Reaper's Revenge Haunted House (Review)

I thought I was done with my haunted house road trips. In total, I've been to 7 already this month. But  when opportunity arises to go to 1 more, who am I to say no?

So I found myself near Scranton, PA and with family in tow I dragged them to a haunt that touts itself as America's Best Haunted Attraction. It's a bold strategy Cotton let's see if it pays off for them. And does it?  After going to Reaper's Revenge, it kinda does.

Reaper's Revenge packs a formidable punch in the 4 attractions that it offers. It's a mish mash of a solid haunted hayride, an outdoor maze fool of mischievous carnies and killer clowns, a pitch black maze that seemed to have no end and a quarantine zone that was stellarly executed. Some of the attractions were perfectly executed, others were not but not without the crew trying to make it work which I'll get to.

Overall Reaper's Revenge was a jam packed hour and half of solid haunts mixing in minimalistic creepy with high tech Hollywood special effects. You get a good snack size sampling of all of them for a $35 admission. There's a bon fire and stage as you wait or hang out and you'll be outdoors for most if it. I'll admit I was pleasantly surprised that this haunt seemingly around Scranton used the deep woods to scare the shit out people.

The Haunted Hayride

Reaper's Revenge is one of those rare haunts that forces you to go to each haunt one after the other. You don't get to choose which haunt you go to first or last. You'll pack into a haunted hayride and be with this group as you go along. The hayride was filled with horror monster cameos from a Jason Voorhees, Samara from The Ring and Michael Myers. They offer an option of either being touched or not be touched through all the attractions. If you're a big fat pussy, you can opt to wear a neon green glow in the dark necklace. This necklace seemed to complete the outfit of tween girls wearing Harry Potter scarves and Uggs.

However if you Survivor Up! you'll have the actors get really up close and personal, using chainsaws and jump scaring you as they Ninja up from their hiding places. It seems you can even get them to do your bidding as had my nephew almost get carried away by a chainsaw wielding maniac. There's some good high flying acts during the hayride which is split in 2 (you start off in the hayride and the continue it after you go through the carnival on your way to pitch black). You'll get your standard zombies and moonshine inbred rednecks (I hope they were actually actors, but fuck it's PA right?) Also a few well timed scares like a big ass spider were fuckin awesome.

Lost Carnival

This is a good outdoor maze that utilizes the woods to it's full effect. You'll go through some spooky visuals like roller coasters and a clown fun house. There's a carnival aspect with some potential games to play that come with some sarcastic carnies and some unexpected surprises. There were lots of scares and obstacles I wasn't expecting that even got a hardcore haunted house veteran like myself got me jumping. Even some twins had me singing along. Good stuff.


Pitch Black

I was hoping this would be executed with some nuance awesomeness. However, it seems getting a Saturday crowd through all these attractions, you'll sometimes sacrifice terror for efficiency. Pitch Black is an indoor maze where you'll walk through pitch black darkness. There's a few props  and some actors that will touch you getting you to shiver and scream. But as I went in, we were packed in like cattle and could barely walk through this traffic jam. The staff seemed like they were separating the groups to get people more breathing room but it just didn't work. Good idea, badly executed.

Sector 13

I'll admit. This was probably the best of the mazes at Reaper's Revenge. It's got a good theme (quarantined patrons with infected) and as an outdoor maze the sets and props were well fuckin done.  I think the Ebola jokes were already on peoples minds. Soldiers start you off and mad doctors do a quick check up (I got picked for an unneeded injection). You'll see soldiers patrolling and occupied beds of the infected who seem to have turned into mutant monsters. Good scares come out of all the rooms and from unexpected places. Oh could we be far off from Sector 13 these days?

Final Thoughts

Reaper's Revenge is a gem of a haunted attraction that seems to hit all the common fears we all have. Darkness, clowns, sickness and the horror icons we all few up watching. Packaged into 4 successive haunts, you'll definitely get all your scares and fun in less than 2 hours. I was kind of impressed by it all. is it America's best?  I guess you be the judge.


The Vitals

• The official site
• Like on Facebook
• Follow on Twitter
• Reaper's Revenge is at 460 Green Grove Rd Olyphant, PA 18447
• Tickets are $35, Fast Pass Tix are $25
• More pictures at The Jaded Viewer Facebook Page

Categories: halloween, happy halloween, haunted hayride, haunted house, haunted house reviews, pennsylvania, quarantine, reapers revenge, rednecks, zombies

Waldorf Estate of FEAR Haunted House (Review)

The final leg of the Pennsylvania Haunted House road trip with The Jaded Viewer and The Raven and Black Cat took us to The Waldorf Estate of Fear aka The Haunting at the Waldorf. Located at Lehighton, PA, it's hard to gauge what a haunt will be like as you first enter. Everything looks like a county fair in the middle of nowhere. The drive over to the Waldorf was filled with backroads and endless cornfields and as all our phones began to die, a real life horror movie plot was peeking its head.

But as haunt veterans, we've done this before and with an hour to spare, we got our haunt on.

The Waldorf Estate of Fear is a horror trilogy of terror with each unique experience bringing in adrenaline pumping scares with zombies, a relaxed prepackaged haunted hayride and a hotel turned haunted house that has style and substance all wrapped in one. I had mild expectations for the Waldorf and after, it literally blew my mind. The attractions are, simply put top notch for an indie haunted house production.

You can do a lot with less and Waldorf does just that. So here's a quick review of each attraction.

Terror in the Corn

There are super awesome haunted hayrides and then there is your hayrides that are nicely produced but don't pack a WOW factor. Waldorf's hayride has some nice touches (a cameo from your favorite hockey mask wearing, machete wielding maniac) and scenes with damsels getting distressed. However, actors who scream at the top of their lungs is kind of irritating. The barn stops were standard fare and overall could keep tweens happy. I just wish it was amped up with more of the crazy.


Infection

Infection is one of the reasons you HAVE to go to Waldorf. It's a outdoor maze with a twist. You're given a belt with 3 straps on them representing your viral organs and have to dodge, dip, dive, duck, and dodge all sorts of minimum waged teenage zombies. In a nutshell, its zombie flag football. Infection is an interactive Walking Dead homage that got me panicking and out of breath in the midst of this zombie gridiron. You'll be face planting into the ground and tripping over obstacles as you try to escape these Dawn of the Dead remake zombies. And they're relentless. Goddamn kids seem to what to take your flags at all costs. Lucky for me, I survived barely. With 1 flag left. Good shit. Fuckin really good shit.

The Haunting at the Waldorf

Greeted by James Cudie a British demon host whose sarcasm and one liners were a great way to start the haunt, the Haunting at the Waldorf is a minimalistic haunt that walks you through the many ghouls and ghosts and other random dead people at the Waldorf. It's pretty brilliant with what you can do with the remnants of an actual hotel, from old 70s furniture to wine racks to an actual hotel lobby. As you maneuver through the tight spaces, crawl on all fours through hidden passages and go up stairs each room gives off a sense of creepy and Shining like madness.

