Monday, May 10, 2010

The WTF List: Iron Man 2

Oh let the summer popcorn flicks begin. Well, the first superhero movie of the year was Kick-Ass (which I absolutely loved). There will be plenty more robot action, but Iron Man 2 is solidly solid. I mean Robert Downey Jr. plays Tony Stark with a carefree douchebaggery, its fun fun fun. Add in Gywneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson as your eye candy (is it me or does Scarlett's boobies get bigger every movie?) and its smash em up, blow em up action.

So lets WTF with a list shall we?

1.) So do the youngins think Mickey Rourke is the guy from the Wrestler or the guy from Sin City? I think he's the guy from 9 1/2 weeks.
2.) Garry Shandling plays the dick, Jewish Senator.
3.) Why is it that a simple iPhone can crack into the Department of Defense?
4.) Tony Stark's basement is waaaaaay awesomer than the Batcave.
5.) We've got the anti-Stark Justin Hammer. He's not too much of an asshole...which he should be.
6.) Don Cheadle plays the black guy...because black guys in Hollywood are all Don Cheadles.
7.) Jeezus Scarlett, can you get more hotter?
8.) Well Whiplash vs Iron Man battle #1 was sorta yawn.
9.) My Iron Man knowledge is very limited. So is my Avengers knowledge.
10.) I thought Nick Fury was white, ran in slo mo and had a tan?
11.) Jeezus Scarlett, are you wearing leather? I'm going to need 10 minutes...brb.
12.) Iron Man vs War Machine was fun. Stark's house is getting all kinds of fucked up. I feel sorry for the contractor who's gonna have to do repairs.
13.) Everytime I see Iron Man, I think the Sabbath song"I am Iron Man" theme song is gonna play.
14.) Can you believe the Stark Expo is a few stops away from my apartment?
15.) I swear to God, if Iron Man fucks up Citi Field in any way, I'm going to call 911.
16.) OK let me tell you that I know the layout of Flushing Meadow Park and right now the globe, the circular steel structure and the MIB saucer thingies are not as awesome as you'd think they are close up.
17.) Lots of shit is getting blown up....lots of blast beams and lots of gunfire. It's like Baltimore.
18.) Oh did Tony Stark make a gay reference to Captain America...oh yes he did!
19.) Whiplash still sucks in Iron Man vs Whilpash battle #2
20.) Fuck, I missed the scene at the end of the credits...somebody please post this on YouTube ASAP.

OK to conclude, Tony Stark is a douche, Scarlett Johansson is yummy, Whiplash has a bad Russian accent for someone who is Russian, Citi Field remained intact and we are probably going to get an Avengers movie.

Now go see IM2 and get your robot suit porn action on.

3 comments:

  1. sooooo, did you like it... or not...
    great wtf - list!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great blog! I would like to contact you in regards to a business opportunity. Send me a ping at Tim@Metacafe.com and we can kick things off :)

    Hope to hear from you,

    Tim Jones
    Community Manager
    Metacafe.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. You must have DL'ed the same file as me. LOL.

    ReplyDelete