Friday, December 05, 2008

Friday the 13th (Full Trailer and New Poster)

I wouldn't be a horror site if I didn't cover the big news of the day, right? So here's my obligatory post of the Friday the 13th remake, slated to be released on February 13th, 2009.

Yahoo Movies got the jump yesterday and has the full trailer online. Check it out by going here.

The new poster is also up as you can see above.

I totally dig the new Jason Voorhees. He does look menacing and from the trailer seems a wee bit smarter than your average slasher redneck. It may just be me, but pre-zombied Jason is the best (Part III to me is the best of em all).

I'd rank em as Voorhees, Myers, Kreuger.

The trailer is flashy, but very spoiler ridden. Did we really need 13 "almost" kills? Fuck you for doing that. As long as Jason's screen time is limited (I know thats blasphemous to say) this would probably work better as the early movies made it a point to show only 10-15 minutes of Jason.

And of course we need to follow our basic F13th model work flow. It should be as follows:

1.) A final girl
2.) Jason Voorhees
3.) Gratuitous Nudity
4.) Kill quality

2 totally awesome kills ("Oh that was fuckin awesome")
4-5 decent kills ("Wow, that must have hurt")
2 he was killed offscreen kills ("That's where that blowtorch ended up")
3 machete kills ("Jason totally went all Kill Bill with his machete")

5.) Spooky music
6.) Stereotypical cardboard cutouts of teenagers
7.) The local who warns the teens of impending danger
8.) Jason unmasked
9.) Jason gets killed by final girl
10.) A total WTF ending

That's all I'm asking for. Thoughts about the trailer? the remake?

Now back to your regular scheduled program.

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  1. I must admit the "chhchhchh, haahaahaa" at the end gave me the chills. My memories are so ingrained with that sound. Friday the 13th was always my favorite of the 80's slasher series, I must have watched those films upwards of 50 times in my life.

    I was a little pissed when I heard they were remaking it. But there are so many crappy sequels, what does it matter if they're doing it again? They're obviously not remaking the first one, note for note, since Jason isn't the killer that film.

    This team did a decent job with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre film, so I'll probably go out and see it for old time's sake.

    What I Watched Last Night

  2. This is #12. I always thought they'd get to #13 so as long as Jason doesn't outright freakin speak, we should be ok.

    I feel for the noobs who will think Voorhees is the best thing since the 2nd gen ipod.

    Damn millenials