The 5 Best Movies from the Splat Pack

With Eli Roth about to give us The Green Inferno, a cannibal film! in the near future, I thought we should look at the filmographies of the Splat Pack, who according to Wikipedia: "The group has been credited with bringing back ultra-violent movies, as well as moving away from PG-13 rated movies and into the R-rated spectrum, all while operating with low budgets"

The names of the members are arbitrary at best. Aja, Bousman, Marshall, McLean, Roth, Rodriguez, Wan, Whannell and Zombie. But they have given us some solid motherfuckin flicks. Here are my 5 essential best movies from some of the Splat Pack directors. Chime in if you agree or disagree.

5.) Rob Zombie - The Devil's Rejects

The Jaded Viewer says: This is pure Zombie mayhem at its best. Hillbilly rednecks slaughtering in open America. Sheri Moon, Haig and Moseley are terrifying and it clicks. Lots of cringe worthy moments with that Freebird ending just pure awesomness.

4.) Alexandre Aja - Piranha 3D

The Jaded Viewer says: I didn't like Haute Tension. Too gimmicky and twisty. Piranha 3D is pure fun. Gore, boobs, gore, cheesy special effects, Riley Steele boobs, mutilated penis. It's a monster film that takes that camp horror back to the basics.

3.) Robert Rodriguez - Grindhouse Planet Terror 

The Jaded Viewer says: With R.R, you can go with the vamps or the angry Mexican but Planet Terror is the most explosive gore-riah film filled with one legged Cherry and zombied up super soldiers. I can deny the fact it's the one I can watch again over and over again in the Grindhouse double.

2.) Eli Roth - Hostel

The Jaded Viewer says:  Hostel came out in 2005. Man has it really been 7 years? Love it or hate it, it's the pinnacle film of the Splat Pack and the one that got the gorehounds spazzing again. Pure magnificent torturous fun, Bratislava is now destination #1 for foreigners looking to get their death on. You can't deny Hostel's impact on all the films that have come after.

1.) Neil Marshall - The Descent 

The Jaded Viewer says: The Descent is the best film any of the filmmakers from the Splat Pack and Neil Marshall's Dog Soldiers is awesome, it's The Descent that will stand out as good old solid awesome horror.
Why Juno why????

Any other filmmakers that should gain Splat Pack status? Want to add your own list? Comment away! It's the damn internet right too!

Categories: alexandre aja, eli roth, grindhouse, hostel, neil marshall, piranha 3d, rob zombie, robert rodriguez, splat pack, the descent

El monstro del mar! (Review)

El monstro del mar!

El monstro del mar! (2012)

Directed by Stuart Simpson

Did you ever want to see the Suicide Girls take on a sea monster?

Well Australia has got you covered. Because in Stuart Simpson's El monstro del mar (translated to Monster of the Sea) you'll just see that. And that's pretty much it.

Monstro goes into the way back time machine to give us a throwback to B-movie monsterpalooza where a quiet seaside town goes under attack by 3 hot Aussie vixen pussycat kill kill killers as they battle a tentacle rape octupi.

The movie starts off as From Dusk til Dawn style as our 3 tatted up, goth femme fatales lay a Venus fly trap for some man fodder. They party hard, booze it up and sniff those lines. They meet a young girl (another Aussie hottie) and her grandfather but secrets lay deep in this beach town. Soon locals are slaughtered and much blood is lost.

The CGI monster is slightly above your SyFy original movie but the buckets of blood and gore is unrelenting. Kudos to Simpson and his team for going all out. But hell the tentacles are pure laughable as are the death scenes. It's definitely intentionally "bad", with ridiculous carnage of serpent arms vs man.

But do I buy into the "it's so bad, it's good" formula? Well too a point I do. I'm all for seeing our 3 whores from hell Beretta, Blondie and the hottest of all Snowball go swimming and acting badass but without a real story or any interesting scenes of fun, it also becomes outright boring. It's fairly predictable and generic as they come.

If you want to see Aussie Suicide girls battle sea monsters, this will be your favorite movie. I liked the eye candy and the fairly cheesy monster mash gore. But clearly it's the same as watching a Skinemax action movie. Pick your poison.

Rating:
1/2

Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2012 horror movies, australian horror, breaking glass pictures, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, indie film, indie horror, monster movie, suicide girl

Press Release: Soska Sisters Dead Hooker in a Trunk released by IFC Midnight

Good news today for the Soska Sisters. After getting a UK release, Dead Hooker in a Trunk has finally hit the good ole US of A via IFC Midnight. It's long overdue for these awesome filmmakers. Check out the pres release below which has my quote in it as well (yay)

Also check out my review of the film. It's funny that I remember putting up this trailer 3 years ago (as the Soska Sisters will point out, this was one of the first amounts of hype for the film :-) ) and never thought I'd ever see it. But they sent me a screener and I was blown away. Hopefully you now all get the opportunity to see this little black humor piece of grindhousey horror film and have the same feeling as I did when I first saw it.

Check out the entire press release below.

*************************************************************

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK RELEASED BY IFC MIDNIGHT IN LIMITED THEATERS AND VOD

The Highly Anticipated Release of the Award Winning, Critically Acclaimed, Independent Hit, DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK!

