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Temptation (Review)

Temptation

Temptation (2009)

Directed by Catherine Taylor

The UK too can churn out its own versions of DHARMA Initiative "GENERIC LESBIAN VAMPIRE FILM". The perfect example is Temptation, which plays out like a bad modern day Anne Rice novel.

All the cliches are here and they follow a Macarena beat down to the super cliched very obvious ending.

If I wanted my fix of a lesbian vampire film, I'd watch anything from Jess Franco. But you've gotta cash in on the vampire craze which is still alive and kickin. True Blood, Let the Right One In, Daybreakers and *gasp* Twilight to keep you tuned into the 24/7 convenience store that is vampire. They should have read my Vampire Rules 101.

At least those all have clever premises. Temptation has hot British chicks with red contact lenses and plastic dollar bin fangs.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Catherine Taylor's seductive and tantalizing vampire tale unleashes an onslaught of bloody killings, sexual excess and vampiric desire set against a lush, colorful London night life of swinging singles and nocturnal predators. Beautiful, young professional Isabel (Caroline Haines) is out on the town with friends. One too many is the least of her problems when she is saved from the clutches of a serial rapist by a centuries-old, ruthless but gorgeous vampire, Aurelie (Rachel Waters) - but at what cost.

Now under Aurelie's spell and with an intensifying taste for blood, Isabel has only 48 hours to decide whether to give in to her lustful and crimson cravings or end it all before it's too late.
Temptation brings a fresh and new look to the vampire genre with atmosphere, sensuality and filmmaking bravado.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

No extensive review here. Let's just list vampire cliches ok?
  • Our protagonist? Semi hot British blonde
  • Let's begin the movie at the end...then have a finale where we began the movie!
  • Cabbie on passenger rape violence
  • A French vampire with fiery red hair
  • Rapid fire music video edits and cuts
  • Flashbacks to things we just saw 2 minutes ago!
  • Vampire suckage
  • Dreams of the vamp who made you in 80s music video fade montages
  • Hmmm I can't seem to eat regular food and the sunlight hurts me...it must be that time of the month
  • Gratuitous black and white cop investigation
  • The douchebag boyfriend that becomes the first meal
  • Nightclubs with burlesque and over elaborate dance numbers
  • Hot, sexy vampire vixens making meals of the clientele
  • Flashback to 1700s vampire origins
  • More flashbacks to things we saw 1 minute ago!
  • More lesbian vampire nekkidness and kissing
  • Why is it nobody believes in vampires in vampire movies?
  • The old debate: should I be a vampire or get a spontaneous combustion tan?
  • Let's kill the vamp that sired me because I'm a "good vampire with a heart"
  • Look who's a vampire too supposed twist ending!
Temptation is generic as they come in this super duper sub sub sub genre of vampire films. I really can't get into the same old story.

I love the sub genre of vampire films but if you don't do anything different, you FAIL. This story has been done to death and either you twist the Bram Stoker's vamps into something creative or you make a zombie film.

On second thought, please don't.

Gore-ipedia

Sliced throats
Blood oozage
Knife trauma
Neck trauma

Nude-ipedia

Various quick cuts of boobies but none from our vampyro lesbos

WTF moment

Those flashbacks of things we saw 6 seconds ago

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

If you want to get your vampyro lesbos on, Temptation is your quick fix. It's now on DVD via Vicious Circle Films from Breaking Glass Pictures. What can I say? This is a movie that I didn't want to sink my teeth into. (classic cliche pun...thank you thank you)

Rating:

Check out the trailer below.



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Redheads? British accents? Girl on girl? Sounds like my dream porno!

If the film is anything like the ridiculously staged production stills, I will stay far away. Hot vamp chicks or not.

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