The actors play a mix of offbeat ghosts guiding you through a story as you check in. My favorite was going to the restaurant as the angry "ghosts" play on being welcoming then demeaning. Good times.

It's a great little maze, a haunted house that takes its time to get its jump scares and ends with some questionable content.

The Waldorf Estate of Fear is a little gem hidden in the cornfields of Pennsylvania. They go through the whole 9 yards to maximize your experience and had me talking about it hours after going through.

And i think they even offered pirogues to eat.

Now that's a DIY haunted house.

The Vitals

• Official Site
• Like on Facebook 
• Follow in Twitter
• Click here to buy Tickets
• Waldorf Estate of Fear is located at 6325 Interchange RdLehighton, PA 18235
• More pictures at The Jaded Viewer Facebook page

Check out the trailer

  hauntcomm4 from Stephen Cognetti on Vimeo.

Categories: fast moving zombies, halloween, haunted hayride, haunted house, haunted house reviews, insane asylum, pennsylvania, the haunting at the waldorf, waldorf estate of fear, zombies

Field of Screams Haunted House (Review)

There is nothing like going on a haunted house road trip with some haunted house veterans.  That was the case last weekend when I headed to Pennsylvania with the crew of The Raven and Black Cat to partake in a double dose of haunted house goodness. The first stop was Field of Screams in Lancaster, PA. 

Having been on many top haunted house lists, Field of Screams sits on a quaint American town where Main Streets seem to be Leave it to Beaver-esque. But in the middle of suburban homes sits a collection of haunted houses, food stands and a stage that made me tweet this:

@fieldofscream has 4 killer #HauntedHouses and freestyle rap battles! I don't know which was more terrifying! #HauntedHouse #Halloween
— the jaded viewer (@jadedviewer) October 5, 2014

Yes jaded viewers. They had 8 Mile like freestyle rap battles with Eminem wannabes going head to head. Now that's some quality fuckin entertainment. But I digress.

If that doesn't get you to go, the haunts were all unique in their own ways. Field of Screams is a carnival of wickedness, where each haunted house is a living horror movie and you get to flip the channel to whatever you're in the mood for. Wanna see some lunatics in an asylum or take a casual hayride to hell? Field of Screams offers diversity and some fun carnie games to boot. It's a Disneyland for the unstable, offering terrors and screams, think Mickeys armed with machetes.

Solid maze filled with all sorts of decaying death and actors looking to get in your face for those we'll timed jump scares. The sets were top notch and actors at the ready to sneak up on you with serious ninja skills. I didn't think I'd be touched but I felt my hair standing tall not from fear. Good shit.

Frightmare Asylum

Solid walkthrough of an asylum filled with hospital malaise and medical malpractice. The smells and tight spaces get you knee deep into a feeling dread and nervousness. Gotta love body bags and wrapped up dead bodies hanging. Also a nice twist of crawling through some darkness where I lost my way a few times had me nervously trying to bring up my inner GPS. Good times.

Haunted Hayride

I've been to other haunted hayrides but the one at Field of Screams is probably the best one I've been to. The barn stops seem to go from super awesome to yawn then to super awesome but overall they had a few twists that I've never seen from a hayride before. Some crashing gates and a retracting pork were nice touches. But the hayride is really for people watching and seeing little tween girls scream they are "having heart palpitations" made it way more enjoyable. I even saw1 little girl be braver than the pumpkin latte tweens and asking her mom "that's it?"

Nocturnal Wasteland

The last haunt we went to was an outdoor trail seemed to be filled with props that didn't make the cut. A few twists and turns, but nothing I'm writing Wes Craven about. Good props from ambulances and buses and actors that braved the weather to get their scares in.

The attractions are designed to be interactive and I was hoping to get some sass back from the actors but clearly the kids are running the asylum on minimum wage. You also sense a sequel (going again) might not be necessary as replaybility for these haunts is about A 3.

All in all Field of Screams is worth the trip as the kids, tweens and teens won't be disappointed to get their Halloween on with some great mazes while eating some BBQ pork sandwiches and fried oreos. Even the adults are in for a treat. It's a pre-packaged Halloween world in a normal quiet American town.

Halloween in America right off the shelf. 

The Vitals

• Official Site
• Like on Facebook
• Follow in Twitter
• Click here to buy Tickets
• Field of Screams is located at 101 College Avenue, Mountville, PA 17554
• More pictures at The Jaded Viewer Facebook page

Check out the trailer

Categories: field of screams, field of screams review, halloween, haunt douse reviews, haunted hayride, haunted house, insane asylum, pennsylvania, zombies

Adventureland's Nightmare on the Midway (Review)

To find the the very best haunted houses in New York, you sometimes have to venture away from the city. I've been stuck within the city limits, but with the help of The Raven and Black Cat and Survivor Bailey Squared we all jam-packed into a car and road tripped to the various haunts of Long Island. Our first stop was Jesse Eisenberg approved, Adventureland's Nightmare on the Midway and if you're looking for a place to take the kids, this is it.

The Long Island staple of amusement parks Adventureland is rich with nostalgia and oozes of summertime throwback fun. Adventureland is trying their luck with Nightmare and for a family friendly Halloween adventure, it's pretty solid. This month it as has been turned into a spooky Halloween attraction complete with monsters running amock and rides to be ridden in the pale moonlight. And they do have some haunted houses to get your fright on.

After sundown, you'll get to go to a zombie themed maze, "Zombie Asylum" which is a quick romp with screaming actors and an Addams family approved props ranging from wired gates keeping the costumed undead away.  It's as PG-13 as you can get and the tweenagers should be happy with their walk through. Teenagers may have attitude as they get accosted by other teenagers looking to scare them. Lots of screaming by both parties.

A haunted train ride which probably in the daytime is innocent is turned into something the kids who need to get their hayride fix in may enjoy. The train takes you all over the mini me park and slows down as stealthy actors in a variety of costumes and make and even one in a military style grass camouflage BOO you during the ride. The train passes a few stationary settings with Spencer Gifts props and animatronics but it's the actors that do their best to make it work. "S" from RABC, suggested there should be a tour guide who possibly could give you a story to what you'll encounter. I highly agree. A guide would distract from the actors ready to pop up for the jump scare.

Finally, we encountered a ride that made inner kid me smile. An old school Haunted Mansion like ride-a-long that has you encountering old school animatronics mixed in with some digital tech and packed with Universal monsters from Dracs to mummies. Good stuff. I love Disney like rides and with the ride a passenger for two, tweens will probably like it more.

Adventureland is trying something new and they are off to a good start. They've been adapting as they go along and have already made a few changes to make it all a good time for the Halloween starved Islanders and city folk who road trip out there. To compete in the multi million dollar Halloween haunted house industry in October, you really do need to stand out from the rest. I would highly suggest they take their namesake and milk the fact a movie with zombies in it took place in something similar. Wouldn't you want to go to a working Zombieland attraction? I would.