WORLD PREMIERE -- AUGUST 3rd 2011 --

"You should check out DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK. They made it low budget and it's f*cking awesome. The violence is incredible and the stunts are fantastic." ~ Eli Roth, Director

After touring the film festival circuit and capturing the attention and adoration of critics and fans alike, the highly anticipated world release of the independent, cult classic in the making, grindhouse film DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK has finally arrived after making its UK and Australian release earlier in the year. DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK is being released through special midnight theatrical screenings in a limited release across the USA and Canada by IFC Midnight. Cities and theater information will be released soon. For those who can't wait to see it in theaters can see it early through VOD on August 3rd, 2011.

DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK, set in beautiful Vancouver, tells the story of four friends who set out on an everyday errand and end up in a fight for their lives when they discover the body of a dead hooker left in their trunk.

Lead by a sexy, impulsive Badass, her distant Geek twin sister, their bible thumping, Jesus loving Goody Two Shoes friend, and a chaotic, rock star Junkie pal, the group has to put aside their differences to dispose of the body before they're next. Thrown into their own personal purgatory, they face off against persistent police, a sleazy motel manager, chainsaw wielding triads, and a brutal serial killer. All the while they are followed by a mysterious Cowboy Pimp who wants to claim the corpse for his own.

Will they uncover the truth behind the body and be able to stand up to their demons? Buckle up and get ready for the ride of your life filled with gun fights, extreme violence, blood, guts, gore, and goats.

DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK is the debut feature film by Canadian Twin Filmmakers, Jen and Sylvia Soska, that has set the independent horror scene ablaze with excitement. The film and the filmmakers have captured the attention of Hostel director Eli Roth, Fangoria, Gorezone, Twitch Film, Rue Morgue, and many other profound voices in horror.

“Watching Dead Hooker in a Trunk is like having the best bare backing sex of your life while hopped up on junk with a fugly prostitute in a seedy motel room on the wrong side of town”
~ TWITCH Film

"Seriously, f*cking wow. I was totally hooked by the dialogue and the sheer where-the-f*ck-is-this-going-ness" of it all."
~ Gorezone

"A cult classic in the making and a hidden gem in indie film making."
~ The Jaded Viewer

"Wild, psychotic, funny, bloody, and strangely sexy opus."
~ Arrow In The Head

DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK has earned a substantial cult following and named onto several "Top Horror Film Of 2010" lists making it one of the most hyped and blogged about independent films of the year.

"Nearly every actor and actress who appeared on screen in DHiaT also served the film in other areas, from camera operators and stunt coordinators to editors and cinematographers. This film is a work of art, and it's a labor of love. Love from fans of horror, and of film in general, who took that love and put it to work, creating a film of their own. And the love and respect that these men and women have for the the genre, as well as for movies as a whole, is very evident throughout the entire film. This is how a movie is supposed to look, sound and feel!" ~ D'Ment'D Cinema

For more information, please check out the following sites or contact the Twisted Twins at their Official Site (http://www.twistedtwinsproductions.net/).

Twisted Twins Productions

IFC Midnight

Industry Works


Twisted Twins Productions is co-owned by film makers Jen and Sylvia Soska who bring you edgy dialogue, gore~geous effects, beautiful cinematography, and memorable characters, all for your viewing pleasure.

Their debut smash hit, DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK is only the beginning and the two are busy at work on their next project, AMERICAN MARY.

******************************************************************

Categories: dead hooker in a trunk, dead hooker in a trunk trailer, exploitation film, grindhouse, independent cinema, indepentent horror, indie film, indie horror, soska sisters

Watch the awesome movie The Taint for FREE!!!

Director Drew Bolduc dropped me a line to let you all know that you can now watch his and Dan Nelson's flick The Taint for FREE....yes for freakin free...until the end of June.

I reviewed the film earlier this year and I gave it 3 out of 4 spinkicks. You can read my entire review here.

Here's a quote from my review.

"The Taint is the next evolution of the Troma movie. I think Troma has lost touch with it's extreeminess but directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson have spawned a new genre of low budget horror comedy. The American WTF movie. That's what The Taint is. It's got a mild plot, some easily identifiable characters and lots of WTF. I've never seen so much WTF in my movie viewing history. That and a lot of penis. Yes folks, this movie has more penis shots than a Playgirl pictorial."

Watch the entire film below and head over to the official site, Like it on Facebook and follow them on Twitter for more icky goodness.

Now watch the entire film and be prepared for some extra saucy WTF!

The Taint from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, indie film, indie horror, the taint, troma films

The WTF Films of Filipino Exploitation

I've been dying to see Machete Maidens Unleashed, the documentary by Mark Hartley (Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation!) about Filipino exploitation flicks. Most of these flicks were filmed in the Philippines and ranged from blaxploitation to kung fu. I remember my dad having some of these flicks on VHS and they were horribly cheesy. But my dad let me watch these flicks and as an impressionable tween, I got to see some partial nudity and random acts of violence.

Now years later, looking back at these flicks I realize now my interest towards all that was weird and edgy is probably due to the 80s action flicks of Cannon and Filipino exploitation. My dad should be proud he let me watch. Now all I do on this site is reminisce about these films :-)

So here's a taste of my childhood, in all its bad kung fu, gratuitous nudity, horrible acting and incoherent plots.

the jaded viewer says: Raw Force. It's pretty much the pinnacle of Filipino exploitation.




the jaded viewer says: One Armed Executioner: He scores the white chick and kicks ass with one arm. He's Handi-armed and dangerous!





the jaded viewer says: For Your Height only. Weng Weng is legen...wait for it....dary!




the jaded viewer says: TNT Jackson. She'll kung fu your ass while her titties be bouncing sucka!



the jaded viewer says: Black Mama, White Mama. Women in Prison 'sploitation! Stars Pam Grier and Sid Haig and directed by Filipino vet Eddie Romero. Probably the awesomest premise ever.




Makes you wanna see some of these right? What exploitation flick is MUST SEE for anybody who wants to catch up on this type of stuff?

Categories: 70s grindhouse movies, documentary, exploitation, exploitation film, filipino horror, grindhouse, philippines

The Shortround: The Deadneks Trilogy of Blood (Review)

If you have an indie short, our motto at the jaded viewer is we'll review it. So our latest edition of The Shortround is a grindhouse short via Ruckus Productions called The Deadneks - Trilogy of Blood. Featuring the psychobilly sickos The Deadneks, we get a full blown exploitation homage as 3 city girls wind up in Bumfuck Hillbilly USA.

Here be the plot:

When a trio of sexy city gals picks up a broken-down hillbilly in the backwoods of Virginia – the three kittens get A LOT more than they bargained for when they accept the drifter’s invitation to a down-home barbecue. What these lovely ladies don’t know just may hurt ‘em – when they find that the menu of this hayseed hoe-down isn’t the standard ‘burgers and dogs’…

the jaded viewer says: Shot on a claimed budget of $62, Trilogy of Blood is a 27 minute long Deadneks music video with a Herschel Gordon Lewis grindhouse homage blended in. Ruckus Productions spared no expense (well maybe expenses for beer, Spencer Gifts decaped arms and blood and more beer) to give us a look and feel of an exploitation film circa the 70s. The tagline says it all:

SEE the BLOOD! FEEL the TERROR! HEAR the PSYCHOBILLY SICKNESS!!!! Experience the sensory TRIPLE-SKULL-FUCK that is…TRILOGY OF BLOOD!!!!!!!!

Damn that's alot of exclamation points.

Add in the grainy staticky footage and some Gordon Lewis homages from 2000 Maniacs to Blood Feast and you got a nice decent short with 3 performances by The Deadneks whose punk rock style is a blend of The Misfits, The Cramps and Reverend Horton Heat. I haven't heard psychobilly punk in a while since my early punk rock days and it was nice to hear some good tunes while seeing ocular trauma, smashed heads and cannibal rednecks. We even get a horrific chubby fuck, incest makeout session and a boink-o-thon on a tractor trailer.

I've never seen that before.

Trilogy of Terror is grindhouse schlock with a killer soundtrack that horror and punk rock fans should check it out. I'm not saying it's the best the grindhouse has to offer but it's got all the basics and cliches and offers nothing more, nothing less.

Boobs, blood, beer and rock and roll. If that's your poison, check it out.

The Vitals

• Fun Fact: Brenna Roth (daughter of David Lee Roth) stars as one of the girls
• Picked to be part of the Underground Horror Fest II taking place in March of 2011
• 2010 Horrorfind Weekend and Fright Night Filmfest selection
• Official Site
• Facebook Page

Check out the trailer!

Categories: 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, gore, grindhouse, horror short, indie film, punk rock, short, short film, splatter, the shortround

Hobo with a Shotgun (Review)

Hobo with a Shotgun

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

Directed by Jason Eisener

"Delivering justice, one shell at a time..."

Don't fuck with the homeless.

That's the lesson I learned after watching Hobo with a Shotgun, the infamous grindhouse trailer turned full frontal feature from director Jason Eisener. If this was the 3rd film in a triple feature with Planet Terror and Death Proof, I'd have to say it was the best of the three by far.

Hobo with a Shotgun punched me in the face with it's witty humor, clever cleverisms and pure blood drenched awesomeness. It's a time travel throwback to 80s Troma mixed in with Street Trash and would be a banned video nasty if this were 1985. Each scene is like a mini trailer in itself, which you could cut up and edit and make 10 more trailers out of the film.

But even though it's hilariously ridiculous and you start scratching your head with one WTF after the other, it still never loses it's power to make you laugh, make you scream and make you applaud like a pimp at a whore convention.

Hobo with a Shotgun hits harder than a cop during a riot. You're not going to get a better throwback grindhouse movie this year. And for the first time in a long time, I'm giving it the highest rating the jaded viewer can bestow.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A train pulls into the station - it's the end of the line. A Hobo jumps from a freight car, hoping for a fresh start in a new city. Instead, he finds himself trapped in an urban hell. This is a world where criminals rule the streets and Drake, the city's crime boss, reigns supreme alongside his sadistic murderous sons, Slick & Ivan.

Amidst the chaos, the Hobo comes across a pawn shop window displaying a second hand lawn mower. He dreams of making the city a beautiful place and starting a new life for himself. But as the brutality continues to rage around him, he notices a shotgun hanging above the lawn mower... Quickly, he realizes the only way to make a difference in this town is with that gun in his hand and two shells in its chamber.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

There's not an overcomplicated story here. The movie is exactly what the title says. It's about a hobo with a shotgun. But our hobo (Rutger Hauer) arrives in Scum Town (renamed Fuck town by the locals) and immediately realizes this is one fucked up town. The town is run by Drake (Brian Downey), a clean cut evil crime boss who with his two sons Slick and Ivan (who are preppie douchebag killers) are willing to display their cruel and unusual punishment to keep the locals in line.

Did I mention the film takes place circa sometime in the 80s?

That's the first thing that makes you go WTF. Our hobo wanders the streets and we see what he sees. Boom boxes, video cassette video cameras, arcade machines and 80s jazzy clothing that makes you think we're in some Beastie Boys video. And it wouldn't be the 80s without some fuckin coke right? Cocaine is like Krispy Kreme donuts. Everybody is addicted! The town is full of low life pimps, bumfight entrepreneurs and Santa child predators. It's a fuckin shitty place.

