Monday, October 13, 2008

Rewind: The Greatest Martial Arts Fighting Tournament Movie Ever Made

[originally posted on on 7/7/02]

The Greatest Martial Arts Fighting Tournament Movie Ever Made

Part I

What movie are the following quotes from?

"You Jackson?? You look like a Jackson."

"You are NEXT!"

"You break my record, now I break you, like I break your friend!"

"Very good. But brick not hit back!"

"Time to separate the men from the boys."

"Just be sure Chong Li doesn't separate your head from you body."

"Don't make us use fifty-thousand volts on you, Frank."

"What the hell's a Dim Mac?"

"Aren't you a little young for full contact?"
"Aren't you a little old for video games?"

"Yes, Hong Kong is a very exciting city."

"No, It's Dux"
"Yeah like put up your dukes? Right?"
"Someday, I'm going to fight in the Kumite and make my father proud"
I'm glad your on our side kid"

"No.....bottom one"

So many more quotes to list. I could go on and on. If you haven't guessed already, all these quotes are from the greatest movie ever...and i mean ever made about a secret illegal human cockfighting tournament.

It's Bloodsport!

Starring Jean Claude Van Damme as Frank Dux. This is the movie that started the martial arts tournament video game craze. This is the movie that spawned Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat and countless other fighting games.

If they had only made Bloodsport into a video game. Look at the characters you would have gotten to play with.

1.) Frank Dux: He would have probably been the best player in the game. A cross b/w Ken and Ryu. No fireballs though. Only a Dim Mak.
Finishing Move: Spin Kick

2.) Chong Li: He should be the best character. He would be Gen. Bison like. Ultimately he would kick and kill everybody in the game.
Finishing move: Some sort of death my punch in the face move

3.) Ray Jackson: Dux's Hell's Angel friend. (Donald Gibb was Ogre in "Revenge of the Nerds")

4.) Hossein: He was Dux's first win int he Kumite.

5.) Paco: Dux beat him in the semifinals.

6.) Prang: Chong Li killed him in the semifinals (i think)

7.) Tanaka: Dux's Shidoshi (teacher)

Other fighters that could have been in the game

8.) Hiro
9.) Oshima
10.) Shingo (Dux's childhood friend that died)
11.) Gustafson
12.) Toon
13.) Chuan
14.) Parades
15.) Pumola
16.) Morra
17.) Yasuda
18.) Cocard
19.) Luu
20.) Aussie

At least 20 fighters could have been in this game. Alas, there were no Playstation's, Xboxes or GameCubes back in 1988. The least they can do now is put this movie on DVD.

Also there are so many unanswered questions in this movie. But that will be covered in Part 2.

Part II

On to my nitpicky, but thought provoking questions about Van Damme, Bloodsport, the Kumite, etc.?

1.) Some people say the Kumite fighters were matched up as red belts versus yellow belts? Is this true?

2.) How did Ray Jackson get an invitation to the Kumite? I mean are the Hell's Angels on the invite list of the Kokoruki Clan?

3.) If the Kumite is so secret how come the blonde reporter knew about it?

4.) Does anybody have or knows of the bracket/match system for the Kumite? How many competitors actually were invited? Did certain fighters get bye's into the quarters?

[Early this year, somebody on Wikipedia actually did it. Check it out.]

5.) We all know Chong Li was not North Korean. However is throwing Fuji dust legal in the Kumite? It must be, the ref saw it. Could Chong Li have used weapons? Say some numchucks were tossed onto the ramp, could he have beaten up Dux w/ it?

6.) How did they post those fighter signs and world record signs so fast? Are there time keepers? I mean is there a Kumite historian watching the fight? Can I meet this guy?

7.) The Kumite ref is freakin useless. It's full contact. No rules. I mean Chong Li killed a guy. I think the ref should have penalized Chong Li. At least given him a warning if he killed anybody else he would be disqualified or at least fined.

8.) You'd think the Hong Kong police would be quite suspicious that all these grown, musclehead men (many of them Westerners) were turning up in the hospital with bruises, broken bones and psychological trauma. Were they bribed? Do they have an alliance with the police?

9.) What happened to Tanaka's kid?

The kid who said: 'One day I'm gonna fight in the Kumite and make my father proud."

He mysteriously died. Did those bullies beat him up like the day after Dux saved him. And then Tanaka adopted Dux. What did Dux's parents have to say about this? Tanaka was torturing Dux and making him do household chores, cleaning, serving tea. We have a right to know.

10.) Finally, If the next Kumite is held in 2003 (it's held every 5 years) will there be Bloodsport: The Return? Van Damme has to make this. He must make this. We need this film. Somebody should inform Van Damme that Daniel Bernhardt ruined his breakthrough movie.

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  1. I think a bloodsport video game would be great. But I think you'd have to beat everyone else and then you'd unlock Tanaka and you'd have to fight him. I think if put in the right hands, the original blood sport script would be a great Hollywood remake. If they can redo Karate Kid they should be able to redo Bloodsport, directed by Guy Ritchie.
    By the way, I googled "Somday, I'm going to fight in the Kumate and make my father proud" and it sent me here.

  2. Thanks for leaving a comment. One day I'm going to do a proper review of Bloodsport.

    Thats my favorite line in the flick.

    Check this out too.