Friday, January 16, 2009

Tokyo Gore Police (Review)

Tokyo Gore Police

Tokyo Gore Police aka Tôkyô zankoku keisatsu (2008)

Directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura

I made a mistake. The Machine Girl ended up as #7 on my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008. Tokyo Gore Police should be there instead.

Actually it should probably be in the top 5. But alas, what's done is done. I can't go ahead and change the list. I mean I'm one of those people that once its posted, its set in stone.

Let's just have TGP and Machine Girl as co-#7's. Cool?

I'm giving TGP 4 fuckin spinkicks. It's 100 times more awesomer than The Machine Girl even taking a crack at it during the movie.

I went into seeing TGP as maybe another Machine Girl. But my expectations were blown away (like many heads). This is the Japanese equivalant of Hong Kong's the Story of Riki Oh, filled with the splatter and gore so over the top, so gushingly gratuitous, so arterial spraying magnificent that one can only wonder if this will EVER be topped.

It works on so many levels. We've got Ruka the hot police officer killing some mutant ass, a plot that actually made sense and the title definitely living up to the flick.

My thing is I've seen the Ichi, Machine Girl, Tetsuo and other crazy Japanese cinema. I'm as jaded as they come when it comes to the Japanese underground flicks. So when I say I was thrilled by everything in TGP, seeing more totally weird and fucked up shit every few minutes, it's saying something.

It's saying this was insanely insane with an atomic bomb of insanity.

Good times.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Set in a future-world vision of Tokyo where the police have been privatized and bitter self-mutilation is so casual that advertising is often specially geared to the "cutter" demographic, this is the story of samurai-sword-wielding Ruka and her mission to avenge her father's assassination. Ruka is a cop from a squad who's mission is to destroy homicidal mutant humans known as "engineers" possessing the ability to transform any injury to a weapon in and of itself.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Tokyo Gore Police will draw comparisons to Robocop. Both have the central plot points of a police that has been privatized and a criminal element that has taken over the city. Also, TGP squeezes in some hilarious "pro" Tokyo Police Corporation PSA's and commercials.

These include Toky Police Corporation PSA, Wrist Cutter G commercial, Samurai Sword "It Cuts!" commercial, a torture Wii parody commercial and a student recruitment video.

All show up randomly throughout the flick and are great ha ha's during the 110 minute gorefest.

Ruka (Audition's Eihi Shiina) is our beautiful, sexy, wristcutting cop whose job is to track down "engineers", mutant humans who once they get sliced or diced regenerate the missing limb into a bioweapon.

And people do lose limbage. Part of the joy was to see what weapon their missing appendage would regenerate into. The prosthetics and home grown rubbery latex may be cheesy, but I'll take that over CGI any day.

The movie follows Ruka as she eliminates these engineers eventually leading her to battle the leader called"The Keyman". The Keyman is key (sorry I couldn't resist) to the plot of who our true mastermind behind the mayhem is.

In a nod to Kill Bill, the keyman explains the real deal through comic storyboards. It's a clever way to reveal the motives and get that pesky plot out of the way so we can get to more splatter.

But lets face it, it's the gore and splatter than dominate. TGP is non stop. I mean freakin non stop when it comes to scenes of arterial spraying, sword slicing and blood on the lens. It's so frenetic that every scene was pure, magnificent Grade A carnage. And the splatter wasn't just a slice and dice every time. Each bloodletting was a little different, a little unique from the others.

Each scene was a carefully constructed artistic piece of splatter and gore. A gunshot blasting open a head, a chainsaw to the face, sword play cutting a body in two, a metal pole thru the mouth and in one glorious piece of gore-ific cinema, Ruka cuts a subway groper's hands with her sword and his arms arterial spray in Matrix-like slo mo as Ruka walks away, under umbrella as it rains blood.

So awesome. So fuckin awesome.

And it keeps going. More scenes of wickedness. We see a brothel full of freaky hookers. All are engineers and all are mutantly delicious. I was hoping the 3 breasted hooker from Total Recall was there. This concludes in a golden shower of epic proportions.


Later, we view a penis gets ripped off, leading to a geyser of blood. A prostitute gets gunned down and regenerates her lower half into a croc like mouth. A cop turned engineer develops a "money shot" mutant cock.

Need I say more?

Yes? OK I'll keep going.

The corporate police, go all police statey and wreak havoc on every citizen. Innocent civs are gunned down and Ruka's bartender friend gets ripped apart medieval style. There is even an homage to The Machine Girl during a fight scene between a rogue policewoman and a Sailor Moon uniformed engineer schoolgirl.

So fuckin cool.

The ending has more limbs, flying fists and concludes with some rocket flying arterial spraying.
Just fitting to a movie that went into the stratosphere of gore movies.

Tokyo Gore Police is a little long, but there isn't any lull in the entire movie. It's one non stop splatter scene after another. Honestly, what movie can claim that?

I have the poster hanging right above my computer, having grabbed it at the NY Comic Con. And it was always on the back of my mind to watch it. I can't believe it took me this long to see this gore-tastic movie.

There is a point where you get in the mood to see a mindless manga come to life. When you enjoy watching real life NC - 17 cartoony violence. Ichi the Killer and Kill Bill use arterial spraying to fit its universe, but movies like The Machine Girl and TGP make arterial spraying and gore the norm.

This could only come from Japan, where the crazy is the norm. I can only imagine if I ever visited Japan that while looking at ladies panties in a vending machine, some dude gets his arm sliced off and arterial sprays an ocean all over the place. I'd scream out "Oh shit!, This stuff happens for real here!"

But I'd probably be too busy playing that torture Wii game.

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

So much to list it would take too long. Most of the good shit is what I wrote in the review.

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

Mutant boobies

WTF moment

The torture Wii game
Slo Mo arterial spraying subway molester punishment

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Some fun facts. Yoshihiro Nishimura did all the makeup and special effects for The Machine Girl, Sukeban Boy, Meatball Machine and Suicide Circle.

As the credits roll, keep watching. There's even a proclamation of "More Gore Coming Soon!".

You really have to be in the right frame of mind to see continuous arterial spraying, blood, gore and splatter. But once you are, this movie will hit all the pleasure centers of every gorehound's brain.

Tokyo Gore Police is artistic gore at its finest, a frenzy of weirdness and carnage that is a testament to this new subgenre of mutant weapon appendages.

This is a millennial cult classic that will only be topped by Nishimura's next splatterfest.


The Trailer

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  1. This movie is required viewing for every gorehound who calls themselves a gorehound.

  2. if you liked Tokyo Gore Police, you gotta watch the new film by Yoshiro Nishimura - Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl