I love my city. It's got almost everything you can think of. If you want to buy a pair of swimming goggles and grape drink, the corner bodega probably has it. You've got nightlife, restaurants and culture. NYC really is the greatest. But it wasn't always this way.
Back in the 70s and 80s, it was a living breathing cesspool of fucked up depravity. Millennials weren't born yet so giving them a chance to time travel to this evil version of NYC is a horror movie come to life.
That's where Nightmare New York Haunted House comes in. For the last 2 Halloweens, Nightmare has given us an array of serial killers in all different forms but this year they've given us a theme that will have you looking over your shoulder in each unique and nostalgic room.
Nightmare New York is a stroll through the pre-Disney, hobo loving, pervert molesting, roach crawling cesspool of NYC 2-3 decades ago and it's nostalgic depraved fun. It's hard to imagine this dystopian NYC was actually real but for those who lived here (including myself) have memories, some good mostly bad. A time where the ghosts of the Dakota went all Shining. A time where once you got off from Times Square, you got mugged in 2.9 seconds. A time where the subway was the most dangerous place in the entire world. A time where flashers and degenerates had you running to the other side of the street. A time of rampant serial killers including David Berkowitz and the legendary Cropsey legend. A time where killer viruses created Typhoid Mary, a person who knowingly spread this Ebola like virus. And finally a time where roaches and rats were as common as pigeons and squirrels and could make Stone Cold Steve Austin squeal.
Nightmare NY gives you a showcase showdown of the worst NYC had to offer back in the day. With the actors spinning tales of days gone by and giving you in your face performances, they leave a lasting imprint of this bizarro NYC some have tried to forget. In the midst of this, the scares will come from expected places haunted house veterans will notice but noobs and Ugg wearing tween girls will be in for some shocks and surprises. I loved the Dakota room's "special effects" and subway car room the best. The maze from room to room isn't without some in between fun and the infamous pseudo safe haven that has you going outside at Nightmare has a new twist this year.
Veterans of Nightmare may find the walk through of the 20 minute maze unscary but Nightmare is a mix of old school animatronics, actors hiding in plain sight and well designed throwback rooms that should be seen to be believed. There were some missed opportunities that could have been improved. The 1980s subway car was asking to play on old school stereotypes (maybe some stereotypical hobos and mugger types mixed in with Wall Street types and the killer is not who you'd expect). Also, Nightmare gives you the option to be touched (faux blood will be marked on your forehead) which was an ample opportunity to be exploited in different ways (especially when you go outside) and in other rooms where getting up close and personal would have made even the most alpha-est of alpha males squirm. Finally, past end rooms Nightmare has done ended in a literal BANG! though Nightmare could have had you covered in pretend critters and crawlers that would have freaked anybody out.
Nightmare New York is a relentless look back to when the city that never sleeps took a long Rip Van Winkle nap and while the city slept, the lunatics and maniacs decided it was time to party. Nightmare celebrates this and it's most amped up level and if you have nostalgic memories, have longings to relive this version of NYC or want to see what it was like way back when, Nightmare New York is waiting for you to give you a full self guided tour.
Killers: New York Haunted House is located at Clemente Soto Velez
Cultural and Educational Center (CSV) located at 107 Suffolk Street
(between Rivington and Delancey)
As you enter Killers 2: A Nightmare Haunted House, a man tells you about the horrors of unsolved murders and gruesome murders of NYC and around the country. It's pretty terrifying to know serial killers are out there, somewhere waiting, hunting. If this doesn't unnerve you a bit, maybe a walking Jeffrey Dahmer lookalike will. The notorious reputation gained from last year's haunted house Tim Haskell's sequel is actually more terrifying and spectacularly awesome than the previous version. The rooms move like clockwork, the performances are top notch and set up jump scares that will have you jumping out of your shoes and an ending that will make you rethink walking down an infamous street.
Nightmare Killers 2 is a perfect clash of documentary meets haunted house terror. You may not know who each of these infamous serial killers are, but they all will be imprinted in your mind once you leave. If there is one New York City haunted house you and some friends want to get your scare on, Killers 2 is it. It has all the elements of the traditional room scares, the sets that go from tight spaces to creepy uncomforableness and just the right amount of scares from being the first person in to the last person out.
Wikipedia the Killers
Like last year, I attended Killers 2 with the lovely "L" from Downtown Traveler. It seems we are both adept at being both jaded upon all haunted houses these days with the thing scaring us the most is not being able to know where to go next. Upon entering the Clemente Soto Velez Cultural and Educational Center, you'll be greeted at the acid trip paintings of some of history's notorious serial killers with a some notes on their gruesome murders and crimes. I highly suggest you read these blurbs so you know who you'll be meeting once you go in. This year also has a Killers Act Stage where a variety of performers (ranging from some piano playing to spoken word when I was there) perform for the people waiting on lines. It's something to watch instead of playing Candy Crush on your phone.
