If you carefully read my reviews or features or whatever, I've come up with an inside joke or a running gag about the site. If somehow I ever got a quote from one of my REVIEWS on a DVD cover, I would immediately end the site.
So far this has not happened as of yet. The probability of this happening I think is around 30%. Not too good because A.) most of my reviews have profanity and B.) I really doubt I have any good quotes a company or filmmaker could use.
I'd like to point out I've come close. My quote appears on the DVD cover of Incest Death Squad. But the loophole here is that the quote is from my review of THE TRAILER and not the review. I also had a quote of mine in the trailer for Dead Hooker in a Trunk. Alas, this is in a trailer so that doesn't count either.
I'm thinking if a filmmaker or marketing company paid attention or *gasp* likes my site, they wouldn't want it to end and would thus never put a quote of mine on a DVD cover, but c'mon now, that's just silly. They don't even know about the gag....hmm until now. Well that's sorta contradictory of me right? I want to see my name and site quoted but I don't want to end the site. That's why this works on both levels...hehehe.
So which is why I'm adding more to the list of things that would lead to the site going atomic. If any of this happens, the jaded viewer would go bye bye.
If you're worried, trust me these things are not likely but could happen (yeah a few of em are preposterous, but whatever, it's funny no?)
10.) An actual apocalypse (aka the end of the world)
9.) Marriage (however if the wife to be was pro jaded viewer...it would keep the site alive!)
8.) A horror movie wins best picture at the Academy Awards
7.) I get a kiss from Sarah Michelle Gellar
6.) Both my arms get severed
5.) I win the lottery
4.) I reach 5,000 followers on Twitter
3.) I get to be a zombie in a Romero film
2.) I do a shot with Jean Claude Van Damme
1.) My quote appears on a DVD cover of a horror movie
Well now all of you are in on the joke. It's fun to share the gag. Now, only time will tell if any of these things ever happen. Until they do, the jaded viewer keeps on truckin.
**Hello fellow Redditors, it seems you are all curious of this haunted house that other haunted houses are afraid of. I'll be posting m...
**Hello fellow Redditors, it seems you are all curious of this haunted house that other haunted houses are afraid of. I'll be posting ...
With the remake of The Last House on the Left coming out today, I'd figure I'd get you noobs caught up on this subgenre of exploitat...
It's now a bicoastal phenomenon. When I first started writing these walkthroughs in 2010 and 2011 , they were more so therapy for m...
. . . **Hello fellow Redditors, it seems you are all curious of this haunted house that other haunted houses are afraid of. I'll ...
courtesy of Blackout Haunted House Well a lot has happened since I posted my 2011 review of Blackout Haunted House. Blackout made the f...
[This is just a review of Blackout Elements. A spoiler filled walkthrough will follow after the show's run ends.] Well if you'r...
I rarely cover comedies on the jaded viewer but having rewatched EuroTrip for like the 10th time because of Showtime, I have to make sure y...
"I'm being toyed with by a bunch of depraved children" - Nicholas Van Orton (The Game, 1997) PROLOGUE I've alw...
Mediatrix Mediatrix (2011) Directed by Cory Udler I'm pretty positive Cory Udler is not a big fan of organized religion. Udler, the...
- ► 2013 (41)
- ► 2012 (78)
- ► 2011 (156)
- Extraction (In Development Trailer)
- Rec 2 (Review)
- Charts and Graphs make funnies
- 10 things that would lead to a jaded viewer apocal...
- The Descent 2 (Review)
- The Horseman (Review)
- The Shortround: IFC Grindhouse Short Film Showcase...
- Hot girls in tight tank tops stranded in the deser...
- Incest Death Squad 2 (Premiere Date and its Free O...
- If You Had One Horror Genre Related Wish, What Wou...
- Temptation (Review)
- Don't burn Rubber or your head will explode!
- There is a 90% chance you will take a photo of a g...
- The Jaded Viewer is going to Victor Crowley countr...
- Get your kumbayaya's out! (BTVS Musical variations...
- ▼ June (15)
- ► 2009 (246)
- ► 2008 (178)
- ► 2007 (21)
2014 Haunted House Reviews
The WTF Lists
2006-2014 The Jaded Viewer. Powered by Blogger.