get them to do your bidding as had my nephew almost get carried away by a chainsaw wielding maniac. There's some good high flying acts during the hayride which is split in 2 (you start off in the hayride and the continue it after you go through the carnival on your way to pitch black). You'll get your standard zombies and moonshine inbred rednecks (I hope they were actually actors, but fuck it's PA right?) Also a few well timed scares like a big ass spider were fuckin awesome.

Lost Carnival

This is a good outdoor maze that utilizes the woods to it's full effect. You'll go through some spooky visuals like roller coasters and a clown fun house. There's a carnival aspect with some potential games to play that come with some sarcastic carnies and some unexpected surprises. There were lots of scares and obstacles I wasn't expecting that even got a hardcore haunted house veteran like myself got me jumping. Even some twins had me singing along. Good stuff.


Pitch Black

I was hoping this would be executed with some nuance awesomeness. However, it seems getting a Saturday crowd through all these attractions, you'll sometimes sacrifice terror for efficiency. Pitch Black is an indoor maze where you'll walk through pitch black darkness. There's a few props  and some actors that will touch you getting you to shiver and scream. But as I went in, we were packed in like cattle and could barely walk through this traffic jam. The staff seemed like they were separating the groups to get people more breathing room but it just didn't work. Good idea, badly executed.

Sector 13

I'll admit. This was probably the best of the mazes at Reaper's Revenge. It's got a good theme (quarantined patrons with infected) and as an outdoor maze the sets and props were well fuckin done.  I think the Ebola jokes were already on peoples minds. Soldiers start you off and mad doctors do a quick check up (I got picked for an unneeded injection). You'll see soldiers patrolling and occupied beds of the infected who seem to have turned into mutant monsters. Good scares come out of all the rooms and from unexpected places. Oh could we be far off from Sector 13 these days?

Final Thoughts

Reaper's Revenge is a gem of a haunted attraction that seems to hit all the common fears we all have. Darkness, clowns, sickness and the horror icons we all few up watching. Packaged into 4 successive haunts, you'll definitely get all your scares and fun in less than 2 hours. I was kind of impressed by it all. is it America's best?  I guess you be the judge.


The Vitals



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Sunday, June 08, 2008

Quarantine (Trailer)

Wow. So as you can see I reviewed Rec a few days ago and after watching the trailer for the US remake Quarantine, I can't believe this is going to be a shot for shot remake.

Fuckin Hollywood.

Everything is exactly the same. Every scene (from the opening old woman zombie to the night vision ending) is going to be plagiarized. The TV reporter is wearing the same white tank top as the Spanish version!

Coupled with more CGI gore, a metal or indie rock soundtrack and severe product placement, this will be another Holly-crap horror production that is the equivelant of a movie Sparknotes.

Well I figure the Spanish filmakers are ok with this but it goes to show you that even when American horror goes right (see Hatchet and Behind the Mask) we are so uncreative that we have to look for our ideas and stories elsewhere.

Quarantine comes out October 17th.

Check out the trailer.



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Thursday, June 05, 2008

[Rec] (Review)

[Rec]

[Rec] (2007)

Directed by Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza

"Is this on? Are you taping? Keep taping!! Is my mic working? Damn this thing is out of focus!"

"OMG! What the hell is coming towards us?!?!?"

"Turn the camera light on!"

"Use the night vision!"

[Cut to something blurry]

"Run!"

[Camera shakes uncontrollably while running]

Where have you heard all this before? Yup it's another 1st person POV flick ala Cloverfield and Diary of the Dead.

Mind you if you read my reviews of those films, I hate this stupid sub genre of horror. You feel naseous while watching, they quickly pan over what they should be taping directly and it's just alot of shaky camerca shots while running.

But Rec actually pulls this off and makes a decent showing using this convention.

Hollywood also knows this which is why they are remaking this brilliant Spanish film into a movie called Quarantine.

I don't know what it was but at a relatively 1 hour and 10 minutes, I really did enjoy myself. I didn't feel vomity, they recorded stuff that should have been taping and there was minimal running camera.

When you do everything the opposite of what I hate, jadedviewer likes.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A hot looking local TV reporter named Angela (Manuela Velasco) and her camera dude are doing a story about the fire department and the men who work there. Out of the blue, they are called to an apartment building where neighbors and police are investigating a screaming crazy woman. But chaos ensues and soon the building has been quarantined by the special police trapping all the residents, police and firemen.

We see Angela continue to interview the neighbors and videotape the chaos. A health official soon drops in and explains a lethal virus has been unleashed that seem to create violent zombie-ish corpses who spread the illness through bites.

Soon, the building is overrun and it's Manhunt, Manhunt 1-2-3. Angela and camera guy try to find a way out.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Angela is hot. So seeing her in most of the shots was easy on the eyes. But Manuela Velasco does an awesome-rific job of being the fearless reporter and acting scared shitless. She's definitely the catalyst for the flick and if she couldn't pull off this performance, Rec would have been another movie in the used bin.

And whereas you always question the cameraman and why he doesn't help during the crazy chaos of whats happening....in Rec, our fearless camera guy Manu actually does some useful things. In doing so, the camera actually helps. Complete darkness? No problem, use the camera light. No camera light? Use Night Vision. Logical...I appreciate that.

The 1st 20 or so minutes sets up the chaos to come. The 2nd 30 is so minutes is everybody trying to find out what the fuck is going on and the final 20 is a survival horror at its best.

I particularly didn't like the ending as it came out of leftfield but it's satisfying like lemonade on a hot sunny day.


Influences

Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Diary of the Dead, 28 Days Later, The Ring

Gore-ipedia

Bloody chomps on necks, old fat crazy lady wounds

WTF moment

The final 10 minutes

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I'm still jaded by these POV flicks. I just don't really like em. But this is the first one that I actually sorta enjoyed that didn't have me beating my head against the wall.

The residents of the building were all very unique. A Chinese family, a woman and her sick daughter, an elderly couple and a guy off his rocker. At least they weren't hipsters.

A lot of hype will accompany this film and its Hollywood ripoff as the handheld "cinema verite" flicks keep giving birth.

I can honestly say I wasn't bored and I'm a nega-reviewer on these flicks.

Just remember when your in a life threatening situation, and you have a camera...keep recording. Because your battery will never die, you'll have endless tape and you'll always keep things in focus.

And after you die, all your friends will see the video of you in our last waning moments, actually know how big of a wimp you are and give them vague theories as to how you died.

Then post it on YouTube.

Rating:

The Trailer:




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