Molested by Uncle John
In keeping with what worked, Nightmare brings back the option of being touched by the actors. If you choose to do so some double XX blood splatter will be marked on your forehead. I of course chose this option because who doesn't liked getting touched by depraved psychopaths? Patrons will go in groups of 6 or so and it actually is the perfect amount to get the most of each room. Groups work best as you can laugh at others being scared shitless.
I won't spoil the rooms but this years version seems to up the ante. Actors will get up close and personal, yell out instructions and retort with their own brand of devlish humor if you disobey. You'll get a variety of rooms, with set designs that you may remember and others that are intricately detailed with 70s and 80s nostalgia. And with these elaborate sets are the infamous killers, telling their wicked tales of murder and dementia. Last years version had the creme de la creme, this years we get some familiars and a few that you probably never heard of (I didn't). Harrison Graham and Aileen Wournos might have you Googling but Charles Manson and Richard Ramirez will have you going oh oh. A few fictional killers will make appearances as well and were quite a surprise.
Each room tells a tale and the actors do a great job of giving you some Wikipedia about these maniacs before the unsuspecting participants get BOOed! It's in your interest to immerse yourself in each room and get an idea of the story each rooms pulls off. If you partake earlier in the season, you'll have at least a minute and a half in each room and the haunt paces it nicely making sure you get to spend quality time with each killer. You'll be asked to perform some actions and marked foreheads will get extra attention. I was again molested by John Wayne Gacy (goddamit I hate clowns) as I made a new friend in his basement. Nightmare seems to moving over into that edge of getting under your skin with the touching and even my sarcasm directed to the actors didn't break their concentration. Uncle John promised me candy. I didn't get any.
Later on "L" got abducted by Richard Ramirez and I was called an "asshole" by a certain American Slasher. The actors truly make it work and even go into the surreal with Wuornos room being very. It would seem you can get 20-30 minutes out of the whole experience though I found myself trudging into each room head on and allowing myself to get up close and personal.
WTF is for WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK?
Nightmare had a few rooms that seemed anti climactic. An outside adventure that had Dexter last year was a bit more subdued. There was some cushioned narrow corridors and a swamp that had me mesmerized by the design but also as scared as watching Twilight. However, the ending of a certain Harrison Graham was completely bonkers and I had remnants my encounter with a certain "monster" all over my shirt. That to me should have been the ending but instead we get a post credits scene that made it anti climactic. But overall, that last encounter proved priceless to myself and it was something I would not forget.
With Halloween fast approaching, each room may not get your full attention as crowds and actors will speed read their lines and scare faster. I think if you go before Halloween or after, you'll get the full effect of what Nightmare Killers 2 has to offer.
Killers 2 is one of those haunted house sequels that actually outdoes its predecessor. The direction, the pace, the actors, the killers and the overall experience is one that seems fine tuned and in flow. New York City is a scary place in itself sometimes but even the hardcore jaded New Yorker needs to go to a place that creates a scare machine to test his limits.
Why not attempt to go through a maze of serial killers? If you pass that test, it's like getting a gold star and some candy.
Killers: A Nightmare Haunted House is located at Clemente Soto Velez
Cultural and Educational Center (CSV) located at 107 Suffolk Street
(between Rivington and Delancey)
With October fast approaching, it's time we all got our spook on. And what's the best way to do that? A New York City haunted house. The Jaded Viewer and Nightmare Killers 2 have teamed up to do a little giveaway contest.
I have yet to enter the sequel to last year's haunted house but I will be going soon and will post a review soon. In the meantime, to get in the mood for the opening of this notorious NYC haunt on 9/27, The Jaded Viewer in conjunction with Nightmare is giving 1 (ONE) FREE TICKET to this year's haunt.
How do you enter? In either the comments of this post or on the Jaded Viewer Facebook page, write down the following:
1.) Who do you think is the most infamous serial killer in history?
2.) Your name
3.) Your e-mail address
I will then pick a name a name at random and the winner gets one free ticket to Nightmare Killers 2. That's it.
Contest ends October 6th. Good luck! **Please note there are Blackout days. The only blackout dates for winners are October 18th and 19th, 25th and 26th and 31st.**
Want more info on Nightmare Killers 2? Check out this awesome linkage!