Nightmare on the Midway is a solid Halloween attraction for families, tweens and those high octane millennials. Riding a roller coaster at night with Jason Voorhees stalking you in is great (this happened!), a few mazes for your jump scares and old school rides that make you all nostalgic.  For a packaged price, the rides and Halloween themed attractions are hard to resist.

Now if we get a few more zombies chasing me around the park, I'd be happy as Carl when got his gun back from Rick in the last episode of The Waling Dead.

The Vitals

• The official site
• Like Adventureland Nightmare on the Midway on Facebook
• Follow on Twitter with the hashtag #ALandNOTM
• Nightmare on the Midway is now open. The park is located at: 2245 Broad Hollow Road (RT. 110) Farmingdale, NY 11735
• You can purchase tickets on the official site.

Categories: adventureland, halloween, happy halloween, haunted house, long island, new york city, zombieland, zombies

The Last of Us is actually one of the best HORROR MOVIES of 2013

When I put Naughty Dog's The Last of Us as one of the best MOVIES of 2013 on my Top 10 list, don't laugh at me OK? It really is a cinematic masterpiece when you separate the fact that it's a video game. The setting (post fungi apocalyptic America), the characters (Joel and Ellie are the video game version of Dad and Son from The Road) and the plot which is filled with twists and turns and just pure WTF.

It really is without a doubt one of the best stories to revolve around the survival horror genre.I've played the game and finished it and I was blown away by the emotional roller coaster it took me on. Video games in reality actually force you to put more of your emotions because YOU are actually playing that character.

In doing so, you actually start directing your action sequences to how you want, something a movie could never do. But we're not here to debate movies vs video games. What I will say is that when just the cinematic cut scenes are solid enough to warrant a YouTube full movie cut, it says a lot in that the cut scenes alone can make you care about the characters, intrigue you about the plot and have their fair share of scares.

With any horror movie, you need the BIG BAD> There are actually two enemies in The Last of Us. The last remnants of humanity who have turned into scavenging and stalker as well as The Fireflies, a group looking to stop the epidemic at all costs. Stalkers, Clickers  and Bloaters are dangerous as the infection evolves. The infected make zombies look like a walk in the park.

The performances (done via motion capture) are pretty superb starring Troy Baker as Joel and Ashley Johnson as Ellie. Motion capture is close to acting in a video game as acting in front of a green screen.

Of course this "movie" has only been experienced by only a few Playstation 3 gamers, so the level of exposure is limited than say a conventional movie. But the acclaim the game has gotten has been absurdly positive with making gamers "cry" and just having been gut punched into the stomach in some scenes.

The brutality of the kills by Joel and Ellie makes it pure survival horror and even if you die in the game, it wallops you with some serious game over carnage.

So here is a YouTube version "movie" with all the cutscenes. Sure it's 3 hours (I mean its scenes from a video game with over 10 hours of gameplay mind you) You may be able to get an idea of what it's about, the characters, the plot and some action. Some of the story and dialogue are told while you play so it can't capture that. But it is indeed a great cinematic masterpiece of 2013. A movie that could only been told in a game, rich in a landscape of nature reclaiming America and the morality humanity must hold on to in the most dire of circumstances.

The Last of Us is one of the best horror movies of 2013. And I'm not budging from that statement.



Have you played The Last of Us? Do you think it stacks up against even the best horror movies this year? Sound off and let me know!

Categories: Apocalypse, playstation 3, post apocalyptic, the last of us, the road, video game movies, zombies

[Rec] 3 Genesis (Review)

[Rec] 3 Genesis

[Rec] 3 Genesis (2012)

Directed by Paco Plaza

Talk about a knight in shining armor and a chainsaw wedding.

Welcome to Rec 3.

I've watched the Rec series and oddly enough I've reviewed the first 2 flicks differently. Rec I gave 2 spinkicks while I gave Rec 2 3 spinkicks. With Rec 3, I'll admit the trailer had me intrigued. Zombie virus walker chaos at a wedding? Sounds like fun. And that's what Rec 3 Genesis is. Cliched, over the top splatterfest comedic fun, nothing more, nothing less.

The fact that Paco Plaza and Jaume Balaguero have split directorial duties is interesting here. With Plaza's entry we get a some gore soaked splattery AND ridiculousness that is far from the world of the serious horror of the first two. The fact that it is different and has a more horror-omedy tone is refreshing. The one thing you don't want in your series is to NOT be repetitive (See Saw). I'm pretty sure Rec was turning into the Spanish equivalent of that and I'm glad Plaza goes into some chaotic horror funnies.

But it's still cliched, generic and nothing new to the infected corpse genre. It also adds a new explanation to the mythos which I kinda didn't care for. But what I did love was a movie that utilized the shaky cam, cinema verite, 1st person POV in a way that felt natural and in the big twist of Rec 3, Plaza goes back to showing us a movie in a traditional way. Put away those barf bags.

Rec 3 Genesis is a movie refreshing enough to spike the reception's punch bowl but sometimes you want the hard stuff. It's a delicate balance that plays off in a way where at the end of the day you want to be entertained and it does just that.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A couple's wedding day turns into a horrific events as some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness. 

Awesome Review-O-Matic

As I always do, let's start off with what the formula for shot on video, POV horror films.

1.) The camera "person" films everything
2.) His friends become part of the video
3.) Something sinister starts to scare them
4.) The film ends with "the final shot" that gets the audience shocked

1.) The camera "person" films everything

It may be the longest opening scene before the credits but at 20 minutes and the climactic shit hitting the fan, it really does set up. We see Koldo (our groom) and Clara (the bride) go through their nuptials before they head off to their reception with their families. Various characters are introduced from both respective families but drunk uncle is taken to a a whole new level and all hell breaks loose.

Koldo's cousin records everything with his HD cam while a Guillermo del Toro lookalike (from Filmmax, a hidden joke) is the videographer. As the couple splits up amid the chaos we're left with a rag tag group including "Royalties" a guest who records songs that break copyrights.

2.) His friends become part of the video

With their friends and families fleeing from the carnage, we meet a variety of Koldo's and Clara's friends but not for long. It's fun to see the douchebaggy friends, Clara's French slut friend and grandparents. We don't get to know them that well but long enough to see who starts to be the people we really should applaud when they get decapitated.

3.) Something sinister starts to scare them

Well scare wouldn't be exactly what they're doing. More like chasing after the guests like they're turkeys on legs. Mass chaos and pure splatter moments are had as necks are ripped, heads are chainsawed, swords get squishy into various body parts and all sorts of mayhem ensues.

They're are some hilarious moments as Koldo goes into knight in shining armor mode literally. He dons a Ezio Auditore outfit and does his best Assassins Creed impression. Our bride makes chainsaws sexy and does some carving of her own.

Somewhere in the movie, priests utter Bible verses and it seems the infected are more religious than we first imagined. It's these religious overtones that play a big part in the escape. I'm not sure why Plaza added this in, but I felt like it didn't really work. We got hints of it in the first 2 Recs but it was full blown here and the mystery of the infected seem to disappear.

But clearly the fun is in the reunion between man and wife and Koldo and Clara kick ass as you know, love conquers all.... 

4.) The film ends with "the final shot" that gets the audience shocked

Which leads us to a helluva ending. I'm not going to say anything about it but it's pretty shocking and crazy WTF moment.

***********************************************

Rec 3 is clearly the lull before the storm. I'm hoping  Jaume Balaguero will go all out crazy with Rec Apocalypse to end this series on a good note. Most horror fans, bloggers and critics are caught in the middle with Rec 3 as it pulls into a totally different direction than the first 2. But you have to admit, from the traditional filmmaking and the POV mixed in and a wedding day that you won't soon forget it really does pack some line dancing hilarity and oozes kegs of blood.

I think the fun in Rec 3 is mixing those two together and somehow the series feels Rec-ish but has something new to offer. At 120 minutes, it's not like we had scenes of drawn out nothingness. Everything in Rec 3 is paced with some scares and funions, the acting is delightful and the gore and splatter are plentiful.

What's not to like? Thank goodness they didn't start dancing Gangnam Style. I would have just shut the movie off right then and there.

 The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I got the jokes, the kills were solid and I may mimic that wedding one day. Thanks Rec 3.

Rating:

Check out the trailer below.

Categories: [rec], 2012 horror movies, cinema verite, gore, pov horror, rec, rec 2, rec review, spanish horror, splatter, zombies

The Dead (Review)

The Dead

The Dead (2010)

Directed by The Ford Brothers

I wrote a list last year of my The Remaining Best of the Rest Horror Movies of 2011. I had only seen 3 movies on that list and now I've seen my 4th. The Dead was #6 on that list and I figured it had the making of a classic zombie film.

I wasn't wrong.

The zombie craze has died down a bit (we still have The Walking Dead thank the Universe) and so this hit my radar in a big way. It's a film that has shades of Cannibal Holocaust mixed in with Lucio Fulci's Zombie 2 and a tad of Day of the Dead. Shot on 35mm, it really has a look of a film discovered from the 70s or 80s. And it that way it honors the past of the essence of a zombie film. Slowly decaying reanimated corpses, slow moving hordes of the undead, bright blue eyes of the infected and the craving of living flesh.

It's the roots of a zombie film and it's awesome. The African setting is a sight to behold. The scenery, the cinematography can't be duplicated. The grittiness, the sweltering heat, the jagged mountain formations and the never ending desert are sights to behold.

Sure the story was rather pedestrian, the action scenes generic but the feel of zombie madness is ever present. You feel like your in danger in the pitch darkness as is our main character and it's all about survival, not jokes. The reality of The Dead is that you only can think about one thing: survival.

It's the zombie film that countless others have tried to make but failed. This isn't your Resident Evil zombie film. It's a "no more room in hell" one.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

When the last evacuation flight out of war-torn Africa crashes off the coast, American Air Force Engineer Lieutenant Brian Murphy (ROB FREEMAN) emerges as the sole survivor in a land where the dead are returning to life and attacking the living. 

On the run in a hostile and inhospitable parched landscape, where sudden death lurks around every sun-burnished corner, Murphy has to use his wits and ingenuity if he is to get home alive to his family. When Murphys path clashes with that of Sergeant Daniel Dembele (PRINCE DAVID OSEI), whose village has been torn apart by the reanimated dead, they join forces. 

The two desperate men from two very different cultures fight side by side to survive across the incredible vistas of Africa as the world succumbs to the deadliest of viruses. 

Awesome Review-O-Matic

From the opening scene to the last, it seems our mercenary mechanic Brian Murphy is always in danger. Every successive scene seems to have zombie danger. From crash landing on to the beach, BOOM! zombies on the attack. Zombies in the jungle, zombies in the villages, crazy zombies all over the place. Armed with a gun and nothing else, our trust Macgyver is able to get a car running in the sweltering heat.
He soon meets up with  Sgt. Daniel, a AWOL soldier who is looking for his son. They team up and look out for each other in this new hell. What The Dead does is a bit different in your typical zombie movie team up. Nobody becomes super buddies. It's a more serious tone, jokes are a rarity. Both Brian and Dan know that the land is full of potential hazards and they gotta keep on their toes.

The two kick ass elements of The Dead are surely the scenery and the zombie kills. The rural landscape of this Africa is where no zombie movie has gone before. Zombies in cities, on farms. We've seen it. Seeing zombies in that Fulci island sorta way is taking it back to its roots. Zombies on beaches, zombies on dirt roads, zombies in the dead of night with those ominous blue eyes. That's some spooky, suspenseful shit.

At one point our duo go to an abandoned air field and Brian investigates a tunnel in a hanger. It's an effective scene. As they bring back gas for their car in the middle of the night, they both are throttled by hungry flesh eaters, many in different forms. Legless zombies, armless zombies.

Which brings us to the kills. Sarge Daniel is armed with an M4 and a machete and he knows how to use the fuckin Machte like Treach from Naughty by Nature. Decaps, arm caps, you name it. From what I can tell, we get our kills o'natural. Less CGI which made me happy. Sure the standard gunshot to the heads are there but it had that Zombie 2 feel to most of the kills.

The personalities of both Brian and Daniel are plain, but there logic echoed my own. At one point Daniel sets up a string can detection system. In another Brian sleeps in a tree. It makes sense and I'm glad the Ford Bros made it a point to put that in there.

Clearly there is a point of African war theme here. It seems tribal factions have stopped fighting in order to unite to fight the common enemy, the undead. The theme of family, sense of identity and survival are all present as well but don't become to preachy.

The Dead is a throwback to the vintage undiluted zombie apocalypse movies of old. African zombies are actually a new twist to the cluttered world of the genre but proves quite effective. We've seen the  Resident Evil game have a version within Africa as a setting but in a movie it makes it feel all the more gritty and hostile.

The movie is indeed short on story, developed characters and thrilling WTF awesome action scenes. But it makes up for it in a landscape of beautiful cinematography where this safari is no longer one inhabited by animals, but of the dead. A movie that can take the genre back to why I love Fulci gives me hope. And oddly enough, that was the message it tried to echo at the end.

Gore-ipedia

Zombie kills galore
Headshots
Bodyshots
Machete mutilation
Hit and run trauma
Tire head trauma

WTF moment
Somebody dies in the most stupid way that got me going WTF

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Dead is quite effective to making me reminisce about the golden age of B-movie zombie films. It's not at the tier of Zombie 2 or Dawn/Day but it never dumbs it down for the audience. It's seriousness made it all the more terrifying. In the end, it's a survival movie and one that can be called a cult classic in the making.

The Dead is out on Blu-Ray and DVD.

Rating:

Categories: 2012 horror movies, lucio fulci, the dead, western zombie horror, zombie, zombie 2, zombies

They made what into what? Re-Animator: The Musical

As a horror blogger, you get all sorts of press releases, screeners, newsletters and tidbits. I read through them as much as I can but I usually tweet or Facebook it if I find it interesting. To make it into a post on the jaded viewer takes some OMG WTF type reaction from me. Hence here we are.

They made Stuart Gordon's Re-Animator into a musical?

WTF!

That's just plain awesome. I plan on seeing this AS-fuckin-P. It smells of pure Miskatonic hijinks and LOL musical numbers. Here be the official press release.

RE-ANIMATOR THE MUSICAL comes to NYC, July 17 - 22 - Featuring George Wendt! 


RE-ANIMATOR THE MUSICAL Featuring GEORGE WENDT (“Cheers”, Broadway's Elf) Exclusively at The New York Musical Theater Festival, July 17 – July 22 PTC Performance Space 555 West 42nd Street, New York, NY The acclaimed musical adaptation of cult film comes to New York following a sold-out six-month run in Los Angeles Winner of Six L.A. Weekly Awards Book – Dennis Paoli, Stuart Gordon, and William J. Norris Music and Lyrics – Mark Nutter Choreographer – Cynthia Carle Musical Director – Peter Adams Director – Stuart Gordon (director of the iconic 1985 horror film H.P. Lovecraft’s Re-Animator) New York Premiere Tuesday, July 17th at 8:00 pm


The 2012 New York Musical Theatre Festival, Red Hen Productions, The Schramm Group LLC and Gramily Entertainment present the New York premiere of RE-ANIMATOR THE MUSICAL starring George Wendt (“Cheers”, Broadway’s Elf).


A hilarious new musical comedy based on the classic horror film (and featuring a bloody “splash zone” in the first few rows), RE-ANIMATOR THE MUSICAL plays at the PTC Performance Space, located at 555 West 42nd Street. Tickets for RE-ANIMATOR THE MUSICAL are $25, a can be purchased by calling (212) 352-3101 or by visiting www.nymf.org. For more information:www.nymf.org and www.reanimatorthemusical.com.


In 1985, Stuart Gordon directed his first feature film and created a sensation with H.P. Lovecraft’s Re-Animator. Produced by Brian Yuzna, the cult classic delivered as many laughs as it did screams, making it a cult classic among genre fans and winning a Critic’s Prize at the Cannes Film Festival. Last year, Gordon, co-writers Dennis Paoli and William J. Norris, and composer/lyricist Mark Nutter adapted Re-Animator into a musical for the stage, playing to rave reviews for a sold-out six month run in Los Angeles - and winning six LA Weekly Awards, including Musical of the Year.

RE-ANIMATOR THE MUSICAL tells the story of Herbert West, a brilliant young medical student who has created a glowing green serum that can bring the dead back to life. What should be a medical breakthrough results in hideous monstrosities and ghastly consequences. “I guess he just wasn’t fresh enough,” is West’s constant refrain as his quest for fresh subjects results in the murders of half the faculty of the medical school. 

The original Los Angeles cast reteams for the NYMF production. George Wendt, best-known as the affable Norm from Cheers, plays the Dean of the Medical School who West transforms into a mindless zombie. Chris L. McKenna, the star of Gordon’s neo-noir thriller King of the Ants, is Dan Cain, Herbert’s hapless roommate who finds himself drawn into the mayhem. And operatic Jesse Merlin, who played the President of the United States in the long running The Beastly Bombing, is Dr. Carl Hill who loses his head for Meg, the dean’s beautiful daughter (Rachel Avery,) only to actually lose it at the hands of Herbert West. But thanks to the glowing re-agent, Dr. Hill is still able to take his curtain call with his head tucked underneath his arm. Completing the cast are Mark Beltzman, Cynthia Carle, Brian Gillespie, Marlon Grace and Liesel Hanson, Tyler Milliron, and featuring Graham Skipper as Herbert West.


Winning the LA Drama Critics Circle Award for their work on the show, the musical's special effects team is the same as the 1985 movie's: Tony Doublin, John Naulin, and John Buechler - joined by Greg McDougal and Tom Devlin. And the blood will flow so freely that the first few rows will be designated as a “splash zone.” Laura Fine Hawkes, who last designed The Lieutenant of Inishmore at the Taper Theater in Los Angeles, provides the sets, with costumes by Joe Kucharski and lighting by Jeff Ravitz. Stage managing is Mike Lemek.


Composer and lyricist Mark Nutter won a LA Drama Critics Circle Award for RE-ANIMATOR THE MUSICAL's cheerfully disturbing score. His previous stage credits include the international hit The Bicycle Men; Christmas Smackdown (created with the equally demented Cynthia Carle); and Wild Men. He’s also known for his work on 3rd Rock From the Sun and Saturday Night Live. His recent CD Twisted Songs for Twisted Sophisticates has been banned from the airwaves.


Stuart Gordon directs. Prior to the Re-Animator movie, he spent fifteen years as the founder and artistic director of the Organic Theater of Chicago, where he co-created and directed 37 original productions, including Bleacher Bums and the world premiere of David Mamet’s Sexual Perversity in Chicago. Gordon has also directed four more films based on Lovecraft, among them the critically-acclaimed From Beyond and Dagon. Gordon’s most recent stage credits include the still-running Nevermore: An Evening with Edgar Allan Poe, featuring a breathtaking performance from Re-Animator film star Jeffrey Combs.


Now in its ninth year, the New York Musical Theatre Festival (NYMF) is the largest annual musical theatre event in America and is widely regarded as the essential source for new material and talent discovery. NYMF provides a launching pad for the next generation of musicals and their creators to ensure the continued vitality of one of America's greatest art forms. Hailed as the "Sundance of Musical Theatre," NYMF discovers, nurtures, and promotes promising musical theatre artists and producers at all stages of development, and inspires a diverse audience through vibrant, accessible, powerful new work.

*******************************************************************

Check out the trailer.

Thoughts? Comments? Who wants to see this?

Categories: 1980s horror, broadway, musical, reanimator, stuart gordon, zombies

The Cabin in the Woods (Review)

The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Directed by Drew Goddard
Written by Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon

The Cabin in the Woods was suppose to come out on February 5th 2010. It didn't. The poster and trailer were released December of last year. We had to wait 2+ years for this to come out. As a hoarder and fanboy of all that is Whedon, I was getting annoyed and was losing any hope that this movie was ever going to be released. They delayed it to 3D it. Joss and Drew cried foul. Would we ever see this???

And yes we all would. But as April 13th approached, I knew Cabin would be my must see movie of the year. I was having Whedon withdrawal and even though he was giving us Avengers, it was mainstream Joss. With CITW, we were getting vintage Joss. Teamed with Drew Goddard (a Buffy/Angel alum writer/director) we were going to get the answer to that age old question...

"What would happen if Joss Whedon (and Drew Goddard) wrote a horror movie?"

And beyond my wildest expectations, The Cabin in the Woods is the best horror movie of 2012. To go even further, it probably is the best horror comedy of the last 10 years. My fellow jaded viewers, CITW is better than Scream (sorry Wes) and all its bastard children. Tucker and Dale vs Evil hinted towards a meta aware horror comedy but CITW goes lights years beyond that.

Simply and concisely summarized, Cabin is a meta self aware revolutionary horror comedy that takes those structured horror cliches, be it the stereotypical characters, the irrational choices, the set direction and the mythos and goes all man behind the curtain on it. Joss and Drew go all Wizard of Oz-ing on the horror genre and it's so brilliant, so awesome and so fucking clever you will leave the theater in a state of pure happy happy joy joy bliss and understand why #CabinintheWoodsisEPIC was trending on Twitter.

It's a horror reference machine, sending you cameos, trends and cliches a mile a minute and it asks you to get it. Do you get it? Do you understand the parody of what you're seeing? You don't? Then go ask somebody. Go watch the Universal classics, the slasher franchises, the Kubrick masterpiece. Then you'll understand why Cabin is going to spawn it's own genre and some bastard children of it's own.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Of course, the movie is about 5 friends who go to a cabin in the woods. But in the opening scene (in classic Whedon fashion) the twist which is SUPPOSE to be in the middle of the film is the one that starts you off. Any way of plot points and spoilers will ruin the movie for you so I will now not mention much of it (like CTK @ Planet of Terror did in his review). What I will do is answer my standard Q&A when I review a slasher film (because I'm jack full of spaz tuna) and also go in a bonus round, let's cyberchat in the comments. Go, go gadget Q&A!

1.) Does the movie have..... a mysterious, insanely strong, ridiculed as a child, deformed, inbred redneck slasher?

Check...and it has so much more that I'm getting giddy and a horror boner talking about it.

2.) Gratuitous, over the top, super fleshy nudity?

Check. Rated R motherfucker. They're real and they're spectacular.

3.) Stereotypical teenage caricatures with a few old people who die gruesome and horrific over the top deaths?

Check. A blonde bimbo slut, a stoner "fool", the dumb jock, the smart guy and your standard prepackaged final "virgin" girl. Oh how you will howl with laughter at Fran Kranz's performance as Marty, the stoner. He spews Whedon-logue as good as Xander Harris.

4.) No Plot?

It's really a trick question as of course there is a plot and it's fuckin awesome. When you drank a can of New Coke, you know it's just a version of the original formula. Oh how I love the original formula. Classic Coke with a twist of sassy.

5.) Kills by our slasher that make you go "Fuck yeah!"

Check. You will yell out in delight and make a mess in your pants. You will see a lot of fanboy O faces.

6.) Gore, lots of it. Like serious decapitation, dismemberment, impalement, hatchet frenzy steroid rages and blood shooting out at various penetration wounds, limbs a flailing and mindless splatter and mayhem?

Check. There are LOL scenes of WTF by the various "things". The blood and splatter are top notch. Lots of everything I said above with a point that may impale your brain. Hint hint.

7.) Geeky leader who takes charge of the hapless group as they try to escape who befriends the hot girl who knows about the "legend" (there's always a legend no one believes)

Wow. Joss get out of my head. This describes our stoner Marty to a tee. Though the legend is more of the "Here is what the fuck is going on" to his friends and the audience. Marty is using is sight beyond sight. That's the real power of weed.

8.) Funny yet ill timed dialogue but also various quips and one liners that are funny only the first time around (yet somehow funny again when you buy the DVD and only when you're stoned)

Check. The Whedonesque dialogue complete with Buffy speak is as always fuckin brilliant. Sure, "teenagers" are spewing dialogue written by 30 and 40 somethings but it has always worked when done by the Whedon players. The jokes are spot on timely and hilariously LOL. The play on words and reverse logic make it all the more fun. It's dialogue and conversation that is probably written in a conventional way and then Whedon-ized to make it funny. Remember, Joss actually talks like this.

9.) Gratuitous cameos of horror legends (a famous man of the box, classic Universal monsters, Kubrick tweens) that make you flash a metal sign and do the Beavis and Butthead pseudo head nodding.

Check. SPOILER ALERT!!! This link here will give you all the info you need.

9a.) Final girl goes all final girly?

Check. But it's the final girl we see at the end playing "Le Director" that you'll be cheering for.

10.) Wildly ambiguous ending that can be used to warrant a sequel?

Actually...well.....ummm....no?

************************************************************

The Cabin in the Woods will be remembered as a game changer in the world of horror. It's a horror movie within the making of a horror movie. The Whedon elements are pure mythological magic, where he introduces something new to an audience that has long forgotten or chosen to forget why we all love the horror genre.

Goddard and Whedon break down into the slasher formula and ask the questions we've all asked before, during and after the movie. We've always questioned character motivations, absurd coincidences, elaborate backstory and heroic save the day moments but never has it been put in a movie so brilliantly and with such style and and LOL zingers.

A new generation of millennials has now been introduced us to the topsy turvy world of Hellmouth 101.

Nude-ipedia

A spectacular pair of mangoes

Gore-ipedia

Mucho slaughter via slasher weaponry
Mucho victim fodder via various slasher methodology

WTF moment

SPOILER ALERT!!! (scroll over to see)
----> (I'll never see unicorns the same again)

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Cabin in the Woods is clearly the film to beat as best horror movie of 2012. So many Buffy/Angel/Dollhouse alum I was oozing Whedonesque Fanboy-isms like a motherfucker. Everybody go see this movie. NOW. Drop what you're doing and see it now. Why are you still reading this?

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2012 horror movies, buffy the vampire slayer, cabin in the woods, dollhouse, joss whedon, vampires, whedonesque, zombies

The Shortround: The Code (Review)

Lots of new Shortround posts this week. Here's another one where you can actually watch for yourself. From Mark Blitch comes The Code, a horror comedy short that part Buffy part Shaun of the Dead.

The tagline says it all: Put it on your Google Calendar

Watch the short below and then read my review.

The Code - watch more funny videos

the jaded viewer says: At 6 minutes, The Code cleverly polishes it's Buffy dialogue and Shaun of the Dead references while throwing in cameos chock full of horror icons. It's funny and knows the stereotypical horror cliches it parodies. I like the cliched opening of a douchebag alpha male with the supposed dumb blonde though I was 100% sure she was a Buffy in disguise.

The vampire, chainsaw slasher and Bigfoot were solid surprises but Taylor Brandt as zombie Shaun steals the show with his loyalty for Google Calendar. Obvious reference aside, it made me LOL and the makeup and FX won ton of awards at the Splatterfest Festival in Houston.

