Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (Review)

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

Directed by Tom Six

Sometimes your poop comes in pellet form, other times you need to set up a level 10 quarantine. It's these rather crude analogies that I've conjured up that equate themselves to the original and sequel for The Human Centipede . After eating a burrito, sometimes you fear the worst and sometimes that trip to the bathroom turns out not as bad as you thought it would be. That's what I thought of Tom Six's original.

The Human Centipede 2 is not a good film by any means but its like a newborn's dirty diaper....you get a hell of a surprise. Devoid of any decent plot, a psychopath that is a couple of deadly sins incarnate (think sloth) and 100% medically inaccurate, its a film that is a big "FUCK YOU" by Tom Six for anybody who claimed the original didn't go over the edge. I wrote in my original review: "I'd like to have seen it go over the edge and go into the realm of uncharted super duper uber fuckedupness"

Well Tom Six does exactly that. He should have taken elements from the original and mix in the fuckedupness in this film. But instead he goes waaaaay over the top in an artsy fartsy black and white splatter film and chooses to not give one single fuck about characters, plot and an antagonist we can fear or even be remotely memorable.

Sure the Human Centipede 2 makes 2 Girls, 1 Cup look like a Disney film, but at what cost?

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Martin is a mentally disturbed loner who lives with his mother in a bleak housing project. He works the night shift as a security guard in an equally grim and foreboding underground parking complex. To escape his dreary existence, Martin loses himself in the fantasy world of the cult horror film The Human Centipede (First Sequence), fetishizing the meticulous surgical skills of the gifted Dr. Heiter, whose knowledge of the human gastrointestinal system inspires Martin to attempt the unthinkable.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The beauty of the original was the ridiculousness of Dr. Heiter and his obsessiveness to create a human centipede. Dieter Laser's performance was incredible and his "Feed her!" line will be uttered by horror fans for years to come. But our main sociopath, a mute and obese Brit named Martin is such a disappointment, one can only think that this is what Tom Six thinks of the hardcore horror fan. This fat penguin man, who is obsessed with Six's original film decides to go and make a 12 man centipede where the lovely Ashlynn Yennie will form the head (she's like the black Lion in this fucked up Voltron).

Working at a parking garage, his victims come in all forms from happily married couple, drunk party girls, a pregnant woman, random hooligans and a few other unfortunates that Martin encounters. He's a victim of sexual abuse via his father and his mom begs to have their angry neighbor "kill them both". The family doctor is as degenerate as Martin and makes an appearance as a ro-beast.

The movie is as predictable as your run of the mill slasher. Martin watches the original, jerks off, feeds his pet centipede (yes you read that right he has a pet centipede) stalks his victims and kills. Lather, rinse and repeat. It's the same old shit for like an hour. Six decides this meta-verse is him being crazy fuckin clever (he's not). That's not to say our mute Martin doesn't make a few intentional ha ha's. His excited cheering during the "feed her!" scene as he rewatches the classic and a few phone calls from a casting agent give us winks to the audience's knowledge of part 1. Martin is a walking grotesque, a child with a loaded gun that enjoys inflicting harm for his obsession. He's his own Dr. Frankenstein and squeals with glee as he shapes his very own human centipede but the only thing WE the audience care about is seeing his creation.

And that's why you have to watch an hour of this film to see it. And it's like seeing a Rorschach test made of human feces. Your only reason for sitting through this film is to see the fuckin full sequence. 3 was not enough for us. We want 6...no we want 9...how about 12!

Where the original had Dr. Heiter use a clean sterile environment and had medical precision for his experiment, Martin uses a dirty, filthy abandoned warehouse complete with rusty tools for his operation. And here comes the Gore-ipedia. Sliced knee tendons, really bad dental surgery, tongue trauma, staple gun frenzy and a lot of duck tape. The splatter and gore are at its peak and they are making gorehounds rejoice. It's not until we get to Martin's own "Feed her!" scene do we get to fuckedupness levels of fuckedupness. It's LITERALLY shit in motion. Even Martin's comeuppance at the end is a level of the surreal and definitely 100% medically IN-accurate.

The Human Centipede 2 is a competitive horror viewing contest. The original was easy to stomach, participants easily digested everything they took in. But HC2 is seeing a dude eat beyond his capacity and then vomit it all up. Do you really want to see that shit?

I'm not buying into any theory that HC2 has some underlying meaning in it. I firmly believe Tom Six was responding to all of us who LOVED the original or HATED it but both sides agreed it didn't go over the line of what it was advertised to be. But this time he delivers a disgusting, gore soaked and diarrhea of a film that has none of the awesomeness of what made the original so memorable.

All that's left to do after watching The Human Centipede 2 is to flush the toilet.


A few boobs and ass via our victims
Martin's shirtless obesity made me throw up in my mouth a little


See above labeled Gore-ipedia

WTF moment

Martin's comeuppance

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I'm giving HC2 2 spinkicks. It's not a good movie like I said but it's got scenes that I'll admit leave a damn fucked up imprint in your mind. I did laugh a few times because of the ridiculousness of it all but those LOLs were few and far in between. I had HC2 as the #1 Remaining Best of the Rest Horror Movies of 2011. What can I say? I got caught up in the hype.

The Human Centipede 2 is being distributed by IFC Films and will get a theatrical release on October 7th.

The Vitals


Check out the trailer below.

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  1. I was having such a fantastic weekend. Parties all weekend, everyone getting wild... So much fun.

    Then my friend suggested we watch this movie.

    Weekend... ruined. The fetus scene will never leave my brain. I certainly won't bother watching the third sequence if there happens to be one.

  2. A great horror film! Much better than the first. Either the star is a great actor, a retard, or both. In any case, he's perfect. The fact that he worships and emulates that horrible first movie redeems the writer/director. Martin outsmarting the producers and star of the first movie was plot enough for me.

    1. I know Laurence R. Harvey (the actor who played Martin) online and he is actually a very bright and sweet man. Not a retard at all. He has a lot of talent as an actor, I just hope he can get past his non- A lister looks and find a niche for himself.

  3. "Martin is a walking grotesque, a child with a loaded gun that enjoys inflicting harm for his obsession..."

    I love this part of the review! Anyway, this movie was NOT as disturbing as I thought it would be. I actually found it darkly funny at times (I have a pretty sick sense of humor,) but I tuned out when the torture began. You're right, THC2 is not a very good movie, but I did think Laurence R. Harvey did an outstanding job as Martin. He conveyed so much with so little dialogue. I actually liked this better than the 1st one, but I've decided not to watch #3 because I'm sick of Tom Six pimping his cruel vision out by enthusing that each one is going to be the 'most disturbing movie ever' and I don't like the culture around it.

    On a weirder note, I'm friends with Laurence R. Harvey on Twitter (he's a lovely person, no really) and he has a homosexual stalker who wants to have sex with Martin. Let me repeat that- he wants to have sex with Martin. Chew on THAT for a while.

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