"It's just a nightmare, let's put it that way. It's been a nightmare for a long time, even before I was caught … for years now, obviously my mind has been filled with gruesome, horrible thoughts and ideas … a nightmare."
-Jeffrey Dahmer, serial killer
You aren't going to NOT get a controversy when you open up a haunted house based upon history's most notorious serial killers. That's what Tim Haskell has been thinking about since it was announced. He has put his thoughts on his blog as why this year's edition has killers as a focus. In a nutshell he writes: "The events inside the haunted house are fast and visceral and do not
reenact any of the crimes. We treat these killers for what they are –
killers. We should be afraid of them. They are terrifying, and will be
presented that way."
So once you get over the fact that, we Americans, as a whole have fascination with the psyche of these men and women you start to realize that they become more real as monsters than any vampire or zombie ever could. They are true boogeyman in every sense of the word. Nightmare: Killers is a culmination of the fear that these depraved, sick individuals actually walked the streets we walked and their crimes were more horrific then anybody dream up. The fact we can role play on that fear through a 20-30 minute haunted house is indeed what Halloween is all about.
So let's get into the fact that even though this is a bit heavy on the subject manner, haunted houses are designed to get your heart pounding and to have fun.
Nightmare Killers is, from room to room one of the best designed and acted haunted houses I've been to. Within each room you get a sense of the terrifying tales of woe behind each killer, a set design matching a "hot" Hollywood set and scares that are seamless in their execution. Even when I went during a preview first run, the actors seemed to be on top of their game.
You'll walk through a collection of the worst of the worst evil humanity has ever spawned, confront them and get the chills you paid for.
Forehead Blood, the Killers and Audience Participation (LIMITED SPOILERS AHEAD!)
There is a serial killer gallery and bar before you enter so you can calm your nerves down by looking at historical art and memorabilia. Look at the faces of these killers to get an idea of who you may encounter. The "FBI" will document your activities and you should interact with them and let them know you don't have any Dexter like tendencies.
The big change that Nightmare implements this year is they are giving you a choice in whether or not you wish to be touched by the actors (though in a limited fashion). Before going in, patrons who wished to participate have fake blood dabbled onto their forehead. This indicates to the "Killers" you are a willing participant. I of course said yes and it was well worth it. If you decide to go, definitely take this opportunity to fully get the immersive experience.
Patrons will go in within groups of 6. Once in, it's a medium burn of thrills. You'll start off slow but the the rooms do get more edgy as you go along. Here you will encounter the lives of the most infamous serial killers; Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, Ted Bundy and some other modern day killers. Each room has a story to tell, like a live action vignette where you get to hear the thoughts of what made these men infamous. Once you hear their tales, it's time to be put into their world and live a few moments of terror from that victim POV.
The room are methodically designed and I urge you to take your time and not scamper from room to room. Let me repeat that. WALK FUCKING SLOW. Look at the props, the sets and the walls. It's all part of the show aside from the actors. Spread out across the room and take it all in. You know the scares are coming but it won't have the same effect if you don't listen to the dialogue and interact. The best elements of doing this come into play as you meet Ed Gein, go to death row and meet a most perverse clown. I also urge you to take it slow towards the end when a certain screaming girl named Lizzy shows up. You'll miss one of the best special effects I've seen in a HH in a while.
Also what was very surprising is that you'll end up outside where you'll encounter a very well known albeit fictional serial killer. I have to say this was the best room of the haunt aside from the last one.
There were a few rooms that I thought could have been worked out better. These include the Zodiac, Jack's bloody alleyway and a bathory. I guess these were designed for some lull before the storm moments but I'd have preferred to get the scare-o-meter into the red when you're knee deep within the house. Also, as I mentioned before it is indeed short in terms of time. It could take you 30 minutes if you do as I say and go slow but 20-25 minutes or less if you're speed walking through it. But we'll go with quality of time rather than quantity here.
Nightmare Killers is by far their best version yet. Creator and director Tim Haskell, Producer Steve Kopelman and Director Joe Haralacher have assembled a crew and actors who have taken Nightmare to the next level. If last year's version had you second guessing Nightmare, this is the edition you need to go to to see if they've gotten their mojo back.
In a sense, this is a traditional haunted house with all scares locked in a box waiting for you to open it up. However, it's nontraditional in that you're spending time with the most wretched and depraved real life human monsters to have ever walked our country. Nightmare reproduces a way to spend some time with these sickos. The fact that we want to says a lot about ourselves. Right?
Killers: A Nightmare Haunted House is located at Clemente Soto Velez Cultural and Educational Center (CSV) located at 107 Suffolk Street (between Rivington and Delancey)
Tis the season to be fearful, fa la la la la, la la la.
