Friday, October 31, 2008

Kekko Kamen: Kekko Kamen Returns (Review)

[It's Kekko Kamen Fridays!!! Thanks to Insano Steve, for the next few Fridays we'll have a review of the Kekko Kamen series, a sleazy, Skinemaxish superhero movies straight from the headquarters of the strange, Japan. Insano Steve spared no expense in fleshing out the movies and you'll find his reviews stimulating and penetrating. Pun so intended!]

Kekko Kamen Returns

Kekko Kamen Returns (2004)

Directed by Takafumi Nagamine

[This review with 50% more breasts!!!]


Japan is a country with no natural resources. It's basically a bunch of barren rocks floating in salt water. But the Japanese have made the most of this unfortunate situation by working 18-hour work days and maintaining a conservative culture. This obviously takes a toll on the Japanese psyche so there must be some outlet for these repressed overworked souls. Hello Hentai!

Hentai is the happy collision of cartoons and pornography. The Japanese really love their hentai because:

1.) They're perverts.

2.) One resource they have is great imaginations. Japan is the most technologically advanced nation in the world. They can't just watch the same old porn over and over.

3.) They are youth-obsessed. Hello-Kitty/J-Pop crap is a freaking big deal there. And so are cartoons.

Let's take a look at my favorite hentai (well hentai minus the penetration), the wonderful Kekko Kamen. This was an anime that was ironically turned into a series of live-action movies. Kekko Kamen (which means "Big Tit Avenger" in English), is the story of a girl, Mayumi, who attends the boarding school, "Toenail of Satan's Spartan Institute of Higher Education".

The school is run by sexual deviants (the ManGriffons/MFG) who use the school to grope, peep, molest and torture the students for their own sexual gratification (hey, like the Catholic Church!).

The students' only protection from the pervs is Kekko Kamen. Our heroine wears only red boots, a mask (with rabbit ears!), gloves, scarf, and her trusted nunchakus. So she's always fully frontally nude. Oh Yeah!

Her special attack is her flying headscissor move, the "Muffication", which works by asphyxiating her enemy with her radioactive vagina. Kekko’s civilian identity is the one non-pervert teacher at the school. Though this is not technically pornography, it is certainly perverted (in a good way of course) and plenty of fun.


Here's a rundown of Kekko Kamen Returns:

Easily the finest of the 4 parts, both in story and perversion. This time, Mayumi is trying out for the swim team (despite not knowing how to swim). The girls practice their ‘breast stroke’ in a pool that’s maybe 2 feet deep.

Mayumi is subjected to the ‘Lung Capacity Amplifier’ which looks suspiciously like a dildo. The girls’ swim coach (who is a giant poorly-rendered frog) whips them mercilessly for motivation, until Kekko drop kicks him unconscious. More panties are appropriated by the MFG.

Mayumi, with the help of alter-ego Kekko, finally learns how to swim. Later on, Mayumi and Kekko make out with each other (oh, how I wish I wasn’t making that up). Kekko mufficates the MFG and the swim team is saved. Fuck yeah!

What separates this part from the rest is the 2 new actresses. The new Kekko actress is much hotter and a little feistier (when naked and otherwise). Ah, but the improvement on Mayumi, wow, …

Aki Hoshino And Her Beautiful Japanese Breasts

What ultimately made me invest in the Kekko Kamen series was the presence of Aki Hoshino as Mayumi. Miss Hoshino is a ‘gravure model’. Gravure is the Japanese equivalent of American Maxim-like magazines. Where you can see a girl’s everything (besides nipples and labia).

She is best known for being over 30 yet looking 13. She is cute and hot at the same time (not easy to do). What sets her apart is her slim model build, yet fantastically large breasts. There’s been much speculation on the authenticity of said breasts and the consensus, so far, is ‘inconclusive’.

Now, everyone knows the tell-tale signs of tit augmentation (gross scars, rock hard immovable bulging round spheres, etc. – think Posh Spice Beckham). And I admittedly, have indirectly researched this subject for countless hours.

But Aki’s breasts don’t fall into any of those obvious fake categories. They are far larger than her frame might suggest. However they are remarkably buoyant and supple. She supposedly even did a CAT scan on them, during a TV show, to reveal no silicon.

So what could it be?

Are they somehow, against all odds, just magnificently real?
Is she a real life manga character?

Or have the Japanese once again improved upon an original design (in this case, God’s)?
(If the Japanese have found a way to ‘build a better breast’, then we all must applaud them. If anyone can do it, perhaps they can.)

Is it some special saline injection?
An all-seaweed diet?
A miracle titty cream?

For me, more research is certainly necessary. In the meantime, God bless all that is Japan.


Check out the trailer.

Now check out Aki Hoshuno showing her assets at a a Japanese baseball game........

And gratuitous running...........

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


Post a Comment