Good job by all those involved and I'm happy you all were able to see it as well.

Check out the links below for more info.

Film - http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/65eu
IMDB - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2059297/
FB - http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Code/246951718683504
Metal Sandwhich Films: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Metal-Sandwich-Films/190463734328735

Categories: buffy the vampire slayer, comedy, horror comedy, horror short, short, short film, slashers, the shortround, vampires, zombie comedy, zombies

Rec 3: Genesis Trailer shows the wedding from hell

Every once in a while I get excited about a horror movie. I wrote my Best of the Rest 2011 list and I've yet to see most on that list. But when it comes to the Rec series, I have to say it hasn't disappointed me as of yet. I gave the original Rec, 2 spinkicks and Rec 2 3 spinkicks. Could Rec 3: Genesis get the elusive 4?

After watching the trailer, you gotta admit, it looks fuckin awesome.It takes place at a wedding in broad daylight. Shaky cam POV is back, so is the over the top gore and a bride and groom surviving until death do us part. It's a sequel but from the plot summary, it will release info on what the virus or whatever it is, that has been unleashed.

Director Paco Plaza helms this 3rd flick and the film stars Leticia Dolera and Diego Martin. Our bride has a cute final bride look to her and you know the wedding reception is going to be one hell of a party. I'm kinda hyped.

It sucks the guests won't be able to line dance.

Check out the trailer. Via Bloody Disgusting.

Categories: cinema verite, pov horror, rec, rec 2, rec review, spanish horror, zombies, zombies pov

The Shortround: Too Late (Full Short and Review)

From director Rani Naamani and starring Nelson Brown, the short Too Late has been making the horror sites and blog rounds. Pretty creative with a WTF ending. It's nicely paced at 2 minutes and it's better than watching 90 minute straight to DVD zombie crapfests.

Check it out below.

Too Late from SIDE FILMS on Vimeo.

Categories: horror short, short, short film, the shortround, zombies

The Walking Dead is Lost but with Zombies

Yeah I said it. The Walking Dead is Lost but with Zombies. Hmm, looks like you haven't been thinking the way I've been thinking. As a huge Lost fan, one can only think about the similarities between the two shows. It's pretty fuckin amazing how a zombie apocalypse and a crash landing on a mysterious island can be similar. Are you shaking your head? Well let's examine the characters of The Walking Dead and who they closely resemble on Lost.

THE OBVIOUS

1.) Rick is Jack

the jaded viewer says: Our cowboy messiah is our de facto leader of a rag tag group of survivors. He's thrust into this position and now has to make the tough decisions with a friend questioning his authority. He "woke up" into this hell on Earth and he has made already a few questionable decisions. Remind you of anyone?

2.) Shane is Locke

the jaded viewer says: Pretty obvious similarity here. Shane is now our chief antagonist who is willing to bend his morals in order to survive. He has fully understood the world he now lives in and has adapted. Locke started recruiting a group of his own and Shane has Andrea on his side. Locke never slept with Kate but you get my point.

3.) Lori is Kate

the jaded viewer says: The Walking Whore as she is now known is totally your Kate. She's hot, she's behind the scenes, she's kinda messed around and she has a BIG FUCKIN SECRET. Actually 2 in fact. She's trying to play both sides (making nice with Shane because of what he did for Carl...well sorta) but remains loyal to Rick.

Kinda Close

4.) Daryl is Sawyer

the jaded viewer says: Rednecks unite! Daryl, our resident bad ass hick has shown us uber toughness and a shielded tender side. He's hated by everybody but somehow has slowly become endeared by Carol. Sawyer too started off as the most hated man on the island but eventually became the lovable awesome guy with a sense of humor.

5.) Andrea is Sayid

the jaded viewer says: We're slowly seeing Andrea evolve into a sharpshooter and her tag team with Shane closely draws parallels with Locke and Sayid. They both have a similar agenda and clearly are on the outside of the group looking in.

6.) Glenn is Hurley

the jaded viewer says: This is an easy one. Your comic relief character is a bit socially awkward, scores with the hot girl but somehow is the most reliable survivor. Glenn is the guy who can get things and Hurley is the guy who can eat things. See?

Kind of a stretch...but!

7.) Dale is Claire

the jaded viewer says: Dale is our reliable old fuddy duddy. The confidante, the keeper of the pulse of the group. He kept Andrea alive and got T-Dog medical attention. He's the mechanic. Hmm not sure how Claire is like Dale. But I get the feeling Dale like Claire has a big secret that may change the group dynamic.

8.) Karl is Walt

the jaded viewer says: They're both kids. I'm hoping they're both "special" and have magical powers.

9.) T-Dog is Michael

the jaded viewer says: You're probably saying "C'mon, why you gotta be racist for?" Is it because they're both black? Well I'm not sure which Lost character T-Dog resembles as of yet. He did mention to Dale they thought they were "weak" part of the group. Michael had always thought that to....kinda. This comparison is more of a prediction. We'll see as we go along.

10.) Carol/Sophia are Jin/Sun

the jaded viewer says: Sometimes you just gotta take the mediocre characters and lump them up together. Did Jin disappear from Sun for a long period of time? You betcha. Where the fuck is Sophia? She must have walked to fuckin Washington DC by now.

11.) Hershel/Maggie/Carol/etc are The Others

the jaded viewer says: Hershel just pulled a Ben Linus didn't he??? Who knows what else is on that farm.

12.) Zombies are The Island

the jaded viewer says: This is also pretty obvious but the zombie wasteland is The Island with all it's dangers, craziness, quirkiness and unknowns. What else will they encounter as they travel along the zombie states of America. We've already gotten flashbacks of the nuclear holocaust of Atlanta. Will we get flash forwards?

*********************************************

It's not definitive yet but I would bet a dollar we may get some parallel storylines and a few more twists and turns that might be Lost like. I've been digging The Walking Dead and I hope they keep it fresh and dig deep into the characters as that is the ultimate driving force of any good show.

As long as we don't see all the characters in a church in the series finale, I think we're good.

C'mon Glenn. Get your freak on.

Categories: fast moving zombies, tv shows, walking dead, zombie tv show, zombies

Occupy Wall Street echoes Romero's Land of the Dead

George A. Romero's Land of the Dead was released in 2005, 3 years before the shit hit the fan as the US economy turned into crap. Of course, while the gap between the rich and the poor was growing during the last decade, many were looking at "sky flowers" and ignored what was to come. If you actually rewatch LotD, it eerily echoes many of the concerns that many of the poor, working and middle class talk about now. Occupy Wall Street looks like a "uprising" where we, zombies have decided to storm Fiddler's Green.