Well after having attended Nightmare (Before Christmas) The Experiment, I got a good dose of fear, humor and had tons of fun seeing others cringe. It's a great show and the audience definitely gets their money worth participating in this one of a kind show.
Partnering with Nightmare: New York, I'm giving the gift of fear by having a contest to win TWO (2) tickets to Nightmare: The Experiment on 12/22 (Thursday). The contest will run from today to 12/20 (Tuesday).
What do you need to do to win?
***Tell me the most embarrassing or craziest story where you had to face your worst fear.***
Based on creativity, humor and triumph (and a combination of all 3), I'll pick the best story. The first fear you'll have to overcome is telling this story to the Internet.
I'll pick the winner on Wednesday 12/21 and you'll get to experience The Experiment for yourself! You can enter in the following ways:
**Be sure to include your e-mail address as well if you enter via comment**
If you win via Facebook, please contact me from the e-mail address above for further instructions. If on Twitter, I'll DM you.
From the official site, here's the info about this new holiday haunt.
Psycho Clan, producers of NIGHTMARE, New York’s most horrifying haunted house and AOL CityGuide’s No. 1 rated haunted attraction in NYC have announced that they will expand the sensory assaulting theatre experience THE EXPERIMENT into an off–Broadway run on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. A special holiday version of NIGHTMARE (BEFORE CHRISTMAS): THE EXPERIMENT will run December 9 through December 23, 2011 at Los KabayitosLaboratorio at the Clemente Soto Velez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk Street between Rivington and Delancey.
Studies have shown that the anxiety of the holiday season, coupled with seasonal depression, heightens the neurotransmitters associated with feelings of fear. The Psycho Clan experimental division plans on exploiting those levels of fear for an adrenaline rushing 50 minutes of twisted holiday pleasure, with NIGHTMARE (BEFORE CHRISTMAS): THE EXPERIMENT. The event was originally part of this year’s haunted house as a second attraction, but due to its popularity, has been expanded and will return for a horrifying Christmas spectacular that’s able to amplify what it did in its previous installment and experiment on the whole audience in a terrifying (and entertaining) examination into the limits of fear.
“Christmas is supposed to be a joyful time. For too many, it just isn’t. If you don’t always feel joy during the holidays, a good scare will trigger those senses,” says Co-Director Timothy Haskell. “The same endorphins that are released during moments of joy and pleasure are the same ones coursing through your nervous system during times of great fright. So let fear ignite your holiday spirit!”
The Experiment runs from Dec 9th to Dec 23rd. Tickets are $20 and showtimes run at 7pm, 8pm and 9pm. The haunt lasts about 50 minutes or so.
Fairy Tales come in all forms. Throughout history, we are told elaborate stories of wolves, children and monsters all designed to teach us a moral and ethical lesson. But they all have an underbelly that when you actual read between the lines, is actually terrifying for kids. Why would parents tell these horrible tales to kids?
But Tim Haskell is more than happy to tell his kid (see the video below) and is excited to introduce these terrifying tales to us in this version of Nightmare, the latest incarnation of his world famous haunted house. Having attended the previous 2 years haunts (Nightmare: Superstitions and Nightmare: Vampires) I love how Haskell and his team change it up year to year. Now back at their original location in the Lower East Side (NYC), this latest version is an experience back to our macabre childhood, where the monsters are allowed to terrify us once more and unfortunately there is no bed we can hide under.
Nightmare: Fairy Tales use of storytelling, gimmicks and elaborate sets are what separates it from the rest. Clearly, the BOO! factor is in play but you're reminded of each of these fairy tales and how wonderful the stories are. My journey into Nightmare: FT was on press/Twitter night, where a few select group of people got to go to the experience before it opened. Usually this is to get the kinks out of the haunt and I was more than happy to be a Guinea pig in this experiment (we'll get to a few examples later on). Accompanied by my friend "K" and a stranger from a foreign land "F", we were the final group to experience the haunt.
The waiting is much of the buildup as the actual experience. Surely by the time you read this, you'll be waiting on a long line and having butterflies in your stomach. The atmosphere in the building, the dimly lit bar next to the haunt and the characters mulling around the line will have you on your toes. A "Woodsman" and an "Executioner" were fun conversations as "K" and me waited in anticipation. Knowing we would be the last of the parties to enter also built up a level of dread. Would the cast go a bit extra serial killer on us?
[WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!!! DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT THE EXPERIENCE SPOILED FOR YOU!!! THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!!!]
