Monday, March 09, 2009

Watchmen (Review)


Watchmen (2009)

Directed by Zach Snyder

I've been MIA for a while. My internet has been buggy hence the no posts.

But I did get to watch the Watchmen.

This is going be your a very un-jaded viewer-ish review as I don't really review the big blockbusters but I figure I'd add my 2 cents.

I told people to read the graphic novel since the summer. I've told users to do the same. If you can't find it online for free, buy it.

This is the best graphic novel of all time.

Don't judge the comic by the movie. As a comic book, it loves up to the hype of being the best of the bestest.

It's pure, it's groundbreaking and it's awesome.

The movie is a great adaptation of the graphic novel. The comic is a million times better. So get a copy will ya?

Many people will watch and not understand why the Watchmen is considered the greatest. The tweens and millenials expecting a nocturnal Bat related detective or an indestructable super man, these aren't the droids your looking for.

I actually saw 13 yr old tweens watching this movie!!!!


I hope you got traumatized by the gratuitous gore and the murder of a pregnant Vietnamese girl. I hope that almost rape of Silk Spectre I and Dr. Manhattan's schlong have you scratching out your eyeballs.

This movie, this comic book is NOT FOR YOU!!!

Grow up first and read some Clowes, some Morrison and some Ennis and then watch this. This is for the purists, the comic book geeks, the men and women who appreciate the art.


You bastardize the shit out of this like it a pop culture history lesson.

In any case, the tweens and Gen Y-ers won't "get it". You probably hated this movie, got confused or didn't understand what was going on.

You probably said: "Hey they stole that plot from Heroes!" or retorted: "This sucked, Dark Knight was way cooler".

Fuck you.

You didn't read the graphic novel. And that's why it won't make sense.

The Watchmen, to me is the first. It spawned the progeny we see today. It's the beginning of the everything that has come after it.

Here is why. And I won't even explain any of these. You'll get em or you won't.

1.) Watchmen is supposedly the first to take costumed superheroes into an adult, gritty world of realism

2.) Alan Moore is a god in the world of comics

3.) Rorschach is fuckin awesome

4.) The year is 1985. The US and Russia are superpower enemies. Wikipedia it and you'll understand why it's a big fuckin deal.

5.) Courtesy of IMDB, read this:

Watchmen is based on a graphic novel which emulates and satires the history of characters from Charlton Comics company which had been acquired by DC Comics. Many of the modern superheroes people know today, like The Flash or Green Lantern, are actually the second bearers of those names and in the Charlton Comics world there were two Blue Beetles. The first were characters from the "Golden Age of comic books" of the 1930s and 40s, when superheroes first became a growing fad. The trend eventually died away, but was revived in the late 1950s by the introduction of new characters with new costumes and altered powers, bearing the names of their wartime counterparts, thus beginning the "Silver Age," which led to superheroes becoming a permanent part of Americana.

Moore is making a statement about the history of comics in Watchmen. Show some fuckin respect

6.) The tale of the Black Freighter is essential when reading the story of Watchmen as it portrays a metaphoric parallel to the main story

7.) The Ozymandias plan was the first of its kind and has thus been ripped off by other comics, films, TV shows (ahem Heroes) and books

8.) The Comedian is a bad ass mofo

9.) It won a fuckin Hugo award

10.) It's the greatest graphic novel of all time

I should talk about the movie right? I liked it. I think it did the graphic novel justice. I didn't notice what was changed at first, but having slightly reread the comic, I can now see what was changed.

Some shots of the film are out right sick. Panel by panel remake shots are awesome. All the performances were top notch (except Silk Spectre II).

It was bloody, violent, gritty, dirty and fucked up.


On in all, I was very satisfied.

The die hards will super duper love it, the tweens will be all confused and the mass public will avoid it.

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout 'Save us!' And I'll look down, and whisper "No"



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  1. Watchmen was an overly hyped and poorly written comic attempt when it was published 20 years ago, and it translates into an equally overhyped movie adaptation today that no amount of internet marketing can repair or reconstruct. What is it about this Time-Warner mess we're all supposed to worship again?

  2. What the film didn't capture was the satire of the Golden and Silver Age of comics.

    Lesbian, dominatrix supes, evil supes, all powerful supes.

    This is what Moore was trying to satire.

    The film was lacking this and the only way way people will get it is to read the comic.

    So umm everybody read the comic.

  3. Could you elaborate on the "Golden and Silver Age of comics"? They sound quite interesting, in respect to the satire in the Watchmen comic (which I didn't get, obviously).

    Please pardon my ignorance, I'm not that familiar with comics in general. I've only read V for Vendetta (after seeing the movie, sadly), Watchmen and the first 3 volumes of Preacher (as well as some manga here and there). I'm currently reading Moore's From Hell.

  4. I don't think I could explain it and do it justice.

    You can go Wikipedia the Golden age by going here

    and the Silver age here

    This is why there are 2 Nite Owls and 2 Silk Spectres. These represent the old "gold" guard and new "silver" supes.

    Also Moore is taking satiring Superman (hence Dr. Manhattan's all powerfulness coupled with some marital discontent) and Rorschach was a stab at the Great Detective.

    The Comedian was the sorta the first anti-hero...hero. This could be interpreted as a satire on Captain America.

    The list goes on. It's probably what most people won't understand when they watch the Watchmen. It's a satire of a time when comics were a wholesome and apple pie-y.

    The Watchmen are the first anti-heroes and they kicked ass.

  5. @Burton. The Watchmen movie may have been over-hyped but it was entertaining.

    Jaded you are on point with the silver and gold. I completely missed that, even when I read the gn. I also missed the connection with The Dark Knight, Captain America and Superman. You should have put that in your review.

  6. I saw this movie and loved it, even though it was a bit long.

  7. I agree it was long, but worth it. in these days of crappy movies, it could have been worse!

  8. Yup. You couldn't take a bathroom break on this one. But gasp there might be a uncut director's cut on DVD complete with the Black Freighter stuff.

    I'll be definitely buying that.