It's always been the case that the rich have created ways to preoccupy the masses to deter them from their situation. Whereas the zombies are mesmerized by the sky flowers, the living in LotD are given gambling, booze, drugs and mindless entertainment to ease the pain of their lives. Clearly Paul Kaufman (Dennis Hopper) represents the status quo, the rich who will do anything to stay rich. Their best method of keeping their lives the way it is is by tricking the masses to believe they have a chance to join them. This is best illustrated as Cholo (John Leguizamo) does all of Kaufman's dirty work so he can live the "Fiddler's Green Dream".



And so comes Occupy Wall Street and the 99%ers. Their manifesto is short and to the point.

We are the 99 percent. We are getting kicked out of our homes. We are forced to choose between groceries and rent. We are denied quality medical care. We are suffering from environmental pollution. We are working long hours for little pay and no rights, if we're working at all. We are getting nothing while the other 1 percent is getting everything. We are the 99 percent.

If you somehow missed the allusion of Romero's zombies are actually us, well I'm here to say ahem, they are all of us. Many of the elite think of the American public has mindless, dumb zombies. They think all we want to do is breed, consume and destroy things. WE are the majority yet we have no real power.

But as the zombies in LotD taught as anything, we can evolve. We can think and we can damn well organize. It's the power in numbers that ultimately will be the way we can take over once more. We always look at maps as a way to see how a zombie virus can spread, well take a look at the Occupy Wall St protests that have popped up. It was inevitable.

Mike: "They're trying to be us."
Riley:"No, they used to be us. Learning how to be us again."
Mike: "It's like they're pretending to be alive."
Riley: "Isn't that what we're doing, pretending to be alive?"




We have to wake up. We have to think. We have to evolve. We have to clear our mind. We have to realize the corporations greatly influence our political leaders. We have to realize that even though you are doing well and gotten the slice of the American Dream pie, the system is still unfair. We have to realize that the poor and middle class CANNOT take anymore of the burden to fix our economic woes. The rich and wealthy must contribute a greater portion to fix the financial burden we all face. The crooks who created this mess must pay for their crimes. We have to find a system that works.

As much as we'd like violence to get our point across, the violence is not by us but by the police who are supposed to protect us. Sure I'd like to see THIS HAPPEN to our Fiddler's Green friends. The system won't collapse because of a few thousand protesters but if they get agitated, a little scared and a little concerned they may make concessions. They may change because they're scared by what we represent.

That's what OWS is trying to do. Create change. And change in any form is good change.

Kaufman repeated the line "You have no right!" as the zombies poured in and destroyed his status quo paradise. Well Mr. Kaufman and to all the other Kaufmans of the world, we have every right.

We are the 99%.

Categories: 99%, george romero, land of the dead, occupy wall street, romero, zombies

As American as a Zombie Horde

Well when it comes to horror, one can always feel proud to be an American when it comes to zombies. Sure we didn't come up with the idea of zombies (it's from African and Haitan folklore) but American born George Romero made zombies as popular as apple pie.

Vampires were brought to the masses via Stoker and werewolves from Greece. But zombies have felt always American and we can't get enough of the undead. And we all think that because we're a gun obsessed violent nation we can survive a zombie horde. When in the video below, that might not always be the case.

The crew at Rooster Teeth put it to the test. Check out the results. And oh yeah, Happy Independence Day!

Categories: american horror, american zombie, happy independence day, zombies

The Frankenstein Syndrome (Review)

The Frankenstein Syndrome

The Frankenstein Syndrome (2010)

Directed by Sean Tretta

[screener provided by MTI Home Video]

There are preconceived notions when your film stars Tiffany Shepis. You expect lots of screaming and blood from our beautiful scream queen beauty. However surprisingly, The Frankenstein Syndrome tones down all those things.

Don't get me wrong. Tiffany looks hot in hospital scrubs, she screams and she gets blood on her but this film which starts off with Tiffany in a mask detailing her story to two FBI agents got my interest peaked initially. However, it lost me in the middle and then got it back towards the end.

It's an up and down ride for this film by Sean Tretta. Lots of inconsistency abound in this retelling of Mary Shelly's classic novel. But what it lacks in budget and in pacing it gets back in creativity. But at the end of the day it's an average sci-fi turned slasher flick that makes its mark by reworking the classic monster run amok. If you dig that ole story, you'll probably find this film interesting to say the least.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A group of researchers conducting illegal stem cell research discover a cell anomaly that has the potential to regenerate dead tissue. Unable to conduct legal human trials, the researchers turn to corpses to test their serum.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Tiffany is Dr. Elizabeth who joins a group of medical doctors who try to evolve stem cell research into ludicrousness. She quickly makes breakthroughs because she's mega smart and the team is resentful but equally impressed. As this is highly illegal research, they are funded by a world re known doc who's hired gangster henchmen to make sure everybody is scared shitless.

When one of their test subjects offs herself, they test the new developed serum to bring her back to life. Later David, one of henchman is sacrificed for the greater good and is also brought back to life with a more improved serum. He quickly heals, has psychic powers and can literally turn water into fruit punch.

But as the medical staff try to poke holes into our new Jesus guinea pig, he has other ideas which lead to chaos at the underground medical center. Dr. Liz is our final girl and has to survive against the new "monster" she's created.

Got all that?

Let's start off with Shepis. She is actually solid in this role, playing the doc with the moral dilemma and struggling to survive. It's a different role for our horror veteran and she makes the most out of it. Dr. Travelle (Patti Tindall), the group leader plays mother to the new more evolved super human David. David (Scott Anthony Leet) is clearly a conflicted monster and Leet does a decent job in this over the top role even reciting Shelly like prose as he passes judgement on the hospital staff.

But as the horror goes, it starts off with some bright ideas but never really follows through. The flick has ideas of what is right and wrong but focuses on going with the wrong and showing us the consequences. There is a lot of conversations that make up a bulk of the middle of the movie. This is where I kinda got bored. Had there been some monster craziness in the middle of the flick, we'd get more conflict from the monster vs the researchers and antagonism between the doctors themselves.

The Gore-ipedia is wicked cool as the red stuff gets sprayed all over. It's precision like beheadings, face-off wickedness but also your standard blood on walls. Coolest effect? Gunshots in the head.

The Frankenstein Syndrome takes the old classic, has it reworked by indie horror and bakes up a decent horror dessert. It's not the best thing you'll see this year but it's not the worst. The ending opens up some possibilities but you'll have to ride a roller coaster to get to it.

If your goal is to see every Tiffany Shepis flick (and boy she's in a lot of flicks) then add this one to the library. It's not your typical Shepis flick and for that it's definitely watchable.


Nude-ipedia

No Shepis nudity...BOOOOOO!

WTF moment

I wish I could turn water into fruit punch

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

If you think watching this film is the equivalent of reading Mary Shelly's book, you'd be wrong. Very wrong.

The Vitals

• The official site
• Facebook Page

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, indepentent horror, indie film, indie horror, mti video, tiffany shepis, zombies