We are given a business card where our name and greatest fears were asked to be written down is how it starts. Greeted by Rapunzel, we are quickly blindfolded and led by her hair into the haunted house. It's a great and awesome way to start the haunt, total darkness and disorientation to get you scared shitless. Each room is ingeniously designed. I have always taken my time to admire the work that's been done to each set piece. The actors are all full of energy as we encounter fairy tales from Hansel and Gretel, The Boy Who Cried Wolf, Rumpelstiltskin, Snow White and Red Riding Hood. Given a map of the haunt at the beginning of the tour (it's a little useless unless you find "the secret room"), you'll need to step carefully as the scares are well hidden from your view.
I've always said that the person who enters the room first isn't necessarily the one that will get jolted by a BOO! It can come from anywhere, at anytime and from anyone. The best thing of all the Nightmares is the ability to interact with the characters. One of our devilishly dressed characters asks "K" what her greatest fear was and responding she said roaches. "F" and I looked on as she was taunted by this fear monger. And like WHOOSH! she was gone.
Characters come to life, they experience pain and the well lit signs tell you from what fairy tale it's from. Passing over a rickety bridge and then down a Pinocchio gauntlet are one of the many obstacles to over come. But one of the most fascinating events from Fairy Tales comes in the form of a shadow play that tells the tale of a young child and an executioner. I haven't seen a shadow play in a quite a while and it was mesmerizing to watch. Watch out for the surprise.
Remember to check in via Facebook to get a map so you can experience the secret room. You'll have to figure out who you've been talking to, to *GASP* save your soul. The whole fairy tale part lasts around 20 or so minutes but that's not the end of your journey, it's the beginning.
As described in the press release:
Another component to this year’s NIGHTMARE will be a sensory assaulting 5-D theatre experience called THE EXPERIMENT created and directed by John Harlacher and Timothy Haskell. Unlike year's past where the second event was a much smaller prelude to the main event, THE EXPERIMENT is actually Full-on, every bit as satisfying and experiential as the haunted house. Experienced from your chair in a small lab, you are a subject in a case study for research on the threshold of fear. Will YOUR limits be hit?
It's a clear 360 degree switch to go from fairy tales and a traditional haunted house to this psychological experiment turned awry. Each experiment is designed to get you out of your comfort zone. Due to the fact I was in a group of only 3 people, The Experiment is full of ways to embarrass you and even make you laugh.
After you've made your way upstairs, you enter a bizarre theater where a well dressed "professor" proceeds to get your name and where your from. From here it turns out to be a Q&A from hell. The one thing its designed to do is to grab on to your fears. And for many of us fear of public speaking is one of the worst things one can go through. Even with "K" and "F" the only audience, I was hesitant to participate. The professor does say if you are "uncomfortable" with the questions, you can say so and nothing is asked further. I can imagine on a packed night, the audience can be full of people from 10-20 people and if selected it could be horrifying.
Questions about bathroom activities, arousal and what you fear the most are one of many questions where you have to stand in front of the crowd and reveal. Others included the use of illegals and legal substance abuses as well as acting out the worst fears in your life. It's a unique spin on the supposed haunted house and I'll admit it was kinda awesome. My partners in crime were equally confused and bewildered and "F", a tourist from Germany who stumbled upon press night had a grand ole time experiencing this most American of Halloween endeavors. Where we PAY to be scared by strangers. I highly doubt this happens in Germany.
Once the bizarro Q&A is over, you trudge through claustrophobic darkness and emerge in a well lit lab, complete with a poncho and see headsets on the chairs. The lab is full of HD monitors, various lab equipment and a two scientists (one male and one female) who begin a series of experiments that may get your squirming (as it did me) and jumping out of your seat.
You'll be exposed to a few animals that you detest, listen and watch a video that will spook the hell out of you and be "blessed" with some substances that the inner germaphobe in you will freak out. The finale is one that is an exploding mess!
Nightmare: Fairy Tales has done a great job of reinventing themselves this year. These 2 parts of the haunted house are completely different and oddly enough compliment each other. Haskell has in a fact, taken the traditional, mixed in the experimental and created a new haunted house that will scare you both internally as it does externally. Rarely can one personalize a haunted house to the masses but Nightmare: Fairy Tales does just this.
It's truly a revolution of the haunted house, one that is tailored to the fears you've overcome and with the fears that still linger in you. My friends and I eagerly discussed right after the experience what had happened. You will to. The fear you have to overcome first....is the one where you have to build up the courage to actually VISIT Nightmare: Fairy Tales.
It's the first step towards an experience you won't soon forget.