Soon he meets a hot prostitute Abby and saves her from the clutches of our asshole preps. Abby and our hobo seemed to be both misfits in a town full of crazies but they start to form a bond. When you think HWAS would start to slow down during these non gore soaked moments, it doesn't. The conversation between our Hobo and our whore are hilarious. From talking about bears, an alternate job for Abby and to our Hobo's dream of buying a lawnmower!?!? so he can start his own business, the ridiculous and over the top conversation is as equally if not more awesome than the succeeding gore and splatter that embody a homeless man exacting vengeance with a shotgun.

Which brings us to the grindhouse and exploitation masterpiece that's been constructed by Eisener. It has a look and feel of a grindhouse films from the opening titles (Filmed in Technicolor!) to the shades of green and red tints that resemble your vintage graininess. But red is the color that dominates Hobo with a Shotgun and we get buckets of it. Your Gore-ipedia includes ripped off heads, shotgun trauma, blood splatter windows, hand splatter, neck gore and some sick slice and dice.

Once we get to the mid camp ending, all hell has broken loose. After some close calls in a battle between Slick and Ivan versus Hobo and Abby Drake brings in the big guns called "The Plague" to take down our Hobo who's been cleaning the gutter trash criminals off the street. These 2 heavily armored metal rejects slaughter a hospital staff before we get a Mad Max finale complete with a Mexican standoff.

Rutger Hauer is nearly flawless as our 100% hobo vigilante. It's like he copied the persona of one of the bumfight participants and as he yammers in his peculiar conversations you get 100% hooked. He's an old cranky man who knows shit and Hauer makes it believable. Downey as Drake plays it pretty over the top and our two preppie douchebags (Gregory Smith and Nick Bateman) give performances like they were mutated evil from a John Hughes film. Molly Dunsworth as Abby evolves from down and out hooker to an ever dedicated sidekick and does a great job looking hot and kicking ass.

Everything from Hobo with a Shotgun is viciously fucked up. It lives up to it's title because it's initial premise evolves into a full frontal assault of pure tastelessness. From vulgarities revolving orifices to maddening threats of torture, it's going to be obscene just to be obscene. Damn how I love that. I love the fact it never wavers, never says let's be a little PG-13 here or be a little tame in this scene. Nope. It goes all out to make you feel like you've been exploited for having seen this. Your going to laugh at seeing somebody get the shit beaten out of em and your not going to feel guilty at all.

Neo grindhouse has been on the up and up with remakes of 70s cult classics being assembly line made. It's refreshing to see a homegrown (in this case Canada) being made. Hobo with a Shotgun is old and new. If this was made in the 80s, it would SO be remade by now. It's because of all this that I proudly give Hobo with a Shotgun the rare 4 spinkicks.

Now give that homeless man on the street corner some spare change or you might get a hole in your chest.

Nude-ipedia

We get some titties

WTF moment

The Plague battle an octopus?!?

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I was able to see this gem during a screening courtesy of Magnet Releasing. Hobo with a Shotgun comes out on April 1st on Demand and May 6th in theaters. Here are some interesting fun facts:

• Original grindhouse trailer was made for $150 and won the SXSW Tarantino/Rodriguez Grindhouse trailer competition
• The Director of Photagraphy is Karim Hussain who made the cult classic Subconscious Cruelty
• Producer Rob Cotterhill (with Eisener) made the short Treevenge
• Only a few scenes from the original fake trailer made it to the feature

The Vitals

• The offical site
• Facebook Page

Rating:

Check out the trailer.



Here's the original fake trailer

Categories: 2009 grindhouse movies, 2011 horror movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, hobo with a shotgun, quentin tarantino, robert rodriguez

Bleading Lady (Review)

Bleading Lady aka Star Vehicle

Bleading Lady aka Star Vehicle (2011)

Directed by Ryan Nicholson

Let's just be real.

If you know of Ryan Nicholson's previous Plotdigger films, the last 2 being Gutterballs and Hanger, you've come to either be on the side of "his films are fuckin awesome" or "what a piece of shit these films are".

Ironically I'm still on the fence. I praised Gutterballs for being a brilliant exploitation masterpiece while destroying Hanger for being to gross and boring. I figure Star Vehicle (renamed Bleading Lady) would be my tiebreaker in the Nicholson filmography.

Well it turned out it didn't break the tie.

Bleading Lady has elements of the good shit I expected. Over the top gore, gratuitous nudity and self aware cleverisms. It also has the elements of what I hated. It's got serious pacing issues, horrible dialogue and minutes of nothingness.

Bleading Lady ends up being a the equievelant of seeing an ugly naked girl getting her armed disemembered. Your like "ewwwwwwwwww" and then "fuckin A!!! That was awesome!". So how did we all end up here?

Boring Plot-O-Matic

"Star Vehicle" follows the downward spiral of movie driver Donald Cardini, a self-professed movie buff with a penchant for explosive violence when provoked. Driving the stars of low-budget movies, along with their fragile egos, to and from locations in the middle of nowhere, pushes Don's buttons in all of the wrong directions.

