Best Movies of 2009 You May Have Missed (and others you saw multiple times)

Don't worry, my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009 is coming next month (early January). But I wanted to make a list of some of the best non-horror movies I saw this year. I've broken out into the "Box Office Elephants" (your standard summer blockbusters) and the "You heard of these and you still didn't go see it" (straight to DVD, independents, DVDs picked up by US distributors, etc.)

Some of these movies were awesome, some were awesome if you went in with low expectations (ahem G.I. Joe, Terminator) and some were sleeper hits that totally shocked me with how mega-rific they were.

Let's look back on 2009 and see how Hollywood's summer elephants took on the mice of the independent scene.

"Box Office Elephants"

The LOLs

1.) The Hangover

the jaded viewer says: The best comedy of 2009. Nuff said.

2.) Bruno

the jaded viewer says: Not has good as Borat but the shock moments live up to the hype. Bruno brought about Middle East peace...in latex.

3.) Capitalism: A Love Story

the jaded viewer says: Love em or hate em, Michael Moore can turn our economic depression into ironic ha ha's.

The OMGs

1.) District 9

the jaded viewer says: Easily one of the best movies of 2009. The satire is pretty obvious but Blomkamp blends in alien buggers seemlessly into our world and they have personality!

2.) Star Trek

the jaded viewer says: Even if you aren't a Trekkie, you now know who James Tiberius Kirk is. But Spock easily steals the show by being more emotional than a WWE wrestler.

3.) Inglorious Basterds

the jaded viewer says: This jumped to #3 on my Best Quentin Tarantino movies (ahead of Reservoir Dogs!). Fear The Bear!

4.) Watchmen

the jaded viewer says: You really needed to read the graphic novel to get the subtleties of what Watchmen was all about. But Zach Snyder really did make a great movie out of the holy grail of graphic novels Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons Watchmen.

5.) Terminator: Salvation

the jaded viewer says: A lot of people really thought this was awful. Well, I didn't think so. I thought it captured the essence of the Future War that was always talked about. John Connor's scar origin, Arnold's cameo and Kyle Reese and Marcus are brought to life. McG did a solid job here.

"You heard of these and you still didn't go see it"

The LOLs with punches in the face

1.) Black Dynamite

the jaded viewer says: I gave this movie 4 spinkicks! What more needs to be said? Blaxploitation ha ha's at its freakin finest. Here's an actual line spoken by Black Dynamite:

"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only matched by your zest of kung-fu treachery"

2.) Big Man Japan

the jaded viewer says: It's hard to describe this "superhero" movie from Japan but take a bit of Ultraman and mix in Godzilla and you have Big Man Japan. You gotta take my word on this. You will laugh yourself into a coma when you see this.

3.) Crank 2: High Voltage

the jaded viewer says: Not an indie by any stretch, you may have missed Jason Statham's return as Chev Chelios (and his faulty artificial heart). Chev, Amy Smart and a horesetrack. If you've seen it, you know what I mean.

4.) Ong Bak 2

the jaded viewer says: Tony Jaa makes it look so easy. Not as good as the original, the stunts and action sequences here are still vintage Jaa and you won't get bored when knees, elbows and spinkicks are clobbering henchmen.

Spectacular DIY Independents

1.) Ink

the jaded viewer says: The best independent movie to come out this year. It's visually eye candy, a lovely story and filled with characters and dreams you wish you could dream about.

2.) No Right Turn

the jaded viewer says: Grime and crime noir at its best. David Noele Burke's films echoes Tarantino but turns in a crime fairy tale. Good times.

3.) The Local

the jaded viewer says: It's like a Bukowski poem come to life. Crime drama with some kick, Dan Eberle's NYC indie is filled with lowlife characters and an anti-hero with a heart.

You've all seen the elephants, I think you should try to feed the mice. Many of these films are available on Netflix, Amazon and other big box stores. If you need to go to the official site to purchase, seriously buy yourself a present this Christmas and get em. You won't be disappointed.

Did I miss one's on your list? Got any recommendations for me? Go and leave a comment and let me know. Like I said, my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009 is coming soon (once I see the flicks I missed this year).

Bring on 2010!

Categories: Best Movies of 2009, big man japan, black dynamite, crank 2, district 9, inglourious basterds review, ink, ong bak 2

The WTF List: District 9 Edition

There are times when a movie gets hyped so much, you really start asking is this movie actually going to live up to it? Well, District 9 is one of those movies. I went in clean when I saw this movie. I did not read any reviews, only watched the trailer and had no idea what the aliens really looked like. And what did I discover?

District 9 is an outstanding, awesome flick that does not disappoint.

I was blown away by the story, the believable characters and the mega-uber coolness of the blended CGI. It's been a while since I've seen a movie where the CGI was used in a effective way and actually made a character, a very lobstery prawn that is all CGI display human emotions.

Like I said before, I don't like reviewing mainstream Hollywood films so this post is similar to my Fuck You Chev Chelios! My thoughts on Crank 2 post and my first ever WTF List: G.I. Joe Edition.

The difference from this WTF list from the G.I. Joe edition is mostly the shit below is the stuff I was amazed by and reasons to see the flick.

Here ya go. Humans you're welcome!

1.) Really? They landed in Johannesburg? Not Des Moines?
2.) MESSAGE! You might not have noticed. But D9 is an allegory about apartheid in South Africa.
3.) Did you see that Michael Vick-like insect fighting ring?
4.) I really love fictional military Blackwater-like companies
5.) The war gore is war-tastic!
6.) Little prawns are super duper cute!
7.) Fun fact! Van Der Mere means typical stupid man in South African
8.) How did Wilkus learn to speak alienese? Is their a Rosseta Stone edition for that?
9.) I just expected Charlize Theron to show up
10.) Look at what you can do for 30 million dollars with existing technology...I'm talking to you James Cameron!
11.) I'm going to stock up on cat food in case we are visited from ETs
12.) That battle suit Robo-tech Master Chief suit kicked ass
13.) Mark my words: Christopher Johnson will have his own sequel
14.) The movie is very funny, so funny in fact this could have been a new TV show (ha ha you suck V)
15.) When fictional soldiers are being obliterated by scifi high tech weaponry, it gives me a happy
16.) D9 is Rambo but with 3rd world aliens being slaves to corporate defense contractors
17.) My name is [indistinct clicking noise]. I have the courage to Crave indulgence for
this important business believing that you will never let me down either now or in the future.I only ask for 10 million US dollars.....[oh those crazy Nigerian-alien scams!]
18.) I really did feel bad for every prawn killed in D9
19.) Neill Blomkamp has now entered the geek/fanboy lexicon
20.) Peter Jackson vs James Cameron: Peter Jackson is winner!

21.) Wow, an actual summer movie that didn't suck. Yay.

After coming out of the theater, some dude was asking if D9 was good. My friend and I started gushing that is was awesome yet some moviegoers actually didn't like the flick. Really? And all I could think of is that's the typical movie patron these days. Like zombies in Land of the Dead, if you light up the sky with fireworks they remain motionless and filled with thoughtless glee.

If it isn't about giant robots, underwater laser battles and doesn't have a gay dude in it, these jabronis won't like it.

OMG, it's a movie that makes you think. Can we just lock these people up in District 11?

Categories: d9 review, district 9, district 9 review, Neill Blomkamp, peter jackson, the wtf list