Nightmare also has a new haunted house in the Bronx called Nightmare: Z-Day
Nightmare: Fairy Tales is located at Clemente Soto Velez Cultural and Educational Center (CSV) located at 107 Suffolk Street (between Rivington and Delancey)
To buy tickets to NIGHTMARE: FAIRY TALES visit www.nightmarenewyork.com or call 212.352.3101. Tickets are $30 in advance/$35 at the door. VIP tickets are $60 and gets you to the front of the line with no wait as well as a goodie bag. A Super VIP ticket is available for $100 and gets you to the front of the line. It also includes a goodie bag, a t-shirt, two drinks and a backstage tour with the director after you walk through.
Check out the video below!
If you check it out, come back here and leave a comment about your experience!
Sure it's over a month away from Halloween, but that doesn't mean you can't get your scare on. Because NYC's best haunted house is planning on making you feel really uncomfortable as you break every superstition you hold dear in Timothy Haskell's latest incarnation of his Nightmare series of live action haunted houses.
Visitors to NIGHTMARE: SUPERSTITIONS enter a surreal insane asylum. The patients have voluntarily admitted themselves, seeking protection from the danger they perceive is awaiting them because they broke a superstition. They feel they’re safe behind padded walls, and that they can be set free if NIGHTMARE patrons break these superstitions and accept bad luck themselves. They have to…it's the only way out!
FUN HOUSE, a smaller, equally demented haunted attraction, is the second component of this year’s NIGHTMARE. Here, the inmates are truly running the asylum in a twisted carnival-style event that visitors walk through before they experience the main attraction.
NIGHTMARE: SUPERSTITIONS runs from September 24 through November 6.
I can't wait to see what's in store for this year. So what are the superstitions you'll have to face beside the insane mental patients scaring the bejesus out of you? Well Tim Haskell has revealed all 13 in the video below.
Think you can endure these superstitions? Care to challenge these curses? Brave enough to challenge these myths? Well here is your first one. Click on the video below!
So what superstitions are you scared of the most? Do you really believe in any? Could you endure 13 of em?
If you're in the NYC area, I think we all might have to try our luck. Nightmare: Superstitions opens up this Friday, September 24th!
The UK too can churn out its own versions of DHARMA Initiative "GENERIC LESBIAN VAMPIRE FILM". The perfect example is Temptation, which plays out like a bad modern day Anne Rice novel.
All the cliches are here and they follow a Macarena beat down to the super cliched very obvious ending.
If I wanted my fix of a lesbian vampire film, I'd watch anything from Jess Franco. But you've gotta cash in on the vampire craze which is still alive and kickin. True Blood, Let the Right One In, Daybreakers and *gasp* Twilight to keep you tuned into the 24/7 convenience store that is vampire. They should have read my Vampire Rules 101.
At least those all have clever premises. Temptation has hot British chicks with red contact lenses and plastic dollar bin fangs.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
Catherine Taylor's seductive and tantalizing vampire tale unleashes an onslaught of bloody killings, sexual excess and vampiric desire set against a lush, colorful London night life of swinging singles and nocturnal predators.Beautiful, young professional Isabel (Caroline Haines) is out on the town with friends. One too many is the least of her problems when she is saved from the clutches of a serial rapist by a centuries-old, ruthless but gorgeous vampire, Aurelie (Rachel Waters) - but at what cost.
Now under Aurelie's spell and with an intensifying taste for blood, Isabel has only 48 hours to decide whether to give in to her lustful and crimson cravings or end it all before it's too late. Temptation brings a fresh and new look to the vampire genre with atmosphere, sensuality and filmmaking bravado. Awesome Review-O-Matic
No extensive review here. Let's just list vampire cliches ok?
Our protagonist? Semi hot British blonde
Let's begin the movie at the end...then have a finale where we began the movie!
Cabbie on passenger rape violence
A French vampire with fiery red hair
Rapid fire music video edits and cuts
Flashbacks to things we just saw 2 minutes ago!
Vampire suckage
Dreams of the vamp who made you in 80s music video fade montages
Hmmm I can't seem to eat regular food and the sunlight hurts me...it must be that time of the month
Gratuitous black and white cop investigation
The douchebag boyfriend that becomes the first meal
Nightclubs with burlesque and over elaborate dance numbers
Hot, sexy vampire vixens making meals of the clientele
Flashback to 1700s vampire origins
More flashbacks to things we saw 1 minute ago!
More lesbian vampire nekkidness and kissing
Why is it nobody believes in vampires in vampire movies?
The old debate: should I be a vampire or get a spontaneous combustion tan?
Let's kill the vamp that sired me because I'm a "good vampire with a heart"
Look who's a vampire too supposed twist ending!