When Luke, the young and self-absorbed writer/director challenges Don's authority, murder and mayhem ensues. The movie's Scream Queen' starlet, Riversa Red, to her dismay finds herself the target of Don's obsession. With his encyclopedic knowledge of her "body" and body of work, Don worms his way onto Riversa's good side, no easy task. Not knowing whether to fear or friend Don, Riversa finds herself at the center of a cyclone with Luke and Don both vying for her attention. A mysterious Hotel Bellboy and an unknown "watcher in the woods" lend themselves to the growing suspense as the cast and crew hold-up at Forest Grove Lodge...

Awesome Review-O-Matic

It's clear that from the outset we're getting a full on horror film from Ryan Nicholson. It's clear we're getting a little horror movie within a horror movie ala Scream to get our share of boobs, gore and in jokes. Our main dude Don (Dan Ellis) is the driver of the "star vehicle" and his passenger the lovely Reversa Red (Sidney Faraguna). We meet a few others along the way from the scumbag director, the Nicholson easter egg from the makeup artist, some scream queen noobs, another fellow driver and a lodge bellboy.

Don is a horror buff with knowledge of who's who. He adores Ms. Red and is her biggest fan. From bashing a friend's head he is an overprotective father to the scream queen. The movie intersplices scenes from the movie they are making and it at times I was a little more interested in that movie than the movie that was unfolding.

As we trudge along we get the inside of life within an indie horror movie. Making fun of an indie horror movie in an indie horror movie is surreal. Reversa converses with Don on her exploits and having done a "full frontal" nudity scene. He goes all "your talented then these whores" route while Reversa defends how these actresses get into the business. Some of this is interesting take on the inner workings of indie horror.

We even get to see Don break the 4th wall half an hour in as aside from an intro of kills, we see shit. He narrates "I know you are saying to yourself: 'let us get on with the blood!'" and so the movie does. Nicholson knows what we want and I LOL-ed from that bit of 'logue.

With every Nicholon film we do get full on boobs and buckets of blood. The boobs are solid Grade A boobage and the splatter is top notch. Sliced throats, crowbar trauma, severe OJ-ish stabbing will make every gorehound a happy happy boy. It's over the top and it's hilarious in that happy sickening sorta way.

But with all this horror happiness, we get the ugly girl portions of the film. At 70 or so minutes, there is so much emptiness in a lot of scenes that I rang up a decent score on Angry Birds waiting for something to happen. It just felt like 60% of the movie was filler with double talk conversations and our director being a douchebag. Reversa Red is our final girl but does nothing to make us care about her either.

Which leads to the dialogue of the whole film. Some of it was completely incomprehensuble. You know they are over acting and hamming it up in the movie within the movie but when we see the behind the scenes, it's still as bad. What the fuck? And that damn 80s cheesy soundtrack started to get on my nerves as well.

As we go along it seems Reversa's got a stalker and Don's gonna have to be the knight in shining armour. This leads to some slaughter and some tension between him and the director. The body count piles up and as we get to the end Don's making his own horror movie.

The ending is completely out of leftfield. Hell I think it's out of the 20 yard line. Come to think of it, I had no idea what sport I was watching. The movie spun out of control and ended up being one long scene of boring.

Bleading Lady pushes a standard horror film into overdrive with it's mish mash of horror caricatures and inside jokes. The gratuitous is solid in nudity and gore. But as it's racing towards the finish, it crashes into a tree and like an over cliched action movie, the gas tank ignites and blows up the entire car.

It has the smashing homage awesomeness of Gutterballs but the stupidness of Hanger and ends up with the standard 2 spinkicks from the jaded viewer. Like I said before, it's an ugly girl getting her arm chopped off. Somehow its ugly and cool at the same time. But I expected more. I expected a hot naked girl getting beheaded in full slo mo glory.

Weren't we all?

Gore-ipedia

Throat slashing
Slice and dice
Crowbar trauma
Stab and jab

Nude-ipedia

Full frontal boobs
Top and bottom full frontal nudity

WTF moment

I predicted the twist 10 minutes in. I was like WTF! It can't be that obvious can it?

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Bleading Lady comes out on DVD March 29th from Breaking Glass pictures via their Vicious Circle Films label. If you have to watch every Plotdigger and Ryan Nicholson film, than you'll need to watch this flick. If your a noob to RN, start off with Gutterballs because it has all the stuff your looking for and more.

The movie was filmed in Maple Ridge and Vancouver Canada.

The Vitals

• Bleading Lady via Breaking Glass Pictures
• The official site

Rating:

Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, bleading lady, exploitation, exploitation film, gore, gratuitous nudity, grindhouse, gutterballs, hanger, indie horror, slasher films, splatter, top 50 scream queens

Bleading Lady (Trailer)

For me, Ryan Nicholson has been hit or miss. I thought Gutterballs was viciously wicked while Hanger was too nasty in my opinion. But the one thing you can count on is his films will leave a lasting impact.

So via Vicious Circle Films (via Breaking Glass) comes Nicholson's newest film Bleading Lady. Here be the plot:

Don is a chauffeur and a movie buff who takes his job seriously — very seriously. When his latest assignment takes him to the set of a low-budget horror film, he’s overjoyed to learn he’ll be driving Riversa Red – his favorite B-movie “Scream Queen.” While escorting his beloved idol, Don assumes the role of bodyguard and turns fiercely protective, especially after learning that Riversa has a stalker. Hell-bent on protecting his queen and fueled by paranoid fantasies, Don’s usual temper tantrums go to fatal extremes. Soon he proves to be not only Riversa’s biggest fan, but her worst nightmare as well.

So with one hit and one miss, Bleading Lady is going to be a tiebreaker. From the trailer, it looks appetizing yummy with gore and nudity. But those elements can't save a movie if you don't have a solid hook. We'll see what this one brings.