Temptation is generic as they come in this super duper sub sub sub genre of vampire films. I really can't get into the same old story.
I love the sub genre of vampire films but if you don't do anything different, you FAIL. This story has been done to death and either you twist the Bram Stoker's vamps into something creative or you make a zombie film.
Various quick cuts of boobies but none from our vampyro lesbos
WTF moment
Those flashbacks of things we saw 6 seconds ago The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
If you want to get your vampyro lesbos on, Temptation is your quick fix. It's now on DVD via Vicious Circle Films from Breaking Glass Pictures. What can I say? This is a movie that I didn't want to sink my teeth into. (classic cliche pun...thank you thank you)
Hey! Look at what we have here. The jaded viewer actually reads a book! Yes, I do read on occasion. I got this book for free for being a VIP after visiting Nightmare: Vampires, a haunted house in NYC.
So yes, it took me about 3 months to read a book. Well it was 400 pages so it was kind a long. But I'm glad I finished it. It's what you call a blockbuster action book. Pure Reading Rainbow, out of this world escapism at its best.
Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan co-wrote a solid novel, that easily reads from page to page and is filled with haunting visuals, NYC under attack from a deadly plague of vampirism and characters that are very real and very relatable.
The story is classic vamp noir. A plane lands in NYC unknown to the public that the Master, an ancient rogue vampire has set foot in NYC and unleashed the deadliest strain of a disease that has no cure. The vampires described are the non sparkly kind. Very reminiscent of the "Reapers" in Del Toro's Blade 2, they are demon-ish, their organs and innards become all squishy and reconfigured and they have "satin red eyes" and mandible mouths with stingers.
Bent on stopping this new undead army is Dr. Ephraim Goodweather of the CDC, his partner Nora and a mysterious old man named Abraham Setrakian who knows more about the Master and the upcoming plague.
It's a very Blade-like story, but I think the elements of the book that shined for me were the detailed passages about how individual New Yorkers experienced, coped and survived the outbreak. The back story of Setrakian is also compelling as is the family dynamic of Eph. But being a born and bred New Yorker, the descriptions of NYC are dead on. From Queens to Brooklyn to the Bronx, each description of the city were 100% accurate.
The Strain is the first of a trilogy, with The Fall due out this year and The Night External as the last chapter. If your looking to escape those sparkly vamps, priest vamps, tween vamps and vampires that may or may not be gay, then get infected by The Strain.
First, I'd like to thank Tim and Rebeca Haskell for allowing me and my friends Rene from EntertainingEvil.com and his wife to experience a hell of a ride yesterday. It may be 30 days before Halloween but I got my scare on early. If you've arrived on the jaded viewer for the first time because of my initial coverage of Nightmare: Vampires from the press area of the official site, this is the post you've been waiting for. This is where I share my thoughts, reactions and whimpers of the whole damn thing.
Let me say straight out, I'm not going to reveal "the scares" or the twists and turns of Nightmare because, well it would just ruin the entire damn thing for you. What I'll try to explain is the feel, the look and the wonder of why this is the best haunted house experience you'll get this year.
Nightmare: Vampires is a live action, ARG of horror nightmares come to life. It's an uber sensory overload that heightens your hearing, vision, smell, touch and taste. You will scream, shout, laugh and be utterly mesmerized by the brilliance of each and every room. This isn't your Twilight vamps looking for misguided love folks. This is your legendary bloodsuckers and mythos vampires, living and breathing right in front of your face. Believe me, it's not for the faint of heart. You know the old saying from Dawn of the Dead: "When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth". Well, that just describes this awesome haunted house in a nutshell.
Now in its sixth year and at a new location, NIGHTMARE’S fully immersive haunted house takes haunting to a whole new level. Get ready to play your part in NIGHTMARE: VAMPIRES, a unique haunted attraction that unfolds as an original horror story! Set in the Museum of Vampyric Artifacts (MoVa), the world's first vampire museum features antiquities related to vampires from the headlines, in the media and from around the world. However, when MoVa and everyone in it are attacked by blood-lusting maniacs, you won’t just be viewing the exhibits on display…you’ll be running from them! Witness the birth of a new vampire legend!
As the description above says, you enter the fictional MoVA, where you learn more about the legend of the vampyres. From then on, it's on. If you have a cross, it's time to put it on.
Each room is a sight to behold. I decided to go and walk slowly and admire each carefully crafted set. If you decide to go, I suggest you do the same. The props, scenery and displays of horrific memorabilia are works of art. You will have never seen anything like it before. Think Saw sets, Dario Argento backdrops and churches on LSD. You can tell that the Haskell and his entire crew detailed everything to the minutia so that each room had a different look and feel of horror bliss.
OK, I know you've been waiting for me to write what the scares are like. Well you're not going to get anything from me. Let me just say, part of the brilliance of Nightmare is that it doesn't matter if you decide to be the first one to enter the room or the last. You're going to get so frightened you'll bump into the stranger next to you as you stagger back into the arms of your significant other.
After the tour had ended, I got to talk to Tim Haskell and he feels like this is one of his best years for the haunted house. But he also added they have a motto for the actors and that's "Don't just scare the girls". And these professionals are equal opportunity scarers. I guarantee even the alpha male manliest man will get the shit scared out of him at least once. I'll admit I did. You never know when its coming and as I examined each and every part of the room, I once almost #2-ed into my pants.
That's not to say there isn't something funny about it all. I was making snarky remarks to my friends and to the group of strangers who were with us in our "tour group". I was even addressing my remarks to the maniacs, crazies, vamped up ravers and insane asylum prisoners hoping I'd get a reaction. (BTW, one of the rules is the actors can't touch you and vice versa). Note to self. Don't do that. You'll get more than you bargained for.
To get the whole experience, you have to cowboy up and be brave. Standing in the middle of the pack is going to be a letdown if you don't interact with what's in each room. The actors are very effective in their ninja skills, their sideshow carnival shows and their yelling and screaming. Only once did I get some dialogue from the show. In addition, darkness is your ultimate mortal enemy in Nightmares. In comes into play in some interesting ways from room to room.
But what separates this mature rated haunted house experience from the others is the story. Sure, other haunted houses may touch you or jump out in a hockey mask or even gross you out with live pig intestines but at the end of the day, a perfectly crafted story gets you wrapped up with whats going on. And its 1 billion times more effective when you're a participant in the story! That's the genius of Nightmares: Vampires. It really is like a live action alternate reality game where you play your part acting as pseudo"unfortunate teenagers" who must escape from the now chaotic museum.
I had never been to Tim Haskell's Nightmare haunted house before. I did hear about it but it's one of those things that if you're a New Yorker, you think you'll eventually go to sooner or later. I'm glad it was sooner. It can break the monotony of the week and is just as effective as watching a horror movie in Real 3D. The only difference is this 3D is living and breathing and getting your heart racing a million beats per second.
You are missing out if you don't partake in Nightmare: Vampires. If you're too scared too go, I'm sure if you dress up as Buffy or Van Helsing or Blade you'll be fine. Start carving your stakes, shining your silver and get your holy water ready. But please, leave the garlic at home.
The house opens on September 25th and runs to November 7th. It's located at the NOHO Event Center on 623 Broadway at Houston (enter on Mercer Street). Tickets are $30 (advance) or $35 at the door. More info here.
For more info head over to the official site. For some behind the scenes stuff, check out Tim Haskell's blog at iscareyou.com.
**If you decide to go...**
Getting the VIP tickets saves on time and the long line that's to be expected as we get closer to Halloween. Plus you get an awesome gift bag.
I went yesterday and got Guillermo Del Toro's vampire novel, The Strain!
Wow. That pictures worth a 1001 words. The first one that comes in my head is gushy.
Straight from the jaded viewer mailbox is something I was aware of but never actually went to. Every Halloween I hear of live walkthrough haunted houses in NYC where people go through a damn spooky ride where you get touched, see some crazy artistic yet mesmerizing scenery and get a total blend of gothic nights and scares.
This brings us to Timothy Haskell's Haunted House called Nightmare. This years theme is the ever popular Vampires. Though they seem far from the Twilight and Vampire Diaries and more of the bloodysucker and ripped throats. Yay.
From what I read and seen, Nightmare is an experience like no other. Truly psychological and bent on tapping into your worst fears, it seems like this year they are trying to make each and every participant feel like they are Lestat or Dracula's victims. I'm going to go this year and report back on this interactive scare-a-thon.
If you live in or around NYC, it seems like it's worth the effort. I'm sure as we get closer to Halloween, everybody will think of ways to get scared or scare others. Shouldn't we just have professionals do this for us?
Here's some videos to give you the heebee jeebees.
And some yummy, messy photos.
The house opens on September 25th and runs thru November 7th. It's located at the NOHO Event Center on 623 Broadway at Houston (enter on Mercer Street). Tickets are $30 (advance) or $35 at the door. More info here.
For more info head over to the official site. For some behind the scenes stuff, check out Timothy Haskell's blog at iscareyou.com.
I'll planning on going in the next few weeks so I'll let you know what's the what's what and I'm sure I'll let the right one in.
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