Check out the trailer below.

Categories: breaking glass pictures, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, gutterballs, gutterballs review, hanger, hanger trailer

The Jaded Viewer's Predictions for 2011

I had a few features I wanted to write about what we should all expect in 2011 via film but they all sorta made sense to go list a few Nostradamusisy predictions instead. When in doubt, always go with a list I always say. Who knows what 2011 will bring in the world of horror but I'm going out on a limb with my guesses and predictions.

If any of these come true, I've got proof I'm psychic. Now place your bets.

1.) Steampunk will be Hollywood's Newest Exploitation

With Sucker Punch coming out which will probably be the equivalent of 300 in terms of success, Zach Snyder will initiate a Hollywood bandwagon for all that is steampunk.

2.) We're going to see a lot more Exorcist type movies

With The Rite comes out this month, we're going to see more devil in a child movies. The Last Exorcism's succes and Exorcismus, this is just the tip of the iceberg for devils vs priests.

3.) We're going to see less horror remakes

Just because Hollywood's already milked the shit out of every horror franchise

4.) Remember shaky cam shot on video cinema? We're going to get a film like that every month.

And it's going to be in 3D.

5.) Joss Whedon's Cabin in the Woods will be better than Kevin Smith's Red State

Two fan bases collide but somehow Whedon will prevail because his movie will be funnier.

6.) Zombies and Vampires will jump the shark....say hello to werewolves

With Teen Wolf coming to MTV, I smell more howling wolves coming to the big screen.

7.) There will be less Exploitation and Grindhouse throwback flicks

Sure I'm going to see Hobo with a Shotgun but we're going to see indie filmmakers turn their backs on these type of flicks.

8.) Gladiator movies will make a comeback

From Spartacus to Hercules to Conan, we're going to see more overgrown men with swords slicing and dicing.

9.) We will have 1 hyped up Japanese or Korean remake

I hope it comes from Takashi Miike or Chan Wook Park.

10.) The French will blow us away with a horror flick (which will probably end up #1 on my Top 10 List for 2011)

They've been quiet for a while. I think they're going to make a flying zombie film that's somehow intellectually stimulating.

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OK that's my list. What's yours? What are your predictions for 2011?

Categories: exploitation film, french horror, grindhouse, horror remakes, jadedviewer.com, jaime chung, japanese horror, korean horror, steampunk, the jaded viewer, the last exorcism, zombies

Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010 (#20-11)

Everybody has been posting their Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010! Sorry for taking so long to get this live but I had to catch up on some of the movies I missed this year. I usually look at other people's lists and watch the movies that others claimed were the best. If I didn't, I would have missed out on a few sleepers this year.

Like last year, I've extended this to 20 films. In this list of #11-20, you'll be surprised to find has many of the movies that can be found on the horrorsphere's Top 10 lists. I had a different take on what was considered "the best" this year and my picks are totally abnormal from everybody else. I'm just quirky that way.

First some fun facts and sidenotes!

• Though some of these movies came out in 2009, I label any movie that got wide releases or DVD releases in 2010 as coming out in 2010
• It's a mix of indie horror and theatrical releases
• Here are the movies I didn't see yet: Black Swan, Let Me In, Shutter Island, Paranormal Activity 2, After.Life and a few other indie horror films that ended up on some Top 10s
  
• The 20 films broken down by country: USA = 12, Canada=2, UK=1, Finland =1, Australia=1, Serbia=1, Netherlands=1, Spain=1
• The 20 films broken down by spinkick rating: 4 spinkicks=1, 3 spinkicks= 16, 2 1/2 spinkicks=3 (I did not give any horror movie 4 spinkicks this year)
• Honorable Mentions: The Crazies, Daybreakers, Berdella, Dawning
  
• To read the entire review of the film click on the title.

So what did 2010 offer us in the world of horror?

• The horror mockumentary makes an appearance numerous times
• Shaky cam/Shot on video flicks haven't jumped the shark yet
• 3D Horror was everywhere and sucked in most cases
  
• The Human Centipede was the most talked about hype movie that bordered on mainstreeminess
• An unrated horror movie is too much for Hollywood theaters to handle
• The number one movie on my list is again not from the USA
  

Let's get to the list! Here is #20 to #11.

20.) Kill Theory
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)

Kill Theory is not great but compared to the others, it's pretty solid. The premise is an intriguing one. The movie poses the question: What would you do to survive if given the choice to either kill your friends in order to live.

The answer plays out as slightly cliched and is executed in the most extreme way possible. And somehow it came out five by five.

Kill Theory is not a perfect movie, but director Chris Moore takes the Saw 101 approach and spins in some Battle Royale intrigue and a few goretastic moments. The premise is sound and execution is slightly above average.

When you're flipping through your Netflix or your local DVD store, this is the After Dark Horrorfest movie you want to be on the lookout for.

19.) Daybreakers
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)

I didn't really review this movie but I'll admit, I liked the concept. It's not a perfect movie by any means but the setup was so intriguing I clearly got caught up by a world dominated by vampires.

Seeing this new world where everybody is a vampire has gotta be the best dystopia I've seen in recent years. You would think the vampires would have thought ahead of what would happen.

The movie forgettably succumbs to a long drawn out battle but seeing the technology for a post vampiric world was why it ends up on this list.

There was so much they could have done and they only did the most adequate amount. But it's definitely a sight to behold.


18.) Death of the Dead
(3 spinkicks)

Death of the Dead is a campy horror kung fu comedy, comparable to seeing a YouTube video of a dude getting kicked in the groin. Think Karate Kid meets Troma and throw in a little bit of Scary Movie and some Zucker Brothers. Mix in a blender and you got Death of the Dead.

Death of the Dead is chock full of sight gags, toilet humor and self aware jokes that it had me laughing at all this kung fu foolery. It's also smart enough to not be those movies where you parody the latest popular movie (sorry Twilight fans). What it does is take 2 genres, the karate action movie and the zombie movie and mixes in the cliches from both to make a comedy that cleverly mocks the mockery.

This is the only horror comedy I have on my list. And it should be proud to be here.


17.) Rare Exports
(3 spinkicks)

Rare Exports is that rare holiday gem that makes you feel the holiday spirit. I mentioned Rare Exports and the viral shorts that gave birth to this feature a while ago. Having seen the shorts, I'll admit it took away from the film a bit for me.

Not since Gremlins has a Christmas themed mild horror film put a smile on my face. Rare Exports takes the traditional little boy staple, dashes in a far away land and throws in a few naked but angry Santas to turn in one of the most entertaining holiday movies this year.

Rare Exports gladly twists your red cheeked, white beard, jolly fat man into the most menacing threat on the other side of the Atlantic. Blending fairy tale into a bizarro Christmas tale, Rare Exports gives you that feeling of being a kid on Christmas morning. What more would you want?


16.) Frozen
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)

What the hell right? Why is Frozen all the way down on a Top 20 list? I know what you're thinking. It should be waaaay higher. But here's the deal for me regarding Frozen.

I absolutely loved the premise of what would you do if you were trapped on a ski lift and there was no hope of rescue. The movie shows some of these theories play out and a few others that seem quite preposterous. Like the movie its ultimately compared to, Open Water (a movie I also thought was average at best) the best part of the movie is not seeing the suffering or the panic on the faces of our would be survivors, it's coming up with ways we think we could survive the same ordeal.

It's a mixed bag of nuts for me. I liked the premise, the escape attempts and *gasp* even the characters. What I didn't like were the other obstacles that nature threw their way that seemed outright ridiculous.
Which is why it ends up as #16.


15.) Sella Turcica
(3 spinkicks)

August Underground this is not. Sella Turcica is the latest film from Toe Tag Pictures.

Sella Turcica takes the cliched overused soldier's homecoming story and adds a horror element that redefines trauma in a whole new way. This is the evolution of Toe Tag we are seeing and I like where they are going. It may take a while to get going but somehow I have to admit I was liking each of the characters. They reminded me of a friend's hometown, each of the people resembling real people, not the cardboard MTV cutouts we always see in horror movies.

It's an uneasy feeling to go from Lifetime movie of the week to gorehound delight in a span of 100 or so minutes. But that's what happens in Sella Turcica and while we all know it won't end well, you know your going to be shell shocked instead of post traumatized.


14.) Burning Bright
(3 spinkicks)

Burning Bright has been on a lot of Top 10s and after seeing this flick I know why. Such a simple premise but it works on all cylinders. A teenage girl and her autistic brother are trapped in a house with A TIGER!!!!!!!!!!! during a hurricane. It's preposterous but its awesome at the same time.

It turns into a cat and mouse affair and we get some scenes of heightened suspense and tension. The house is traveled well and our final girl does all she can to outsmart the tiger.

But the tiger goes all tiger and is damn smart himself.

Who knew a movie about a killer tiger could give me a horror happy?



13.) Splice
(4 spinkicks)

Insano Steve gave this 4 spinkicks and I would give it high marks as well.

I've missed DNA resequencing films and Splice shows why they are so much fun to watch.

Via Insano Steve.

See Splice. Seriously, see Splice! This was a super fun movie to watch. At first, I had hoped this would be a semi-realistic look at the dangers of gene manipulation.

As it turns out, it was just a B-movie, but a thoroughly enjoyable one. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it yet, go see Splice!


12.) The Taint
(3 spinkicks)

The Taint is the next evolution of the Troma movie. I think Troma has lost touch with it's extreeminess but directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson have spawned a new genre of low budget horror comedy. The American WTF movie. That's what The Taint is. It's got a mild plot, some easily identifiable characters and lots of WTF. I've never seen so much WTF in my movie viewing history. That and a lot of penis. Yes folks, this movie has more penis shots than a Playgirl pictorial.

I've seen some indie budget horror coms that fall in line with The Taint. But the others never had the amount of gore and splatter this flick has. In the same vain as Black Devil Doll, Isle of the Damned, Hanger, Gutterballs and John Waters flicks it's 110% offensive and 200% fucked up fun.

Running at an unbelievable 70 minutes, you'll need to take a long cold shower after seeing this filthy filth. If you have a wife or GF, send them to movies to see a rom com because they may "Bobbit" you if they catch you watching The Taint.


11.) The Horseman
(3 spinkicks)

It's been a while since I've seen a straight balls hurtin revenge movie. I still believe Chan-wook Park's Oldboy is the standard though Kill Bill puts out the ultraviolence pretty solidly as well. But that's the past.

Welcome to Australia's version of revenge.

And as the old adage goes, if you see one uber violent revenge movie this year....well let it be The Horseman.

Steven Kastrissio's The Horseman is a climax of alpha male Fight Club fists of fury meets a dish best served cold. The journey we take with Christian, our grief stricken father whose daughter was snuffed by a porn/snuff ring is suspenseful and filled with clashing of pure poetic violence.

Check your guns and katanas at the door. No need for that wimpy shit here. Christian uses a variety of elaborate torture weapons from knives, hammers and pliers to exact his blood fury. So what do we end up with?

A soon to be classic revenge movie that is no holds barred one of the best the genre has to offer.

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CLICK HERE FOR #10-1!!!!

The Jaded Viewer Related Linkage

• The Best Quotey Quotables from the Worst Movies I saw in 2010
• Top 5 Action Movies of 2010

Categories: Best Horror Movies of 2010, burning bright, death of the dead, exploitation, frozen, grindhouse, indie horror, rare exports, sella turcica, splice, the taint, top 10 horror movies of 2010

The Back Room (Review)

The Back Room

The Back Room (2010)

Directed by Tim Stover

You'd think Las Vegas would be a perfect place to make grindhouse movie. Strip away the glitz and glamour of Vegas and dig into the underbelly and it might be grimy and filthy and fucked up.

But somehow whenever there is a horror movie that takes place in Vegas, it feels like filmmakers miss the point and never use Vegas to its potential. That's what I thought when I watched this grindhouse homage The Back Room. It's in the same vain of the most famous serial killer exploitation film shot in Vegas Nick Palumbo's Murder Set Pieces.

They are eerily similar and almost run the same in some cases. The funny thing is I didn't like MSP when I saw it. It seemed kinda pointless, boring and not as shocking as you'd think it would be. And that's what I thought of The Back Room as well. It was supposedly "banned" from the US which might be a hook to get you to see it because it might be "too shocking". But at the end of the day, it's a low budget bait and switch propaganda shockfest that says I'm blood drenched insanity when its more of an 70 minute death metal music video instead.


Boring Plot-O-Matic

A man is haunted by his nightmares to the point he goes into a downward spiral to do anything that would appease this figure in his dreams. The audience gets to see what goes on insides of his head. It's a film that makes one wonder who the quiet neighbor living next to him really is. What would you do to make the nightmares go away?

Awesome Review-O-Matic

And death metal music video it is. William is our Dexter who seems to be clearly insane as he dreams of a ghostly woman who tells him to kill. And so he kills and kills and kills. He kills the girl that likes him, a hitchhiker, a prostitute and others. Throughout the movie, we can hear him narrate what's going inside his head. He doesn't want to kill these women but he's manipulated to.

So it goes.

The Back Room is clearly a low budget affair that tries all the tricks of being an grindhouse movie. It has the old timey Tarantino/Rodriguez feature presentation intro, staticky lines, weird VHS saturation and a frenetic editing metal pounding to it.

My first gripe is that the tagline of "A modern take on the grindhouse horror" is cool and all but the whole point of the disclaimers, crappy editing and the numerous cigaratte burns and staticky lines is that's just how it was back in the 70s and 80s. If you put that in to make it feel grindhousey, setting it in modern times feels weird...y know? You really don't need that crap. I mean its not like your filming your movie with a video camcorder right? Shit, it was probably edited on a Mac.

You can be grindhouse with your themes and your splatter and nudity. No need for the gimmicks.

The splatter and gore in The Back Room is adequate. Lots of cliched kills for the gorehound. You know, spitting up blood, beatened heads and sliced hands and so forth. Yawn. I've seen worse gore in a PETA video.

The acting is mediocre and filled with lots of film noir narrating by our Dexter. The most WTF Moment has gotta be that in one scene where our serial killer is on the prowl, the death metal soundtrack is playing in the background. I couldn't hear a word between the killer and the killee during their conversation. Sure, you gotta get the music in there but not in what's suppose to be a tension filled scene.

Lots of flashbacks are also melded into the flick that were just rehash scenes from things we saw 3 minutes ago. I know it was for dreamlike effect but cmon now, that's just being lazy. In all honesty, it was one big death metal music video instead of a coherent grindhouse movie.

Even the women victims who could be relied on to fill that nudity staple was lacking. I mean I'm sure for a few chips and a all you can eat buffet, a few hot looking Vegas strippers would be in a horror movie.

Let me just say I appreciated the effort to make a modern day exploitation movie filled with serial killer wickedness, nudity and splatter. From talking to a lot of independent and indie horror filmmakers, it's an endeavor you go into and do your best at. Then you have some run of the mill horror blog say yucky things about it, well you gotta take your lumps. Tim Stover and his crew do the best they can but at the end of the day, they were a few years late on this concept.

With Murder Set Pieces having already getting the notoriety of a Vegas serial killer flick, it's kinda hard to see a movie in the same subgenre and not compare it. Even though I didn't like MSP, it had its moments, was original when it came out and was bloody awesmoerific.

The Back Room is MSP's little brother copying what big brother already did. Sorry little bro. Time to grow up and take a different path.

Gore-ipedia

Bat Bashing
Strangulation
Slice and dice
Blood drenched splatter
Etc. Etc. Etc.

Nude-ipedia

Beer goggle boobage

WTF moment

The soundtrack plays throughout the entire movie

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The film is still available in Canada. Let's just say if your eager to see every serial killer made, check out The Back Room. It does have a few crazy visuals that stick in my mind like a blood soaked tub filled with naked women and the visual of the aptly titled back room was a trip and half.

Hopefully, in Stover's next film he'll take Vegas and it's potential into a new horror frontier.

The Vitals

• The official sitectures
  
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Rating:


Check out the trailer below.

Categories: 2010 horror dvd, 2010 horror movies, exploitation film, gore, grindhouse, indie film, indie horror, serial killer movie, splatter, the back room